All Comments on 'Cassy's Game'

You are a skilled writer, and I strongly encourage you to continue.

One mistake you make in your first-person POV stories is to reveal thoughts and physical feelings by characters other than the narrator. For example: "Cassy asked as she felt her pussy moisten." This sentence doesn't make sense in a first-person story. There's no way the narrator can know Cassie was feeling her pussy moisten. First-person POV limits the narrator to only those things they personally know or can observe with their senses. In this example you could have written something like this instead: "Cassy asked. I saw her cheeks blush."

This is not to say first-person stories are bad. Quite the contrary. They allow the highest level of intimacy between the reader and main character. You just have to understand the limitations.

This might help you: https://www.how-to-write-a-book-now.com/pros-and-cons-of-first-and-third-person.html

I look forward to your future writings.

Thanks for the feedback on first person perspective. This one was particularly challenging because she was telling me the stories from her own perspective, but I wrote it from his. I left some of her own thoughts and feelings in there not knowing this. Thanks for the info. I'll keep that in mind for future stories.

I hope Cassie comes back as "Black owned" with a brand or tat and of course numerous piercings. Great story hope she returns.

I like your stories. I think in order to take them to the next level you should add some explicit mention of pregnancy risk or impregnation. I love how the wife begs to take her master's black seed but what is the purpose of that? The purpose of white wives taking black seed is to get pregnant with a black baby. That would really add a lot of extra punch to your stories if you explored that sort of thing.

Wifeseed, she specifically said that was not her thing when she relayed her story to me. She just wanted black dick. Wasn't interested in having kids, black or white.

Any chances of a sequel?

You are a very good writer, Bridgekicker.

As far as the sequel, we'll see. Not sure if Cassy has any more adventures in store for her.

Lovely story. Extremely well written and one to remember. As a husband, I always prefer that the husband be present. I can't deny that the bait and switch added a touch of spice, though I would no want that to happen to me. Anyway, how about Cassy inviting the crew over for a weekend? She tells them that the husband had to travel for work and she misses them. The husband can have some cameras installed so he gets to at least see everything. What if they throw a party, and leave her blindfolded with a miniskirt. Maybe she is collard and attached to something as a treat for the guests. My wife has lovely holes and the thought (and the reality) of other hard men getting to know her sweet charms turns me on. Anyway, keep up the good work.

Anonymous commenter, yes I agree. I'd have preferred to have the husband there, but this was "Cassy's" story, not my own. I didn't like the use of the N word, but she did in fact slip in front of the men, and they went ballistic on her. Then after that, they made her say it. Each time, they'd fuck her harder. Not sure about a chapter two right now. Unless she reaches out to me again with more ideas. I believe she's reached out to quite a few authors on here. I looked up her name on Literotica after I posted this story and found a few others with Cassy and Bobby in them. Must be a hobby...

Fantastic!! Seriously by far the best story I've read in a long time. I really hope there's another chapter at-least.

Keep up the great work

Fuck me, that was hot. My pussy is leaving puddles on the bed right now.

First off, let me say that the sex in the story was hot, hot, hot!!! And that your writing is very good! But I do feel that there were some holes in the story. I know it was relayed to you so it wasn’t your story to tell (you were just the writer), but there are parts where the story didn’t make sense.

1. Cassy saw that the room number wasn’t the one communicated earlier as soon as she got to the room. She must’ve known that Bobby wouldn’t be able to find them, and yet she did not share that information with him. It should’ve also been a red flag on their intentions to deceive them. The agreement was that they’d have her for 10 minutes to themselves and then Bobby would watch everything that happened after that. By not sharing the new room number with Bobby, she deliberately left him out of the experience, even though that was supposed to be part of “the game”.

2. When she asked him for permission to proceed, she had no reason to believe Bobby would’ve stayed quiet. Given the previous red flag with the room number, she should’ve suspected there was something wrong when he did not respond; they were very communicative about the game up to that point (“silence” had never been used to mean consent), so not hearing him respond should’ve alerted her to something being wrong.

3. When they met at the club, while she had told her lovers that she wouldn’t talk to Bobby, he wasn’t subject to those same rules. He could’ve (and should’ve) walked right up to them, told them they violated their agreement by deceiving him with the room number and then purposely lowering the volume on her phone so she couldn’t hear his reaction and have the option to say no to something, per the rules of their game. He should’ve then left the club with Cassy.

4. When she came back to him at the end, I can’t believe that he wouldn’t raise any of these issues with her. A reasonable reaction from him should’ve been that she should have no further contact with them given all the tricks they pulled to mess with their game and their rules. While he couldn’t directly blame her for continuing given that she couldn’t hear him yelling no to her (even though he could be angry for her not questioning the silence), he should’ve explained their deception to her, and her reaction should’ve been to apologize and to tell him she would not see them again.

I understand that logic doesn’t always apply when people are turned on, but their deception put their relationship at risk. Also, as I mentioned before, I understand that this wasn’t your story, but I think these holes should’ve been obvious, and if I was the one being told the story with the intent to write it, these would’ve been legitimate questions to ask.

Well said. I learned some lessons on this one.

This is a great story, so hot! I think I liked it so much as it plays to my most desired fantasy, I'm sure there could be many more hot sequels.

You had me enthralled, all the way, up until you stepped across the line and entered the humiliating and cuck world. I’m not a fan of either of those types of fetishes. It would have been so much better had some respect and desire been shown when it came to those two. Also would have been more believable. The story itself was so good to that point. Especially with Jason the bar owner. That was HOT !!!!

That scene was out of my head. The rest was from "Cassy." That is why I stopped collaboration projects. Thank you for your honest feedback.

hey BK. would love to hear a story like this more from the Cassy view especially when they are talking trash to her. Whats in her mind.

Like most of the comments, I agree first part of story was hot and I enjoyed. Last part in Florida was sick and really unbelievable. The chance of her being infected with all kinds of VD disease and physical injury made it unbelievable. I have shared my wife and I would never not be there to protect her. Dumb dumb.

Honestly... the story was hot and exiting up until the BBC part. As someone who is in the liberal world for 4 years as a couple and before I met my wife I had around 3 years as a single man, I can smell the BS miles away. Noted this ain't your story, but you should have done some research before writing what people tell you.

1- consent is everything in this world. A no is a no a yes is a yes and silence (when visual contact is impossible) is also a no.

2- Not all black guys are big and hung like ALL the tales here tell, acualy latinos are more likely to be big then black guys.

3- The established rules are meant to be respected. That's not a wife, that's a slut.

You should have stoped at the bar with the polinesian guy. Up until then it was perfect. After that... 👎

About the writing and the story telling, it was perfect.