All Comments on 'Casual Nudity'

Sorry, this is just a weird and jarring format. Doesn’t turn me on.

Should have stuck with your first instinct and not wrote this

Thanks for the feedback. Sorry that you don't enjoy the format. I assume that you mean you don't like video-scripts in general -- short scripts that would be made into a film -- and it's not just this specific story.

I don't think the problem is so much the format as the implementation. It looked to me like you were mixing past and present tenses and even point of view between 1st and 3rd person. It's really hard to follow a story like that. I think you even mixed a few of them in the same paragraph which even makes it hard to draw a vague picture in the mind of the scene you're trying to describe.

Kinda made it feel like I was reading notes that were planned for a story rather than the story itself. I can only give a 1 star for this.

Story format was way to hard to follow sucking out the enjoyment of what was a good premise

Could be decent in story form, the whole script format completely ruins it though.

So first of all I don't agree with the person saying you shouldn't have written this. It's rare to find "Video-Scripts" on this website. Quite refreshing and interesting.

On another note: this feels like a rough outline/draft rather than a script. Do you intend to expand on the idea? Or are you fine with it remaining just that, an appealing idea for a short film.

I appreciate all of the comments, and it helps me understand what to spend more attention on in upcoming scenes. The comments show me that I have to do a better job at distinguish between strict dialog and what's left for the director's creativity.

This story was meant to start with Brenda describing the past and then switching to the present wen we catch up. And I can tell that I confused people in the transition.

The alternating points of view are a challenge to write and from what I hear a challenge to read. When I used to write more detailed scripts that were closer to a story, I discovered that it was far too detailed. Directors expect a looser script that gives them a lot of flexibility and actresses aren't expected to memorize specific lines. But I didn't like the bare summaries that came out of that -- they felt like the PowerPoint version of a story. I'm trying to provide a balance and use enough specifics to make the story interesting but also include some guidance to the directors. It sounds like the switch between first and third person -- between telling the story and giving direction -- that several have described as confusing and jarring.

You didn't describe the characters appearance. How do you expect your story to work if we don't know what the characters look like?

Thank you for the feedback.

Sometimes, when I especially have a certain look in mind, I'll describe the appearance. But I've also been criticized when I do that I'm writing with specific actresses in mind. So, sometimes I leave the casting to the producer.

I liked the story I grew up with 3 sisters who also was always naked I thought nothing of it I know they liked to tease me and watch me fuck my girlfriend I would never think of having sex with them My mom ran away when I was young and they were always playing mom to me

I'd ignore bzbreezybz's comment. Describing the character's appearances in detail alienates readers that don't particularly like the traits you're describing. It's far better to let readers form an image of the characters themselves, so that they can impose whatever traits they personally find attractive on them.