Cat Nipped Ch. 05

"And Ska'a minds developed almost as rapidly as our bodies. Scientists crafted larger, deadlier weapons. Even with hyper-fast healing our species was dying at an alarming rate. The only thing that saved us from annihilation were our increasingly sturdy bodies. Well, that and technological advances based on the work of magic users like me, and the varied branches of science. Of course, those advances came with their own price. Almost before we knew, we had destroyed our atmosphere, our drinking water, our whole environment. We were forced to abandon our world.

"At this point the Ska'a were advanced enough for intergalactic travel. A council made up of the Fathers and Mothers..."

"Mothers? What mothers?" I ask, confused beyond measure.

"The Mothers are mated to the Fathers. Together a Mother and a Father oversee each Ska'a tribe. Something happened to the Mother for the tribe here on Earth. Either my mother didn't know the story or she never bothered to tell me. Anyway... The Mothers and Fathers got together and decided that rather than attempt to relocate all of the tribes to a viable planet, the tribes would each go their separate ways, making their way as best they could. This would ensure the tribes didn't kill one another off. So the Ska'a entered their spacecraft, taking as much as they could carry from their doomed planet.

"Decades passed with only minimal contact between the tribes, so it took a while for us to discover annihilation hadn't been averted. It had only been delayed; Ska'a females were no longer having children! Our magnificent bodies, capable of healing the most grievous wounds, fighting off nearly any infection or sickness, had betrayed us."

Tara pauses, looking away from me. I feel her tension; feel it like it's my own. I gingerly reach out and touch her arm, attempting to give her comfort I don't really feel. She gives me a half smile, but there are shadows in her pretty, hazel eyes that weren't there when we sat down to talk. With a squeeze to my hand, Tara resumes her tale.

"Of course it didn't take long to figure out why our females weren't producing offspring. Ska'a bodies had become so efficient at killing off germs and bacteria, it was only logical that the females would begin to treat any foreign material, including sperm as an invader. We..."

I ask, "What about in vitro fertilization?"

"We tried it along with a host of other ideas. In the end though, the magic users and scientists found that no matter what they tried, Ska'a women would reject any fertilized eggs. It seemed the Ska'a were destined to disappear." Tara pauses again, taking a deep breath before plunging ahead. "I think you've noticed that I have a pretty high sex drive," she continues. "Well I'm not unique in that sense. As a species, Ska'a are generally up to two things: fucking or fighting. And we are not too discriminating in our choice of partners, present company excluded of course."

"Don't try to sweet talk me now," I mumble. This gets me one of Tara's rare full mouth smiles. She is so very beautiful. My heart skips a beat.

"My mother says, 'If it has a hole or a pole, sooner or later Ska'a will be mating with it.'" Tara's laugh is just a little off. "There was a female on a distant planet one of the tribes settled on," Tara says flatly. "She was able to overcome her fear of the Ska'a. More than overcome I should say; she was having sex with two of the male warriors for several years when she became pregnant. Fourteen months later she gave birth." Tara's hazel eyes lock on mine. A fine line mars the skin between her eyebrows and her face has gone stony. "The child favored the mother, the female from the planet, but when tested genetically he possessed Ska'a genes. Over the period of a few decades, the child grew to favor the Ska'a warrior who had fathered him. By the time the young male had reached his first century he was indistinguishable from the rest of the males in the tribe. Physically and genetically he was Ska'a.

"This wasn't an aberration. Similar stories were coming in from all the scattered tribes about interspecies breeding and the Ska'a children they produced." Tara continues to stare at me, even going so far as turning my head when I try to look away. "And it didn't matter if it was a male Ska'a who fathered the child or if another species impregnated one of our females, the child would always have the genetic makeup of the Ska'a parent. Regardless of what they looked like at birth, before reaching a hundred years old they would take on the physical characteristics of the Ska'a. Always. No exceptions."

There's a cold lump in my belly. I have to clear my throat twice before I'm able to speak. "Those are some strong genes," I say.

"Yeah!" Tara answers. The lump in my belly leaps into my chest. A prickling sensations moves from my lower back up to my shoulders and neck. The look she is giving me is intense. A frustrated tear slides out of one of her eyes, before sliding down her cheek. Tara scrubs it away angrily with the heel of her hand.

"C'mon Jenn, you're a smart girl. I know you see where I'm going with this," she snaps.

I do. I think about the leap I made from the floor last night. And about how young my face seems when I look in the mirror. I think about the deep scratches on my arm when Tara shredded hers. I'm no rocket scientist, but I know a little bit. Here's a question for you. How do you put apples and oranges in a bag, but make sure you only get apples when you pour the bag out? Easy stupid, only put apples in to begin with. It's obvious that the children are Ska'a because at the time of conception both the parents are Ska'a. Or at least headed that way. The cold lump in my stomach and chest tightens, making it hard to draw in a breath. My neck, my shoulders are hard as steel girders. A tear slips from my own eyes. I'm losing my humanity!

I move to stand and Tara reaches out to me. She moves fast, faster than human, but I'm faster now too. I catch her hands, bringing them to my lips for a quick kiss. "I have to go," I say.

"Jennifer..."

"I HAVE TO GO!" I shout. I back toward the door, watching while Tara wraps her arms tightly around her middle. My heart feels like its pumping broken glass instead of blood, but there is no way I can be here right now.

"Please, Jenn. Give me a chance to explain. I love you. I never meant to hurt you."

"I can't stay here. I need to move. I need to think!"

"Let me come with you. Please?"

"No," I say, my back flat against the door. My hand reaches for the handle. Without another word I walk out of Tara's apartment.

***-----***

I rush to the Jeep and throw myself behind the wheel. I peel out of Tara's parking lot as fast as I can. My eyes are blinded by my tears. Driving in nearly impossible; my concentration is shot, plus I can't see for shit. As soon as I'm able I pull off into a strip mall parking lot.

How do I come to terms with this...cluster? Can this transformation be stopped or maybe reversed? What happens if the process continues? Will I lose my job? What about my family and friends? I'm so frustrated I slam my fist against the Jeep's dash and watch as it cracks from the radio to the windshield. Fuck!

I stare at the broken dash for several minutes, shocked at the damage from what felt like a very minor hit. I'm reminded of Tara's words just minutes ago, 'I can't wait now because it could be dangerous to everyone around you.' How the heck does Tara manage to make it through her day without destroying everything she touches? I'm struggling! My mind feels like a whirling sinkhole where my thoughts circle round and round before being pulled into a tangled mess.

My mother would be so ashamed of me. I wasn't raised to run away from my problems. I was taught to stand up, put on my big girl panties and go to work. But Mom never had to deal with anything like this. God! I miss her so much. I touch the gladiolus flower tattoo peeking out of my shirt collar. The tattoo somehow eases the pain of my mother's passing. Tara gave me this tattoo! Who else could have reached into my soul and found this perfect design?

I know what my Mom would say if she were here right now. She'd say, "Do you love her enough to put up with all the problems? If you do then go back and find a way to make things work, otherwise you may as well turn your car back on and keep on driving." If it's just a matter of love then it's a no-brainer. Tara is MINE! My mate. My lover. My Tara. I put the Jeep in gear and head back to Tara's to apologize.

***-----***

"I'm sorry" is all I manage to get out when I walk into Tara's apartment before my leaping girlfriend lands in my arms.

"You came back," she squeals.

"I should never have left."

"You're right about that! You should know, if you try to leave me again I will hunt you down and bring you back screaming and kicking." I smile though there is nothing humorous about Tara's words or demeanor. My fierce little Tara! She has no idea; I could never leave now.

"Hey," I ask, "I have a question about what we discussed. If none of the Ska'a women will accept fertilized eggs how can they get pregnant by other species?"

Tara gives me a huge grin. Her eyes grow lighter and I'd swear they pulse with light. "That's a good question. Nobody knows why it works that way."

She's smiling like the Cheshire cat. Maybe nobody knows, but I'm betting somebody does. "But you know or at least you have a pretty good theory."

"I do. First you need to understand that within a tribe this is the type of problem a magic user like me would be assigned to solve. We're intuitive thinkers not linear problem solvers. Anyway, here's my theory. When the new mates are becoming Ska'a their bodies are changing, transforming. The initial changes allow fertilization to proceed normally for a while, but then stop after a few decades. I believe with the right catalyst those changes could become permanent!"

My mind tries to absorb Tara's words, but it keeps snagging on 'a few decades'. "How long do you guys live anyway?"

"Don't you mean, how long do we live?"

"Whatever. Answer the stinkin' question." Tara looks at me for a few moments and I swear I can see her having an internal debate. When her lips take on a pouty look I'm guessing she's decided to be difficult. Oh well, I guess I deserve it.

"A long time," she replies. "A really, really long time." She holds up a hand to stop me from commenting. "I know I'm being difficult, but I owe you for your little runaway stunt. You'll get your answer if you do me a favor."

"Sure, I owe you. What's the favor?"

Tara sighs and flops down on the couch. "No this isn't right. Our relationship shouldn't be based on you owing me or me owing you. Barring some sort of catastrophic injury we, you and I, will live somewhere between fifteen and sixteen hundred years."

"Yeah, right. I may look young now, but I wasn't born yesterday," I say with a chuckle.

The flat stare Tara gives me makes me swallow my laughter. "I'm not kidding babe. I told you to be open to change. When you live as long as we're going to you have to be flexible."

I flop onto the couch next to Tara. I reach me over pulling her legs into my lap. I don't know how to process this information. Running back to the shower is looking better to me than ever. It's not much of a coping strategy though. I decide that a change of topic is my best bet for staving off a panic attack. "So what's the favor?"

"My friend Carmen is in town tonight. She wants to get together with me, Sydney and Mike. I'd love for you to come with me."

"Sure, I'll come. But wouldn't you have more fun without me to tagging along."

Tara reaches out to me, placing one of her warm hands on my face. "You're my mate; my second half. I'll always want you with me. No matter where I'm going or what I'm doing. Plus, Carmen, Mike and Syd are like my family. I want to show my girl off."

Well how can I refuse that?

***-----***

As we pull up to the restaurant, I sense some trepidation in my mate. I wonder if maybe she would have been more comfortable coming alone.

"It's not you", Tara says.

"My god! Are you picking up everything I'm thinking?"

"No, but I told you the stronger you're thing about something the more likely I am to pick up that thought. Kind of the same way you picked up that I was worried. Anyway, what I was thinking about has nothing to do with you."

"So what were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about Carmen." She ponders for a moment. "I guess the best way to describe her is to say she can be intense." Hmmm. In my experience intense can often be substituted for asshole. "And no, she's not an asshole or an asshat or any other type of ass," Tara says. "She's just...you'll see what I mean. There is one thing I should warn you about. If you lie, or say something untrue she will call you out. It's like lies offend her on some deep level, so please don't say anything that isn't true."

Okay. Needless to say my psycho meter is going off. We step inside the cozy little Italian place and I immediately see Sydney and Mike. With her striking light caramel coloring and beautiful features she is hard to miss and Mike is big enough to play on the offensive line for the Panthers. Sitting with them is a woman of Hispanic heritage. She's pretty, but there's a hard edge to her beauty, a sternness that makes me think bitch with a capital B.

Sydney is the first to see us, smiling and waving us over good naturedly. Mike and Carmen notice us about the same time. I get my first really good look at Carmen when she sights Tara slightly behind me weaving between the tables. Carmen smiles to see her friend and it transforms her face. Gone is the stern visage, the haughty look. In its place, I see a warm, loving smile that is reflected in Carmen's dark chocolate eyes. Her skin is nearly the same shade as Sydney's only with red overtones rather than brown. Like Tara, Carmen keeps her dark hair long.

The three friends stand as we approach their table, passing out hugs and kisses as greetings. There is a little jealousy on my part, but I squelch the feeling when I see how happy Tara's friends make her. Turns out Carmen is tall, taller than my 5' 10" even. When she pulls Tara into a tight hug she also grabs my arm, pulling me into a group hug.

Now normally I am not much for being embraced by complete strangers, but there is something about Carmen that touches me deep inside. I know that sounds strange, because it is. The only thing I can compare it to is the feeling you get walking down a crowded street and passing someone who catches your eye. You turn around to take another look and find them staring back at you. I don't know if its Deja vu or some deep metaphysical connection, but it's real. If you haven't felt it yet you will. Anyway, that's what it feels like when Tara's friend Carmen pulls me into that hug. Only multiplied by ten! So instead of pulling back, when Carmen pulls me in tight I squeeze her back and lean in to kiss her on the cheek. Not a European greeting, an actual pursed lip kiss on a complete stranger's cheek. God! My face heats up in embarrassment.

Carmen pulls back enough to look me in the face, giving me another of those warm smiles that softens her face. "Well aren't you a friendly one?"

"Sorry," I answer. "I don't know what came over me."

"Don't be," Carmen replies while leaning in to answer my kiss with a kiss of her own, only hers lands on my lips not my cheek. I'm too shocked to be flustered and the moment passes when she turns to Tara and says, "Oh I like her!"

The five of us settle into the small rectangular table. Sydney and Mike are seated next to one another on one side, with Carmen sitting to Mike's right at the table's head. Tara slides into the chair across from Sydney, leaving the only open chair in between Tara and Carmen. I sit cautiously, not at all certain about this seating arrangement. Our group takes a few minutes to place food and drink orders and soon they arrive, allowing us to settle into a conversation.

I shouldn't have worried about my seat. Turns out I'm in the perfect spot to unobtrusively watch the interplay between the friends. At first their talk centers around catching Carmen up on new things going on in their lives. I get the impression it has been some time since Carmen has seen them all together. Soon enough though, the four friends begin recounting funny and sometimes bizarre tales from their college and post-college years. Carmen features prominently in many of their escapades leaving me with the impression she is a catalyst for drama. Tara works hard to include me in the discussion, providing background and supplemental information so I am able to follow along.

I appreciate the gesture, but I appreciate her demonstrative behavior more! Throughout the meal my mate grabs and holds my hand, presses her shoulder to mine, even lays her head against my shoulder in the most adorable way. So many PDAs. I would sit through a hundred meals just to be near her. I'm practically in heaven except for two major things: there is something odd about this group's dynamic and I know Carmen from somewhere.

When I say the dynamic is odd I don't mean to give the impression the individuals are strange or eclectic, I mean the way in which they interact is off. It's apparent to me in the way Mike, Sydney and Tara lean toward Carmen as they speak. As though they are drawn to her almost magnetically. I feel it too. The urge to get Carmen's attention, to have her like me is not normal behavior for me, so it feels strange to be drawn in this way. Peculiarly, there is also an underlying unease between this group. Again, the unease is mostly among Mike, Sydney and Tara. I see it in the way their fingers drum restlessly on the table, the fine movements of their shoulders and necks, as the shaking of their legs moves their upper bodies. They're nervous!

But I can't really focus much attention on those three. Most of my concentration is reserved for Carmen. I'd swear I've seen her before though I can't remember exactly where or when. I can say her personality is big capital "B". Carmen's attention to whomever is speaking is tight, focused like a hawk watching for prey. Her laughter, when someone provokes it, bubbles out of her like a river sluicing through rapids, fast and chaotic. I find myself liking this woman immensely. At one point she catches me watching her and she gives me a quick wink, while flashing a smile that seems to say, 'I see you, silly girl!' I blush in embarrassment. Still, I continue to watch.

Most of us have finished eating when Carmen grabs my left hand. "So Jennifer," she says, "everyone can see how Tara feels about you. Why don't you tell us how you feel about her?"

The urge to tell Carmen my deepest feelings is nearly overwhelming. She's locked her bitter chocolate brown eyes on mine and now I can't look away. I will not tell Carmen how much I love Tara before telling Tara herself. My lips pull back, baring my teeth in a way no one will mistake for a smile. Deep inside my chest a snarl, a savage growl builds, though I do my best to hold it in. My body shakes with my effort to break the compulsion to speak. Though I fight the urge I am losing. It won't be long before I spill everything I feel to the wrong person.

"It's okay," Tara says. She puts her hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to say anything. I know how you feel."

Like a cloud passing before the sun, Tara's touch cools the urge to blurt out my thoughts to Carmen. Now though, I will give them to Tara. "I love you," I say as I turn to face Tara. "These last few weeks have been absolutely the best weeks of my life. I know that we haven't known each other long, but I know enough to tell you I want you in my life. Always. I want to go to sleep in your arms and wake up with you holding me tight. I want us to be together, every night, and I don't care if we stay at your place or mine as long you're there. I want to get married so everyone will know that you're my girl. And some day, someday soon, I want us to start a family." My voice runs down, getting lower as I realize just how much I've opened up. Shit! I didn't mean to drop all that at once.