by blackrandl1958
This is my second reading of this wonderful, well written, and exceptionally well crafted romance.
does occur to me how much he gave up. Four years is a long time to ask a thirty something to wait to get married and start a family. He's going to be grandpa age before their kids are out of the house. Certainly sounds like she would be worth it though.
It is wonderful to have such a well written story on this site. Most of the other well written stories are normally edited by you!
Keep up the good work and thanks.
This was a great read! I love a good love story, and I am a man. This storyline was quite real and took me through many emotions as I read. Thanks for the ride.
Randi; you are a splendid writer!
I'd also like to thank you for all the time you put into this Lit site!
What a great love story. But I can’t help but think that most guys would not have lasted through all the “drama” that went on. I mean, I know how guys are. Anyway, a great story, definitely a 5 Star effort.
I remember this happened with my cousin and his girl where a guy like brick told him about them having sex and I knew that his wife of 20 years Jesse was nothing like that she would come to me for encouragement and help in her relationship because I was a good friend and hooked them up. So we went and told her what he said and she said he tried to rape her and she kicked him out and he got mad and called my cousin with buckshot. So after I confronted the douche bag his name was Rick Mendaz. He tried to threaten that he and his friends would get their chance and he decided to swing on me and after putting him in the hospital because I was taught by my dad you don't fuck with family. So after we told the police his ass is in jail now. Great story I loved it. Have a good one everyone.
Couldn't have asked for a better read! Five stars, since I can't give you six. The ending - a little curtailed?
Actually in this context the force would be proportional to velocity squared, as the kinetic energy absorbed equals the work done (force times distance), and the distance would be roughly constant.
Thank you for a wonderful story.
Great story. This one was feel good story which we need from time to time. Thank you!
Geek alert: (Please skip this if nerd talk makes you eyes roll uncontrollably). On page four there was a physics error. "Mass times the square of the velocity" is the formula for kinetic energy. Force according to Newton's second law of motion is mass times acceleration. Using metric, acceleration is meters per second squared. Velocity squared is meters squared per seconds squared. /Geek alert
That being said, the story in my eyes would be rated a ten if allowed.
I'm loving every bit of the story but seriously? KC or Memphis barbecue? That is (literally) Weak Sauce. TEXAS barbecue, that's the thing, smoked and tasty, with the sauce on the side like the parsley, where it isn't needed.
Other than that, massive applause. you got me feeling and kept it going all the way through. thank you very much.
Shoooott what a tear and tissue story! ""I LOVED IT"" ★★★★★
THANKS FOR A FANTASTIC STORY! WOOF!
Almost perfect.
5 * for you.
I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.
Other authors write good stories but yours is the best . I have cried and have been reminded of my loses , I long to read more . ,!! Thank you FFFB
I have thoroughly enjoyed your stories. You will be sorely missed. Request if you get the time to send me the aforementioned files.
I hate when a story rips my heart out and brings tears to my eyes. Hated having to favorite it as well. Hate that I have to ask for more of the same.
Try storiesonline. Everything but the books she has for sale at Amazon is there.
I understand that some of your stories aren't available on Literotica. I wonder if you could tell me where they WOULD be available.
Thanks for asking. Go to Amazon and search for Sydney Crosby. Eye in the Sky is my newest novel. I'm not the hockey player. I have three novels there. Trial by Fire and First Estate are the other two.
I'm not sure I'm supposed to do this. If not, they'll take it down. Randi.
I would be pleased to support your professional career. A hint of a name would be helpful. I have found some of qhml1's work, but that was an accident. I doubt my luck would hold long enough to find your books. Help!
I’m sorry; I keep getting anonymous feedback asking me what happened to the stories that used to be on my home page. I cannot respond to anonymous feedback except through this avenue. I apologize for the missing stories, but I took them down and will be taking down the rest of them except for those where I collaborated with another author. I don’t wholly own those stories.
The reason for this is that I’m in the process of becoming a professional author. My writing will be for sale on Amazon and I’m not going to post anymore to the free sites, except as collaborations with friends. My new novel is up on Amazon and doing well, so I am going to focus on writing professionally. That means that I won’t have time to write much for the free sites. I will collaborate on stories with friends and edit for all the people for whom I presently edit. I want to thank everyone who read my stories here, supported me and enjoyed my writing. If you were in the middle of reading a story when I took them down, send me a feedback with an email address and I will send you a word file of the story. I can’t do that if you send me anonymous feedback. I feel bad that happened and I’ll fix it with that particular story, if you give me an email address. Thanks, and all the best, Randi.
This was a most enjoyable read,one of the best I have read lately,,,,just an off note,,here in my area,Locks of Love does not give free wigs,even though the hair is donated,,they do charge,according to what each one can pay,,some more,some less,i hope its free in your area,,but its not here,,
I am not a writer. I am a reader. I don't have any eloquent words to say about your writings. But your stories are like a beautiful sunset, a great cup of coffee, they make a reader come back for more. Thank you.
a winning combination.
But, if I may, a question and thought. You have developed a process. You have assembled a dream team for support. In fact, it seems you have turned over a portion of your creativity to your editors and proof readers. All in the furtherance of the business. After all the massaging, added material, rewriting, editing, and input from the team, is it still a Blackrandl1958 story? Sometimes simple, straight forward without the conflict and tension, romantic, and personal is just enough.
Such an emotionally intense, soul touching beautiful story. Thank you for sharing!
Having read everything Randi has written and exchanged a couple of emails, she mentioned one story she had written but decided not to post. Having a sketchy knowledge of the subject, I finally badgered her into letting me read it with dire warnings from her about how bad it was being completely unscreened and unedited.
As the rational and honest here recognize, her writing is virtually always topnotch. This story which she thought inadequate was no exception in my judgment. I also do some editing and I'm rather detailed (read nit-picky) and a bit esoteric in my editing even eyeing critically the archaic rule of not ending a sentence with a preposition.
In Randi's 5,400+ word story, I found 20 places where I corrected typos, questioned a sentence structure or an ambiguity in the person speaking in a piece of dialog, comma usage, etc. Twenty (20) errors/recommendations/questions for a piece of this length is nothing less than extraordinary in my opinion!
Yet this is what she considered unfit to share.
Beyond the minor degree of errors it contained, I found the story itself, again as usual, well written with very realistic characters and excellent dialog.
I will not try to convince her to post it as she definitely does not like the story and I likewise reserve my right to disagree with her on this one most definitely.
So don't expect to get something fraught with errors from her even in rough form.
Even when this lady writes 'badly', it's superb writing and an excellent read.
Bill
That was one hell of a story!. I can't believe how good that was. I was crying after the first page and there were tears in my eyes the whole time I was reading. I scarcely ever cry, but that was as emotional as anything I've ever read. I loved these characters and the only thing wrong with this story was that it ended. I've never seen editing this good, either. I'm going to go and read all your other stories now. You, young lady, are a hell of a writer.
one of very few authors that so grip me while reading that I couldn't stop reading until I finished reading this story. I was hungry and had things to do; but I couldn't stop reading. You are a very special author, Randi.
Great story, my only complaint/comment would be you seemed to move very quickly over Kara's death. I get this is a romance story but i thought you moved to quickly on that. Again, a great story overall.
Great story and hit home for me with the Locks of Love tie in. I'm a 60ish yr old guy with a mostly bald head yet grew my hair out several years ago along with others in our church for the program. They will accept hair with gray in it for adult wigs. They sell it and use the funds to further the project. You just have to grow it to 7" and many places will cut it for free for the donation. A great plug for a very worthy group.
You are a superb writer....I always love all your stories... Thanks for sharing.
I don't know when I've read a better story. I don't give many fives, but you forced one out of me here. This is just superb writing and storytelling. Editing, too. I need to read more by this author.
This was a great story - started with a huge loss moved on to recovery and the discovery of love. The progression was well handled with blocks, misunderstandings, making up, making out and all of the other pieces that go into life together. I'm going to be spending more time reading the other stories that you've written.
I am not sure about this story. They began dating each others so fast and in some way they acted like teenagers. He was 33 at the time but didnt look mature to me.
You are best writer that we have right now. Keep up with your job.
Take care
I'll freely admit that you almost lost me right at the beginning, due to a tragic death happening so quickly in the story. The fact that we weren't even familiar with the principle characters turned me off. So many stories on Literotica have to result in a tragic death to set the scene, and I'm not a fan of that. That being said, it did tie in with a lot of the story, an developed Dara & Julie's characters well. Obviously, I persevered and continued on. An exceptional story! I enjoyed it thoroughly. I'll be reading more of your stuff.
You and Randi's other fans (definitely including me) aren't in love with the grammar or the sentence structure, you're in love with her characters. Even if the writing mechanics were perfect, you wouldn't keep reading after the first page if the characters didn't hold you. We on her team do some polishing and suggesting, and she's kind and humble enough to let us do it and give us credit. But the characters drive the story, and those are all her own. They're already fully developed before I see them: what I do is like cleaning the glass on a great picture so its beauty isn't obscured. I'm completely in awe of Randi, and proud to be part of her team.
I almost missed this because I'm usually cruising Loving Wives, but saw this on the other site, and came over her so I could comment.
"If it was good enough for you, it's good enough for me." - Yeah, I never got the whole "no kissing after cumming in her mouth" thing. I expect her to kiss me after I eat her out, and turn-about's fair play!
"She was smooth and bare, not a trace of hair" - I never got into the totally bald look, especially with someone already so child-like. I'd feel like a pedophile!
"I was shocked. Here was this absolutely gorgeous woman, ripe like a peach, and she'd never had a man?" - She already told him that, so why is he shocked now?
This is the problem with Romance! If this were Loving Wives you'd figure she'd cheat on him while at school,but on the other hand, you DO need some drama!
I don't understand Thanksgiving - why does spending time with Jules preclude spending time with Canyon? Can't the three of them get together?
"Blow off steam" - How about when she comes home for the weekend she blows off some steam with Canyon? I'm sure HE'D like to blow off some steam, too!
"I am definitely, thoroughly spoken for and not interested." - I think that after Dara and Brick, he would be hyper-sensitive to any "entanglements"!
"she looked at me, said 'Nothing'" - One of the oldest cliches,when a woman says "nothing", you KNOW it's "something"!
"Should I propose now, and have a three-year engagement, assuming she said yes? Should we wait, and have some kind of pre-engagement thing in the meantime? Should I just take my chances that she would still want me in a couple of years? Unfortunately, that was one problem I couldn't discuss with Dara, or even Julia." - Has he learned NOTHING?! Of COURSE he should discuss it with Dara! To answer the question, while a three-year engagement isn't out of the question,maybe a better idea is one of two things that I remember from my youth, I don't know if they are still in vogue: One is "going steady"; this basically meant that you were in an exclusive dating relationship. The other is "getting pinned"; this was usually described as being "engaged to being engaged".
It takes a lot to make me misty, but the "Locks of Love" certainly did it!
Fantastic story, 5 BIG stars!
You know, you could make a living with your stories. The last 3 paragraphs made me tear up.
My dear GrandPaM,
Umm, okay, but this is a very difficult request. I never comment on my own stories but I'll make an exception for this. My stories go through a process. I write them and they go to hardaysknight and Saxon_Hart for evaluation and critical review. They may tell me anything from "This sucks and should be thrown away" (more politely than that) to "great story." They tell me what the story lacks or where it needs to be changed. This is like receiving pitching instruction from Nolan Ryan, who also happens to be your friend and likes you. I do a revision and send it to PapaKilo for a first edit. I make changes and send it to Hal for another edit. Make changes and send it to olddave1951 and GeorgeAnderson. They sometimes do extensive revisions. I make changes and it goes to Pixel the Cat, my adopted brother, and the best copy-editor on the planet for a final polish. All the while, I am proofreading myself.
There may be five or more fairly substantial revisions. I feel this would be impractical to post. The site moderators would hate me. If you send me an email, I would be happy to send you the story at each step as a sneak peek as it goes through revisions. I would do that for anyone that wanted to see the process. I only want to do that once, as it seems like a great deal of trouble, and perhaps would affect my numbers for the final copy. (views, etc.) Would this be acceptable? If so, send me an email via my profile page and I'll reply to it. All the best and thanks for reading, Randi.
I don't normally like reading long stories but yours is an exception. For those who criticize it for being too Cinderellaish, life does sometimes work out for the better, even after tragedy.
Randi--Absolutely wonderful story of love and passion, told in your unique style and with your delightful prose. You are unsurpassed as a writer of intense emotion and I, as one who is a sap for "happily ever after", am delighted in the happy ending with which this story concluded. Thank you for sharing your talent and creativity with your readers, giving us enjoyment and fulfillment!
writing a comment on this story. I went out to catch the spelling on a word and erased my comment, which was long and nearly finished. I hit the wrong hot key, I guess, on my second attempt and got completely out of the site. I guess maybe I need to stick to small words and short sentences. Life is like a box of chocolates.
Good read, poignant where it needed to be, practical where it wasn't. I like a happy ending, whether it's here or in the other category. I look forward to your stories and thank you and your "team" for sharing them with me. And me alone, of course. I don't mind the others reading them though. Hooty-hoo.
This is your best work. You have no rival in telling romantic stories. Simply the best writer in this category and one of the best on the site. Your editing team in the best on this site, or storiesonline. This is a writer at the top of her game, practicing her craft. It doesn't get any better than this.
Well done indeed Randi,it's in the romantic section and romantic it was
5 ***** easely
I actually read this on another location , since I only haunt the LW section of Literotica . But that location doesn't allow comments , so I simply had to give you a well deserved pat on the back and a "huge" attagirl!!!
You are definitely one of the greatest talents posting today , and as always , your sex scenes are simply the best ever !
5*'s (my first vote ever in this category )
Just had to finish your story tonight and yes it is 12:49am = 5/26/16 and I am beyond tired but I just had to tell you that this one was one of the best reads I have spent time with in a very long time.!** There are not enough "5"'s to give you !^
Thank you very much and may the Stars shine on you.*
J
Your way with words, feelings, conveying ideas, along with what it is to be passionate...and you do it so well. Thanks for sharing with us again!
Fayetteville, Arkansas - Did they use Dara for the model on the T-shirt?
One of the best I have read in a long time. You just keep wanting more.
Very nice read yet again ... i do enjoy your material, but ill confess that i usually see it first at storiesonline. Look foeward tobreading your future works. My preconceptions about english teachers is being undersexed shrews in too tight shoes and even tighter hair buns is changing for the better.
...some of we fellow writers.
I would ask the favor of you posting a story of yours as a "work in progress". What I mean here is, post the same story multiple times - first in your roughest form, then again after your first blush at finishing it, and then again with your editors and reviewers comments, and then as a final product. What I'm asking to see here, essentially, is the tale of how your marvelous stories *become* such well-told stories. ...and perhaps to see how the editors help you to shape or mold the story into what may be an improved version of your first thoughts on how it should be presented.
My hope with a request like this is to learn more about the process of how you and your editing team work together to craft the types of stories you frequently produce - and at the high level you now achieve so consistently.
I know this is an odd request and that there are some good "How To..." training materials out there, but in my own case, I'm one who seems to learn better by direct observation of the raw facts of a process. So, that is the basis for my humble request to observe your brilliance as a work in progress (and yes, I know that few artists like to see their unfinished works displayed with all their flaws revealed, but that is the very purpose of my request...to view all the warts and observe _the process_ of how you go through the polishing, pruning, and weeding to produce the finished beautiful literary Bonsai as you always seem to do).
I damn fine read, I did feel the urge to sneak a peak at the ending a couple of times but the story held me.
A great way to deal with the guy who thought he could have someone else’s cake so he could eat it. All in all you did yourself proud, a great story and I would suggest to anyone who reads the comments before thinking about reading the story to do so.
I guarantee you will have a smile on your face when your done reading.
I really appreciated the way you handled the guy trying to horn in Dara. The whole story flowed exceptionally well. I get excited every time I see you have posted a story. Thank you for sharing.
Ahaz
Randi, again your talent with the written word amazes. Your skill is equal to that of any published author I have ever read and beyond many. Robin Carr, move over.
Once again I have nothing but the highest praise for your work Randi, I can't even form any coherent review from sheer joy the story has brought me (first thing in the morning). It's such a lovely sight to see you back in your element doing it your way, can't give it anything else but a 5*!
I don't know how to give this anything other than a 5. A huge story by one of the top writers on this site. I agree with everything in the previous comment. I don't know how it could be any better. Imagination, top of the craft storytelling, perfect editing, the hottest sex being written, dramatic tension, a love that overcomes all obstacles, emotion stirring plot, it's all here. There are two writers on this site that excel at romantic stories, blackrandl1958 and dreamcloud. This one belongs in the hall of fame.
Randi, I look for a new story from you every day when the new stories go up. I'm never disappointed, but you have absolutely written one of the best stories I've ever read. I laughed, and cried. The scene in the beginning where he rescued her was just spectacular. The part where she cut her hair and gave it to Locks of Love made me cry like a baby. I was as edgy as he was when she went away to school and when they worked it out I felt relief like they had been my own kids. You have a wonderful ability to get me emotionally involved with your characters.
I love all your stories, but no one can write a romance like you. Your sex scenes are the best I've ever read and the way you develop your characters is just the best. As young as you are, you're a phenomenal talent. I hope you keep writing so this old man can have years of enjoyment. I have to say something about your editors. In all your stories that I've read, I've never seen better editing than your group. It's just flawless. I don't know how you assembled that team, but from the heavyweights to people I've never heard of, they must be quite a group of guys. I'm glad to see you give them credit. Great writing and great editing equals a great story. A five, of course.