All Comments on 'Catfished Catharsis'

I could have swore I put this in the first time category, or in the incest one. Think of this story as wild one-on-one-on-one consensual sex.

Not bad, but far too long.

Quite a good story. It moved with a reasonable speed.

Emotions seemed genuine and true to the typical teen angst (as I remember from way back then, lol). However, you sometimes lost track of who was doing what and used the wrong name and occasionally switched from past tense to present tense, then back again. Distracting. First, the Tinder profile was Anna, then suddenly she's Hannah, just as an example. I'm glad you let them have their HEA.

You need an editor. 5 stars anyway.

About it being the wrong category. It’s a very nice story that would get a lot more interest (and less criticism about length) in the incest/taboo category. You might check if you could re-submit it.

But it's glaringly obvious how much you need an editor, after the 4th page it was very hard to keep reading and the sex scenes beca extremely confusing.

First off, great story. But especially the sex scenes, you have a lot of wrong word choices and tense changes. And you switch the girls' names around several times. I'd also probably put this in group rather than EC.

Great concept and very sexy characters, but your story is a total mess. It's nearly impossible to read at times. You really, really need an editor or like 3 editors to proofread and cut your prose way down. The dialogue is far too wordy and awkward. Sometimes, less is more, and there's countless instances where an overly verbose line or whole paragraph took me out of the story. Some of your dialogue feels like an exercise in tedium, in fact. Your story could easily be chopped down to half its length or maybe even less and it would definitely be sexier and hotter! It took absolutely forever to even get anywhere and the ending oddly feels abrupt, rushed, and unsatisfying.

Poor word choices are nonstop, along with misspelled words, incorrect tense changes, and bad grammar. You make the mistake of wrong names (Anna instead of Hannah, Hannah when you meant Julie repeatedly, etc) so many times that I lost track, which also took me out of the story. The perspective changes are often awkward and don't feel natural. The final sex scene feels very mechanical and not particularly, like the characters barely wanted to be there... or that you were done with the story and rushed along the writing process. This is more nitpicking, but I find it very hard to believe that Julie, a shy, insecure virgin with little sexual experience, would be able to take Connor's large dick without any trouble whatsoever, let alone zero lube. Especially after you repeatedly emphasize how big his dick is. What's wrong with a little Astroglide or coconut oil for a girl's first time with a huge cock? It makes the whole experience more believable and helps orgasms too!

I agree that the category is incorrect too. Group, First Time (since 2/3 characters are virgins), or maybe even Romance is a far better fit than Erotic Couplings, which seems completely arbitrary.

I think this story could be really good and extremely hot, but you badly need to find an editor or two to proofread, cut the story considerably down on its tiring length, and hopefully advise you on proper, genuinely sexy dialogue.

Read all the way through a couple of times, cleaning up as you go;

Then find an editor or 2 before you post again.

A begrudging 5 stars.

A good story! I assume both girls are on the pill. None of them need the complication of a baby. Maybe later after they have all graduated from college, and have jobs.

Thanks for sharing this story with us!

OMG! Don't listen to the Coward Anons. Especially the one that decided to write you a complete book of nothing but complaints; valid or not.

I'm not an author yet for that reason alone. Comments and Constructive criticism are OK.

Before I could submit a story here, the rule would be that you could not vote or comment unless you logged in. That would allow authors to read their commenters stories as well. Possibly you would be able to CONSTRUCTIVLY vote and comment on their works.

As nearly every commenter said though, you should get a proofreader. At the very least read the story, out loud, to yourself. That should take care of most of the typos and missed used words.

I love your stories though, and I don't have any problem with the length.

Thanks again for sharing.

Well... Where to begin?? First - I liked your ideas and storyline - 5 stars for that. Grammar, spelling, correct use of words, etc. - zero stars. I ended up giving you 4, but it really deserved zero.

You say you were an English Lit. major - I find that very hard to believe. My dad was an English Lit. professor, and he would have given you an "F." He always told me that how good the ideas in a paper were was irrelevant if the author couldn't communicate them clearly. Your "Harrowing Halloween" story was even worse - one of the most imaginative concepts I've ever seen on Literotica, but so flawed with errors it was painful to read.

Please don't get offended and go off in a huff - either get an editor to go through your stories, or do it yourself and then re-post them as revised versions. This story, "Harrowing Halloween," and the "Water Park Fun" series could be among the finest on the site if you fixed them up.

Thanks for writing and for (hopefully) taking the criticism in the spirit it was offered.

Overall, I really enjoyed the story. My main complaints would have to be 1) more descriptions! We only got vague descriptions of any of the main characters! I have a better idea of what Anna looked like than I do Rebecca! I didn't find out what hair color Julie had until page 7! 2) The names got swapped around and confusing at times. Sometimes you would refer to Julie or Rebecca and say Hannah, even when they weren't texting. 3) It wasn't entirely obscure, but the party scene could've used more hints at which girl was with him at what part. 4) Some small grammar mistakes, but mostly ignorable otherwise. Hot action, cute story, nice flow. Overall, I'd give this 3.5-4 stars. Primary suggestion, get a proof reader. This could've easily been 5 stars!

Excellent story. The plot, characters, and pacing were all terrific.

This was really good. I wish the girls didn't get off so easily for tricking him and lying to him for so long, they really should have had to earn forgiveness and trust back, but overall it was enjoyable!

Freaking awesome! 5 stars.

I really wanted to like this, but the continued use of the wrong name when referring to Anna / Hannah / Julie / Rebecca was incredibly distracting and frustrating.

Very romantic and hot.

I've read four stories so far. All had one thing in common. A triplet, two girls and a guy. And the guy and one of the girls is a virgin, and the other girl is a little more experienced. She acts as a teacher and association. And of course their relationship is full of mutual love. A perfect combination.

I've had experiences with threesomes, but without mutual feelings of all three for each other, it only gets in the way of pleasure.

Otherwise, I think this kind of harem relationship is the right one. Nature itself advocates it. More girls are born than boys ;)

Fantastic story in need of another chapter, but still a 5+ rating.

I want another chapter to find out how they ended up years later, but mostly just to read more of their sextapaids. :-)

Bill S.

So, to sum this story up, Rebecca is a greedy cunt that want both step siblings and don’t care about how that happens and who she hurts in the process, Julie is a mean bitch that care only about her self and her bff, and after several years of tormenting Conner and making him feel unwanted in his new family, she decided that it was ok to expand on the emotional torment, for her own fun.

Conner is a moron and a tool with no self respect what so ever, this makes him an easy target for the two girls and their games and then he forgives them in the end???

Lastly, we have the parents, whom aren’t present in the home at all, how can Julie’s mother and Conner father NOT know how Jolie is treating Conner and do nothing? Either they are the shittiest parents around, or they are blind. There is no sibling love and bringing in Rebecca into it, doesn’t help at all. Both girls still wants to use Conner and he lets them, very weak and sad to be honest.

[01.08.22]

Tres Hawt!

11/10 Hannas!!!!!

Good story minus the fact that you seemed to forget which character was which.

Julie-stepsister

Rebecca-stepsister's friend

Hannah-fake girl

Anna-pictures used for fake girl