Chanel Awakens Me from Myself

Drunk and aroused like never before, I let myself go, my hands clutching her arse, her cheeks filling my hands with her wildly convulsing flesh. I was lost myself, the music and the wild bodies around us urgent and wild.

As the music slowed, it was Chanel who grabbed my hand and led me back to our table. As the gang all started laughing and chatting, Chanel led me away to the ladies. There was a queue, and as we stood in line, she whispered, "I thought I better rescue you. Geena can get a bit wild."

"It's okay, I was enjoying it."

She gave me a funny look. "You realise she's gay, right?"

I giggled mischievously. "I sort of got that, yeah. She's pretty wild."

She gave me a soft appraising stare. "And, you're okay with that?"

Realising she was asking if I was gay, I choked a little. "The dancing was fun, and liberating. I loved it, but I wasn't going to do anything else."

She nodded. "Lou, be careful. Geena is one of my closest friends, but she has no filter and knows no boundaries. I saw the way she looked at you. She thinks you are interested."

Stunned, I gushed embarrassed. "Oh shit, really? Oh god, now I feel terrible. I didn't mean to give her the wrong impression."

Chanel giggled, "Don't panic, she gets like that about everybody, I thought I better warn you. She might get a bit handsy later. She gets worse when she's drunk."

She wasn't wrong. As the night progressed, the dancing got more and more erotic, and her hands were everywhere. I wanted to say something, but couldn't think of anything that wouldn't offend her. I liked her, and this was the most fun I'd had in over a year. Plus, it wasn't awful, in fact, I was getting turned on, my mind spinning back to the other night...

Luckily, or maybe it was unluckily. Geena found a new target, and as I watched them making out, I was a little envious. When Chanel turned up on my shoulder, we both stared. She giggled. "See, no filter, no boundaries. She's a free spirit."

"Wow, free spirit is putting it mildly. She looks like she's having fun, though, so good on her."

"Oh hell yes. I wasn't being mean. I only warned you because I know what she's like. I didn't want her to scare you off on the first night. We aren't all as wild."

"You couldn't scare me off. This has been an amazing night. God, so much fun."

When her arm circled my shoulder, and she kissed my cheek, I became a little light headed. The feel of her luscious boob pressing against my back wasn't helping. Oh my god, what was I thinking? Luscious boobs. I giggled nervously. They were luscious, though, and they did feel wonderful pressing against me.

The taxi ride home was fun. I shared with Caroline and another girl who lived out past me. We laughed and joked the whole way.

With the door shut, I slumped lazily into the big armchair in the lounge, the darkness embracing me. It was warm and somehow soothing. My head spun with the different emotions. Ryan's face emerged through the mist. Ah my sweet man, why weren't you home with me... Why? I missed him so, but as I closed my eyes again, the lingering aroma of, Chanel's scent, which had permeated my clothes, assaulted my nostrils.

Chanel, her image burned into my psyche, her cute little giggle, her laughing eyes. In such a short time, she had become so important.

We had lots of girls nights. The girls all came around home. We had dinner parties, barbecues, and Bronny loved having the girls around. Chanel, as well, fell in love with Bronny; she loved it when we all had a day out in the weekends, and we went on all-day shopping expeditions.

Chanel became a big part of my life, and she helped take the edge off my dying marriage. She listened, hugged me, consoled me, spent hours on the phone with me. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was falling in love...

Ryan finally returned. It had been nearly eight weeks since his last visit home. When he finally walked in the door, Bronny jumped into his arms, and he swung her around in his arms, doing the helicopter thing. "Wow, you're so big." He laughed with her.

It was nice seeing him show her the love. He dug out of his bag a big green fluffy dinosaur he brought for her. She yelled loudly, loving it. They kissed and she ran off to the bedroom. We walked into a big cuddle, and kiss. His lips, urgent and insistent, his tongue demanding. "Oh god I love you." He sighed softly.

"I love you too, Ryan. God, it is good to have you back." Dinner was warm and friendly. Mum and Dad came around, and we made it into a big family dinner.

It was a bit like old times, there was some real warmth. He and Dad went into the lounge and drank whisky that Ryan brought through customs. They were having a great old time. Ryan got a bit drunk, though, and started swearing like a real Ocker, and that annoyed Dad. I noticed the change immediately, but Ryan was in the groove and just kept getting louder, and coarser, spoiling the lovely vibe.

To try and save the moment, I cried out, "Ryan, can you put Bronny to bed please?"

He wasn't happy, but relented. Dad got up and said, "It's getting late, we should go."

Ryan seemed grumpy; he'd lost his drinking pal. With Bronny in bed, his happy mood returned and I wondered if it might be the right time to talk about giving up the fly in fly out thing. Wow, what a mistake. He flew of the handle. "Fuck you, Lou, we were having a great night, why bring up all that shit again? I'm not giving up my job."

"Then, you better get your head around being a divorcee. I'm not putting up with being a solo mother much longer."

He shook his head. "I don't know what you want from me anymore, Lou. We're finally in a great space, the mortgage is all but gone. With the money you throw in from the salon, we are making so much money. I was going to suggest we buy a couple of investment properties."

"No, Ryan, I'm not doing anything that extends this hell. I gave you six months, that got stretched to another year, but once that date click's over. I expect you back here at home. If you don't want to live with me, I'll find somebody who does."

He snapped. "Fuck, why can't you bend a little, why be so fucking intractable? All this shit about giving up my fucking job. Look at the bank balance, Lou. We have never been better off. What say we take a holiday, go somewhere great, Vietnam or something?"

I nodded, "A holiday would be nice. If you can get in touch with your boss, then I'll organise some cover at the salon. We could make use of the time before Bronny starts school."

He looked shocked. "What, no not right now, baby. I was meaning in a couple of months. We are really kicking arse on the project. I couldn't get time off at the moment if I tried."

"Ah, well, once you come back home, we can start to schedule proper holidays."

He threw his hands in the air. "Fuck this shit. I'm fucking trying here, Lou."

"You don't have to swear, Ryan. Your mates at work might like it, but I don't. I'm sick of your vulgar verbal diarrhoea."

"I can't win with you at the moment. Everything I suggest is wrong. I drink too much, swear too much. I've just about had it."

"Yeah, me too," I muttered angrily in response. "I'm just about done."

He stormed off in a huff. He slammed the front door as he yelled something back at me. I went to bed angry and frustrated. He came in at some hour stinking of beer and cigarette smoke. I ignored his attempts at intimacy.

Things were cold around the house, so when Chanel called inviting me for a girls night out on Friday, I grabbed it gladly. When I got home, I said. "You can babysit tonight can't you?"

He gave me a quizzical glance. "Why?"

"I'm going out for the night."

"If we rang your mum, she might have Bronny and we could go out together."

"No, not tonight. This is a girls night out. You can have a nice night in with Bronny. It'll be good for her to see some more of her dad."

He didn't look that impressed when I appeared wearing my sexy little navy dress. Maybe I did it to irk him, I don't know, but when I looked in the mirror, I was happy. I did look nice.

I gave him a warm kiss good night, adding. "Don't wait up, I might be late home."

What a fabulous night it was. We went to Ivy's, and they had a sensational Latin funk band that absolutely rocked. We danced like crazy women. We drank too much, Chanel going out of her way to lift my mood. She picked up on my gloomy mood, and her and Caroline kept my glass full and my spirits high.

When I staggered in the door at about two in the morning, Ryan was in bed already. I tried not to wake him, but he was waiting in prey. He jumped me, making the most of my horny mood. Oh well, I was horny, and sex would be nice. He was on fire, ravaging my naked flesh. He was a man on a mission. Thankfully, I was already worked up and horny. Having Geena rubbing her sexy body all over me did the trick.

The next few days were better, the sex did help, but there was still a frustrating abyss between us.

Chanel loaned me her shoulder to cry on. She understood, and was welcoming and warm. When I told her about our arguments, she just held me in her beautiful arms. When we were like this, everything else seemed to vanish. With Ryan gone, she came around when she could, we went out for lunches, she sometimes stopped in late at night after her shift at the TV station was complete.

Saturday, we went shopping. Bronny loved it, dragging us both by the hand to her favourite shops. With, Chanel's encouragement, she had become quite the little fashionista. She loved shopping and loved putting on little fashion shows for us at home. The fact, Chanel spoiled her rotten made her Bronny's best friend.

We got back home and, Bronny wanted to bake cookies. Chanel was, as always, keen to do anything that Bronny wanted to do. We had our glasses of wine while we baked, chatted and listened to Bronny making up funny stories as we went.

By the time the cookies were done, we had already finished a bottle and things were getting giggly. The house was light and day different. Having Chanel around, was just so lifting. I felt my spirits soar, although, having ice cream and cookies for dinner was naughty.

After we cleared up and the sugar rush evaporated, Chanel took Bronny off to bed, read her stories for ages. When she finally came out, I had a couple of margaritas ready. We sat in the lounge, curled up on the sofa. Chanel played some music from her playlist, and we sank back in relaxed comfort.

We started talking about Ryan and what I could do to bring him back from the edge. I couldn't help it, even having her comforting arm around me, the tears started and I couldn't stop them.

She pulled me against her, my head resting on her shoulder. "Don't cry, babes, shush. There's no need for tears, it'll all work out."

"I don't know, Chanel, he has changed so much. He used to be the most amazing caring man. He loved nothing more than spending time with Bronny and me. Now he doesn't even seem to care. All he wants to talk about is money and how we can make more."

"Have you tried getting his parents to talk to him?"

"Yes, his and mine. His mother is disgusted with him. She gave him quite the telling off. It was like water off a duck's back. He laughed it off, and said silly old bat. His father got stuck into him as well."

As the tears rolled down my cheek, she reached up and brushed them away. "Let it out, babes. Go on, if it helps I'm here."

She tilted my head back and as my eyes bulged, her lips slid over mine. The soft sexy velvety smooth feel of her soft full lips stopped my tears in a flash.

My heart pounded as my mouth opened to receive her tongue, which slid slowly inside. My eyes closed and her soft warm skin rubbed on mine. I opened widely, my head tilting to make it easier. God, her mouth was so... so... Yummy.

Her tongue swirled softly, it wasn't forceful, it was a gentle caress, her breath mingling with mine, her lips, succulent, moist juicy, full, ripe. I felt my arms curling around her head, pulling myself into the kiss, her breasts crushed against me, her hips rubbing my own.

Oh, the kiss, what a kiss, ice cream, the salty margaritas, the wine, all the flavours infusing the sweet sensations. My heart was pounding crazily. We sat back a little, our eyes fixed, our noses rubbing, as she breathed, ever so lightly. "Lou, I..."

"No, don't speak, please, don't spoil the moment."

"Lou, I have wanted to do that, for a long time."

"And I have wanted it for longer."

She seemed shocked. "You did?"

"God yes. I didn't realise it until just then, but god yes, I have wanted that."

Her mouth closed off any chance of protest, those beautiful full succulent lips. How could they be so soft, yet so firm? She sucked my top lip into her mouth, her little teeth nibbling playfully. Sensations I never expected, her boobies rubbing against mine. I giggled inside. "Boobies." Oh my god...

Her tongue was purposeful and mischievous. It slid seductively around my mouth, my own tongue curling naughtily around it. Jelly wrestlers, juicy and delicious.

God I was so aroused, so charged, my heart pounded wantonly. My brain turned to mush, much like the rest of my body. I felt that yearning need, deep down in the pit of my stomach, I clenched my thighs tightly, the muscles contorting, my cotton panties sticky and uncomfortable.

Chanel broke the kiss, her lips resting wetly on mine, her eyes opening, peering into mine. "Lou, are you sure about this?" Her cute little button nose rubbed mine. "You have to be sure."

Collapsing against her, my head buried in her neck, I gasped, "No, I can't do it, I want to. God, I really do, but I'm married. God, if I was single, I..."

Chanel sighed. "Yeah, I figured. I have seen all the guys hitting on you, and you always say no. I wanted this, so bad, but I don't want to wreck your marriage. That's not who I am."

Sadly, I purred, "Thanks, Chanel. I appreciate your honesty."

As we sat, I asked, "Are you a lesbian, or Bi, or just..." I giggled in a silly voice, "I don't know, curious? I mean you have other gay friends."

Her face took on a serious expression. "I am a lesbian. I don't promote the fact; I have always been queer, but in my line of work, it is limiting. Forget what people say about there being no discrimination in the workplace. If I did come out, a lot of doors would close. I do still have some ambitions. I would love to be brave enough to tell the world, but I'm afraid."

We slipped back into a hug. "Hey, no need to defend your position. I understand."

She smiled, a warm all embracing smile. "Thanks, so you'll keep my secret?"

"Yes, of course; god I would never compromise our friendship." Trying to lighten the moment, I added. "Anyway, I can't out you without outing myself as a cheat."

We both giggled, the embrace becoming a little warmer, our eyes were fixed, locked. In slow motion we leaned in and our mouths followed our eyes. The kiss, that beautiful sweet sexy kiss.

I didn't want it to end; I wanted her lips on mine forever. It was warm, sweet, intense, loving, and yet so powerful.

Chanel had a lot more will power than me. She broke the kiss again. "Lou, we have to stop."

"Yeah, I know, but... Do we?"

"No buts," she whispered.

We slipped out of each others arms and I struggled to catch my breath. With my breathing back to normal, I wanted to talk, to know everything about her. She started slowly, her whole life story flowed as we snuggled together. Her first experience, her first real love, and of course her heartbreaks.

She had been hurt several times. It was so apparent as her story flowed, her emotions emptied and I felt it, her pain was so deep.

"Lou, it can be hard, the world isn't really ready for openness, and even in the queer community there are some heartless bitches. I have been accused many times of being a lipstick lesbian."

Confused, I asked, "What does that mean?"

She screwed up her face in a contorted sneer. "Oh, it just means, somebody playing at it, you know. Curious, not really gay. The hard-core feminists see me and think because I'm femme, that I'm not real, just fooling around."

"Wow, that seems harsh."

She laughed derisively. "Honey, the queer community has evil bitches, just like the rest of the world."

"But all your friends, like down at Ivy's. They must know?"

She shrugged. "Some do, my closest friends know, but the other girls don't."

Confused, I said, "I always had this idea that the gay community was this big happy family."

She snorted. "Oh, hell no. We can be just as nasty as everybody else. Worse for girls like me. I love everything about being a woman, I'm not into the butch girls. I love being femme, that's who I am."

"Yeah, I get that, but I don't get the terminology. I guess I know what a butch, or dyke is, but the rest?"

"It's not important, Lou, just labels. We have them as well."

As we sat, Chanel asked. "So where does that leave us? I am interested Lou, I would love to take this further."

I saw the pained honesty. "Yes, me too. Being honest, I have had these feelings, including some pretty hot dreams about you. I don't know where they came from, because I didn't know."

She giggled. "Hot dreams, god, if you knew now many times we made love in my head, you would be embarrassed. Maybe subconsciously you picked up on it. We are intuitive. I had a feeling, a vibe you exude."

"Maybe, but I have to sort out Ryan. I do love him; he has been my whole life. I can't walk away from that. He's Bronny's father."

"That is true, and I don't want to wreck your marriage."

"What did you want, Chanel? Was it just a one time thing?"

"No, god no. I can't explain it Lou, I'm so attracted to you, and I love Bronny. I want more than just a little fling. I'm sick of going home to an empty apartment. I want real love, attachment.. I want to wake up in my lovers arms, kiss goodnight, feel her heartbeat on mine. I want the whole package, the good times, and the bad. Whoever is unlucky enough to end up with me is in for a shock. I can be a bitch, a real bitch, and I have claws," she said jokingly, holding up her perfectly manicured painted nails.

"I don't believe you," I whispered in reply.

"Oh, don't even go there, babe. I can be a class A bitch. Ask my producer."

"We'll see I guess. Are you going to stay tonight?"

"Should I?"

"Yes, I would love to know what it feels like to sleep with a superstar, although sleep is what we will be doing."

It was wonderful having her in my arms, snuggling, kissing. We didn't do more than that, but closing my eyes with her in my arms was heaven sent. I loved it.

Bronny woke us by bouncing on the bed. "Mummy, you had a sleepover."

I grabbed her and dragged her down into a cuddle. "Yes, naughty Chanel had too much to drink, so she spent the night."

Chanel, now awake, tickled Bronny. "I was so naughty."

"Yes, you were, she is my mummy."

"Oh baby, can't we share her?" Chanel giggled.

With a deep scowl, her brows heavily arched, Bronny sighed. "I suppose, but only if I get to cuddle as well. Sleeping with Mummy is my job. She said she needs me to keep her company."

"We can both keep her company, Bronny. I wasn't trying to steal her away."

Bronny sat up with her arms folded. "I know."

Breakfast was fast, and we all had to rush; dropping Bronny off at daycare and rushing in to the salon.

It was a long day, my mind a constant turmoil. I was in deep lust. All I could think about were the kisses, the feel of her body, the sweet torture. I had never looked at other women, never contemplated kissing or having sex.

God, sex, what would we do? I giggled, fingers, of course we would do that. Oral, yes, definitely oral. The thought of it raised lots of questions. How, what would I do? Just because I was familiar with the plumbing, didn't mean I knew what to do with it.