Changed Redux Pt. 07

Tuya never forced anyone to join her army, that was not her way nor did she believe it was the will of her goddess. But giving a scared woman confidence, that was something she could do, and do so easily.

Tuya glanced down at her finger to the smooth metal ring on her finger, the magical ring that was gifted to her by her goddess, Ama-Ahrus, the Goddess of Women. With the power granted to her by her Goddess, Tuya could literally change any person into what she wished them to be. She could make the most cowardly, sheepish woman into a fierce, fearless warrior of unparalleled skill with merely a thought.

But such easy transformation was not in Tuya's character. She believed that all beings must learn to fight for themselves, that skill in battle was earned, not given. That if she gave a woman great martial skills without them being earned through hard work and sacrifice, then that person was not truly a warrior but rather just a puppet of the magic and such a being could never be trusted.

The other danger, or so Tuya believed, was that a person who acquired power with no sacrifice of their own risked becoming arrogant and selfish. They would expect more great things to be handed to them because that was what had happened in the past. It was only through all the hard work required to gain great skill that the person would, by default, learn a great deal of discipline and humility.

But if Tuya couldn't just turn all her women into warriors, into expert sportswomen and masters of the bow at a thought, what she could give them was courage. The courage to take up the sword, to stand up and fight for themselves, the courage to become their own masters. Those that came forward on their own, she took without question. Those that hesitated, she looked in the eye before deciding to use her powers on. None were ever forced or coerced, it had to be their choice ultimately.

Tuya glanced at Gan again. So, if it was so easy to give a woman courage, why hadn't she done it with Gan? She had made the young woman come around by herself, to gain her own courage and make her own stand. Why? Tuya didn't know but she wondered if it was at the prompting of the Goddess or, she grimaced inwardly, if it was something selfish within herself.

Whenever she looked at Gan in those first few weeks Tuya had felt something stir deep in her core. A need, a longing, to be closer to this quiet, self-reliant young woman. Something in Tuya wanted to see Gan succeed on her own, without the help of magic.

She looked again at Gan riding along to her side and once again felt a stirring low down inside. "I desire this woman. But why?" She said softly to herself.

"It is not as if you have not had many women as lovers before?" A voice spoke into Tuya's thoughts.

"It is not the same, Marcellene," Tuya said to the ancient Priestess that resided within the ring she wore. A Priestess of the same Goddess Tuya now worshiped.

"Why not?"

Tuya sighed in irritation. Marcellene had been her constant companion, confidant, counselor and even lover since she had first put on the ring last year. In the proceeding months, the ancient and immensely learned woman had guided her along her path, pointing out dangers and opportunities, acting as her teacher, mentor and also, somewhat annoyingly, her conscience.

"She is different."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"That is an excuse, not an answer."

Tuya sighed again, fighting and losing the battle to keep her lips from curling up in a grin. "You can be quite vexing at times, do you know that my friend?"

"So I have been told on many occasions." Marcellene said and Tuya could practically hear the smirk in her voice as well. "But my question to you remains unanswered."

Sighing in resignation, Tuya said, "There is something about her that draws me. She is so strong and yet so fragile as well." She hesitated then said quietly, "I do not wish to hurt her."

"And you think caring for her will hurt her?"

"No, I think she has been hurt for so long that she no longer knows what it is like to have someone care for her." she paused then said, "Or to care for someone else in return."

"So what will you do?"

"I will try and show her that caring is not a bad thing."

"You could just take her. Make her care for you with your will." Marcellene said, referring to the magic that Tuya controlled through the ring.

"No," Tuya said flatly. "You know me better than that, my friend. It would feel hollow and she and I would be the lesser for it."

"I know, my Chieftess. I only offer it because it is my duty to offer you alternatives."

"I know my friend, but I will never stoop to that level. I need to help her and will win her affections honestly or not at all."

"Is that what you want? Her affections?"

It took Tuya a moment to realize what she had just admitted aloud. When she did she felt her cheeks heat but she said, "I believe...yes."

The fire had burned low and most of Tuya's warriors had singly or sometimes in pairs gone off to their tents or to roll their bedrolls out under the stars. The night was clear and cool but still quite pleasant. It would be frigid by morning but living on the wide open steppes had made their people hardy and practically immune to cold.

As was her custom, Gan sat back a ways from the fire, seemingly content to meld into the shadows.

Tuya had been keeping an eye on the younger woman for several nights now and noted how she didn't shun the camaraderie about the fire, she just didn't appear to know how to join it. On a few occasions Tuya had tried to get her to come closer but the woman always refused, sometimes sinking back even further into the shadows.

This had led Tuya to try another approach. She had gone to sit with her on the pretext of bringing her something to eat. Gan had gratefully accepted the food then watched silently as Tuya sat down beside her to watch the fire from a distance.

After a few long moments of silence, Tuya finally spoke. "I think the Archer is my favorite of the Gods in the Heavens." She said, pointing up to the huge expanse of stars glimmering over their heads. She pointed to a cluster of stars, tracing the general shape of the warrior her people had long imagined pictured there. "That was the one I always looked up to as a child. I always loved the bow and wanted one day to become a great enough marksmen to be noticed by the gods." She laughed softly. "Seems a little silly now."

"No," Gan said softly, looking over at her. "I think a lot of children wish for something similar. I think even many adults still wish for the same things. To be recognized, to be valued, to have your work noticed."

"Do you feel you are noticed?" Tuya asked.

"Here? Some I suppose but I am, after all, just one of many." Gan shrugged.

"Pah!" Tuya spat out. "Some? You are the greatest marksmen among us. You could teach the Archer himself a thing or two about the bow. All here recognize that."

Gan blushed and looked away. "I do not need any recognition."

"Then what do you want? Why do you ride with us?" Tuya asked gently, curious to see what this quiet yet compelling young woman would say. After a long pause when Gan didn't answer Tuya, thinking perhaps that even a gentle push was still too hard for this quiet woman added, "It is ok if you do not wish to tell me..."

"No." Gan interrupted. "It is just... I..." She looked up at the stars. "I just... all I ever wanted was freedom. To ride, to hunt, to just... be whatever I wanted to be, go where I wanted to go. But now..."

"Yes?" Tuya prompted.

"Perhaps... no." Gan abruptly looked away and started to get up. "I need to get some rest..."

"No, please." Tuya grabbed her arm gently and pulled her back down. "I am sorry, I did not mean to pry. Please stay..." She hesitated, then added, "I enjoy sitting with you, talking with you."

Hesitantly, Gan sat back down and after a few heartbeats said, "I find I enjoy spending time with you as well. That is a... a new experience for me."

"You never enjoyed anyone's company before?"

Gan looked down again. "Not in a long time. Not since my family was killed and I was taken years ago. I was a wife only in name to my husband. He beat me daily and his other two wives were little better. To the rest of the clan, I was a slave, nothing more."

Hearing the pain in Gan's voice, Tuya said, "I'm sorry."

Gan looked up, genuine surprise on her face, "Why? You released me from all that. I owe you a debt I can never repay."

"You owe me nothing. I merely gave you the power to free yourself."

Over the next few days, the women talked more regularly, often deep into the night. Tuya gradually felt her connection to the woman deepening to the point where she could admit to herself that she felt real affection for her, maybe even more. She found herself making excuses to ride next to the smaller woman and talk with her during the day. She was also finding that her dreams were starting to fill with images of Gan as well and many of those visions left her soaking wet and gasping for breath when she awoke.

The weather abruptly turned on them one day and all Tuya's followers were forced to make a hasty camp after only a few hours of riding. They found marginal shelter in a hollow between hills and made a hasty camp. They hurried to set up the tents, secure supplies and take care of the animals as the storm bore down upon them. The wind picked up with a terrifying power and howled across the grassland as frozen rain began to fall in sheets, cutting like razors as they finally got everything secured.

As the chieftess, Tuya had her own tent, a luxury that she rarely used, but now was a necessity. However, she had no desire to spend the next day or two alone until the storm blew itself out. "Gan!", Tuya yelled above the wind as everyone started taking shelter in the tents.

The younger woman was just about to enter one of the communal tents the warriors shared. She turned to look and seeing Tuya she smiled but then hesitated. Finally visibly making a decision, she trotted over. Tuya held the flap open for her, securing it once she was inside.

While Gan laid out their bedrolls, Tuya set to work making a small fire in the center of the tent. After a short time, the dark interior started to glow with the comforting warmth of the fire as a thin trail of smoke curled up to escape through the hole at the tent's peak. The thick felt walls of the tent did a good job of keeping out the storm and the interior gradually became comfortable enough for the women to shed their heavy fur cloaks.

They ate and sat largely in silence as the storm howled outside. After a time the fire began to burn down and the inside of the tent began to cool. Tuya pulled her heavy fur cloak back out and wrapped it around her shoulders, holding one side up towards Gan. "Sit with me? We will be warmer together."

Again Gan hesitated, this time for far longer. When she finally did move to sit by Tuya, she was stiff and visibly uncomfortable.

Noting the young warrior's posture, Tuya wrapped the cloak about them but did not move any closer to her. After a couple minutes Gan seemed to relax a little and pulled the cloak tighter against the deepening cold.

Into the silence, Tuya asked, "Are you that frightened of me that you lean away from me even as we try to keep each other warm through the storm?"

Gan looked down, her cheeks turning pink in the dim glow of the dying fire. "I am not frightened of you. I just... I don't..." She sighed. "I don't know how to act with someone I... it is... hard for me to... to get close to someone."

Wanting to make her more comfortable and also hoping to get more knowledge of what made Gan into the woman she was, Tuya said gently, "Getting close to someone, caring for someone, is not hard, it is not even something you need to learn. It just happens. So how could you say you do not know how?"

After a long pause, Gan said, "No one has cared for me in many years nor given me any reason to care for them in return."

"I would like to know how this could be. From the little I have heard, I know your story is full of pain, but I would like to know you better. Will you tell me?"

Another pause, far longer this time filled the space between them until finally, Gan nodded. "I will tell you."

Slowly at first but with growing confidence, Gan related the story of her life up until the moment she first met Tuya.

"Like all here, I was a daughter of a clan of herders. I am told I was quiet and solitary as a child." Gan shrugged, "I suppose I still am. As with most young women, the majority of my time was spent learning the skills that were needed for the clan to thrive. Fortunately for me, my brothers, especially Tarkhan, the eldest, had doted on their little sister and, against the rules, had allowed me to tag along as they trained. I spent many an afternoon with them learning the art of marksmanship and horsemanship. As I got older, my brothers gradually stopped humoring me, especially once I started beating them in contests." Gan showed one of her rare smiles the memory before continuing. "Still, even after they stopped practicing with me, I had continued to practice on my own, mostly in secret."

Gan took a deep breath, paused then continued. "It all ended in the eleventh year of my life with a raid one night by a rival clan. In the span of just a few minutes my entire family was gone." She visibly swallowed before going on. "In fact, most of my clan was wiped out and... and I was taken."

"I was claimed by Chuluun, a warrior from the rival clan. He was a skilled fighter but also a brutish man over twenty years my senior. He claimed me as his property and took me as his third wife."

Gan reached down and picked a strand of grass off of the woven mat they were seated on. She twirled it in her fingers for a moment while Tuya watched the firelight dancing in her dark eyes. Finally, Gan tossed the grass into the fire and continued. "For the last seven years, that man beat me almost daily at the slightest provocation. A few times he beat me to within a handsbreadth of my life." She swallowed hard then said softly, "Over the years, I had become pregnant twice. His beatings caused me to lose the children both times. That only enraged him all the more. He blamed me of course, and beat me even more savagely."

Feeling a lump rising in her throat Tuya started, "Gan, you don't have to..." but Gan cut her off.

"No. I need to tell you my story. No one... I... I would like someone to know. I have no family, no one left to tell of my life. If something were to happen to me, I would like someone to know of me. To remember me."

Tuya smiled at that and nodded. "Very well. If that is your wish then I will listen."

Gan gave another faint smile then continued. "My days were spent in almost constant drudgery. As a slave, I did much of the manual labor for the clan. Preparation and preserving of food, making and mending clothes, tanning leather, tending the animals and helping to care for the clan's infirm. My only real enjoyment in life had been on the rare occasion when I could steal away from the village for a short while and practice with the bow." She smirked a little at the memory.

"You still were able to use the bow?" Tuya asked in surprise.

"Yes, I managed to retrieve Tarkhan's, my brother's, bow after he was... they all were... killed. I crept away one night right after I was captured and went back to where my own clan had been massacred clan since we were still camped quite close. The bow was about the only thing that remained of my family that I could recognize. Everything else was burned. The bow had only survived by luck. I managed to keep it hidden, bundled in the center of the firewood in the cart. Since I did most of the fire tending, I was able to keep it secret for some time but like all secrets, it eventually got out. The beating Chuluun gave me when he found out... it..." Gan shuddered and hugged herself for a few seconds, "I thought he was going to kill me that day. In a way, I longed for it. For it all to finally be over. But it was not to be. Rather, he just gave me this," Gan said, gesturing at the long, pink scar that ran from her left ear across her cheek to her chin.

Tuya studied the long scar and said, "The coward turned a blade on an unarmed woman?"

"No. He struck me with the broken end of my brother's bow after he smashed it. It serves as a constant reminder to me of his cruelty. Of everything he took from me."

"It was then that I almost gave up completely. Every night I considered stealing a blade and ending my life. Virtually every night for years. But something kept me going. Some kind of... prayer? Dream? Hope? I don't know." She shrugged self consciously and pulled the robe tighter about her shoulders as if shielding herself.

Finally, she continued. "Then, about a year ago, I had begun to hear whispers about a new tribe of warriors, a tribe that was crossing the plains and looking for new riders, a clan that was led... by a woman." Gan turned to look at Tuya, her eyes full of emotion and admiration. "You."

"I am nothing special..." Tuya began, herself feeling suddenly self-conscious. "I...

"Yes, you are. You are a warrior. A warrior woman and a Chieftress." Gan smiled at her. "That has never happened before. And more, all your warriors are women as well. I remember hearing that this warrior chieftess was building her own army and that one day she may even take on the Khan! How wonderful it would be, I had dreamed, to be a part of such an army, to ride across the plains and not have to answer to anyone. But as the months passed, the idea seemed to become less and less real to me. It was just rumors and a dream. What little hope the idea had kindled in me faded and with it any thoughts of actually seeing this warrior chieftess."

Gan looked to Tuya and again with her dark eyes and that shining admiration was reflected in their depths, "But then one day you actually appeared. You and your army had actually ridden into my village. I couldn't resist the urge to sneak out and see this great leader of women. My husband had told me that under no condition was I to even look at those women while they were here. Despite what he wanted, I had to see these women, these strong, independent warriors who answered to no man and could ride and fight and live free on the plains." She looked at Tuya. "I had to see you."

"Once my husband left, I snuck out of the tent and circled around behind the other tents to the village center. I tried to stay out of sight, especially of any of the village men. I know a few people saw me but thankfully no one said anything. When I got close I could see a band of maybe a hundred women all on horseback. Each was armed with bow and swords or spears. They all looked so strong and confident as they talked and joked. They were completely unlike any women I had ever seen before.

"I was standing there, studying the warrior nearest to me when one of the other women spotted me lurking in the shadows. She gestured and called me over but I hesitated." Gan blushed and looked down. "I was frightened. I desperately wanted to meet these women, to talk to them, to find out what it was like to ride with them but I also did not want to get another beating at the hands of my husband."

Gan picked at the ragged edge on the fur wrapped about her shoulders. "It was then that I was spotted. A few of the clan's own warriors, all men, of course, were standing a short distance away." Gan looked at Tuya and smiled, "I remember they were all armed but had looked quite nervous and very wary of the mounted woman. No wonder considering they were easily outnumbered them by maybe four or five to one. Then I realized that Chuluun was among them. He had turned at the sound of the warrior woman calling and spotted me."