Charmaine's Meaningful Affair

Earl would call and said, 'I'm sorry you are up to your neck in shit. I did warn you. I feel obliged to stick with my wife and kids. Sorry. But if you'd like a length now and again give me a call and I'll think about it. You fuck pretty well actually.'

Douglas would say at the meeting with attorneys: 'Let's agree on the value of our joint assets and split down the middle. The kids have decided to go with you. You sign an agreement you will be their sole provider and I will sign a statement renouncing my right to claim any of your independent income.' She would say, 'Thank you Douglas. That is very honorable of you. I'm glad your old clients came back to you after reading in the Sunday papers you were divorcing me because your found my attitudes towards adultery were totally reprehensible making you an unfit person to associate with.'

Swishing the bathwater Charmaine to begin thinking about her next book. She was horrified... her mind was blank.

CHAPTER 3

Charmaine waited, fingers mentally crossed for Grace to call, hoping school principal Miss Roberts would have come through for Grace.

The first call was a wrong number, giving Charmaine a real taste of stress. The second was Grace. She sounded exhausted.

"Darling, I'm so, so sorry," Charmaine said, well aware that her commitment to her book had cost her marriage but worst still had split the family. She could have written about field mice.

"Don't be. Daddy is the one at fault. What he's doing is his choice. Didn't he possess the courage to stand up for us?"

Bewildered all Charmaine could say was, "What?"

"Miss Roberts didn't say that to me but she counseled me in such a way so I decided to think like that."

What? Since when did Grace learn the meaning of a word like counseling? Her thin, mousy-haired daughter should be feeling cut off at the knees, wanting her mother to come and take her away from school where it had become hell for her.

"After Miss Roberts and I talked she served coffee and cakes for six and called in my five best friends and left us. My friends said Miss Roberts said nothing to them at all beyond the words, 'Grace needs you'. I told my friends what was happening. They were disgusted at what is happening to you and the loss of my father and we locked hands and swore we'd stand by each other now and for eternity."

"I-I am very glad for you. I'll come for you in the m-morning," Charmaine said, fighting back tears, feeling relief flowing.

"Whatever for?"

"You need me."

"What? Don't you think the boot's on the other foot mother?"

Charmaine shook. Christ here was her daughter sounding stronger than she was, a kid of seventeen.

"No I'm fine. I carry stress well but it will relieve me to hear you talking to me in this manner."

"It's easy for me mother. It's called growing up."

"Did Miss Roberts tell you that?"

"In a manner of speaking. All she said was it was my chance to stand up. Perhaps it had arrived early but I was faced with hearing the call and what I did with it would be my choice and I should think very carefully. I think I fully understood what she meant, sort of."

Grace sniffed and said, "I heard on the arts program on radio while waiting to see Miss Roberts that your book that is being described as a runaway success has already passed one million in sales including confirmed sales awaiting new stocks to arrive. Your publisher has contracted four other printing plants to output copies. Mommy I am so very, very proud of you. I don't care a damn what's in the book. You've done what you wanted to do and have exceeded your ultimate goal."

Mother and daughter burst into tears.

When the call ended Charmaine thought about that call, a phone call she'd remember for the rest of her life. She then thought of her big girl listening to an arts program on radio. What was happening here? Young people were supposed to listen to awful music in their search to be the vanguard of a new music cult.

Half an hour later, feeling hungry but with no food in the kitchen that appealed to her Charmaine thought fleetingly she wished she had friends, er real friends like Grace. Minutes later she opened the door to a knock and it unfolded before her like fiction. In barged her best friend from college Claudia, holding her unexpected late baby Sam of eight months in a sling against her belly and hauling a big travel bag on wheels.

"Claudia!"

"Charmaine," screamed back Claudia and wee Sam was not at all upset. Well he would be used to his outrageous mother screaming at times, wouldn't he? "I've come to be with you. You must be going through hell."

Charmaine reeled and began a free release of tears. Miss Claudy had come almost 3000 miles to be with her in case there was need.

The two adults and sleeping Sam arrived back from the restaurant to find (to their knowledge) the only two committed lesbians of their college friends, Paula and Di-Di (Dorothy), asleep against the apartment door, weary after their 600-mile drive.

Three days later the three visiting friends, those true friends, felt confident enough to return to their homes, leaving Charmaine to get her life back. Other people were dropping in or phoning, men as well as women. Di-Di had been with Charlie (Charmaine) when the alcoholic-looking elderly doorman had stopped them and apologized for his arrogant behavior and turning away from Mrs Ross (his words).

"Thank you Billy."

"Why didn't you report me; you had every right?"

"Even as a doorman Billy you have every right to show your disrespect."

"I know more about it now Mrs Ross. There are people against you and people for you and I have decided I took the wrong side. Just look at this."

Billy held up the morning newspaper. The book critic that Charmaine always delighted in reading, Patti Romano, had written a story that had been elevated to page three: 'Please Accept Our City's Greatest Writer is Charmaine Ross.' Under that screaming headline was a photo of Charmaine under a hair dryer and having her nails done.

"Oh god what a photo to use," Di-Di screamed in laughter.

"It shows me as an ordinary person rather than some witch," Charmaine said with insight.

It was a great fun photo, taken by Mary-Anne two years ago when Charmaine had accompanied her to a book fair in Vancouver, Canada. Charmaine realized Mary-Anne had taken that photo to Patti and they had discussed what was happening to Charmaine. Mary-Anne had been calling Charmaine each morning since the crisis first flared but had not mentioned she had been speaking to Patti. On the way out shopping Charmaine stopped and brought flowers to be couriered to Mary-Anne with the card just stating, 'Charmaine'.

That was a break-through Charmaine had hoped for but not of the dimension required. Now hope of that coming was fading because the controversy was running out of steam, leaving her with a marred reputation.

But again, just like good fiction, that came. Charmaine could be excused for thinking someone must be watching over her.

"Hi it's Amanda Reeves speaking Miss Ross. I'm director of the National Press Club. I'm aware you have been going through difficult times but I have been deluged with requests from members for you to be invited to address the next Press Club luncheon. The currently booked speaker has agreed to stand aside if you accept because he happens to have read your book to his wife at nights and is disgusted with the way you are being treated."

"Well why not? I would consider that a great honor."

"Then you know how it works?"

"Yes I believe so. I am given thirty minutes to address the club and then follows a question time of up to thirty minutes that can be a real roasting of the speaker."

"Yes, exactly. I'm taping this conversation: Do you accept and may I provide air tickets and an overnight accommodation voucher?"

"Please do. My mind is already searching for a theme to slam my stupid critics."

"Oh Miss Ross, will you authorize me to use that line to publicize your appearance?"

"Please do."

The appearance of Charmaine Ross at the National Press Club was a sensation. The response for seats was such it had to be switched to a larger venue and even that was widely reported in the media.

She appeared on stage in a flaming red dress with horns in her hair and carrying a three-pronged spear.

"Good afternoon. As Charmaine Ross, author, this is how some critics of my latest book see me, apparently as Mrs Devil attempting to destroy the foundations of moral society as we know it. Could one of you kind gentlemen unzip the back of my dress and take my horns and spear?"

Four guys leapt to the rostrum, jostling one another to be first to reach the zip.

The audience watched spellbound.

The dress came off and Charmaine straightened her outfit and picked up her tennis racquet. "My children grew up used to me in this outfit and being coached in tennis by me and my parents and their father who is divorcing me over my audacity to write a book on adultery often attended social tennis tournaments and watched me enjoy occasional success. For some strange reason they regarded me as just an ordinary mom without vices, at least none of which they were aware."

"Funny that. My real friends have been shocked that I was being vilified for writing a book giving advice how to manage an adulterous affair. Further I don't deny I took in a lover to provide a real-time study case to assist my accumulated thoughts and research in libraries about adultery."

"I must point out I don't have bigots for friends. They appeared bewildered that I had generated this antagonistic reaction that became so personal. Even I was surprised although aware I wasn't quite having a cook book published."

"My friends gathered around me, one of the first -- a great friend from college -- coming almost three thousand miles to be at my side. She is very happily married to the same guy she went to the altar with thirteen years ago and brought her eight-month old baby with her. She'd read about the controversy, as had her husband. He said to her go, I'd value her company. Neither of them could understand what the fuss was about. My friend said to me over drinks one night, we have handbooks on everything. All I was doing was filling a gap. Perhaps a naïve comment but then aren't most of us a little naïve?"

"Then my amazing daughter who until this crisis arose I believe I was still guilty of regarding her as a child, although she's now seventeen, discussed her uncertainty about this matter with her very sensible school principal. That wonderful woman apparently explained the issues but did not tell my daughter what to do or think. No doubt the school principal was aware she was talking to a senior student on the cusp of becoming a young adult. My daughter said something to me that I shall remember for the rest of my life and I feel I'll always be able to quote it verbatim for as long as my memory remains with me. She said: "Mommy I am so very, very proud of you. I don't care a damn what's in the book. You've done what you wanted to do and have exceeded your ultimate goal."

"God that was so true and I'd not managed to simplify it to that degree. It told me girl, you've been sideline by a petty issue, get on with your life. And that's what I did and why today I have walked into this lions' den."

"You know folk, I fell into despair and had almost forgotten that we have free speech in this country and cherish that freedom. I regret being beaten down because until now I've never been a loser but I have regained my dignity and my freedom to write what I wish and to express myself how I wish. Bigots can go to hell!"

Charmaine's audience exploded and a standing ovation forced her to stop speaking. She began wiping away tears and photographers rushed up to capture that shot.

When Charmaine resumed speaking she showed steel. "Those of you here to vilify me during question time may be disappointed because I'll not bend my back and I'll not show remorse. Perhaps you will force tears but that's only because I'm an emotional female but I'm proud of that side to me. I understand what is meant by the sanctity of marriage but point out it is simply a belief that one has the freedom to subscribe to or reject in any way they wish. My book is not for those people simply because they don't need to know how to manage adultery. But I'd like to think those people sheltered in their belief to that extent are capable of understanding that my advice to people who chose to commit adultery or are the innocent partner on the other side of adultery might find my book useful to them."

"I must say I really think it's a good read. I enjoyed writing it, researching before I began writing and I really did have a very sexy affair to provide the reality I required. This book is costing me my marriage, but I accept that. My husband had read the second draft and approved of it and described it as wonderfully interesting. But he's in business and clients began walking away from him so he chose his business interests over me. I now accept that. Had I known what was a possibility I would not have written this book and whose loss would that have been? I no longer feel sadden by my divorce now in progress although I feel responsible for the impact this is having on my two children. So far my younger son has been shielded from all this but that won't last."

"Well perhaps I'll marry again and my children will say to me privately one day, Mom, we like this new guy of yours. We can but dream. Thank you."

Charmaine was hugely applauded and the club president, Joanne J. Wellings, a recently returned and retired international war and 'hot spot' correspondent came up to Charmaine and kissed her on both cheeks.

"Well you guys," said Joanne, "This is a record attendance for our club and I wonder why? I suspect it's because this charming woman decided to stand up and go for it, knowing she'd become a tall poppy and would attract critics, not all of them pleasant critics. I have nothing by admiration for Mrs Charmaine Ross and by god we need more women like you."

"You people representing media who have slammed Charmaine Ross by publishing or broadcasting the outspoken comments of bigots might like to take a look of this photo on the big screens. It was published last week in Charmaine's hometown newspaper and was written by a literary critic Patti Romano who discussed Charmaine's plight with the woman who took that photo, Mary-Anne Marshall. As it happens Mary-Anne and I attended the same college, taking media studies and we started in journalism on the same newspaper. I had the hard eye for hard news stories and Mary-Anne had the soft-eye and she left and entered book publishing and today works as commissioning editor for Charmaine's publisher. That soft photo was aimed at opening people's minds to regard Charmaine as perhaps an ordinary female rather than some monster and the wonderful clarity of Patti's story appealed to readers to judge Charmaine for what she is rather than what they think she is by reading and listening to what other people say sums it up beautifully in my opinion. I shall not be surprised if that article is a contender for the supreme award in our national newspaper awards later this year."

"I have read about Charmaine and spoken to people close to her, going right back to the courtship of her parents. I've done this because I intend writing a book that has a working title, 'The Honesty of Charmaine Ross'. This will be the first Charmaine has heard about this," Joanne said, hugging the guest speaker. "Patti Romano, Mary-Anne Marshall and I have combined to set up a Charmaine Ross Fan Club website that launches at 4:00 this afternoon. And yes it will also contain comments from individuals and groups who wish to damn Charmaine but we three sponsors of the website believe her critics will vaporize and not before too long."

"Well that's enough from me. This is your opportunity to grill Charmaine. I'll extend your time to an hour if necessary. Now no soft-pedaling; this is what our club is about."

The journalists represented a full spectrum of the media so the moralistic view was represented in the initial flurry of questions with hard-hitting comments. But that virtually died when newspaper doyen Sam Pilcher rose to speak.

"Miss Ross. I admire you. You have guts and you really can write. Please just give me a yes or no answer. Would you expect journalists who've heard you today to not only seek to address any imbalance their publication may be guilty of about you but to find adulterers who have read your book to publish what they truly think about it?"

"Yes and Mr Pilcher I feel honored to have received that question from you."

"Thank you beautiful lady. I rest my case."

Journalist rose to applaud Sam and thereafter the questions were mainly probes to find out more about Charmaine thought of herself as a person and where she thought her future lay.

One question drew from Charmaine something she'd only been half thinking about.

"Have you a working title for your next book Mrs Ross?"

"Well I could almost say no, but being stimulated by this interchange here today I am deciding right now. It will be called 'How to Manage Divorce'."

"And then?" someone else asked.

"To complete a trilogy I should think. 'How to Find a Great New Spouse'.

"Don't you mean husband?"

"No sir, I have male as well as female readers that will be interested in that journey they may face or have friends faced with taking it."

* * *

The thoughts Charmaine that had in the bath that night, stimulated by whisky, were well on target. Well she thought logically so she hadn't been surprised.

When the controversy died, as they tend to do, Douglas had lunch with her and said he wished to call off the divorce.

"Do that if you wish Douglas but our marriage is finished."

"Oh come on, don't be so tough on me. I reacted for economic survival."

"Yes, no doubt. But you also ran when I most needed you. We can remain friends Douglas but if you withdraw divorce proceedings I will simply commence proceedings to divorce you and imagine how our divorce will drag on."

"I'll give you a week to rethink."

"No Douglas. Tell me your decision now."

He scowled. "I'll let my application proceed."

"Great, now tell me. Who are you fucking? Is it one of my friends because you have little contact with other women."

"Get fucked," Douglas snarled fiercely in a whisper. "By god you are so unsuitable as a wife."

"Well it's taken you a long time to come to that decision. Adios."

Two women at a table nearby came over. "Excuse me," said one. "We think you are the famous author Charmaine Ross."

"Yes I am. Ladies we don't you fetch your wine glasses and come and join me. I'm in the mood for lively conversation and the next bottle is on me."

THE END