Chastity, Maxine, and Me

I suppose it's because I don't have anybody to lose that I have one hell of a problem understanding how anybody loses anybody. They'll sit in the chair across from my desk and tell me how the person they lost track of was the best friend they ever had and they really want to find them again but they don't have a goddamned clue about where the fuck they went.

Now, how in the hell do you lose somebody like that? It's not like one day they're standing there and then just disappear, well, unless you believe little gray aliens sucked them up in their people sucker-upper and took them off to their mother ship for a few rectal exams.

How did the fuck did that get started anyway, the thing with aliens looking up your ass? What would they expect to find up there besides what's really there? Maybe they all have some weird fetish, fuck if I know, but it seems they'd have better places to stick their noses in. Never in my life have I had any desire to stick my nose up some woman's ass. Her pussy, definitely, but not her ass. Well, sometimes my nose ends up in her ass if she's on top of me, but that's not because that's where I put my nose. It's because my nose is where she sat on my face.

People who have supposedly been taken by aliens and had probes shoved up their asses all describe aliens in pretty much the same way. They're short little fuckers with big heads, big eyes, and skinny bodies. None of them are female. Well, they don't seem to be female anyway. I mean, you never hear about a fucking alien with tits, so there must not be any female aliens. Of course, you never hear about aliens having a cock and balls either.

Maybe they're both and don't need to fuck to reproduce. Maybe it just happens, like, one day a little gray baby alien just pops out. I don't know how the little fucker would pop out, though, unless there's something to pop out of, but you never see an alien with a pussy. Since they never wear clothes in the pictures people draw of them, you'd think a pussy would be hard to hide.

I suppose aliens might all be male, and might keep their cocks and balls inside for safe keeping. I mean, getting up to light speed in a flying saucer would stretch your cock and balls more than a two-dollar hooker and probably hurt like hell. It would make sense if their cocks and balls were inside, like a duck's. I always figured a duck's cock was inside so it wouldn't freeze off in winter. That's a hell of a thought, isn't it, you're just walking around eating corn people throw on the ground for you and your cock freezes solid and then falls off?

Anyway, I've never understood why people just up and disappear. Usually when I find them, they had a reason to do that, and sometimes they're not interested in going back. Sometimes the reason doesn't even make sense. I've heard, "Every night it was the same old thing - 'I'll suck your cock and then you lick me and fuck me' -- when sometimes I just wanted to hold her", "Her tits are too little", and "He couldn't understand that I like girls too".

Those are all bullshit reasons, in my opinion. I mean, having my cock sucked isn't my favorite thing in the whole world, but I wouldn't fucking complain about it if I got to lick her pussy and then fuck her every night. I wouldn't want to just hold her either. No man with a set of balls would actually want to do that unless it was gonna lead to the sucking, licking, and fucking later on.

I like big tits on a woman, but after you turn fifty, you pretty much take what you can get, so I'm kinda starting to like little tits. They're fun and sometimes big tits get in the way anyway.

As for that last one, why is it women just can't come right out and fucking say what they want? That's why we invented language -- so people could say what they want. I mean, if she said, "You know, I like licking pussy as much as I like being fucked", I sure as hell wouldn't tell her she couldn't. I'd just go out and buy one of those spy cams and hide it in the bedroom, and then tell her she should invite her girlfriend over more often.

Sometimes the reasons do make sense, like the woman who broke up with her boyfriend and then moved to a different state. When I found her, she said she wasn't going back and she'd sue me if I told her ex-boyfriend where she was. To put it in her words -

"If you tell that little cocksucker where I live now, I'll sue your fucking ass until you have to ask me before you can take a shit. I couldn't feel his little dick in me and he always wanted me to blow him. Yeah, right, like I was supposed to like sucking on something the size of a hot dog. You think he'd do me the same favor? Hell no, he wouldn't. He wouldn't get his tongue anywhere near my pussy. The puny little bastard wouldn't even finger me. Wish he had. His fingers were bigger than his dick."

I thought that was pretty goddamned rude. I mean, it wasn't like I'd asked to fuck her in the ass. I could have understood how that might piss her off, but all I did was find her and tell her her boyfriend wanted her to come back. The other thing was, once I did, I couldn't figure out why the guy wanted her goddamned ass back in the first place.

Melba was no prize. Women classify their bodies like they're fruit. There's the apple, and the pear, the hourglass and the banana. Well, the hourglass isn't a fruit but the rest are. Apples have big tits and little asses. Pears are the opposite with little tits and a big ass. Hourglass women have big tits and big asses, and bananas don't have any tits or asses to speak of. My favorites are the hourglass women, but all women can all be hot. Well, I like my bananas to have at least some tits, but I wouldn't kick any of them out of bed if I could get them there.

Melba didn't really fit any of those. She was more like a dipper gourd. She wasn't fat, well, except for her ass. She was skinny as a rail everywhere else. Like I said before, I don't mind little tits. I do like a woman to have something more than nipples though, and it looked to me like that's about all Melba had.

Now, Wilbur was no prize either. Wilbur was about five feet three and probably weighed in at something around three fifty, so maybe he figured she was the best he'd ever get. After seeing him and then seeing Melba, I had to wonder how they ever fucked in the first place. Unless his cock was about a foot and a half long, it's no wonder Melba couldn't feel it. Mine wouldn't have made it much deeper than her ass cheeks.

Anyway, I don't know how people lose each other. I'm glad they do though because that's a lot of how I earn my living. That's what I was starting to do with Chastity Meadows.

Chastity had walked into my office one afternoon, gave me a little smile, and asked if I ever found people who'd gone missing. I said I'd found several, and she sighed.

"Oh, I was hoping you'd say that. I want to find Maxine."

I decided to get my fee out of the way first. Chastity was wearing pretty simple and really plain clothes, and I wasn't sure she could afford me. I'm pretty cheap as PI's go, but she was wearing regular jeans that were actually the dark blue that jeans are supposed to be and they didn't have any holes. Her blouse was OK, but it was just a blouse with no lace or anything girly.

Most of the woman who come to my office have paid twice as much for their jeans as I pay for a bottle of Glenfiddich even though the jeans look like they've been run over by a Mac truck several times. They don't wear cotton blouses either. They wear those tops that hug their tits and have sparkly shit all over them. Those cost was much as I pay for a carton of cigarettes.

I gave her my best smile.

"I'll be happy to do that for you. My fee is three hundred a day with two days in advance."

"Oh, thank goodness", she said. "I was worried it would be more than that. I brought a thousand dollars with me if you can take travelers's checks. I was afraid to go to an ATM to get the money so I went inside the bank and bought traveler's checks. People get robbed at ATM's all the time, you know."

Well, I'd never heard of anyone in Nashville getting robbed at an ATM, but I suppose it has happened. Every other goddamned thing you can think of has. I told her traveler's checks would be fine. She pulled out her book of checks, signed enough to pay me six hundred, and then handed them to me. I put them in my desk drawer and then picked up my notebook.

"OK, Miss. I need your name, address, and phone number. That's so I know how to reach you when I find your missing person."

"I'm Chastity Meadows, and my address is 2009 South Pinewood. All I have is a cell phone. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, that's all a lot of people have anymore. What's the number?"

She pulled out her cell phone and fished a small card out of a pocket on the case.

"I always forget, so I have to look. It's 615-409-2233."

I wrote all that down and then asked her for the name of the person she was looking for. Chastity grinned.

"Her name is Maxine."

"OK, Maxine what?"

Chastity stopped grinning.

"I don't know her last name. All I know is Maxine because that's all she told me."

I put down my pen.

"Uh...it's gonna be a lot harder to find her if I don't have her last name."

Chastity frowned.

"I was afraid you'd say that. That's the same thing the other detective told me."

"What other detective was that?"

"It was that big detective agency downtown on the second floor of the AT&T building, you know, that one they call the Batman building. He said they could look for her, but it would cost me about ten thousand dollars. He said you take cases like this sometimes, and if you did it, it wouldn't cost me as much."

Well, that would be Bret Peters. His agency doesn't usually tell a potential client they don't want the job. They just price themselves so high the client reconsiders. I can't fault them for that. They're more into tracking down employee fraud and stuff like that for corporations that can afford to pay their fees. I'm glad they exist, because I tend to pick up the business they don't want.

"Well, it might still be possible to find your Maxine. Where did you meet her?"

Chastity wiggled in her chair a little. I liked that. She had a nice ass.

"Two months ago, I had a car accident. It wasn't my fault, but my car didn't have those side airbags things they say you need, so when the man hit the side of my car, I hit my head on the doorframe. It knocked me out so I don't remember much until I woke up in the hospital. The doctor said they had stitched up my cut, but I had a concussion and I'd have to stay in the hospital for a few days so they could make sure it wasn't something worse.

"The first night I was there, I woke up and a woman was standing beside my bed. She told me her name was Maxine and she came to see me and make sure I was all right. I thought she was a nurse. A little later I went back to sleep, and when I woke up the next morning, she was gone.

"I asked one of the nurses if there was a nurse on nights named Maxine and she said none that she knew of. I told her about waking up and seeing Maxine, and she said they'd been waking me up every two hours to make sure I wasn't going into a coma, and I probably just thought one of them was the woman.

"Well, the next night, I woke up again, and there was Maxine by my bed. I asked her if she was a nurse and she said no, she just came back to make sure I got well.

"I know she was there because I talked to her for a long time about a lot of things. We're a lot alike. Both our fathers were ministers and our mothers stayed home after we were born. We both liked to dress up in our mother's clothes when we were little and we both liked the same kind of boys in high school.

"We are different in some ways though. I'm pretty shy, especially with men. Maxine told me she isn't shy at all that way. She said...well, I probably shouldn't tell you this."

I told Chastity I needed to know everything she could remember about Maxine if I was going to have a chance at finding her.

Chastity took a deep breath.

"OK. Just don't tell her I told you or she might be mad at me. Maxine said she likes men and tries to get them to pay attention to her. She said she wants to have men...well, you know."

I stopped taking notes and asked Chastity which hospital she'd been in and if she could give me a description of Maxine.

"If you can give me a description, maybe I can find her on one of the social media sites. Most of the people post at least one picture. What I need is stuff like hairstyle and color, eye color, height, weight, stuff like that. I'll also check the hospital to see if anybody remembers her. If they do, they might be able to give me a better description."

Chastity said she was in Memorial, and all the lights except for a little nightlight were off so she couldn't see Maxine very well, but she thought she was about her size and was pretty sure Maxine had really long, blonde hair. That would make Maxine about five six and somewhere between one twenty and one thirty.

Well, it wasn't much to go on. I was about to tell Chastity that when she said, "Oh, I remember something else. Maxine has a southern accent. It's not like most people's accent. Hers is like you hear in movies about rednecks".

I wrote, "redneck accent" on my note paper and then looked up at Chastity.

"Miss Meadows, do you really want to find this woman?"

Chastity nodded.

"She was there every night I was in the hospital. I got pretty low by the end of the week because I was bored stiff and I don't really have friends who'd come see me. My husband divorced me two years ago and my parents are both gone so they couldn't come see me either. Maxine cheered me up. I want to thank her for that and maybe get to know her better."

"OK. I can't promise anything, but here's what we'll do. I have a couple friends who work at Memorial. I'll ask them if they saw a woman who fits your description any time you were there. I'll also spend a day looking through the social media sites. I'll make copies of all the women named Maxine with long blonde hair, and then I'll call you to come look at them. If I don't find her by then, we'll see if we can figure something else out."

I kind of felt for her after she left my office. I could sort of understand why she didn't have any friends. Chastity seemed like the type of woman who'd be a quiet little mouse around other people. You wouldn't hear much out of her about anything, and might not even know she was there. That her parents were gone was sad too. I'd pegged Chastity at late thirties, early forties. That was too soon to lose your parents.

As for her husband divorcing her, I couldn't understand that at all. Chastity seemed like a woman who'd be very loving with the right guy. She'd be one to bake cookies and always have dinner ready when you got home from work. She was a pretty woman as well. She wore her dark brown hair short and that made her look cute. Her tits and ass weren't cute. They were pretty hot.

I shook the vision out of my head and drove over to Memorial.

Madge Freele is a woman I know at Memorial. Madge works the desk in the lobby, so if Maxine had been in the hospital every night for a week, Madge would have a record of that.

Madge is also a good looking blonde I helped once. She thought her husband was messing around with the woman next door. He wasn't though. Mrs. Rhimes was as innocent as the day is long. Her nineteen year old daughter was home from college for the summer and Teresa was guilty as hell. It always happened on Wednesday afternoon.

Wednesday was the day Mrs. Rhimes went grocery shopping and left Teresa there by herself. Madge's husband worked third shift at one of the factories in town, so he was home in the afternoons too, but Madge was at the hospital. I got the whole thing on video, twice.

Teresa would wait until her mother left and then walk out on their patio in a bikini. The first time I saw her do that, I figured she was just working on her tan. She already had a nice tan, and Teresa was a natural blonde, so that tan looked great.

Their house was built in an "L" and the patio was in the open part of the "L" and faced Madge's house. Teresa sat her suntan lotion and cell phone on the table beside the chaise lounge and then sat down, reached up for the bottle, and started oiling up.

Now, just that made my cock stand up. I mean, I like older women, but Teresa's tits were pretty big for a nineteen year old girl, and her bikini bottoms didn't do much to cover her pussy once she'd spread her legs. Her pussy lips sort of peeked out the sides.

It quickly got worse, well, worse for me because I had to rearrange my cock so it didn't hurt. There's something about a woman rubbing herself that trips my trigger, and Teresa seemed to really like rubbing herself. She rubbed suntan lotion on her shoulders and chest, then inside her bikini bra, then over her flat little tummy, and then her legs.

She saved the best part for last. Once she had her legs done, she slid her hand down inside her bikini bottoms and I saw her fingers moving. By the time she did that, my cock was rock hard and looking for a way out of my jeans.

I figured she was just going to finger herself until she came, but I was wrong. She stopped fingering herself, picked up her cell phone, and then stretched out on the chaise lounge and pointed the cell phone at her crotch while she pulled the bikini bottoms to the side. I saw her tap the screen a couple times, and then start tapping the cell phone with both hands.

About a minute later, Madge's husband walked out their back door and over to the patio. The way his shorts stood out in the front told me Teresa had sent him an invitation, and I wasn't wrong. He walked over to Teresa, grinned, and then pulled the string over her right hip. He pulled the string over her left hip then, and when Teresa raised up her ass, he pulled her bottoms off and sat them on the table.

I didn't actually get video what he did to her pussy because his head pretty much had it covered, but I didn't have to. The way he was bobbing up and down and the way Teresa pulled up her bikini bra and started rubbing her nipples said he wasn't just counting the blond hairs on her pussy. That's how I knew she was a natural blonde, by the way. Women will bleach the hair on their heads so they'll look like a blonde, but they almost never bleach their pussy hair. It's something about bleach burning that sensitive skin, or at least that's what Wanda told me. Teresa's little bush was the same color as the hair on her head.

Well, about the time Teresa started to push her pussy into his face, Madge's husband stood up, dropped his shorts, and walked up beside Teresa's face. I couldn't make out the writing on the package he handed her, but when she tore it open and stuck the condom in her mouth, I figured out what was gonna happen.

Teresa grabbed his cock and pulled him a little closer, then grinned and opened her mouth. I saw her cheeks working a little and then Teresa pushed her face down. She went down far enough she had to straighten out her neck to get his cock all the way in, and when she pulled back up, the guy had the condom over his cock. I'd never seen that before. Teresa was very talented.

Anyway, Teresa grinned when Madge's husband grabbed her legs and raised them up. He straddled the chaise lounge, guided his cock to her pussy, and then pushed in. Teresa made this little "O" shape with her mouth and then gave both her nipples a tight pinch. I kept recording while he pumped his cock in and out of Teresa.

I figured Teresa must do something to stay flexible, because he had her ankles hooked over his shoulders and when he stroked in, Teresa's legs ended up almost touching her tits. I was imagining how that must feel when her legs started to shake. She grabbed his ass and pulled him in closer, and then sort of started to shake all over. Madge's husband was pumping his cock in and out of Teresa really fast then, and after a few strokes, he jerked about four times.