Cheat and Lie

"Please don't hurt him. He isn't a bad man. It took me a long time to convince him to go with my plan. I think he agreed just so I would stop asking."

"Do you have feelings for him? Amy. Are you trying to protect him."

"No. I don't. I just don't want anyone else hurt. I've hurt enough people with this.

"What's his name, Amy?"

"He's Brian Parsons. He lives in Tempe, Arizona. He's a professor of physics at Arizona State."

"Here's what I want you to do. Email him and tell him you will never contact him again. He isn't to contact you ever. No gifts. No inquiries about the kid. No more contact. You will break all ties with him."

"Do you agree to that?"

"Yes, Eric. I'll do anything you ask. I love you. I'll do anything to get us past this."

I'll call the kids and tell them to come home. I expect they will have a lot to say to you, so get ready. Especially Sarah. She will vent and then probably do everything she can to get us back together. I know she will give you a piece of her mind. Just remember they love you. You're their mother. They will always love you."

"Do you still love me, Eric."

"I'll probably love you forever. I really hate what you did. I may be able to deal with me not being their father, but I don't know about forgetting you cheating on me. I'll probably need professional help to get that video our of my head."

"I'll go to counseling with you. Anything to get us past this. Please don't give up on us. I know we can make it right. I'm just so sorry that I hurt you. I never wanted that to happen."

"I'm going to stay away for a while. I need to be alone to think my way through this. I won't abandon you or the kids. I know I won't be able to get that video out of my head if I'm seeing you everyday.

"Whatever you want. I'll agree. Just don't give up on us. Call me from time to time. Let me know how you're doing."

"I will. I need to go now. I need to call the kids. Expect them home probably today."

I go and pack my clothes and toiletries. As I start to leave my asks.

"Can I have a hug before you go. I really need one."

I take her in my arms. We hug and then I walk out the door. I hear her break down and start crying as the door closes.

***********************

The next morning I call the kids. It's time for them to come home.

"Hello, Dad. Are you OK. We're worried sick."

"Hi, Sarah. I'm OK. Take it easy.

"Did you talk to Mom. What happened."

"Calm down. I talked to her. You can all come home now. I'm going to rent an apartment for a while. I need some time to get my mind right. And take it easy on her. She is taking this pretty hard. I know you want to give her a piece of your mind, but go easy."

"Are you going to divorce her?"

"I haven't decided on anything yet. Just come home and I'll explain everything to you. I'll keep you all in the loop. One thing I want you to know. Now that I know who Mr. Sperm Donor is, if you want to contact him I won't stand in your way. It will be your call.

"I've lived this long without talking to him. I can go a lot longer without him."

"Maybe when you get older you'll change your mind."

"OK, Dad. We'll leave in a couple of hours.

"OK, bye bye. I love you."

"We love you too, Dad. See you in a while."

************************

The kids come home. They burst in the door and hug their crying Mom. She manages to maintain some composure. Sarah starts asking questions right away. She is the "in your face type". She gets in Amy's shit immediately. Gary and Jim stand back and listen. Amy tells them why she did what she did and how she is so sorry for breaking up the family and hurting everyone. They assure her that they love her and will do everything possible to help her fix it. The finally settle down and Amy goes hardcore into being the best Mom she can be for them.

***********************

I spend the next few days apartment hunting and getting set up for my single life. I've already come to the conclusion that it's going to suck. I plunge ahead knowing I have no other choice. The kids come by at every opportunity to check up on me. Sarah offers to come and cook for me. I let her do it off and on.

I quickly decide I won't sit in my apartment and watch TV feeling sorry for myself. I find a nice watering hole nearby. It has a very friendly staff. I plan on becoming an expert at nursing drinks. The next business day I go back to work. My loyal secretary Sally, meets me with a smile and a hug.

"Good morning, Eric. Good to see you back at work. I was running out of things to do."

"Hi Sally, good to see you."

"How are you doing. Bring me up to date."

"Well, I moved out and got an apartment. Amy confirmed that the kids aren't mine. I decided the best thing was to come back to work instead of sitting around watching TV and feeling sorry for my self."

"I think you made the right decision. It's going to be hard for you. If there's anything I can to do help just let me know. I'm pretty good company and a good listener."

"Thanks, Sally. I know I can count on you."

"I guess you're ready. Here's a few messages for you. Nothing important."

"I have one important task. I intend to collect back child support from Mr. Sperm Donor."

"Are you going to hit him hard."

"Oh yes. I think a nice round number to start with is $400K if he wants to settle out of court. More if he want to go the legal route. He's a professor at Arizona State. I'm curious how his wife is going to react to all this. I don't think he can sneak that much out without her knowing."

I inform my boss that I'm back and pick up where I left off. I plan on staying as busy as possible but first I have Sally call Mr. Sperm Donor.

"Hello, Arizona State College. How may I direct you call?"

"May I speak with Mr. Brian Parsons please."

"May I tell him who is calling?"

"Yes. I'm Mr. Eric Jensen's secretary with Johnson, Williams and Benson Law offices."

"One moment please."

Ten seconds later.

"I'm sorry. Mr. Parsons isn't available right now. May I give him your number."

"Of course. It's (xxx) xxx-xxxx."

"Thank you."

"Thank you. Have a nice day."

Sally looks at me, smiles and gives me three fist pumps and a "YES! YES! YES! I would hate to ever get on her bad side.

Two hours later.

"Hello, Mr. Jensen's office. My name is Sally. How may I help you."

"umm This is Brian Parsons. Eric Jensen called me."

"Yes, Mr. Parsons, Let me connect you. Please hold."

She gives me another big smile and a thumbs up.

"Hello, Mr. Parsons. Thanks for returning my call. It's come to my attention that I've been supporting three of your children for the last twenty or so years."

"What is this. Is this a shake down.?"

"No, of course not. It's just a matter of some back child support."

"I guess Amy finally told you. The cat seems to be out of the bag, so to speak."

"Yes it is. I'm prepared to give you two choices. We can reach an agreement out of court or go the hard way and let the legal system take care of it. If you decide to settle it will save you quite a bit in legal fees."

"Have you decided on a figure?"

"Yes, but there is something else too. I want a notarized letter from you saying you, as their biological father give up all parental rights to the three children and that you agree not to communicate in any way with Amy or the children."

"I see. You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Jensen. What's the amount of the support.?"

"Well, based on $500 per month to the age of 21 for three children, I come up with just a little under $400K. Let's just round it off at $400K and call it all square. All three of your children intend to go to college. I'm sure you wouldn't want to deny that to them. It's my understanding you have three sons in college so I'm sure you're familiar with the cost of raising children."

"That's quite a sum. It will take me a while to come up with that much. Can you give me some time?"

"How much time would you need? Would thirty days be enough?"

"That should be enough time"

"Upon delivery of that amount I'll send you a notarized letter absolving you of any financial responsibility for your children and that I'm satisfied with the settlement."

"OK, I'll be in touch."

"Goodbye, Mr. Parsons."

Sally gives me a high five and a big hug.

"Well done, Eric. The shit will hit the fan there. I wonder if he wet his pants?"

"It's called the fucking you get for the fucking you got."

*************************

The next week I find a counselor to help me with my problem. I explain what and how everything came to pass. I describe the emotions I'm feeling and what my goals are. This isn't her first rodeo and she comes up with a plan. As the video running thought my head is the big problem, she suggest that I try to desensitize myself to it. She wants me to let it run. She tells me it will cause pain and anger but she wants me to feel the emotions. The next step is for me to imagine it's a file on my computer and I'm running it on my video player. I'm supposed to run it and play with the stop, pause and play controls. This is supposed to give me control of it. I can run it at will, pause it, stop it at will and close the video player. The last step is for me to delete the file. She says that I'll always have a memory of the incident but it will just be just that, a bad memory.

Over the next few weeks I try what she asks. As she said, I feel all the emotions but they become less intense. Then I start playing with the controls. It works. I gain control of it. Then I start deleting it. It takes a while but the plan works.

Three days later the check from Mr. Sperm Donor comes by courier. I open a special account and deposit it.

The summer is over and Gary and Sarah go back to college. Jim decides he want to be a forensic investigator with the fire department. He enrolls in fire science courses online. I wonder, but never ask if he did this so him Mom wouldn't be living alone. He's a good kid and loves his Mom.

One Friday evening I'm about to go home for the day and Sally walks into my office.

"Eric, I've been watching you and I don't like what I see. You're spending too much time alone. Your kids are coming around but you're not getting out except going to that bar. How about we go out to dinner tonight. You need to get out and rejoin the rest of the world."

I smile at her. My ever present Sally. She always has my best interests in mind. I suspect she has some therapy of her own in mind, but I'm not sure what. I decide to go.

"OK, what time shall I pick you up?"

'I'll be ready at seven. I want a nice seafood dinner, and you're buying."

"Seven it is."

******************

Promptly at seven my finger is poised to ring Sally's doorbell. I take a deep breath and push. The door opens and my mouth falls open. He brown hair falls just below her shoulders. It frames her beautiful face. Her secretary glasses are gone. She is wearing her little black dress. It come down to mid thigh. I see beautiful legs clad in black thigh high hose from the hemline down. Not to mention plenty of cleavage showing. As my eyes move up and down she chuckles. I regain my senses and ask.

"Is Sally here? We're supposed to go out to dinner."

"She's indisposed. I'm going with you in her stead."

"Holy crap, Sally. Is that really you?"

"Yep, it's me. I decided to wear something different than my office garb."

"Wow. I knew you were nice looking but this off the scale."

"Why thank you, Eric. What a nice thing to say. Let me get my wrap and we can go."

I take her to Romano's. It's the best surf and turf place that I know of. The hostess seats us and I order a carafe of white wine. It's difficult for me to keep my eyes off her. I notice she is smiling as she watches me from the corner of her eye. The waitress comes and she orders the seafood combo. It has swordfish steak, razor clams and jumbo shrimp. Being a meat and potatoes man I order the fillet mignon with a baker.

"Eric, if you eat a fillet with white wine you'll explode."

"It's worth the risk. This is delicious."

"Mine is too. Good choice on this place. I'll make a note of it."

We chat and enjoy our meal. It's time to take her home. On the way home she asks.

"Eric, how are you and Amy getting along. I haven't heard you say much."

"Umm we're civil to each other. I'm finally getting my mind right. It's still too soon to think about getting back together. I need more time."

"I hope you two make it. You really had a good marriage."

"Yeah, had is the keyword. I really doubt if it will ever get back to what is was before."

"Is she seeing a counselor?"

"I don't think so. She hasn't mentioned it. I'm sure she would if she was."

"I probably shouldn't have mentioned it. I didn't want to bring a nice evening down at the end."

"It's ok. I had a great time tonight. You're good company. I have to admit, seeing you outside the office was a real eye opener. You're a very lovely woman."

"Aw, you say the sweetest things. But, Monday it's back the office secretary."

"You're a great secretary and a great friend. Thanks for being there for me."

"I think I'll have a craving for more seafood next weekend, so pencil me in."

"Consider it done."

I drop her off at her house with a hug and a quick kiss on the lips. She doesn't make a move and neither do I.

The next Friday evening she comes in the office.

"Tonight I want seafood and dancing. You're buying again."

"You're on."

I ring her bell and the door opens. This time she is wearing her little red dress. It has spaghetti straps which means no bra. Her hemline is mid thigh again. Red FM heels accent the red dress. She greets me with a hug and a kiss. She holds the kiss a little longer than the last one. I feel her firm breasts against me chest and my cock stirs.

We enjoy a nice dinner and move to the dance area. Even before we're seated she pulls me to the dance floor. It's a nice fast tango and I pleasantly discover she is not only beautiful but she's a great dancer. We find a table and I order a carafe of red wine. We dance to three fast ones in a row. She is beaming and it's obvious she is having a great time. A slow set starts and she pulls me up again. She moves into my arms and pulls up close to me. I feel her against my cock. It comes up to half hard. She looks up at me and smiles. She doesn't pull away. We stay out for two more slow ones. She hold my hand as we go back to our table. We sit and she looks at me.

"Eric. I want you to know something. I don't know if you've noticed that I don't ever mentions a steady boyfriend. It's because I don't have one. I do have some friends with benefits. After working with you all these years I realized that I was comparing all the men I met to you. None of them measured up. I never made a move on you because you had a wonderful marriage. I didn't want to be a home wrecker. I just want you to know. If you ever need me to be more than a friend or secretary just tell me."

I was dumbfounded. I never suspected she had feelings for me.

"Wow. I never suspected that. The way it is now, I can't start a relationship. I'm still married and there is a chance, however slim, that Amy and I will get back together. When I find out that won't happen you'll be the first one to know."

"I understand, Eric. Please don't let this influence your decision with Amy. That wasn't why I told you this. I'll always be your friend no matter what."

"Thanks, Sally. I've always felt you were there for me."

It's quiet as I drive her home. Many thoughts are running through my brain. They're all good. I drop her off with a nice hug and a kiss.

Saturday afternoon finds me sitting on my sofa watching sports program. My phone rings. I's Amy.

"Hi. Amy. What's up?"

"Hi Eric. I was thinking. I want you to come over this evening for dinner. I was planning on making your favorite lasagna. We haven't seen each other I a while. I thought it might me nice to spend an evening together."

I'm surprised at her offer. I wonder if she is planning on making a move on me. I think a minute and decide, "What the hell", let's see what happens.

"Sounds ok, Amy. What time?"

"How about seven, and you don't need to ring the doorbell."

There's that hook again.

"Ok, see you then."

I pull up in front of the house. One deep breath and I walk in. She greets me with a big smile and a hug. She is dressed in what she knows if my favorite dress. It's short and shows off her hot ass and legs.

"Come in and sit. Dinner is almost ready. I'll pour you a glass of wine."

I sit and watch her flit around the kitchen. I suspect she is as nervous as I am. We make idle chatter about the kids and what's going on with them. Sarah has a boyfriend, Gary is pulling down a 4.0 in all of his classes. Jim is taking fire science classes on line and is doing great.

We finish dinner and she leads me to the sofa. She sits close and her arm is just touching mine. As we chat she slowly moves closer. I put my arm around her shoulder. She immediately snuggles up against me. He breast against my side. She looks up and kisses me on the cheek.

"It's nice to be with you again, Eric. It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has, Amy."

She turns toward me and kisses me full on the lips. She holds her lips on mine, her tongue searching my lips. I open my lips and her tongue finds mine. I hear her moan and feel her nipples get hard against me. She always was a great kisser. It's impossible for me to resist. She pulls my hand to her breast. I hear her moan again as my hand closes on it. I tweak her nipple and our kiss gets hotter. Without breaking our kiss she turns and lays across my lap, both breasts against my chest.

"Eric, darling. Come to the bedroom with me. Let's try. Can we?"

I've come this far so I decide to go with her. She stands and pulls me up from the couch. I follow her into the bedroom. She moves into my arms and kisses me again. Our tongues meet and our passion raises. We slowly undress each other and fall on the bed. She quickly moves down and starts sucking my cock. It comes up full hard for her. She gets on top and drops on my cock. That hot pussy I remember so well wraps around my cock. She starts moving, taking me all the way in and then out. Then she rolls over and pulls me on top of her. She guides my cock into her dripping pussy.

"Oh god, baby. It's so good to have you back where you belong."

"I moan and push in all the way. I start stroking the way she likes it. She responds with moans and groans. She starts stroking up in rhythm with me. I can tell she is getting close. Her pussy muscles are squeezing me. Suddenly she throws her legs around my ass and locks her ankles. Her arms go around my neck. She pulls me down and thrusts up with her hips.

"Fuck me, baby. Cum in me. Cum in me hard. Please, baby. Cum in me. please. Please."

Then the worst happens. Her begging for my cum causes that picture to pop into my mind. I see her with her sperm donor laying in her saddle. I see her face twisted in ecstasy. My cock goes limp. I stop and lay still. It fucking happened. I had no control over it. She stops and just holds me. I feel her tears start.

"It's ok, baby. We can try again. It's ok."

I don't say a word. I just roll off her and sit on the side of the bed with my face in my hands. She starts crying full on.

"I'm sorry, Amy. I guess I'm not over it. I'm so sorry."

She hugs my back crying so hard she can't speak. I sit there a while as all the pain comes back. She lets go and falls on her pillow, sobbing. I stand up and start getting dressed.

"Amy, I think it's best if I go. I'm sorry."

I finish dressing and walk out. She watches me go, sobbing.

As I'm driving home the words keep running through my mind. "It won't ever work. I can't go back. It wont ever work. I can't go back."