All Comments on 'Cheater'

Whywritethis!!!!!!!

Cuckold wrong category piece of lowlife dog shit

none for you and her bags are fulled. TK U MLJ LV NV

Your name is correct: "whyreadthis." And "copyright." What a joke. If you're going to attempt to write a tale, learn to do it right. As far the LW category, this is a joke (also).

Quite incredible that she would give him the blow by blow description of what she did with Issac, even more incredible that he would sit and listen to it. Most incredible of all is he doesn't react to what she said. His colorless nature explains why she dumped him, but usually women trying to avoid hurt feelings. You need to explain why she told him all this, and why he was so uncaring. Cheating stories generally go in loving wives,or erotic couplings. Not much drama in this short story, just a discription of what they did,

Generally it's better to finish the story in one shot, 20-30,000 words. That also gives you time to develop characters and bring things to life.

chilley

Not bad but could use a little work and expand more on detail. I could see where he was shocked but I don't think I would need time to think about it. Maybe she wants to have both of them.

Then you'd have a place to put this. Why did you put it in "mature?" If they were on line and each other's first how old could they be? I have to agree with other comments, "why-read-this is a perfect name for you as an author.

Just my thoughts - but in literature we have what's called static and dynamic characters. Also a protagonist (hero) and antagonist (think villain). You've given us two (maybe three) static unchanging characters - through a confession (that she had to explain why that occasion arose - with one line and no backup / very little detail) and the man's deferred decision about how to handle it.

So - hopefully what you done is start a few stages of something bigger - where you show the audience (readers) some sort of conflict in the main character's life. You allude to it as he goes off to think but if is going to happen, I wouldn't have ended the story so quickly (at least a "to be continued"). Another commentor indicated sentence structure...I second that observation. Poor structure makes us have to reread sentences to get the intent....

And for those that can exhibit the majority of their vocabulary in one sentence... I am sure everyone appreciates that you took the time to comment - but if you're regular readers as I suspect (I am)...take the time to offer actual criticism. It actually help the authors. And...consider some kindness. Think about this...the authors that take the time to write this have invested some time into their efforts. For some reason - they've typically done it for free (I'm sure there are many different reasons). But - I'm willing to bet that each author (I am not one) will take the time to read and CONSIDER real advice / criticism... But - we, we've come to a FREE website to read for specific fetishes / interests, and we come up with some of that garbage that I see...I thought this website was for ADULTS only...but you sure don't act like it!

Okay - I lied...it was three cents worth.

Was this "mature" story in the wrong category or is it just part of a longer story, with an end this time, with the writer reflecting back on his younger days with a younger women?

leave the whore before she breaks your heart and gives you things you cant get rid of namely sexually transmitted diseases

the author has chosen the correct non de plume for this piece of crap. whyreadthis is certainly the first thought in my mind.

Pretty weak....where is the tension, the drama, no ending, nothing but a few lines of porn!

whyreadthis story, why read (t)his story, is whyreadthis playing a game, about his girlfriend the same age as him,brags on how great her lover is in great detail to him, and he leaves and has to think about it. maybe this guy left because he didnt get to watch his girlfriend run around on him. now on erotica its alright to run around on your wife, but its not alright for someone to run around on me. this story is funny, this guy, is to good of a guy and funny to be on erotica, maybe he should pack his bags and be a better comedian elsewhere. we will miss him awful.

this story is incredible, almost as incredible as arafat winning the nobel peace prize and this story of the girl the saamr age as him, he put in the mature section please write more stories, magnifico.

Reading this story left me wondering why I read it. Why read this?

I have no idea.

If I had known, before I clicked the link to it, how much I would enjoy reading it, I wouldn't have clicked the link to it.

Why click on the link?

To finish the story. Thanks for the part you did.

no problem live and learn, move on down the road

The greatest work of fiction since Paradise Lost. WOW.

bye bye bitch

You left for good. No woman--even though you were her first(are you sure?)--is worth keeping if she goes home with another boyfriend because she was "lonely" and fuck & sucks him all night.

DUMP THE BITCH!!!

Time to divorce the cheating cheap ass slut and find a younger better looking, sexier woman that loves you and wont spread her legs and let another shoot his sperm in her. Get rid of her find Issac and kick in the ball so hard he will be wearing them for a hat. That way maybe his cock will never work again and your soon to ex-whore can really become the whore she wants to be

Go find Isaac and beat the shit out of him....

but the truth will/can/does hurt bad, TK U MLJ LV NV

And her ass should be kicked to the curb period. The soon to be former boyfriend should say "later cheating bitch" to the soon to be former girl friend and tell her that he'll be sharing just how the bitch operated within their relationship fucking the whole thing up.

Is that the end of it about half a Lit page? You need to Finish this story!

Your name says it all, “WHY READ THIS’.

Huh?

Your username is quite appropriate.

Stupid, inane narrated action by GF. Just a waste.