Cheating and Infidelity

Covid and Infidelity

Having just gotten over covid and being hospitalized for it. I had a lot of time to think about a possible story. I am using my hospital stay as a backdrop. Fortunately, I had incredible care and consider healthcare workers an amazing group. God bless them all. Also thank you to my editor Olivia, she is excellent. Any errors you see are mine.

March 1, 2021

"Honey, remember I have dinner with a couple of friends from work this evening," my wife said as she got ready to run out of the door and head off to work.

"Ok, sure I will pick something have a good time see you later sweetheart," I said.

I am Tom Matthews and my wife; Barbara for 32 years. We have 2 grown children a son, Robert and his wife, Theresa and a daughter, Elizabeth. I have a great family and consider myself incredibly lucky. However, everything is not as it seems.

March 8, 2021

Barbara who normally got up early to prepare for work was still in bed. It was 7:30.

Honey, are you ok? It is 7:30." I asked.

"No, I feel pretty bad I think I am going to have to call in sick," she said. I called her office and told them she was under the weather and would let them know how she is doing.

Since the pandemic had been raging, we reinvented how we work while staying as safe as possible. Barbara worked for a large local construction company, in spite of the pandemic still had plenty of projects going. She reported to work every day, wore her mask and tried to maintain social distancing. We were scheduled to get our vaccinations in a couple of weeks.

I work for a large credit card company in the financial department and can work from home. My job is to preparing financial data for the Board of Directors, handle any reports needed by State Corporation Commission as well as tax info for IRS. Not exciting work but it paid well and with Barbara's job as assistant to the President of the construction company, we did fine. I have worked since graduating college and have been there 33 years.

Barbara's job is to handle all things for the President of the company. His name is Jonathan Reynolds. Barbara has worked there for 25 years and started after our youngest went to school. We both enjoyed our jobs and liked the people we worked with.

Barbara took her temperature, and it was 100.5 degrees. "Honey maybe you should go get tested for covid." I said.

"Oh no! There have been some at work who had Covid. I think I will get tested."

"Yes, I that's a good idea. I will sleep in the other room until you get your test results back. Although if you have Covid, I probably do too."

She went to our local pharmacy and they gave her a test. It would take about 2 days to get the results.

March 10, 2021

"I got my results, I am positive." Barbara said.

"I am sorry honey, but at least you know. You should call your office and tell them because you have been in contact with them. Who did you have dinner with last week? They may need to get tested."

"Just Sally and the new girl, Regina. We took her out to welcome her to the company. I will call them."

"At least I work from home so I can be your nurse. I will call our Doctor and see if they recommend anything I can do. Get in the bed and I will fix you some breakfast."

The doctor was helpful but mostly just told me to give Barbara vitamin C, B3, zinc and drink lots of liquids. The doctors also said if Barbara's breathing became a problem or she develops an extremely high fever take her to the emergency room.

I called our kids to let them know and told them we would be fine. This pandemic has changed everything. The way we work, schools, businesses it has been difficult, but we have been lucky up to this point.

March 14, 2021

Barbara seemed to be doing ok. Her temperature was a low grade one and she was not coughing much. She was very tired, and I was trying to fix meals that she would like to eat. She did lose her taste which was not a big problem because I don't cook as well as she does.

I started feeling unwell. "Barbara, I think I need to get tested. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and was soaking wet from sweating. I think I have a fever."

I took my test and will find out in a couple of days.

March 15, 2021

I was feeling worse but haven't received my test results. I am sure I am positive. I struggle to can fix us both breakfast and lunch. My sister who lives near me said she would bring us dinner. Bless my family! They are always there when I need them.

March 16, 2021

My test results were positive. I am lying in the bed and have a difficult time getting up. Barbara seems to be getting little bit better. I learned to order groceries online and have them delivered. That helps us but it is still difficult trying to fix a decent dinner.

March 17, 2021

People from our Church heard about Barbara and I being sick with Covid. Some brought over food and drinks. It is nice to know when you are down, people step up to help. It is amazing.

I have no energy. My fever is not spiking I feel so tried. Barbara seems to be getting better. She has bit more energy.

March 18, 2021

Barbara didn't have a fever today and feels a little bit better. Now she is waiting on me. I asked her how she think she got covid and she said she's not sure.

The phone rang and I answered. It was Sally from Barbara's work. She said she was checking on us. I told her thanks and asked her if she was ok. She said she was fine. Then she told me she had not been out in the public for a couple of months. That surprised me because Barb had told me that she went with Sally and the new employee, Regina out for dinner. I thanked Sally for her concerns and asked if anyone else in the office had covid. She told me Jonathan had been out for 14 days and was doing fine but would be back in a few days.

I feel unsettled. Not only was I sick from Covid, but I had a wife who lied to me. I did not think she has ever lied to me for as long as we have known each other. Now what am I going to do? I feel awful but I need to know what is going on.

March 19, 2021

I didn't sleep at all last night. I had to know. I got to my computer and decided to check our credit cards to see if any activity was posted. Barbara and I each had our own credit cards, but she paid hers and I paid mine. I rarely checked the balances because most of the time we paid them off each month. I had set them up so that we could check them because a few years ago someone hacked our accounts. My hand was shaking as I searched her account.

OMG, there it was. On March 1 she had a charge from the Hampton Inn. The Hampton Inn was 20 miles away. The same night she was having dinner with friends. I was furious. What am I going to do? How could she do this to me? She was still home but feeling better.

When she saw me, she realized something was wrong. She mentioned I looked worse than this morning. I told her I wanted to stay in bed. I went to my son's room and crawled in bed. She brought me some soup, but I wasn't hungry. She tried to engage me, but I kept acting like I wanted to sleep. She closed the door to let me sleep. I still love her with all my heart, but this is devastating. I can't live without her and I have to tell her that I know. This is so painful. As badly as I feel I am going to need Barb to help me. I can't recover from Covid without her.

March 20, 2021

I woke up feeling extremely ill with fever. Brabara brought me juice and a bagel. I really didn't feel like eating but I know I should. She sat there as I ate.

"Barbara, how long have you been sleeping with Jonathan Reynolds?"

Her face turned white, as she asked, "Why do you think I have been doing that? I love only you."

"Well, I found out you two went to the Hampton Inn on the same night you told me you were having dinner with Sally and the new girl. Which by the way, Sally denied she was with you that night."

Barbara just burst into tears and ran out of the room. At least she knows that I know. This should be interesting. I knew when I found out I was going to confront her immediately. I am not the type to drag things out by following her or spy on her. That is the one thing Barbara always knew about me. When she was caught in a lie, she always confessed. Funny how that works out.

Later Barbara crept back into the room.

"Are you ready to tell me about it?"

She started crying and asked for my forgiveness. Finally, I had enough.

"Just tell me the truth please, that is all I want. Be truthful, I think I deserve it."

"Yes, my love you deserve it. There are no excuses, you are the love of my life. Never have I thought otherwise. I know my actions are horrible, but you are the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Well, where did the train run off the tracks in our marriage."

She started crying again and said, "It was nothing more than doing something naughty."

Well, I wish you had told me or asked me. I would have done anything naughty with you and you know it."

I have always wanted to explore other things we could do in bed and tried to introduce them, but you always shut me down. Why?"

Barbara sniffed and said,"When Jonathan started spending more time with me, I became more relaxed. He is a very smart and handsome man, although no more handsome than you."

I rolled my eyes.

"I have worked for him for over twenty years, and we know each other well and feel comfortable around each other. We just slowly over the years got closer to each other. There was never any criticism of you. We both respect you and I love you to death."

"Damn fine way to show it. I am sure you both had a good laugh at my ignorance."

"No, never. I know I acted terribly, but you are my rock and my love, and no one can change that."

"How long have you two been screwing around? I am tired of being clueless. You better tell me the truth so help me God."

"I will, the first time was 3 years ago."

"I can't believe it! You have been sleeping with him a three years! I am such a damn fool."

"No, you are not. We probably averaged once a month."

"Ok, I didn't think you could make me feel worse. Please leave and let me sleep. We will talk again tomorrow."

Barbara got up to kiss me but I turned my face. I told her to leave. She was sobbing when she shut the door.

March 21, 2021

I have never felt so alone. No children or wife. I cannot see them and do not want to see her. I am thinking of all the times I was at a function with Jonathan and he was sleeping with my wife. It makes me feel so stupid. What amazes me is that I never remember any time when he was not respectful of me or made me feel slighted. I am so sad and feel so sick.

She taps on the door and asks what I want for breakfast. "I am not hungry just give me some time."

"Let me bring you your vitamins that you should take. You need them. "

She left and I try to fall back asleep.

Barbara comes back in the room. Barbara always likes explaining things. She is always trying to justify her decisions. This should be interesting to hear. "Tom, from the moment I met you in college I loved you, I know it took you a little longer to discover me, but I was yours forever.

"I made a huge mistake, kept making it and tried to deny it. There are no excuses. I was selfish and a terrible person. You do not deserve any of this. I feel awful about it. I called Jonathan and turned in my resignation. You are the only one I want, and it will be like that forever."

"What did Jonathan say? Did he try to talk you out of it?

"Yes, until I told him you know about it. Then he realized it would be impossible to work together after all of that."

"Suppose we get a divorce; you will need that job. We both make good money, but it will change amazingly fast after 50/50 split."

She started sobbing and left the room. "Great talk," I thought to myself. I closed the door and locked it. I did not want to do any more talking today.

March 22, 2021

I woke up feeling worse than the day before. My fever was still high and up my pajamas were drenched. Barbara was feeling better, and I seem to stay in the same.

Barbara knocked on the door asking to be let in. I said, "Give me a few more minutes."

I got up, unlocked the door and she came in with my meds, juice and breakfast. She wanted to continue our discussion.

"Sweetheart, I understand that I devastated you and I betrayed you. I feel so bad. But please, I beg of you, do not divorce me. I will live as a slave in the basement if I have to."

"What the hell is wrong with you? You have a three-year affair not thinking twice that I might find out. Now suddenly you get religious and ready to turn your life around. I don't know who is dumber, me for believing you for the last three years or you for thinking I would just let this pass."

"I am going to counseling I swear I will do anything to save this marriage."

"It takes two people to save it DEAR and I am not sure I want to."

"Please don't say that I know I can be your loving wife. I will do anything for your forgiveness."

"Just let me fight this illness and get back my strength." I ate my breakfast and then rolled over. I have no energy. I feel exhausted all the time.

We get through the day without any more discussions. At this point, I do not know what I want to do. I just want to get well. The crazy thing is I still love her, but I am too tired to fight for her. If she still wants me, maybe there is a way back. If she wants him absolutely not.

I feel like I have been backstabbed by someone who has always had my back. Now I know it is not true. Could I ever trust her. I wish I felt better I would escape for a while by myself to think it through.

March 23, 2021

I woke up this morning feeling stiff. I guess my back is sore because I have been in the bed for so long. I need to get up and move but I am too weak. Going to the bathroom and walking is a chore. Barbara makes a special breakfast of an omelet, which I love, with bacon and toast. I wish I could taste it. I know the smell is wonderful too. I try to eat it, but I am not that hungry. She begs me to eat and tells me she will fix anything I want. I guess a one-way ticket to hell might be asking a lot.

She tells me she has booked a counselor who was highly recommended by Sally, who went through a rough patch a few years ago. She and her husband both loved her, and she thought it would help us too.

I asked, "Barbara, does Sally know about you and Jonathan?"

"Oh no, not at all we were very discreet."

"Sally is very perceptive I bet she had an idea something might be happening, because it is almost impossible to have a three-year affair and hide it."

"Tom I am so sorry, I feel disgust that I hurt you like this. I want you to know Jonathan is not a better lover or bigger or anything compared to you. He was simply different, and I was wrong to do anything. He also feels bad about it and I know he had no interest in me other than being a distraction. He dates women all over town and could not be exclusive even if he had to. I am so sorry. I love you so much and I will do anything to get you back. Please allow me to try."

"If he felt bad about it, why did you both continue for three years. You must have found some comfort in it. Did you ever come home after being with him then have sex with me?"

"No never, I swear. I would never do that I never had him in our home either."

"Good I would hate it if you both defiled our master bedroom where we conceived our children. Did you ever do anything that we did not do? Such as anal, bdsm, or anything else."

"Once he wanted to tie me up, but I was too scared to be tied up, that is not my fantasy and I said so."

"Wow that was very noble of you. You do have standards; they are just incredibly low. Is he a good lover?"

"Why do you want to know? You are still the best. This was just a terrible mistake. I can't believe I did this either. I was more of a distraction for him. He dates many women. Forget about him, you are all I want and I want you to get well so we can move ahead. I will never forgive myself for doing this."

"How would you feel if I had a three-year affair with someone? What would you do?"

"I would be hurt and very angry. Honey I don't blame you for your feelings what I did was awful and you deserve better. I am begging you to forgive me please."

"I need some rest now, good night." I closed my eyes so she would leave.

March 24, 2021

I woke up this morning feeling intense pain in my back. I am having trouble breathing too. It is 5:00 in the morning, but I felt I needed to get to the emergency room. So, I got dressed and got to the car to drive myself there. I know Barbara would want to go, but she would not be allowed in as I will be in isolation. I went into the Emergency room. The nurses and staff saw me and quickly hooked up to an oxygen monitor. My breathing feels diminished. It hurts to exhale and inhale. They gave me an EKG, then a chest x-ray, and then a CT scan to check my lungs. I am lying on a gurney in a room in Emergency waiting to hear from someone. The staff here is particularly good. A nurse told me they are looking at the charts and will let me know as soon as possible.

An ER doctors come into my room to tell me I have blood clots in my lungs. The ER Doctor went on to say I am going to are going to be admitted me and started on IV's for nourishment as well as blood thinners. I feel better that know what is causing my pain.

A nurse changed me into a the hospital gown and moved me to a Covid ward. I asked for a phone and they bring it to me. Amazingly I forgot my cell phone, which I usually always have on me. I called home to tell Barbara what is happening. She started wailing as she thought I had left her. She begged me to forgive her and said she should have driven me to the hospital. I told her she is not allowed in the hospital so she should not bother. She kept crying on the phone. I told her I had to go.

I am not sure what is worse, her wailing in my ear or me not being able to breath. I have seen 4 nurses, 2 cna's, 3 doctors, 4 tech people and I feel really cared for. They have been giving me nourishment and medicine through IVS. My breathing is less labored though I still need oxygen. These people are good.

Now they want me to eat but I don't have much appetite. I order some soup for lunch and some chicken and rice for dinner. Everyone tells me hospital food is bad, but I can't taste anything, so it isn't a problem.

Barbara calls me back and apologizes again and said she has spoken to the kids to let them know I am in the hospital. My son wanted to visit, and she told him no one can see me. I love my children and miss them as we have not seen them much during this pandemic. When this is over, we are going to have a huge backyard party for family.

I settle in for the night, but at midnight, 2am and 4am they check my vitals and at 6am they take my blood. I seem to get lots of rest but almost no sleep. They do care for their patients. My nurses must wear a mask, shield, all covered and gloves. I don't know how they do it. They are wonderful.

March 25, 2021

After giving blood at 6AM, I doze a little longer but wake up when breakfast arrives. It is pancakes and bacon, I love this but am not very hungry. I manage to eat most of it. The phone rings and Barbara is crying again and asking how I am. I told her I think I am improving but still very tired. She kept apologizing and wishes she could see me. I believe her. Barbara has faults but she also is very compassionate for those who are hurting or ill. She is usually the first one from Church to send a meal or a card or pick up some groceries. I know deep down she is deeply sorry and also has to understand that she and Jonathan gave me Covid. I am too sick to decide about our marriage or future, but I will have lots of thinking to do in the next few weeks.