All Comments on 'Cheating Wife, but So Much FIXED!'

Much better

Started off brilliantly! Novel plot twist with "it's a knock-out" gaming tournaments, well written (except for spelling errors) had me quite gripped, and eager to follow. UNTIL we got halfway down page 2, where I forcefully regurgitated my bowlful of organic muesli all over the brand new hand-crafted 18' x 12' Persian Carpet!

Needless to say I abandoned the toxic narrative as fast as a politician's promise on the day after their election!

Yucky-Poo, with carrots in too!

Cleaner than the original. I like that one too, but this is better. Nice update.

5 for the audacity of it all.

very well done. in your first story i critiqued that it felt like you were going to have the mc be like edrider73's, weak and helpless and a pussy boi. Saddletramp's ending was pretty good but yours(this one) is the best. yours is the most realistic and saddletramps needed a lot of luck. Manipulating a fight, rational and probable, getting beat up, necessary sacrifice to get upper hand on lover, LUCKY to get lover do door damage to slut but very probable in a fight to get collateral damage. Took him a littlke long to get his head strait and im ok w/ that mostly, im also ok w/ him getting some fucks in and oits her fault (a little) that she dismissed the grudge fucks as ok and necessary, she was 1-either bat shit crazy deluded rationalizing or 2- understood NOTHING about what love is or what makes a man a man. thanks great story after a misfire on 1st attempt. rk

You are right author.

I hate your guts.

But although this is the Reality.

Men will be always controlled by women.

They will just bat their puppy dog eyes, show some cleavages, give some pussy , and there you go... Men will do their every bidding like a fucking slave DOG.

So from this thing comes the expression "Men are Dogs".

So many stories here have dialogue that is so stilted and scripted that it's not believable. This one was real, and some of the dialogue was hilarious. Could have added a few more paragraphs, tho, to the 'ending'.

Much, much better. 5 stars.

I preferred your original version. At least with the original you could have explored something interesting with an additional chapter. Here you just caved to the BTB crowd, and went for a pretty extreme BTB. Maybe that's just your audience, and hey it's your story so you do you.

All due respect to EvelZombie, Noah didn't burn Heather, she burned herself. He didn't make her commit bigamy. He DID however trick Steve into assaulting him. Steve stole his wife, so he deserved what he got.

It seems to me that I've read a similar story about a wife clicking with another man and coming up with the same... We were married while I was away from my husband and when her parents found out who she cheated with and married. it turned out that the guy she fell in love with and was married in another state she had committed adultry with turned out to be her own brother. He was born first at a time that the parents were unable to care for him so they gave him up for adoption.... So when that guy went after "her" he knew all along that they were brother and sister. ergo, he went to jail. She , realizing she had been had, went back to her husband.

I thought you were going to let the poor guy be a cuckold towards the end of the first episode. But I didn’t like Steve’s attitude. He presumed too much, arrogant shithead was he. And wifey was an idiot, unreal. I liked the ending, came off much better. I wouldn’t have stood for that nonsense of a threesome with those two jerkoffs.

So, so much better. Well done! 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Somewhat better ending than the first version.

At least the original was... Original. This is just another BTB story.

Well done and actually, pretty funny in the last couple of scenes as the MC did his best to piss off the "bridge troll". You've redeemed yourself from the original version of this story. 5*****

If Heather wanted the three of them to have sex together, Noah should have told Steve that his butthole was fair game too. After all, a hole is a hole. See how Steve responds to that?

ChimneySweep, I like this version of the story, but I also like the original. The concept was great in the way that you outlined. It works very well. I especially like how because Heather was so convinced she was in the right that Steve began to doubt his own sanity. That happens often in real life as well. Don’t let the trolls make you crazy. Some people want to attack simply for the thrill of attack they deserve none of your attention or emotion.

He played the cheating bitch and Steve like a fiddle. Well done.

I'm having the longest belly-laugh of my life and it won't stop. Witchdoctor wedding. Ring exchange in the cow pasture. Degenerate morons. Incredible writing. Best of the show.

Love Femdom agitprop like this.

"You proved your asshole still makes my dick happy."

.

And that is the hole story.

Too wimpy too long

Trying for the wimpiest title

Pity sex on top

The idea that anyone, either him or her, would sit and listen to that verbal diarrhea is hilarious.

I wonder what she would do to him if she didn't love him?

Even the whiniest little submissive rebels after enough abuse.

What a total coward no wonder he wasn't enough, grow a fkn pair, and respect yourself, and have some honor and valor. If your wife cheats and you are a weak coward and stick it in her that is considered you giving your consent! As well as being disgusting showing you have no self-respect, no self-control, and have no value. Allowing yourself to be manipulated through sex also shows your cowardice and leaves you powerless. By refusing to touch the whore you keep all your masculine virtues and you gain the most power as well as denies her of your love and attention it is a direct insult that will return the most pain possible without physically touching her.

Sorry about the negative response on the other version. Keep on truckin brother. Thanks.

Much better ending. Great job.

That worked out very well despite the beating.he took.

A much better conclusion, thank you. I still think he listened to too much of her new age BS for too long but at least he got there in the end. I liked the consequences for that fucking little orc Steve too, as I was itching to take a swing at him myself and show him what I think of all his Feng Shui!

Well better than the original, that said why did he listen to all that word vomit from his wife?

The writing itself was above average and the story was interesting and original for this category

Thanks for writing

Read again. Damn good story.

On both stories, instead of texting her, I like the idea of hiding his car, taking hers with the extra key and then just let her figure it out. Much funnier.

Ha! What a great and funny read.

I thought that was great

When someone changes to their core like this the spouse should real have them get a medical check up as in like brain cancer

Loved this version

Darren

She definitely needed to be divorced but Noah was such a passive aggressive douche bag that I lost all sympathy for him. The path of action was plain to see the second he found out. Those divorce papers should have been handed to her at their first meeting after she came back from Colorado.

All the rest of it was just melodrama, the kind you'd expect from a limp wristed, do limp ankles count too?, pansy. Which is exactly what Noah turned out to be.

If I met Noah in real life I'd beat the sit out of him too.

The most interesting part of this story is how 'hobbies' can take over one's life and ruin vital aspects of Ines real life. You see this with men who spend all their spare time being gay for their cars, or those that spend all their time at the golf course, range and club house.

Lesson to learn, if you find yourself doing things away from your family that take up a sizeable part of your non working life then you don't actually live, like or want your family.

Heather clearly thought her exercise and gay mudder outings were more important than her husband, it really didn't matter that if she had an affair or not, she'd already made her priorities clear and such a person is prime pickings for an affair.

Enter than last time, but he should have cut her adrift straight away.

Much better than the first part, well done!!!

there you go

Much better ending. But the story shoud continue...

OK this ending makes sense and delivers justice.

Better ending, but the MC spent way too much time trying to argue against insanity in her logic, only to frustrate himself.

Seeing that you are again taking comments the masses agree that you indeed did fix it.

poor guy

Just very melodramatic

A lot of useless words, repeating the same thing over and over and over and over again. The story could’ve been one page had an ending so I gave it to three.

That's a pretty decent ending. I might have asked how she would like it if I went out, found another love of my life, and moved HER in.

OK, this was definitely a better ending (WAY WAY WAY better) than the original. I'm leaning towards 5 stars for the BTB, and ignore the crappy beginning (where he was a complete wuss trying to win the useless slut back and reconcile). Thank you for caring what your readers think and feel and positive or negative feedback your stories have on them.

/

P.S. OK, I'm not sure I agree with you turning off comments on original one but that's your right. BUT, I admit it took guts to just leave it up for people to continue to dislike, essentially for art's sake (so both your and ST's endings have a meaningful beginning - both of which endings I greatly liked).

Kick the looney bitch to the curb. Press charges against Steve, get a TRO against her and Steve. Then get a flipping divorce!! Get the polygamy info to the security office and get her clearance revoked!

Definitely a strong contender for most fucked up LW in the category. She's all sorts of crazy and living in her own fantasy world, picking and choosing rules to suit her desires. And in the end fucks up everything and loses the lot. Wish the ending was a bit longer just to see the totality of her ruin and misery. I doubt she'd admit fault because she's just not capable of understanding she did anything wrong. In a way it's sad and I pity her. Mental health issues are no joke.

Congratulations to the author on clearing up the mess made by that ghastly original. I still felt the MC did too much silly stuff before the lightbulb finally came on but at least it did. Better late than never. I echo the sentiments expressed elsewhere by inka2222 and hope the author has learned a valuable, if rather harsh lesson about what LW readers will and will not accept. JR

No one ever thought to call the cops when she mentioned that she was married to 2 men? In many states, that is a FELONY. It is ILLEGAL in ALL 50 STATES in the United States.

Better, but still a FAR CRY from believable or being relatable.

much better!!!

5 stars

Dude, this one was so much better. The original was frustrating because Heather is so egregiously narcissistic, self-righteous, self-absorbed, disrespectful, and insane yet the MC goes along with it, and at the end even considers that her lunacy may be right. It didn't have to be some BTB story but it was painful seeing a man so disrespected and unable to do what was necessary (divorce) after finding out she fucked another dude even once. Bad ppl get away with it in real life, so I'm glad Heather and Steve faced consequences in this one.

Just read this alternative ending much better. There is one thing, though you didn’t need to rewrite the end, you could’ve just done a continuation where he finally finds his spine and written a lot more about her spiral into hell, how she stayed with this mutt and now he brought other women into their relationship, because that’s just the piece of shit that he is..

Finally got it right.

How can you claim that your hero wasn't a cuck?

Gave the first version one star. This version got three from me. I liked it better than the first one but did not like it “a lot.” I understand how broken up a person can be when he/she finds out their partner, their soul mate, has been cheating for a long time. But our hero, Noah, behaves stupidly. I’ve read that if you, as a married partner, have sex with that partner after they cheated, then legally, you have “forgiven” that partner. So you cannot claim adultery after that. Of course, you can still divorce, but the reason would be irreconcilable differences or something like that. And a judge would almost certainly order counseling. The attorneys for each party would be pricey (yet our hero did not seem to have the money for a private detective), and counseling is not cheap either. Heather just wants to find a way to legitimize having two men and for that she is very selfish, since she clearly doesn’t like the idea of Noah having two women. I think this story would be better if there were more insight into the psychology of the parties rather than just the Neanderthal fighting that seemed unrealistic. P.S. With today’s creative district attorneys, I suspect Steve’s assault would be plea-bargained to a misdemeanor, so he won’t be Bubba’s lover anytime soon. Thanks for writing.

Grin!

Ed

I stopped reading the 1st around the 3rd page. It was sickening & didn't score it as there's no negative scoring. This was very slightly better. He tells his wife & bf to leave but they still stay in the apartment. (Side: who's name's on the lease?) Noah doesn't force them out nor takes her keys from her. Being told she married in Colorado & wanting to live with both "husbands", he should've contacted a divorce lawyer immediately, not wait days or whatever until he did. And definitely change the locks. But she gave him her body & they had sex irregardless of her adultery.

I found the author made the husband too weak. He yelled enough for them to get out but did nothing about it. No restraining order? And having sex with the cheating wife cemented my impression. At the end, Noah writes that he's done with that "shit show". Actually, the entire story was that. I'll be nicer than should be- 2 stars. Saddletramp1956's version was much better. For everything, this was 1-2 pages too long. Bob

The wife is batshit crazy! 5 stars

I never read the first story, but this was great.

The problem with MCs like this is they put themselves in a competition against the wife's lover. By doing so, he forfeits his status as a husband.

This story is very funny for the reader & not so much for the participants. Nicely done.

I felt like I just read 40 pages of the same shit over and over

The only good part is the end. This was 2 pages tooooo long. This guy is one of the stupidest morons you could write about. How many RED flags does he need. He married an evil CUNT who has no respect for him. But then no one respects a clueless loser. So no wonder why she used him just for the convenience he provided.

He was definitively a cuckold.

His Wife finally disgusted him enough to realize it and a grew some spinal stiffness.

He even seemed like next time he wouldn't sit around stewing like A good cuckold if his next partner pulled something similar.