All Comments on 'Cheyenne's Revenge Ch. 05'

Have appreciated this little series.

This was a really fun read, and hot too. Keep writing. And my compliments to the proofreader.

Thanks for sharing.

Taylor is a fascinating set of contradictions. So hard and emotionless but secretly rather soft.

Cheyenne and Sierra are very confusing. When Taylor drags Joe back to the apartment, Sienna seems really hot for Taylor. But once she get to Taylor's apartment, she seems to only want to take advantage of him as part of her wanting Cheyenne. And Cheyenne seems to be so focused on what she wants from and for each of them that she doesn't think about Taylor and Sienna's relationship at all. She ends up seeming selfish even while being giving.

Fun, caused this one to put a bit of a show on

an interesting tale, out of the ordinary, and fairly well-written. I've given you fours all the way through.

I did not care for the story

Read like some 20, or even younger, male fantasy

He could not leave cheyenne in her condition after the party. however he could let nick and friens rape her at work so he could plan out beating them up? and of course all the women loved him. men feared but were jealous?

Kid fantasy

You really , REALLY need an editor.

Your story read exactly as a private investigator story from the 30's and 40's. Whoever said you need an editor is an idiot. As for someone trying to tell you that your characters didn't fit what they wanted? They should write their own stories. Fabulous!

To be honest I like the legbreaker/boyscout in both stories I've read about him. I have seen people ignore crying half naked women to avoid getting involved, and it makes me sad for our species. We need more problem solvers like him in real life instead of the problem avoiders we currently have.

Awesome. Great job!!!

Taylor could have used a bit more development before chapter one started. If this story wasn't for Lit, with the common perception of the contributors being you have to get to sex immediately, or your work will be rejected, ('apology' at begininng of chapter one is prime evidence of this assertion.), Taylor would have likely got the needed character development.

Your story's premise is not unique. It was invented & mastered by John D McDonald, in his Travis McGee series, (one of my favorite character's of all time; have the entire series, and re-read them every few years. In fact, your story has reminded me it's about time, again. So, thanks!).

Besides the main character needing a bit more development, there were a few things needing some work to make them more believable, from a human behavior standpoint, but a collaborating editor would have the most positive influence with that.

Thanks fir sharing your imagination, and thanks for all the work it takes to out together a Lit submission, so we can have free reading.

GeoD

that I came across one of your stories, and once I finished it (ugly duckling), I couldn't help but take a look at your other works. Almost all of your stories that I read were an immersive and engaging experience, and I, especially, loved 'Grading the family'. It pains me to think that I had ignored your stories whenever they had popped in my searches, just because they didn't seem so eye-catching from the summaries themselves.

It saddens me to know that a lot of these stories are incomplete, but I understand. I just hope that life is treating you and your family better now, as the last update of your status was in 2018.

For this story, as much as I wanted Taylor and Cheyenne to officially get together (which didn't happen), I read your comment in a previous chapter, saying that this is more about Cheyenne and Sierra. All in all, this was an enjoyable read (like most of your work), and Taylor Eden has become quite a favourite of mine. Now, I'll read all your other stories, prioritizing the ones featuring this particular character.

I just want to say-

Thank you for writing and take care!

Thank you very much. Taylor Eden was fun to write. Right now I'm trying to keep to my New Year's resolution to respond to all comments and so for, its working. I need to reexamine so many of my old works to see what I can get back into continuing. Wish me luck.

Thanks again and take care,

James aka FinalStand

Good luck to you, sir! It's good to know that you are still connected to your readers and this site. I had actually expected that my message would go unread, when I typed it. It feels good to be proven wrong. It's good that you feel like getting back into this, and I'm sure your readers would be delighted, but try not to overexert yourself. In any case, I'll be looking forward to your next story post or update. Take care.

a little scattered in the story flow. why invite Nick and new GF and have a party if you like to keep a low profile???? good sex but makes no sense

An EXCELLENT story,that I feel may have lost some of its momentum in this final chapter.

Please consider having as editor check your work as for some reason you seem to spell out as cut in a number of places.

I will be looking for further work involving Taylor Eden as he appears to be an interesting central character with whom many stories could be developed.

Thank you for publishing your excellent work on this site, allowing us an insight into your imagination.

Indeed a great series, well thought out and written with plenty of angst, drama, loving feelings and sex. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.