All Comments on 'Chili in Church'

so he turned down a smoke show young and fit celebrity to fuck a fattie and a toothless septuagenarian?

LMFAO! Enjoyed it CDT60. 5 stars. I needed a good laugh.

Ridiculous

I've been looking forward to your next release and it never disappoints me.

Very funny I liked It

Chili, women and church make for a bad story. For a religious man he swears like a trucker (haha). For a religious man and religious women, fucking in church when the place is full of chili lovers seemed ridiculous and unbelievable. We never find out if the kids are his or why they don't visit him. We never understand why his wife married him or why he would give her a nickel more than he absolutely had to. A blowjob melts his mind as an excuse? Seems lame. While I appreciate your "tongue-in-cheek" attitude while writing, sometimes you get lost in the over-the-top parts.

3 stars

1. Burn themselves doing naked cooking

2. Stick weird things up their butt and can't get them out

3. Have a fish or lure hook stuck in their body doing naked fishing

Minus one star for every page after page 1. All that chilli nonsense, secret church sluts and threesomes? Plus he lets the wife touch him? Yuck. No DNA, no talk with the children? An all round improbable story. 1 star.

SEND YOU A RECIPE?? Hell I was going to ask you to send me yours! Damb good yarn mate, really enjoyed it. Really something different. Thank you!

Chili Colorado - Recipe

Chili Colorado is a traditional Mexican recipe of pork or beef stewed nice and slow in a rich red chili sauce, hence the name "colorado", which means "colored red"

Ingredients

FOR THE SAUCE

6 ancho chili peppers stemmed and seeded

6 guajillo peppers stemmed and seeded

3 chiles de arbol stemmed and seeded

1 teaspoon Mexican oregano

½ teaspoon cumin

Salt and pepper to taste

FOR THE CHILI

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 small onion chopped

2 jalapeno peppers chopped (optional – I like the extra heat and flavor)

2 cloves garlic chopped

2 pounds beef chuck roast cubed (1/2 cubes)

¼ cup flour

Salt and pepper to taste

2 cups beef stock chicken or vegetable stock are good, too

Instructions

Make the sauce first by dry toasting the dried peppers in pan about a minute per side, until the skins blister a bit.

Set them into a bowl and cover with hot water for 20 minutes, until they are very soft.

Transfer the peppers to a blender with oregano, cumin, a bit of salt and pepper, and 1 cup of the soaking water. Blend until nice and smooth.

Strain the sauce and set aside.

Heat a large pot to medium heat and add the olive oil.

Add the onion and peppers and cook until softened, about 5 minutes.

Toss the cubed chuck roast in the flour with a bit of salt and pepper to coat them.

Add the garlic and coated beef to the pan. Brown the beef on all sides, about 5 minutes or so.

Add the red sauce and stock and bring to a quick boil.

Reduce the heat, cover, and simmer for at least 30 minutes to let the flavors develop. Longer is better.

If you’d like to thicken the chili, remove the cover and increase the heat. Cook until the moisture cooks out and your preferred thickness is achieved.

Over the top as always!😁👍👍👍👍👍

Disjointed and unconnected. Cliche filled.

she had given me beautiful babies and many good years of marriage

When were those good years? You said she was probably cheating from the beginning. There were no good years. Were the kids his?? Could have been interesting plot point but dropped as soon as you wrote it

Bought a big condo in case kids visit, but they had not in years? Why? Could have been interesting

All the people at church knew including reverend? Yet he helps them in the ponderous chili cook off plot? Why? Is he not angry at them? They could have saved him years of her cheating.

Who was the best friend wife ended up with. You mentioned at beginning but dropped it.

You need editor desperately.

Well ok it was for fun anyways. Thank u author.

It is nice to see someone not take things too seriously

Why hire a private investigator? You don’t need proof of infidelity to get a divorce, just see a lawyer.

Likewise, if there was no proof of infidelity, would he remain married and miserable? I mean, why bother?

So already your story makes no sense.

A bit too far off the rails for me.

However, there are truly plenty of older women still revved up for fun who seem to kick it up a notch after they get thrown aside or widowed. So even if it was a little out there, I did enjoy it all the way through.

fount1

/fount/

noun

1.

a source of a desirable quality or commodity.

"our courier was a fount of knowledge"

2.

LITERARY

a spring or fountain.

There is a jump from all of the chili was finished back to making the chili.

Damn!! I'd love to visit your crazy world. Your stories are a great antidote to a shitty world. Thanks for your efforts.

I loved it! Excellent twist at the end, but it got 5* from me. Thanks for the read!

Munchie184

Nice fantasy, Thanks

Very funny and entertaining story. I really liked the change of pace.

There is a good two page story buried in there somewhere.

You need an editor.

Fun story, well-deserved divorce, and chili too!

I don't know about the narrator's recovery rate, but more power to him.

I obviously belong to the wrong church. LOL

I rapidly grew tired of all the self pity and righteous whining but had to give up with the talk about hotel records. How in hell would he aquire records dating back ten years? Which hotel would leave themselves open to legal action by giving confidential guest information to some dodgy PI. and yes he was dodgy, any self respecting or above board detective also wouldn't leave himself open to charges of bribery and corruption. So I skipped to the end to read the same old drivel how he became the irrisistable sex God. I understand this is fiction but please have a little believability.

Just too silly to give a good rating to. Skimmed most of it.

Great story. Five at once and two are your ex and her lover?? Love the chili cookoffs.

So over-the-top that it made me laugh.

But...a cup of salt?!? Only if you are cooking in an industrial sized 200 gallon vat. ;-)

Very fun

More about making chili than I want to know.

Love your stories they are so much fun to read. Thanks for the story, the efforts to write it and the time spent on it.

I think that you ere still living up to your name . Thank you sir.

Brilliant, funny, sexy as fuck. Top marks?

Still crazy after all these years!

5

So are you sharing your chili recipes?

Put off the hot mum and daughter in lingeree till later?? Head injury this hubby has

Difficult to read and follow...it kept repeating stuff that happened over and over.

Pretty good Dave, now can I please get your recipe for the Black Bean Chili?

Wow, lots of low hanging fruit with this one.

Here's my contribution. Try reading your previous paragraphs before writing succeeding paragraphs, that way maybe you won't say the same thing over and over, paragraph after paragraph. After you get the redundancy and repetition under control you can then work on substance. As in, don't write about minute details and long explanation and descriptions that have absolutely nothing to do with the plot.

He fucks several of the chili volunteers , fine. Why do we need to know every fucking detail about the chili, the ingredients, the cookware, and how much of each type of cookware was needed, and who got it for him, and where it came from. Uh, you forgot to tell us what cuts of beef he used, and what brand chili powder.

Then we have to hear him whine about how trusting he is. He tells his wife that being gentle is not the same as being weak, find. Being trusting is not the same as being ignorant, as in IGNORING what is going on with your spouse, for years. He didn't deserve to be cheated on. He totally deserved to be repeatedly cheated on for years, to a selfish lying unethical immoral woman, whom he thought was a good loyal loving wife. Might as well have a woman claim that she didn't know her boyfriend was cooking Meth in the basement. His denial and claim of innocence is bull shit. Man up and pay attention. Women are human, subject to temptation, trust that!

Whatever. Just tedious and irrelevant and too long, ruining what could have been a really tight dramatic and entertaining story. It snot.

Take that energy and enthusiasm and add some discipline and focus. And have some people who's opinions you value read your stuff before you submit it. That would help.

Still, thanks for the effort.

If super-hubbie was such a well-hung stud, why did his wife cheat on him for decades? As soon as it became known that he was getting a divorce, every hot woman he encountered threw themselves at him... so why would the wife ever jeopardise her marriage to a man like that?

The wife claimed to love him and seemed genuinely upset that he hated her now... but why? She treated him with contempt and cut him off in the bedroom for 4 years. Why? She'd been successfully cheating on him for 10+ years with dozens of lovers, why make him suspicious by cutting him off completely? None of her actions make any sense at all.

I like stories where the husband quickly moves on from a cheating wife, but they have to be at least semi-plausible with half-way realistic characters or it quickly becomes ludicrous.

Ha! Fantastic--the best chili fuck yet.

Good story deserves a at least four 🌟🔯🌟🔯🌟🔯🌟 ratings.

Ali Singapore

Brilliant!

You have to publish your chilli recipe

It must be the perfect aphrodisiac......it even warms up a cold wife!

I just love your stories, always have. This one is just great.

Scores 5/5

Always cook the meat, spices, onions, and garlic together. Always. That explains your embarrassing loss in church and why you missed out on the orgy.

Hm, at the beginning it was a serious story about a cheating wife but ended as a funny story to lough about.

The unanswered questions: Why did she cheat at all, why did she cut him from sex for years but gave him willingly a blowjob with her girlfriend?

The story kind of went from being a straightforward cheating wife story, to being opera bouffé. Reading the first part I wanted to know what the hell was up with the wife,was she lesbian and married for convience? Why did she reject John otherwise? Were the kids his? Then it becomes this over the top mess, so bizarre. I appreciate satire and tongue in cheek humor but this just didn't hell one way or the other.

LOL, a bit of a slow burn from CrazyDave this time, usually his stories ramp up from zero to 60 in by the end of the first page, took this one a while for the inevitable M+F+F+F+F+F orgy-mania, or as Wayne and Garth would call it, the "Mega-Happy Ending".

This was absolutely ridiculous and perfect. I could not stop laughing.

Good but had to subtract points because real chili does not have beans

CDT, you earned five stars for this ribald classic-to-be.

Good, fun, story! However, there is a fatal flaw in the plot line. GOOD chile NEVER has beans in it. But then, you admitted that it was all fiction, so I forgive you. Next batch of Red Chile that you make, add a healthy sized dollop of Hatch chopped green chile to it. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Naaa, not for me, but then it wasn't written for me, so there you have it. Too damn much chili b.s. in this and elderly, toothless anal freaks make me go a limp one...

I love it, AAAA++++

The sorta raac ending ruined the whole entire story

Deranged

No sense in reading this sensless dribble.

A chili party this story is indeed. Pick up any and all rotten meat, stale beans and shitty vegetables and cook it with a lot of spices... Voila, ready to be "enjoyed".

Fun, fantasy story.

Bible study hilarious

The only thing missing was the Swedish Bikini Team bus breaking down in front of the house.

It was like a teenage mastabatory fantasy.

3*. Sorry, couldn’t give it more than that.

I get the fantasy but the wife should've been left out in the cold

To err is human, to forgive, divine.... (A. Pope)

Out and out the most imaginative tale I've read on Literotica in a long time! Kudos and many, many thanks for one hell of a rousing yarn! More!

Thats some church

Ridiculous

Fucking multiple women -- really delusional tale. May be of interest for some, but certainly not me.

Fun story, loved it!

I like your stories, but they are utterly fucking insane. In a good way, not in a "stabbed and left for dead" way. But insane nonetheless. 5*