All Comments on 'Chocolate Nights'

keep writing ,got my rocks off.

Thanks!

Nice build-up, decent characters and steamy sex.

Cheers!

This was one the best stories I've read in a long time.

And the buildup though.. superb👌.

That story was so realistic I managed 2 climaxes if only my sister had done all that for me I would have been in heaven

WOW fucking hot made me cum from just reading from my phone.

I have never commented on a story before. This one motivated me. Very erotic.

Perfect, just absolutely perfect, it doesn't get any better. Thank you for this amazing writing...

Didn't mind it at all

I got off like three or four times reading this. My pussy is wore out with a bit of help from a special someone while reading it. Fuck that was good. Keep it Up.

TBC

Great Story one of the best I've read

Love chocolate but love sex too , My brother and I have enjoyed all but the anal .

We may try that now .

You need to read through it and clean up some of the errors and mis-spellings.

The sex was good enough, but it took too long to get to it, we got the idea early, go for it. Good overall though

Great Story ^^

Gave it four stars. The theme, build-up, and sex were very good during the first three pages but, personally, I lost interest after having to read around all of the choppy sentences, misspellings, words that were either missing or shouldn't have been there and incorrect punctuation...all can be, and are, very distracting to the reader's concentration on the flow of the story...that is, unless the reader actually talks, spells and writes the same way in every day life (unfortunately, good English etiquette is not taught as much as it used to be).

Keep writing, you appear to know how to write a story, but I suggest using the services of an Editor (such as myself or many others) before submitting your next story. I wish you luck!

Such a decadent sister plucking the sweet virginity of her brother along with enjoying chocolate. Helga was the more worldly of the siblings, but I can't fault her for taking something as naughty and fulfilling as sex with her brother. A very good read and it seems the siblings have more instances of gratification. The sister indulged herself and, perhaps it is time for the brother to find his fetish. It's all up to imagination; isn't it?

RS

As others have written, you need to re-read and edit the poorly formed sentences that distract at the most inappropriate times; a great story line though and one capable of development

Do people really have an issue with a few minor errors???

It was a great story. Thank you for sharing it with us!

"When Sean saw his sister leaning down and beginning to lick her cock ..."

Thanks all for the comments. The current version should have less issues with grammar and typos.

(As I said at the top: English isn't my first language and finding/keeping a good editor isn't as easy as it sounds. Even those that offer themselves.)

You have a sure and delicate touch that is both sexual and sensual. And English isn't your first language? Truly amazing! The mistakes are minor; and the story is so good, I skip over the few words I don't understand. Thank you for writing. Please write more.

Just awesome. Also; your'e English is near perfect. The mistakes are minor and just fade away against the quality of the story. Job well done. Thanks.

I am so hard right now, after reading this lushious brother-sister tale, and sorely wishing I had such a gorgeous, uninhibited sister!

Let the fucking begin. Mom and dad need to get in on the action; can't wait.

This is a wonderful story, well told. Yeah there are a few mistakes, but I ain't no English teacher, just a horny old guy, so who the f*** cares. I'd read another chapter if you wrote one. Thanks

I need a brother of my own... Damn

Where to start,well lets begin with Sarah,to me Sarah is nothing but a cold frigid bitch,and Sean should dump her prudish ass.Next Helga at times seems like a total slut,disregarding Sean's feelings but then after they kiss and talking,maybe Helga gets caught up in the moment during sex,but calms down and remembers how wonderful Sean is,afterall he bought her expensive Valrhona Chocolate and she shows her brother her appreciation by letting him fuck her mouth,pussy,and ass.

Technically I think Helga should also break up with her boyfriend,as Sean is the perfect guy,he doesn't lie and call his sister a slut like her boyfriend probably does,Sean also compliments her by calling her sexy & hot.Hell Sean should just come right out and ask Helga to be his girlfriend and start dating.I've seen stories where brothers and sisters date each other,why not them,its no bodies elses business except theirs,maybe eventually have them get married and live happily ever after.

I loved it very much. The ending was perfect. The beginning was a little slow -- too much chocolate?, but the build in pace was excellent. Did I say I loved it?

As to your English: Man, you are way better than many authors I like to read. Nothing disrupted the flow. Thank you.

I've read many stories, most of them good ones. But i really like this one, a damn good one. Keep up the good work, because i think you are really good at it.

kind regards

vonLassen/DK

One of the most amazing erotic stories I have ever read and honestly I’ve been reading them for 20+ years, this one is the tops, you are an amazing writer, keep up the good work flowing

As a non-native english speaker, you are near perfect in grammar and story pacing. A couple of minor mistakes - dildos are silicone and we are monotheistic, so exclamations with God should be singular, not gods. Keep up the great work!

Hard to believe. English isn’t your first language. Well done.

Good story.

Confusing in places, but overall it's good.

The only observation. The chocolate melts at 32°C (cocoa butter).

Therefore it can not harden on the body.

wow, that was a very very nice read.

Very Hawt, und Romantique!

11/10 Bon-Bons!!!!!

OMG! Talk about rubbing one out. That was freaking erotic! I loved every word. Thank you. :-p

Excellent. Well written erotic story. Chapter 2? Loved your statement that Sean's first sexual experience was with a gal that loved sex. One of my friends once told me even the bad sex he had was great. Ah, no it wasn't.

I realize that the chocolate was a plot device, but it still felt to me like you took it a bit too far. She could have easily just taken a couple of bites, gotten turned on, and then masturbated. The chocolate dildo and pouring chocolate on her nipples and her brother's dick was just going too far.

I also lowered your score because this was nothing but a fuck piece. Sean and Helga never showed any emotional connection between them. 3/5

No idea how I missed your. stories. That will soon be corrected!