All Comments on 'Choices and Sacrifices'

I can see Keegan and Sabrina being a really cute couple, but I also feel like Bethany will be a psycho girlfriend or ex-girlfriend and come after them.

Keegan is in trouble now. I wonder how long he is going to string the girlfriend along or when will he tell Sabrina he has a gitlfriend.

I hope he is smart enough to do the right thing before he end up too deep into some messy drama.

Intriguing start.

Five.

Great start. I love Keegan and Sabrina as a couple already, only problem is he has a girlfriend. I wonder how Keegan will deal with his relationship with Bethany, will he break up with her or cheat? Either way she seems crazy, so she probably won't give up to easily.

Add more soon, can't wait to read more.

Great start and welcome back. Love Keegan and Sabrina. Looking forward o the update.

I like the development but I'm not sure that you really described Keegan to us. I just know that he has dreads.

please give us more, what a wonderful opening to this story.

I am enjoying the pace and ease in which the characters interact. If you could add a little more description to Keagan and Quincy. Waiting for more.

This is great - and welcome back! I like these characters. Their backstories sound like they will be intriguing. Gotta love a man with locs...just sayin' LOL! 5 stars

So happy you started writing and posting again. Very excited for the next chapter.

This story seriously needs to be edited. You have a nice plot going, but it's ruined by using the wrong word to convey what you want to say. The word is wrong in that it doesn't mean what you think it does. This is not just a one off, but it's throughout the story. Everyone who writes starts out making a lot of mistakes, the trick, if you want to progress, is to learn from constructive criticism.

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You also have some odd phrasing that interferes with trying to figure out what you mean. The way you describe a situation doesn't always make sense. Obviously, you want to be a better writer and I mean no disrespect, but you need to learn about the basics. There are a lot of tips on Lit. I know research is a pain in the rear end, but it can only make your writing more enjoyable.

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I had to stop reading after the second chapter, there was just too much distracting me from what could be a good story. Thanks for sharing your stories and keep writing.

I love her I thought she was gonna be innocent and cutesy and I was like Coco, No, but then I read on and she's sassy and funny and I love it. Keagan is a little too green for me but I'll read on, besides you cant go wrong with a dreaded guy.

For starters you have the beginnings of a really nice story. But there are sooo many words and phrases that are confusing as hell. Like please stop using the word "contempt" for the word content. Contempt is like hate or feeling something is worthless and you're using to describe a nice sound she made. Sentences like this one are confusing.

"He looked around his room and groaned at the hideous green-blue that had made it so difficult to make love to any woman who stepped foot inside that hadn't been his mother."

This makes it sound like he made love to his mother. Which threw me off like what the fuck kind of story is this? I think you should have an editor or a beta proofread for you to make sure this doesn't happen. Or read your senrences out loud to someone and they'll tell whenever it doesn't make sense. Other than that nice start I look forward to reading more.

-Christina

Lol she's so wrong that drool thing

I couldn't help but notice that he referred to himself as Sawyer. I giggled when I saw that, and was like: "hahah that's a Match Met reference!" My roommate was thoroughly confused. Great start though.

I have had to only give 3 stars for part one, but I’m hoping part two gets better, it was a lot of build up words, that might or might not be worth reading, I can’t see where it is going for now