All Comments on 'Chosen Ch. 01'

But waaay too short!

Ewwwww!

Good start but way too short. Your story does have promise. Good Luck

Good start :-)

Good start.

Nicely written

Hopefully ch 2 will appear soon

Apparently the king is on a Viagra IV drip if he is going to be fucking that many girls at one time and is still getting blow jobs and shit beforehand. Geez. His dick is going to fall off lol

Promising start, looking forward to reading more!

it is a little bit strange that the king have to be the first for all the girls that come of age. I hope there will be more details about how is that possible and the rituals in the next chapters

A little bit suspect. I can't see an entire kingdom of men cuckolding themselves and becoming sloppy seconds to one dude. At some point, the fucking moron gets a sword in the throat from one or all of his guards, every single one of whom have had their wives virginity taken. Uh, yeah. Right.

Look up "Droit du seigneur". The right of feudal,lords to the virginities of their serfs' daughters.

research what the hymen actually is before making it such an important plot device: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen

Lisette80, This story has great bones. Keep it up and don't let the naysayers get you down. It seems that many forget what the work fiction means, and that if they don't like the story they don't have to read it.

about realism. seriously i know it's not suppose to be hundred percent realistic it has a fantasy feel to the story plot and the fact about the king taking the virgins well that was actually done back in the dark ages by the lords demanding their rights to take the virginity of the bride.

so please back off I really want to see where this is going ;)

Isn't the plot the king taking virginity? It seemed more like an education in sex as opposed to the anatomy of a hymen. Read many of the other stories in this section. Most of them haven't a clue where the hymen is. An anatomy lesson doesn't seem to be the basis of this story. Jesus.

Also, it's supposed to be fiction, right? I don't think that all the stories about men kidnapping women and using them for sex, punishment, abuse, etc are true. Or realistic.

Story is good, needs some development and more. Don't know how many chapters are planned, but maybe the story can just conclude with 1 more longer chapter? Just my suggestion.