tagGroup SexChristian College Sex Comedy Ch. 33

Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 33


*Children must face the scrutiny of their parents*

*I have many people to thank for this chapter; readers who kept in touch, Steve and Shawhollow for editing and about a half-dozen feedback artists who told me what I was doing wrong and what more I had to add to a make the story work. Thank you all.*

(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)

So, it was Friday, Homecoming Day at FFU, and several dozen of us were not doing what we were supposed to do but I wanted this headache taken care of before the rest of the day's festivities. All the Advocates were gathered as was Ms. Goodswell as a Student Advisor. Other people were gathered to observe the spectacle and guessing which way I would jump.

This first major crisis of my role as Mediator since the creation of the Janissaries wouldn't have been complete without Iona, my trusty sidekick, and Rio, my chronic pain in the butt/truest friend. In fact, Rio was the reason for this meeting. She had been given the writing assignment of 'place the writings of a juvenile/young adult story into an adult setting'. The train wreck wasn't hard to foretell.

Rio had chosen four works of the late, lamented Dr. Seuss (if he wasn't dead he would be after reading halfway through Rio's creation). Rio had attacked the project with a gusto that made Ms. Tucker, her English instructor, hopeful that Rio was finally fitting in (read: conforming). Rio turned in the pornographic Tales of a Cat with a Really Big Hat on Tuesday.

Ms. Tucker had flunked the effort and dragged Rio down to Dr. Victoria Scarlett's office but that senior educator had volleyed this time bomb into my lap. I promptly told them to pick an Advocate and get back to me after dinner. Rio Talon/Christina Buchanan's argument had been that the vagueness of the instructions allowed for a liberal interpretations of the assignment.

Athena Varna (representing the rest of Ms. Tucker's class)/Joy Jefferson had argued that the standard was what 'any reasonable individual going to a Christian school would find acceptable' as their defense, which meant that it wasn't acceptable in their opinion. Two days of mediation went nowhere and I wasn't going to let this matter fester through the weekend.

I had called all the concerned parties to join me after breakfast and received Dr. Scarlett's blessing for missing Assembly where many of the students and their families were gathered in our daily religious/social function.

"Okay, I've given the matter serious thought and I saw merit to both arguments but I found Ms. Jefferson's argument to be the more compelling," I led off. "We live in a society; each person should be free and act with freedom but that cuts both ways – we have to give our society some support to retain our harmony. This is my judgment."

"I would hope that since Rio did make an exceptional effort in her creative writing work that Ms. Tucker would consider allowing Rio one additional week to make up the assignment since this is one-quarter of her grade and her effort, while misdirected, was acknowledged as a vigorous attempt. That is my suggestion anyway," I said hopefully since I wasn't sure if I could instruct a teacher in any manner, much less order a do-over for Rio.

It took a few seconds for my words to sink in. This was hardly re-writing the Charter of the Commonwealth of Virginia but it did mean I'd ruled against my best friend and the woman I wanted to marry and several girls looked at me in some disbelief that I hadn't gone that way.

"Thank you Mediator," Joy was the first to offer me her hand – and she was still technically the enemy, being in the Traditionalist faction here at school.

"Your argument carried the day, Joy. I'm pretty sure there was no favoritism involved," I smiled.

"I will get you next time," Christina came up and shook Joy's hand. She turned and clasped my hand after that. "You were wiser than I thought you'd be," Christina winked to me.

A few people came by and went through the same routine until Rio approached last of all. She hit me in the shoulder causing multiple heads to swivel our way.

"You threw me under the bus Bitch," she laughed.

"Don't look so surprised," I rubbed my shoulder, "you built the bus I rolled over you with, ya Deviant."

Iona gave me a shy wave right before she slipped out to go meet her parents and most of the girls did likewise. Finally it was Ms. Goodswell, Christina, Faith, Rio and myself.

"Faith and I will polish off the minutes of your final decision Zane," Christina said before turning her imperious head away and leading Faith out to do what seniors do.

"So, are you two going to be hiding out all day?" Virginia Goodswell looked Rio and my way.

"I would but two dozen over-eager and overly-endowed students have asked Zane to be available to meet their ancestors or some other such cheesy crap," Rio ranted. "Besides, I'm sure there is some law or ordinance that causes the rest of you to never leave me alone."

"Yes Ms. Talon," Ms. Goodswell said with some gravity, "That is the Self-preservation Act of 1908. You are listed under 'Elements with Corrosive properties."

"Woot!" Rio hollered, "I'm a corrosive influence!"

"Thanks Virginia," I addressed my teacher and Spiritual Advisor, "like she needed more ammo."

Goodswell laughed and headed out toward the main campus while Rio and I headed for our dorm.

"I think I'm going to become a superhero," Rio teased me. "My X-ray vision will vaporize the panties off of unsuspecting stuck-up babes."

"Wasn't there a time when heroes were heroes and villains were villains; none of this gray crap?" I half-grinned.

"Zane," Rio sounded exasperated and but motherly aka Ma Barker, "you keep saving girls and they keep kicking you in the teeth."

"I look at it as opportunity to get back up again," I smiled.

"That's called masochism – look it up," Rio sneered.

"Let's go to my room," I said, rather redundantly, as we'd reached the elevator door and I'd hit the button. Rio became oddly close to me as we got on board and even let me wrap an arm around her. For me, being parentless today required I convince Aunt Jill that parking would be a bitch and I'd see her Saturday night – we had our first Marksmanship outing tomorrow morning in Kentucky so I'd would be back to have dinner with my sole family member.

Rio's parents hadn't asked Rio if she wanted them to come. They hadn't made any contact at all, denying Rio the ability to scream at her parents and tell them to 'fuck off'. Adding to the misery, Mercy's parents were here and everyone in our close circle had convinced Rio that being close to Mercy would be disastrous – in the belief that Rio had poor impulse control – imagine that.

When the end of Assembly sounded and the parents began exiting the building to join up with their kids we proceeded to my Solarium level of the dorm. The parents would meet their girl's friends, teachers the key members of their various clubs. We opened my 'vault' door and Rio led me upstairs then gave a start.

I slipped around her to see what the problem was – Cordelia Dresden. To her credit, Cordelia and her Time Lord Mafia had either been behaving or doing things in such a sneaky manner as to avoid my notice. Besides the three of us, only three freshmen girls occupied the rest of the floor, leaving us effectively alone.

"Hi Rio!" Cordelia led off, "Zane, I only want you to know you have our full support," was her cryptic statement that I was still digesting when Rio hurled herself at the slender brunette. Cordelia cried out as Rio toppled them both to the ground. Rio rose up on her knees and slapped Cordelia across the face.

"Get her off me," Cordelia screamed as she raised her hands to defend herself.

"What's the fucking secret you're hiding?" Rio growled.

"Yank Rio off me right now. Zane," Cordelia snapped as she took a second slap to the cheek. "You know what I can do."

"Cordy, Rio wants to live free or die trying so you might want to consider your next words carefully," I shrugged. "She prefers to exist free of fear. Rio, I'm going to the shake dispenser; do you want something?"

"A strawberry shake sounds good," Rio smiled as she began pinning Cordelia's wrists down.

Once she finished that maneuver, Rio glared triumphantly down at Cordelia.

"Great," Cordelia met that glare with one of her own, "what's your next brilliant plan; a little sexual assault to go with your brazen attack?"

"Nope, I'm going to drool spit on your face and ears Cordelia-baby," Rio answered then began swirling her tongue in her mouth to gather up her first glob of spit.

"Zane," Cordelia pleaded.

"Rio, let her up," I requested (Rio knew my vocal tones). "She's agreed to help you with your Mercy problem." Cordelia had done no such thing but Rio would need help dealing with her lover's parents and Cordelia could be a powerful ally.

Cordelia could lie her way out of things, except she would be lying to me and our trust was a fragile thing. If it was just Rio, Cordy would lie in a heartbeat but I believed I was somewhat special to her. Cordy said nothing and Rio got off of her. It wasn't Rio's style to offer Cordelia a hand up even though she knocked her down.

Rio joined me making shakes and grinned evilly.

"Cordelia, do you want a shake," I called over to her.

"Peach," she replied. Somewhat reluctantly she walked over to us. Cordelia, like Rio and me, had no parents coming.

"So, are you going to tell Zane what your secret is or do we go for the best two out of three falls?" Rio sneered.

"Let it be Rio," I nudged her. "It isn't something bad. If it was bad, she would have coughed it up already."

"I don't know what you see in this wacky Whore," Rio asked me – with Cordelia standing beside us.

"She's Ra's al Ghul to my Bruce Wayne," I explained. "How can I step beyond the streets of my own personal Gotham without her?"

"Wait, does that mean I'm Harlequin?" Rio mused.

"No, you are the Joker, Rio," Cordelia huffed, "and yes, that makes Mercy Harlequin."

"Cordy, there are times I wish you weren't so evil and manipulative," Rio observed.

"Titles such as Evil, like genius, are the hobgoblin of small minds," Cordelia countered. "Zane sees that, which is why I tolerate the rest of you."

"You just want to play jockey to his thoroughbred," Rio snorted.

"Never said I didn't," Cordelia bantered. Rio stole a look toward the door so I leaned into Cordelia.

"Thank you," I whispered. Cordy nodded.

"Pssst," Rio hissed. "Iona is here with a slightly larger version of herself and two guys who look vaguely related to her as well." I looked over and there was Iona pointing what had to be her mother my way. She didn't look furious but she wasn't beaming sunshine and happiness at me either.

"Scatter," Rio whispered. "Pissed off Momma on the way," before dashing off behind the showers.

"I'm gone," Cordelia gasped playfully, took her peach shake and slunk away.


"Mr. Braxton?" this conservatively dressed woman with a slight build and shoulder length black hair addressed me. I'd seen a few pictures of her on Iona's Facebook page.

"Mrs. Beckett, I am Glenn Zane Braxton but please call me Zane. Your daughter is one of my closest friends." She seemed to mull that over – whether to be stiff or to give me a chance.

"Zane, is there a place we can talk in private?" she inquired.

"Absolutely," I nodded then led her to the far corner and sat down on a sofa with her so that we could both look out over the changing leaves on campus.

"Mr. Brax – Zane, what are your intentions with my daughter?" she came right out with it.

"She was my second friend here and constantly supportive of my often precarious situation and she's never asked for anything in return," I stated. "I'd paint her house if she asked me," I continued, "or drive across country to help her move – she's that great a friend." I didn't brag about killing or even hurting someone for her, though I would, because that wasn't the kind of extreme friendship her Mom was looking for.

"Very well Zane, but I am worried about you and Iona in another way," she sidestepped. "You are an attractive young man and there are rumors that you have several girlfriends on campus."

"I think I can answer the real question with three statements of my own; the only person I have ever called girlfriend is Heaven Vickers, a senior here.

"I love Heaven's best friend, Christina Buchanan, and they are both aware of our relationship. Second, your daughter is the second-smartest, most level-headed, and most forward thinking young woman I have ever met; you have done a wonderful job raising her," I related. "Lastly, I have offered to have sex with your daughter twice and she's said 'no'."

"You did?" she studied me intently.

"And she was naked in bed with me both times. She's seen me have sex, too, but she's decided that when she's ready, she'll ask me and I'll say 'yes' because I'm positive that she will pick the moment when it is right for her and no one else."

"Wha – what?" Mrs. Beckett's eyes grew wide. "Naked in bed with you? And nothing happened?"

"Yes but I felt safe because I trust her," I said calmly. "You have to admit she is diligent and organized and she's not going to simply jump feet first into anything."

"I have to admit I was afraid you were taking advantage of my daughter's kind nature but you seem oddly frank about everything you two have done. I admit I expected you to be...more deceptive and evasive," she mused. "Do you have sex with any of the girls on campus?"

"Tons though, thankfully, things eased off with midterms approaching," I smiled.

"Is that so," she said in a clearly questioning tone. "I want you to understand that Iona thinks the world of you. She writes home every day and you often figure in her experiences – though I knew she was editing some things – like why she appears to be friends with Ms. Talon."

"When we started out, Rio and I were doomed to be expelled but Iona joined with us and together we survived some really rough times."

"I recall getting several letters from the Chancellor from that time. Was Iona in any danger?" she asked.

"Yes, she got a pair of bloody knees but please believe a whole lot of us were looking out for her," I responded. "Trust me, Ion has a fair number of friends who appreciate her numerous qualities."

"Mom," Ion called out as she came over. "I hope Zane hasn't been scaring you."

"Iona, it is only that you didn't have many friends in High School," her mother smiled at her daughter.

"Mom, I had no friends in high school but Zane gave me the courage and opportunity to come out of my shell," Iona interrupted.

"Zane says you two have been sleeping in his bed – naked," Iona's mother met her daughter with an even gaze.

"Yes," Iona blushed furiously, "but I bet he's also informed you that we haven't had sex," she leaned into her mother, "and there he lied."

Mrs. Beckett stared at me, a bit peeved.

"Mom, that is only because what Zane considers sex and what you would consider sex are two slightly different thing. Suffice it to say, I am still a virgin as far as the marriage bed is concerned," Iona assured her parent. "And I have Zane well in hand because I have control of his phone."

"I keep telling you that smarts count for more to in life than a model's good looks," Iona's mother reminded her daughter.

"I'm glad Iona has both," I chimed in. Both women looked my way then grinned.

"He is such a good friend Mother that I forgive his exaggerations," Iona reached over and kindly touched my cheek.

As that gesture ended, Iona's face grew shocked.

"Mom, I think we need to go see Mrs. Worsham's class now if we are going to get everything taken care of before lunch," Iona hurried her mother.

"It was nice to meet you Zane," we shook hands as we both stood as well.


I followed Iona's gaze and my heart stopped. It was Hope, looking so doable in her school-wear. With her were a petite woman, smaller and maybe a bit heavier than Hope, three more little Hope's in descending age and lastly, a male version of Hope, but this one was made out of Lego bricks – really big Lego bricks – it was Yeong Song.

Yeong Song had charisma in spades; he wasn't the Angel of Death – he had grabbed that punk by the short and curlies and taken over his job. That was how he appeared to me at that moment. Oh yeah and he was looking right through me. As if on cue, Hope smiled and whispered something to her father and they both came my way.

Imagine a choreographed interpretive dance troupe; you had Hope's three younger girls spread out over the middle half of the room, having fun with some of the few freshmen girls that were hanging around. Yeong was like his eldest daughter in the way they moved – you could tell they were walking toward you but I couldn't recall their feet moving or even hearing footfalls.

That was probably just my fear speaking. From personal experience I knew Hope was human with all our frailties and imperfections – she was simply more perfect than most.

"Father, this is my good friend Glenn Zane Braxton, who is known by the name Zane to both his friends and enemies," demurred Hope.

"Zane, this is my Father, Major of the Republic of Korea – retired – Yeong Song," she introduced her father to me. I extended my hand, he took it in a granite grip and gave it two sharp shakes. I stood there like an idiot but at least my heart was beating and I was breathing again.

"Your pulse is racing young man, your palms are sweaty and you are staring at me with dilated pupils," Yeong noted dispassionately.

"Well, since I've lain down with your naked daughter for a variety of bedroom antics on several occasions I naturally assumed you had come here to kill me," I blathered.

"You have been naked with my eldest daughter," he said in a way that could be contrived as a statement or a question.

"You didn't know?" I groaned. I wondered if this counted as suicide.

"You have honorable intentions toward my daughter," he informed me. Huh?

"No," I gulped. "I was thinking we could fool around – mainly."

"I understand you are the last of your line," he glared at me. Uh oh...wait.

"You know who I am so you must have already been told by Hope what's really been going on," I breathed a sigh of relief.

"See Father, Zane's not dense," Hope hugged her father's arm, "he's simply terrified of you."

"I noticed," Yeong (almost) smiled. "Mr. Braxton, I don't mind you seeing my daughter socially but please learn at least to fight as well as my youngest daughter – she's nine."

"You learn from people who are better than you, not from people you are better than," I tried to interject some wisdom into my pretty abysmal effort to date.

"Daddy," Hope pleaded hopefully.

"Mr. Braxton do you know the difference in combat between you and a highly skilled warrior?" Mr. Song said in an eerie penetrating voice.

"Ten years?" I shrugged because I didn't have a clue what the answer should be.

"No Mr. Braxton," he came on with that nightmarish calm, "you don't know when to stay down." Now I was a little pissed. Being able to take a beating was one of my few martial qualities.

"You are wrong," I let my anger seep through. Hope's face lost all expression.

"You always get up – you never stop fighting until you can't anymore," I grumbled. "If that means I have to break your Precision Hands of Death on my face, so be it." Yeong Song turned to regard his daughter; he finally let my hand go.

"He'll do," he told Hope, turned and walked toward where his youngest daughter was playing.

"What was that about?" I whispered to Hope who looked equally confused.

"I don't know – except – I believe he decided you would lay down your life for me," Hope studied my face as she finished that conclusion.

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