Christmas Cookie & Husband Exchange

Annie looked non-committal. Patricia looked at McNally and then at Dana. "Dana, do you need to talk about this Sander sighting, or do you need to stick to your plan?" asked Patricia.

"Yes. I have so much I need to talk to you guys about, but I need to be prepared and so do you before we talk. I need everyone to follow my schedule. Didn't I write to y'all and tell you to come on up because there might be a surprise?"

Flabbergasted, McNally asked, "So it's snacks, wine and a movie?"

Patricia shot a mother hen look at McNally to answer her question.

"Didn't you hear Dana? She needs to get to a good emotional place, then she'll get back to your agenda item McNally," Annie said to reinforce Patricia's mother hen look.

"Okay. But I know from our conversation on the way up here, we are all eagerly expecting a report on the first three days of Christmas, involving a partridge, two turtle doves and three French hens. Am I right ladies?" asked McNally with a jauntily cocked head as she searched the faces of Patricia and Annie, satisfied that she had gotten in the last word, as she so often likes to do.

Pleased that her plan was back on track, Dana perked up and poured a healthy amount of schnapps into McNally's mug, "You'll get all that and more, I promise," said Dana merrily.

"Did I hear 'Yule' get all that and more? If that's the case, then it's a Merry Fucking Christmas to all!"

The Chix laughed and thrust their mugs to the center in a collective toast, "A Merry Fucking Christmas!"

Dana set out the food, McNally poured the drinks as Annie filled the huge common bowl with buttery popcorn. "Should I bring over the naughty Christmas cookies?" asked Patricia. "I see there are a lot of uneaten pussies still on the tray. They are decorated so enticingly. It's a shame to leave an uneaten pussie on the table."

"No, those naughty cookies are for dessert! Leave 'em there," shouted Dana.

"Patricia, are there any large, tasty cocks left on that tray, or did Dana already eat them all?"

Dana jumped in, "Patricia, don't answer that. A girl has a right to keep her secrets - at least for a little while longer."

Dana got ready to roll the movie as The Chix settled in. "What's the movie?" asked McNally.

"A Christmas Carol, it's the classic tale by Charles Dickens."

"Damn. Not a Christmas movie? Did I ever mention that I am so over Christmas right now? Bah Humbug!"

Annie snorted, "McNally, you make a better Scrooge than Patrick Stewart."

"I'll drink to that," McNally said as she tipped her stemware to wash down a handful of popcorn. "Let me say it again, Merry Fucking Christmas, because I am so done with Christmas."

"Merry Fucking Christmas" was echoed around the room, followed by giggles among gathered good friends as the opening scene played.

Annie was dabbing at her eyes as Tiny Tim cried out in the movie's final scene, "God bless us, everyone!"

As the credits rolled, Annie turned to McNally, "Well, Ebenezer Scrooge, do you still hate Christmas? Or did the ghost of Christmas Future shake you from your Bah Humbug! ways?"

"I don't hate Christmas; I just get worn out by this time of year. Christmas has been going on since before Halloween and that's way too long, even for a vibrant spirit like me," replied McNally.

"Are you still so entrenched in your 'Bah Humbug' world-weary ways Ebenezer McNally or is it possible that visitations of the cinematic Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future have softened your hardened holiday heart?" pried Patricia.

"Don't be picking on McNally, she's just been more emotionally honest. I have heard Scrooge speaking through all of you. Chix, take a look inside and tell me if Christmas hasn't lost its magic for all of us this year, or for that matter, several years running." Dana's call for introspection brought the room to silence.

Dana continued, "Let me play Ghost of Christmas Past; let me take us back to time when we were young, and Sander and I stretched our budget and bought this cabin and had The Chix and their boys up here around Christmas time? Remember those times?"

"Those were the good days," recalled McNally. "I remember Orlando mixing exotic cocktails for everyone to try. The guys kept making sweet drinks and urging us girls to taste one new one after another. I'm sure they were in cahoots, working on the theory that 'Christmas candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.'"

Patricia chimed in, "Yeah, I remember that year, I remember laughing a lot of silly laughs and being chased around the cabin and out into the snow by three horny abominable snowmen until I finally let one catch me and haul me off to his lair where he threw me on the bed and ravaged me."

"I sort of remember that too - only I think I enjoyed Orlando's cocktails too much too soon to fully remember every detail. But I have a vague memory of laughing on my way to a strange bed as I hung over Nelson's shoulder as I pounded on his back as a captured maiden, but not really feeling much distress. I remember trying to help Nelson undress me, but I was too giggly, so he just ripped my clothes off."

Dana reminisced, "Anybody remember the year we all wore those sexy Santa's Naughty Elf costumes?"

"I still have mine in a closet somewhere I think," snickered McNally. "We put on a pretty good show for the guys that one year when we performed in those outfits. Thanks to Annie for sewing them," McNally tipped her glass toward Annie.

"It was your choreography McNally, and your audacious moves that gave me the confidence to bump and grind along with the rest of the Chix. I'd never have been able to even think of doing something so feminine and sexy if it weren't for you McNally," complimented Patricia.

"I still get wet every time I hear Eartha Kitt sing 'Santa Baby' and I think of how hot we Chix looked and how mercilessly we teased those boys," chuckled McNally.

"Speaking for me," said Patricia, "I'd say all of that dance practice and the sexy dance tips from everyone else showing me how to strut my wares. Our sexy little routine was well worth it a little later that night." All The Chix giggled and nodded with Patricia, each recalling the thrill of having their men rush the stage and cart off the four costumed naughty little helper elves for a roll in the sheets.

"Dana are you sure you're alright with us bringing up these memories?" asked Annie in a cautious tone.

"Annie, I've already told you that good memories and present friends are what are important to me tonight."

"Allow me to play the Ghost of Christmas Present," said Dana in a soft voice. "If the Ghost of Christmas Past has drawn for you scenes of past holiday lovers, good times and Christmas cheer; what do you see when the Ghost of Christmas Present hovers above your lives tonight and points to your actions and attitudes of this present Christmas?"

The Chix again sat thinking in silence.

McNally answered Dana's challenge first, "Well, I've already told everyone my grim view of this present Christmas. There is a poverty of spirit where I operate; Christmas has become nothing but joyless deadlines for me. I'll confess, 'Bah Humbug!' is truly what the Ghost of Christmas Present is pointing at in my life."

"Or would Scrooge use a more contemporary phrase, maybe something like 'Merry Fucking Christmas?" needled Patricia.

"Yeah but..." Annie joined in, "...Those really were Merry Fucking Christmases in the past - literally. Those years when we all used to come up here with our hubbies and enjoy playing games and cooking together, remember? And it seems like every night ended in a night of passionate love making," she added wistfully. "Why did we let that slip away? Where did the holiday love magic go?

"I have a confession too, McNally has nothing on me, I'm just as much of a Bah Humbug personality as McNally - if not more so. Only I'm just a Scrooge still in the closet. I guess it's time I came out to my friends. It was me who first suggested that I'd be ready to exchange Nelson for someone to clean my house. Honestly, how Scrooge-like is that?

"The Ghost of Christmas Past showed that Scrooge rejected his old flame, Belle, to pursue a respectable wealthy status above love. Like Scrooge, I've let the passion for my old flame, Nelson dim, and for what? A respectable status of a well cleaned house? I've been saying 'Bah Humbug!' from inside my Scrooge closet.

"I chided McNally for her poor attitude when we first drove up this afternoon," recalled Patricia. "But then I fell right in with her complaining about my grueling holiday schedule and all I had endured. So, I guess that makes me not only a Scrooge, but a hypocrite as well. How's that for a bare-bones confession to the Ghost of Christmas Present?"

"Excuse me," declared a mildly irritated McNally, "enough indulging in this group psychotherapy playing with literary ghosts. I can't stand it any longer, I've gotta find out from Dana if Sander's ghost is really visiting us here."

McNally's abrupt demand brought a heavy hush to the room.

All eyes were locked on Dana. "All I can say is that I came up to our cabin for the first time since the accident. I hoped I was ready, but I wasn't sure. The real reason that I invited everyone to join me was so I couldn't back out, even if I wanted to, since I had extended an invitation to The Chix. Patricia, Annie, McNally; you're my insurance as I forced myself to be a brave widow.

"I came two days ago for solitude. I thought I would be alone up here. I hoped I'd be brave enough to finally be alone with my thoughts. I was going to force myself to stay here until reinforcements arrived in the form of a carload of wild, raucous and fun-loving Chix.

"To my surprise, I had it all wrong. I was not alone here. Sander was waiting for me. It was good to find him here; he has been a comfort for me. I told him I was sorry for making him wait. He let me know that he understood why I waited. He assured me that it was alright for me to wait, coming only after I was ready.

"When Sander came to me the first night, he comforted me, bringing good memories of us in this place, like the Ghost of Christmas Past. He reacquainted me with faded memories of Patricia and Will, Annie and Nelson and McNally and Orlando all gathered in this place with me and Sander back in those days at the beginning. The images he brought to me made me feel grateful for all of you.

"I told Sander that those were lovely, warm memories, some of the best; but that they were far in the dim past. When Sander wrapped those memories around me; I felt warmth and saw a radiating brightness, happy for what we had once shared together. He said that that is why he had to brighten them for me; otherwise, neither I nor anyone else in those images would be able to clearly see them as they once were.

"I began to cry as those bright images of our past passions and fellowship with our friends began to fade before my eyes. I cried even more at the fear of losing him and everything good once again.

"He warned me that squandered time, tyranny of the mundane and careless love will steal from the human soul, draining the treasures of passion and good memories, leaving murky, pathetic sketches in place of those forgotten treasures. Sander let me know that I still had all of you wrapped around me to shield me with love. He was pleased that The Chix had taken such good care of me after he was taken from me.

"Sander told me he could not keep the past images bright, the power to do so was only given to the realm of the living.

"I cried in my grief and in my fresh fear of loss. I tried to hold him, but of course, I could not. I pleaded, 'How can I keep those memories of you and warm feelings bright?' I didn't know how to find the power to keep from losing all that was meaningful to me. I cried, 'Please Sander, show me, show me how not to lose you and everything again. Don't let me drain away into the murky darkness where all warmth and love have been stolen from the human soul.'

"I cried, kneeling on the floor. Sander said nothing as he stood close to me as a kind and gentle spirit with a comforting patience waiting for me to finish my hot tears. When I wiped away my tears and looked into his face, he pointed and guided me to look for my answer. I saw The Chix checking their messages, returning calls, checking their calendars trying to squeeze in a meeting, an appointment and a Christmas cookie exchange. I saw that we were rushing to the shopping mall, ordering online, checking our phones and returning home exhausted, drained of warmth and love, leaving nothing for those around us.

"I was shown Will, Nelson and Orlando taking the cars in for servicing because it was time. I saw these men checking their messages and making out-of-the way runs to pick up store items and a few groceries because their wives had sent them a text message. I witnessed The Dix on their own initiative coming home with a takeout meal that they served to their exhausted wives and then taking out the trash the night before pickup without a reminder. The guys were up late at night, opening the bills and writing the household checks and balancing the accounts, toiling like the loyal Bob Cratchit, Scrooge's unappreciated clerk. I had been shown Christmas Present. I was sad to have seen that exhausted misery spread to all of our present lives.

"I cried, 'Oh Sander, where is the joy and the love for our friends? Everyone looks so exhausted and joyless and without hope or purpose. Tell me Sander, what is going to happen to them?' Sander looked sad and did not answer me.

"He began to fade into the darkness, and I begged with renewed tears, 'Sander please don't go, please don't leave me alone again.' But he was gone.

I crawled off the floor, lifting myself into bed and cried myself to sleep. I remembered his words, 'Squandered time, tyranny of the mundane and careless love will steal from the human soul, draining the treasures of passion and good memories and leaving murky, pathetic sketches in place of those forgotten treasures.'

"When Sander slipped away from me that night, I understood that he had shown me that the same was happening to Orlando and McNally, Will and Patricia and also to Nelson and Annie. His visit was a warning. Just as I lost Sander, everyone here is facing a Christmas Future where you will discover that you've lost all that really matters in life.

"Sander came again the next night. I was glad to see him. I wanted to know if it was too late for our friends to rekindle the love that had somehow drained away. 'Please, Sander, tell me that there is yet hope for them this Christmas Season,' I begged.

"He showed me some bright and warm memories from long ago, some personal and some with The Chix. He showed me those visions to let me know that I still had love and support from you guys. But I was haunted by those visions of Christmas Present that I'd been shown the night before. He was happy that I was so well cared for now. And yes, he was happy to know that I got surprised by some needed loving attention from a partridge, a turtle dove hunter and an old barnyard rooster who had a few tricks to make a French hen cackle. Yet, the peril of the bleak Christmas Present remains, unless friendship and love is cherished and attended, it too will soon perish, and I'll see my friends fade away into murky darkness as Sander had.

"Again, I looked into his gentle eyes and asked, 'There is still time isn't there? We haven't squandered our time, it's not too late, tell me sweetheart, there are warm and bright memories of love and affection still to be made, nourished and cherished.' Sander smiled his warm smile of assurance that I had missed so much, and I was happy.

"I woke, realizing that the sun was shining off a fresh morning snowfall and I threw off my heavy quilt. I sat up in bed, remembering that on our last morning together; Sander had been working on something secret that morning before the accident. I remembered asking him, 'Sweetie buns, what are you working on the hill behind the cabin?'

"He smiled that warm, smug smile of mischief on that last morning that we were together and told me, 'I've got a Christmas surprise to show you tonight, it has to be revealed once it is dark. So, you'll have to wait until we finish a few runs on the slopes this afternoon.'

"Of course, we never came back here together. I had forgotten about Sander's promised secret Christmas surprise until yesterday morning. When Sander told me he had a Christmas gift waiting for me after dark, he was holding an electrical extension cord behind his back with his mischievous smile stretched across his ski slope tanned face. 'I'll plug this in to brighten your night tonight, as a token of how you have brightened my life,' he said. Recalling some of his last words, I jumped out of bed and checked this morning; that cord is still lying on the deck where Sander left it last year.

Annie was crying, as usual, but so were Patricia and McNally.

Dana reached for her purse and pulled out her phone and looked at her messages and began to text, as The Chix took a few moments to rein in their emotions and check their composure before speaking or asking Dana any questions.

Annie brushed her cheeks, "Oh Dana, that is the sweetest, saddest story I've ever heard... Excuse me, I can't stop weeping... I don't even know if these are tears of joy or grief... excuse me, I don't know what to feel or say," she said as the flood gates reopened.

Patricia felt it was her role to wade in and tidy things up and drain the emotional swamp in which they all found themselves wallowing in. "Dana, it sounds like you've started to find some peace after last year's events. I am glad that you shared with us how you are coping with Sander's passing..."

"Patricia, Jesus Christ on a bicycle! Don't be such a cold and analytical mother hen all the time for us Chix. Dana's story is not about coping, it's about us - all of us and all that we once had and what we might lose, including Will, Nelson and yes, Orlando too. Dana, your conversation with Sander really got to me there..." McNally paused, looking emotionally rattled.

"I guess everyone can tell, your story about Sander got to me also," said Annie after managing to dry out enough. "I feel like McNally. Dana, what you said really touched me; I don't know what to say... Yes, I actually do, I want to say that what Sander said is right; my joy has been stolen from my soul, I feel drained inside, I have let the things I hold most dear fade away. I am Scrooge - and I'm sorry, but so are all of you."

Turning to Patricia, Annie asked, "Don't you feel what McNally and I feel? Don't you feel that you and I and McNally, and certainly Dana, have lost something precious? Together as The Chix, we are a sum greater the whole - and that has, or should, include our husbands. I believe Sander told Dana to warn us all before it is too late. Patricia, don't you feel like me that we should do something before the Ghost of Christmas Future makes the vision of an estranged and murky end to all that we enjoy a grim reality?"

Patricia teared up and nodded silently. Then lifting her head, she asked Dana, "Is there hope? Did Sander give you hope for us?"

"There is hope. There is still love here, and where there is love, there is hope. Sander showed me that the future can be changed by what we do now. Sander showed me that there is hope for us, hope for The Chix."

"And... And... What is that hope?" asked McNally. "And... And... And I got lots of questions about you and Sander up here in this cabin, but first - that was a gripping Christmas ghost story with Sander, but it seemed kind of weird that as soon as you finished driving your emotional steamroller full speed over our sympathies that you then broke character, ignoring us to check your phone. Isn't checking your messages part of that tyranny of the mundane that Sander warned you about? Who is so important that you were texting them rather than dealing with us in this room and our emotions?"