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"So then what is it?"
Chris was growing impatient. She wanted Josh to spit it out.
Josh sensed this and dropped the bombshell.
"He's doing porn."
Chris' eyes widened.
"He's not like in the porn, I don't think, but he's definitely shooting it. He's got a website and everything," he said.
"I wasn't expecting that. That's gross," she said with disgust.
Josh felt strange for telling her this and even stranger for being excited about it. He could tell that she clearly did not find enjoyment in this news.
Zach Bolton lived five doors down from Chris and Josh. His apartment was the same size as theirs. In fact, every apartment in the complex was the same size. The owner of the property wanted to cram as many bodies into the space they had as possible to maximize profits.
"Told you. It's messed up. I think it's gross too," Josh lied.
And she knew he wasn't telling the truth. To Chris, all guys liked porn. She'd seen Josh's browser history enough times to know that he was into it. Porn wasn't something that Chris particularly enjoyed. In fact, sex wasn't something she was fond of in general. It had never appealed to her. Sex always seemed like a chore she did to help make Josh feel better.
Josh had been the second man that she had sex with, but she had lied and told him he was her first. Someone like Josh wouldn't understand the truth, so Chris told him a tiny little white lie. How would he ever know the truth? Her first time was with Jimmy Peters in the back of his mom's car a year ago. They had gone to the movies and Jimmy was driving her home. He decided to make a move on her while driving. Jimmy pulled the car over and Chris knew what was about to happen. Instead of fighting it, she went along with it and gave up her virginity in the least romantic way possible.
Chris' boyfriend had just told her that a guy they kind of new was making porn in his apartment. Even though the idea disgusted her, her mind started racing after hearing this news. Who was he making it with? What kind of porn was he making? Does the landlord know about this?
While she was deep in thought, she almost missed what Josh said next.
"Hey babe, Zach's coming over in a little bit," Josh stated.
Chris napped out of her haze.
"Wait. What? He's coming over here?" she asked in disbelief.
"He's been here before. What's the matter?" he asked.
Chris resigned and decided not to put up a fight.
"Okay, fine. Whatever. I'll be in the bedroom. Have fun," she said.
Closing the bedroom door behind her, Chris collected herself. She didn't object to Josh hanging out with anyone, but this didn't seem right. Why would Josh hang out with a guy he barely knows right after he tells her that he makes porn?
Chris found a show to watch online and tuned everything and everyone out of her mind. She had the bedroom door closed, so she could be in peace. This peace would be disturbed, however, when she heard the door to her apartment slam shut. She knew that Zach must be there.
She tried to turn her focus back to the show she was watching, but Zach and Josh were talking loudly. From the bed, their conversation was muffled. Curiosity got the best of her, as she set her laptop on her bed and got up. Chris inched toward the door and put her ear to it.
She could hear everything clearly.
"I can't believe you're doing this stuff," Josh said.
"Yeah, I mean, it's always been like a dream of mine," Zach responded. "Tell me you wouldn't want to be in my shoes."
Chris waited intently for her boyfriend's answer.
"Uh, yeah, that...that would be fucking awesome," Josh resplied.
Her blood began to boil. Her boyfriend had just admitted that he was jealous of their neighbor who was shooting porn.
Chris wanted to throw open the door; tell Zach to leave; and scold Josh for what he had said - but she thought better of it. She didn't want to fight. All she wanted to do was a night of peace after all the stress she had endured lately. Both of her jobs were wearing on her on top of struggling to pay the bills. The most important thing in her life was figuring out how to make ends meet - not chastising Josh.
"So what are you going to do?" she heard Josh ask.
"Well, man, I'm trying to find some talent - if you know what I mean," Zach answered.
Josh laughed.
Chris clenched her fist.
"I'm actually auditioning a girl tonight. She's a redhead that my buddy knows. She strips down at Shakers."
"By auditioning you mean..." Josh inquired.
Christmas rolled her eyes. Even she knew what Zach meant.
"We're going to fuck her," Zach laughed.
"We?"
"Not we, like you and me, dude. We, as in, my buddies and I."
Christmas gulped. This poor girl was going to have sex with multiple guys?
She wanted to hear more of the conversation, but she heard footsteps getting closer to her bedroom door.
In a frenzy, Christmas rushed to the bed and climbed on top of it. She threw her laptop on top of her so she looked like she had been there a while.
Josh opened the bedroom door and was met with the kind of smile your girlfriend gives you when she wants you to know she's mad at you, but doesn't want to admit it.
"Hey babe, are we making too much noise?" he asked.
Christmas closed her eyes and shook her head slowly.
"Great, love you," Josh said, before closing the door and heading back into the living room.
Christmas sighed.
She waited a moment before leaving her bed to press her ear against the door again.
"If everything goes good with this stripper, we're going to shoot tomorrow. If you can get away from the 'ol lady, you should swing by. The more, the merrier, bro."
Christmas' eyes widened. She couldn't believe that Zach would suggest that.
She waited impatiently for her boyfriend's response.
"If he doesn't say 'no', I'm going to kill him," she thought.
"Uh, yeah, thanks man. I might do that," he finally answered.
"Baller. I gotta get going. This bitch is going to be here soon. You know where I live," Zach said.
Christmas could hear Zach slapping hands with Josh and patting him on the back.
She darted to the bed and climbed back into it.
A lot of thoughts were swirling around in her head and she did her best to look preoccupied with something else in case Josh came in.
As if on cue, Josh entered the bedroom with a nervous smile on his face.
"Hey babe. Zach left," he said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Just watching some show," she lied.
"Look, I know you're mad at me because he came over, but I got him out of here," Josh said.
No, he didn't. Zach left on his own. This was Josh's first lie. She wouldn't have to wait long to hear his second.
"He told me about the porno he was going to make and I told him I didn't want any part of it," he said nervously.
Christmas glared at her boyfriend. She couldn't believe that he would humor the idea of being in one of Zach's disgusting porno movies - let alone lying to her twice afterward.
"Don't fight," Christmas told herself, "It's not worth it. Josh probably just wanted to look cool in front of Zach. Don't blow this out of proportion."
She successfully restrained herself, but it made her feel worse. The feelings she had were now tucked away and her boyfriend, Josh, would be none the wiser.
Christmas swallowed and closed her eyes.
She had always chosen the path of least resistance in life. She hated confrontation more than she hated anything.
Josh's betrayal and the tension in the room was making her extremely uncomfortable.
It was also making Josh uneasy. Instead of joining her in bed, he thought it would be best if he hung out in the living room again - maybe playing some video games until he passed out.
Chris didn't know he was going to do this, but it wouldn't bother if he did.
The next day, Chris walked toward the door to leave for work. Once again, Josh was passed out on the couch - which was covered in crumbs. A video game controller lay next to him. She sighed and turned the doorknob.
When she opened the door, she heard something fall to the ground - it was an envelope. Chris picked the envelope up once she was outside. After opening it, she discovered that it was a past due notice from their landlord.
Stress had become a common theme in her young life. It seemed that she had more than her fair share of it and most of it was completely out of her control. One of the things that bothered her the most was the financial stress that she, and Josh, had. The young couple had trouble paying for their cell phones, utilities, groceries, and now - their rent.
Chris finished reading it and this seemed to be their first final notice for unpaid rent. That reality was her only comfort in this situation. She figured she could use that as leverage when she spoke to their landlord. Maybe tell him that this was their first time being late and possibly get a break.
She looked at her phone and figured she had enough time to talk to their landlord before going to work.
Gary Walsh was the owner of Sunnybrook Apartments. He had a history of shady real estate deals on his record, but none of his tenants knew that - nor did he care if they did. All Gary cared about was getting his rent money on time at the first of every month.
At this particular moment, Gary was sitting in his office with his feet on his desk watching a small dusty television. He was watching "Conny Blair Live!" In this particular episode, a pregnant woman was trying to find out who the father of her baby was. She had slept with over thirty different men and had no idea who the daddy was.
"Stupid slut," Gary laughed.
He heard the door chime go off and looked over. Christmas entered his office with her head down. Gary sighed and took his feet off the desk and got up from his chair.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
While he never had a problem with late rent from Christmas and Josh, he figured by the way she was carrying herself, and that it was the first week of the month, that she was here to talk about being late.
And he was right.
"Um, yeah, Mr. Walsh. I-I got your notice on our door this morning," Christmas said, still looking at the stained white tile floor she was standing on.
"Yeah?"
"Well, I'm really sorry. We're really sorry. We didn't mean to be late. It's just that, things have been really hard. My boyfriend is between jobs and I'm working two. It's-it's just been really hard to-to pay for everything," she said.
Gary sighed a second time and rolled his eyes. If Christmas bothered to make eye contact with him, she would have seen his frustration.
"Look, I haven't had a problem with you or your little boyfriend, but fair is fair. You two are late and if you don't have the money in five days, I've got to kick you out."
Christmas felt like someone had just punched her in the stomach. She felt sick and wanted to cry. She didn't have the courage to argue or to ask for leniency.
"Yes sir, we-we'll have your rent. I'm sorry," she said before turning around and leaving his office.
The shrewd landlord shook his head and sat back down at his desk to finish watching television.
She arrived at the Fantasy Shop and still had five minutes to spare, so she decided to call her mother and ask for help.
The thought of asking her mother for money made her feel even more sick, but she didn't have a choice.
"Hey, mom," she said.
"Chris? Are you okay?" her mother asked.
"Yeah, I mean, well, no. Not really. I-"
"Are you in jail?"
"No."
"Did someone hurt you?"
"No, mom."
"Oh my god. You're pregnant."
"No, I'm not pregnant. God. Look," Chris paused, "I'm so embarrassed telling you this, but Josh and I are late on our rent and-"
"You're calling me to ask me for money?"
Chris wanted to cry. She felt like a loser and a disappointment to her mother at that moment.
"Yes," she answered meekly.
"Oh Chris, how did this happen?"
"Well, I'm working two jobs and Josh is still out of work."
"Has he even tried looking for a job?"
"Yeah. He's trying everything he can," Chris lied.
Lying to her mother to cover for Josh's shortcomings made her feel even worse.
"Chris, I'll help you - but just this once, okay? I can't do this all the time. You two have got to get it together. You're adults now."
A mild chastising was embarrassing, but it was a relief. It was over. She had asked her mother for money and she was getting it. For now, Christmas had solved her rent problem.
"Thank you, mom. I'm really sorry. I really am," she pleaded.
"I know, baby. It's okay," her mother replied.
"I have to go to work. I'll talk to you later. I love you."
"I love you too, dear."
Work was once again a blur. Physically, she was there, but mentally, she was swimming in through waves of regret and disappointment. "Will life get any easier?" she thought. She hoped that it would.
Christmas walked up the stairs to her apartment when she saw Zach leaning against a rail smoking a cigarette.
"That's not a good idea," she said.
"Are you going to tell me I shouldn't be smoking?" he chuckled.
"No," she smiled. "The rail," she pointed, "It doesn't look too safe. Don't want to wind up on the concrete, do you?"
Zach smirked and let out a small laugh.
"I'm Zach," he said, extending his hand, "You must be Josh's girlfriend."
Chris nodded.
"I have to get going," she said, before she walked away.
"See ya," Zach said from a distance.
"Why did you talk to him?" she asked herself. She thought that Zach was sleazy and the fact that he made porn in his apartment made her feel more uneasy about him.
When she entered her apartment, she saw Josh sitting on the couch with a controller in his hands. Chris closed her eyes.
"Hey babe! How was work?"
Chris took a deep breath and answered, "It was fine."
She looked over and saw an envelope on the table.
"What's this?" she asked.
"Oh that? Something from the electric company. I didn't open it," Josh answered.
"He lives here! Why isn't he opening bills too?" she asked herself.
The letter inside the envelope told her, in big red letters, that they were 10 days late paying their electric bill.
"I thought you took care of this? You said you still had some money left in your account?" Chris asked.
Josh looked guilty.
"I did, but I didn't have that much. It was only like $60. I think the bill was like $120?" he answered.
Chris swallowed hard. She didn't want to fight with Josh, but she was reaching her boiling point.
"Why didn't you use the $60 and put it toward what we owe?"
"I didn't know we could do that. I thought we had to pay the whole thing."
Her mother had called Josh a "man child" before, but Chris always dismissed her assumptions. She thought her mother didn't understand him. It was clear in that moment, that it was Chris who didn't understand Josh, but everything was becoming clearer to her.
"You can pay any amount you want toward what you owe," she said, rubbing her temples. "Look, we need to talk. Can you put the controller down?"
Josh reluctantly placed the controller on the coffee table.
"The rent notice was on our door knob outside and it fell when I opened it. So you didn't know that we were late paying our rent because you haven't left the house, have you?"
He didn't answer or make eye contact with her.
"My mom is helping us pay the rent, but she said she's only going to do this once, so we have to figure out another way to make money or we're on the streets. Now, we're 10 days late on our electric bill. In four more days, they shut the lights off."
Chris felt like she was scolding a child - not the "love of her life." Josh looked at anything he could in their apartment except her.
"I need some help, Josh. Have you even looked for another job today?" she asked.
His silence gave her an answer. He had not.
"Maybe your grandpa can help us with it," he suggested.
"What!?"
The path of least resistance was not the road she would take in this situation. She was ready to fight.
"I'm working two jobs to pay our bills! You sit around here playing video games all day! It was humiliating to ask my mom for money and now you're suggesting I ask my grandpa to help us too!?"
Josh shrugged, "I'm sorry, Chris."
"You're sorry? Don't be sorry. Just-just get a job. Please. I need help," she pleaded.
She was hoping for some help or at least some helpful dialogue, but that wasn't happening. No sooner did she enter the apartment that she decided to leave it.
"I need some fresh air," Chris said.
An old, rusty tin can sat near the railing. It was full of cigarette butts and rain water. The balconies were common smoking spots everywhere in Sunnybrook. The dinginess of the place revolted her and she wished that she was anywhere but there. More importantly, she just wished that she could have one day without having to worry about money.
Chris looked across the lot full of cars and litter. She could hear barking dogs, but that was commonplace around the apartments. Their landlord allowed pets - and pretty much anything else as long as he got his money.
"You shouldn't do that," she heard a voice say behind her.
She turned around and saw Zach again.
"Don't you have better things to do than bother me?" she asked.
Zach was slightly taken aback by Chris' bluntness. He could tell she wasn't joking.
Chris immediately regretted what she said.
"I'm sorry. I just came here to get some fresh air. I've had a tough day," she said.
Zach noticed the significant swell in the front of her Fantasy Shop work shirt Chris was wearing. When she was wearing a bra, her breasts would jut out from her chest and were hard to notice. As painful as it was to wear a bra and constrain her massive breasts, she thought that this was the only way they looked good. Without a bra, her breasts would sag quite a bit. Having a J-cup was more of a curse than a blessing to her.
She caught Zach staring at her chest, but didn't say anything.
"It's cool, baby. Don't worry," Zach replied.
Chris rolled her eyes at being called "baby." While it didn't offend her, she wasn't flattered by it either.
"Why are you out here again?"
"You're nosey, you know that?"
She snickered. It felt good to laugh - even if it wasn't that funny.
"I'm waiting on some homies to get here. We got business shit to work out," he answered.
"Business stuff?"
"You know I shoot porn. Don't play," Zach retorted.
Zach was a white kid in his early 20's, six foot tall, and covered in tattoos - even sporting some of them on his face. He had the numbers "526" on his left cheek - which was the area code for where they lived. Three sets of ruman numerals were above his right eyebrow. She assumed it was a birthdate given that there were two slashes separating them.
He usually wore shorts or pants that sagged - exposing his boxer shorts to everyone. A large, oversized t-shirt with unrecognizable brand logos on them were the norm.
In any other place, Zach would stick out like sore thumb, but at Sunnybrook, he fit right in. Prostitutes, drug dealers, drug addicts, and gang members were commonplace around there. It was not where Chris thought she would end up, but she was naive and it was all she could afford.
"I know that," Chris replied. "You guys shooting a movie today or something?"
Zach sucked his teeth and shook his head, "Nah. The bitch didn't show up."
Chris didn't know what to say. Zach wasn't someone she would normally talk to and the subject was something she didn't really want to discuss either. She just wanted to make small talk, but was regretting her decision to do so.
He looked at Chris and thought she was cute. She normally didn't wear makeup - and today was no different. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail. Her small round face was cute with small freckles on the tops of her cheeks.
