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They both made soft movements. Lisa slowly rocked back and forth. Doug made fluid grinding motions with his pelvis. She rubbed his neck and scratched the back of his head. He massaged the small of her back. They kissed and hugged. They slowly made love.
Lisa and Doug were together. They had been emotionally and intellectually together. At this moment they were literally physically together. From now on they would be together as man and wife. Both could feel the togetherness, it felt like peace and joy and love.
"Merry Christmas Doug."
"Merry Christmas Lisa."
- COMMENTS
pepepilotover 5 years agoI was upset as I was reading as I had several interruptions and I could not wait to get back to the story. The story was very well thought out and I could feel myself being there with the characters.
As was stated by someone else, you need to work a bit on the misspellings, but if that is all that is wrong with the story, so be it. Keep up the great story lines!
Anonymousover 5 years agoYou are badly in need of an editor. Numerous wrong words and grammar errors kept taking me out of the moment . I did find the purchase of a miniature craving set unintentionally amusing though. It is a 4-5* story with a 2* execution.
mitchawaover 5 years agoA well-written story with an interesting plot, the characters were described in detail,
the emotions of Lisa added greatly to the story, the romance between Kris and Asha was less emotional until they joined for the first time. The two parallel business stories added to the tension especially between Lisa and Dough. The ending was probably to smooth, but it was perfect. The story should do well in the competition.
Privates1stClassover 5 years agoSometimes all the planets line up--the stars are in agreement, and everything is right with the world. A lovely Christmas story--a Hallmark Channel classic.
Good luck in the contest.
