Christmas In Norway Tour

Jorunn snapped back, displaying more passion and intensity than she had shown all day. "This is Oslo. This is Christmas. This is what Norwegians do in Oslo at Christmas. People come here from all over the world wanting to see what I have shown you. Vigeland Park has over one million visitors every year. If you want more Christmas, perhaps you will enjoy the Nutcracker ballet tonight. You barely kept up with me today. Maybe the ballet will be more to your speed."

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Chapter 6 - The Nutcracker

December 15 - Evening

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We approached the Oslo Opera House, located right on the water. It was a combination of very tall glass windows, and white marble ramps, sweeping from the roofline down to the water. Jorunn said that from the harbor, it resembled an iceberg rising from the water. Because of the performance, everything was brightly lit. There was still time before the ballet started, so Jorunn led me up one of the ramps. I was surprised they allowed us to walk up and go out onto the roof. The twilight views of Oslo and the harbor were even more impressive than those from Akershus. But the rooftop wasn't completely smooth. In places, there were grooves cut into white marble, unprotected drops into unmarked stairwells, and tripping obstacles necessitated by modern ventilation and lighting requirements. I stumbled twice, drawing a frustrated look from Jorunn.

Going inside, I saw the famous oval chandelier overhanging rows of red seats. There were sculptures incorporated in the decorations of the upper levels. As we took our seats, Jorunn said, "These performances by the Norwegian National Ballet of the Nutcracker are always sold out. I like to include this ballet on my tours because there is no dialogue, which is nice for tourists who do not speak Norwegian. You must use your interpretation of what the characters are saying, or might say, and can do so in the language of your choice."

There were three empty seats next to us, likely prepaid as part of the tour. Otherwise, it was full. The performance was magnificent, and I lost myself in the music and the dancing. Solveig used to love ballet, and through her eyes, I came to appreciate it as well.

In the darkness, I imagined myself sitting with Solveig, so I reached over and placed my hand on top of Jorunn's. Jorunn slipped her hand out from under mine but left my hand on her knee. A moment later, her hand capped mine and tightly squeezed it. She forcefully lifted my hand and moved it over to my knee. I glanced over at Jorunn, and in the reflected light, saw her giving me a look more ferocious than the Mouse King from the ballet.

At the interval, I apologized, explaining that my wife and I often attended the ballet and I got carried away. I'm not sure Jorunn accepted my apology.

"If you touch me again, Mr. Larsen, without my permission, my knee will do some Nut Cracking."

The rest of the ballet was magnificent, and I kept my hands to myself. As we exited the Opera House, I was hungry and asked Jorunn if we were going to stop somewhere for dinner. Jorunn took me across the street to what appeared to be an upscale burger restaurant where we joined a short line waiting for a table.

As I looked around the burger restaurant, I said sarcastically, "A cheese sandwich for lunch, and more fine Norwegian cuisine for dinner."

"Mr. Larsen, it is 20:30. Where do you suggest we go? The people leaving the ballet have jammed the Metro. There is a wonderful Michelin 3-Star restaurant nearby, one of the best restaurants in the world, but the people taking my tours are usually much younger than you, and this is the food they eat. Many of them want vegan options, and they have those here."

I saw the logic in what Jorunn said and realized I was the outlier here among the other patrons. After they seated us, Jorunn suggested the marinated salmon burger with sweet potato fries. But as I glanced around at what others were eating, I opted for a regular cheeseburger. With the way things were going on the tour, I also wanted a beer, and the server recommended a local pilsner. Jorunn sternly reminded me that the tour included food, but I would have to pay for any alcohol.

The food arrived and as good as anything I remembered eating over the past two years. While the food was hot, the conversation between Jorunn and I turned decidedly cold. As we returned to the hotel, there was a chill in more places than just the air. We parted for the night, and Jorunn said, "You complained about the museums today. You complained about the food. The forecast is for snow tonight. I am adjusting the schedule for tomorrow. Come to the meeting room tomorrow morning dressed in your warmest outdoor clothing."

As I drifted off to sleep in my room, my mind kept replaying the words of a Faith Hill song. "Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you?" I realized I made a fool of myself today. I was searching for Christmas, but it was everywhere around me. Like the stout walls of Akershus, I sealed myself off from it. I was expecting Norway to be a Christmas fantasy land like a Disney movie, with talking snowmen, trolls, and fairy princesses. Like Whoville, Christmas here isn't a flashing neon sign waiting for discovery, instead, it is all the wonderful people, proud of their country and traditions, smiling, wishing each other 'God Jul', and acting warm and friendly. They surrounded me all day, but I failed to see them. I felt like the Grinch, and promised myself to do better tomorrow. I just wish the warm jacket I purchased wasn't Bright Green!

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Chapter 7 - The Corkscrew

December 16 - Morning

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I met Jorunn in the same meeting room at the hotel. Breakfast today was coffee and oat porridge with toppings.

"We are going sledging this morning, Mister, I mean Gunnar. The name we use for sledges is kjelke. With the snow last night, the hill shouldn't be icy, and you may find it more to your speed. If the skies clear a bit, we may also get good views from the top of the hill. It will be colder today than yesterday."

I defended myself, "We used to go to a cabin in northern Minnesota, near Grand Rapids, and go snowmobiling. The cold won't be a problem." I

I took a deep breath and then released it. It looked like it was going to be another chilly day, and not just the temperature. Jorunn had no confidence in me. But sledging sounded like sledding, and since all you must do is slide down the hill while sitting on your butt, I should be able to do this. The only part I was worried about was walking back up the hill. I hoped it wouldn't be too steep. We rode on the T-bane to the bottom of a small mountain, then took the Metro to the top, where each of us rented a wooden sledge.

The man who rented us the sledges gave us instructions. "The track is two kilometers long and drops over 250 meters."

Stunned, I gasped silently.

The man continued, "Even with the snow last night, you may find icy patches in the center, so if you want to go slower stick to the sides. You can also drag your hands. Steering is with your feet and leaning with your body. If... I mean, once you fall off your sledge, look behind you to see if someone is going to hit you, then get off to the side. Keep your head up and watch for obstacles, especially other people and especially around corners. When you get to the bottom, you can take your sledge on the Metro and ride back to the top. Here are your helmets. Welcome to the Korketrekkeren."

Helmets? I did a quick metric conversion in my head. Two kilometers is well over a mile long, and the drop is over eight hundred feet. This was no bunny hill!

As Jorunn and I pulled our sledges to the starting location, the views were wonderful, just as she said. There was a terrific view of Oslo as the last of the dark clouds moved off. The branches on the pine and spruce trees were decked out in fresh snow as if flocked. I asked Jorunn, "Does Korketrekkeren mean what I think it does?"

She replied coyly, "It means The Corkscrew. I hope you enjoy sledging more than the museums we visited yesterday."

Once at the starting point, we both sat down on our sledges. I was grateful only a few others were preparing to ride, but gasped again when I saw how youthful their faces were. I doubted anyone here was over thirty years old. I wondered whether Jorunn was punishing me, or perhaps was hoping I would voluntarily quit the tour.

"I don't know if I can do this, Jorunn. I'm afraid."

Jorunn looked me in the eye with a grim look on her face.

"Afraid is coming home with my mother, and finding my father sleeping with another woman. Afraid is watching how he broke apart my family and wondering how my mom and I would go on. Afraid is me cutting off my father and not wanting to ever see him again."

"Afraid is quitting a dead-end job and trying to earn a living as a vlogger in one of the most expensive countries on earth. Afraid is checking every morning for clicks, likes, and followers, and finding out the numbers did not change."

"Afraid is starting a private small-group tour company, all by myself, and weaving my way through the many regulations, laws, and insurance requirements. Afraid is knowing I have to book at least one trip a month just to cover those costs."

"Afraid is taking a group of six to Svalbard for a glacier hike in early summer, and spotting a polar bear less than 200 meters away lumbering towards us. Afraid is watching our guide fire off the last of her flares, but seeing the bear still coming. Afraid is the look in our guide's eyes as she reached for her rifle."

"You don't need to be afraid of sledging, Gunnar. What you need to be afraid of is being too afraid to try sledging. Meet me at the bottom of the hill. Either make the run or turn in your sledge and take the Metro down the hill."

I watched Jorunn push off and head down the run, then thought about her words. I lived a good life in Minnesota, meeting Solveig in college and then stepping right into a lifetime job with the 3M company. Adventure was going to our lake cabin where the only challenges were fighting off mosquitos, and figuring out how to remove burnt marshmallows off the end of a stick. After our first child, Solveig and I stopped doing anything like sledding, and instead sat and watched our kids having all the fun.

What am I doing here in Norway? Why am I here? Jorunn answered that question for me. I pushed off and started my run.

I fought my way down the mountain, and as I approached the end of the run, I was happy to see it level off. I saw Jorunn standing next to her sledge, her small camera pointed at me. I raised both hands over my head, waved, then yelled, "I did it!" I coasted to a stop three meters past her.

Jorunn ran up to me, and as I stood, she hugged me. "I'm proud of you Gunnar." As we hugged, under the clear blue skies and chilly temperatures, I closed my eyes and went back 35 years to a small hill in Minneapolis, where I hugged Solvieg after sledding. Jorunn released me and stepped back.

I yelped, "It was wonderful! I kept to the side as other people whizzed past me. A few sections were bumpy, and my teeth rattled. The only time I was scared was when there was a steep drop-off on one side. Don't you use guardrails in Norway?"

"You may have seen a few small concrete walls, but we believe in personal responsibility here in Norway. If you cannot manage a sledge, you should not make the run. The authorities do monitor the conditions and sometimes close the run when it is too icy."

"Does that mean you believed in me? Believed I could make it down the hill?"

"There is nothing wrong with you, Gunnar. While I was waiting here at the bottom of the hill, I read about your Iron Range in Minnesota. You are rusty. There is a Wizard of Oz Museum there. You are the Tin Man. This tour is the Oil Can. Figure it out. The Oil Can only works if you pick it up and use it. Stand tall and walk proudly for as long as you can. If you fall, get up and keep going."

It was an interesting way to look at life. I was only 56 years old, but for the last few years, I acted like I was 80. I still have many years to go sledging, if only I was not afraid to try.

I turned to Jorunn. "Let's go again!"

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Chapter 8 - Pea Soup

December 16 - Mid-Day

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After three more runs, Jorunn and I turned in our sledges and ate lunch at the beautiful Frognersteren Restaurant on top of the hill. I followed her suggestion of a thick pea soup with meatballs and potatoes. It was delicious. As we sipped hot chocolate, it felt good to be alive again.

"A week ago, I was in a nursing home in Minnesota. After my wife died, no one visited me, not even my adult children. I was alone. It was a terrible place, run by a terrible nurse. I had to get out. I made plans with my lawyer, then walked out the front door and got on a plane to come to Norway. What's the worst place you have ever been?"

"Dublin, Ireland. After the divorce, my mother and I were struggling financially. We had gone from living a comfortable life to living paycheck to paycheck. I saw a post on the Internet for a job as a body double for a Vikings television program. I wasn't sure what a body double did, but it paid well for a short gig. I took all my clothes off while a dozen people stared at me and took photos and videos. I hadn't been naked in front of any man in over a year, since before the divorce. They must have liked me because I got the part, and they flew me to Dublin. The next morning, I went to the studios. I sat there in a robe while they cut and styled my hair to match the actress I was portraying. Then off to the makeup department, where I removed my robe while they applied fake tattoos and full body makeup so I would look dirty in all the right places."

"After lunch in the studio, the costume department placed me in a white linen tunic. When it was time to film, they told me to stand in front of the lead actor while he lifted the tunic off me and tossed it aside. He was much older than me, and with his beard, he reminded me of my father. He exuded the same swagger as if the world revolved only around him. I would be fully exposed to him, and to the camera crew, who were filming me from behind. They told me to act submissive and let the lead actor hug me. It took several takes and a few tweaks before the director was happy."

"Next, I was ordered to lay down on a stylized Viking bed covered with furs. The sex scene was to be filmed twice. Once for television, then for an unrated video release. The make-up people gave me a once over, then thankfully positioned a flesh-covered patch over my vagina. In the first shot, I was naked, but the lead actor remained fully clothed. He stood and positioned himself between my legs, and they told me to keep my vagina pressed tight against his crotch as he bucked against me. We needed to make the audience believe we were having sex while showing them nothing. I remained in this position while they adjusted the lighting and camera angles, and beneath his trousers, I felt the lead actor's erect cock pressed against me."

"The director yelled, 'Action'. Once again, they told me to be submissive, and let the lead actor take charge. He started humping against me. Looking up at him, he was still a handsome man, and I wondered how many women around the world dreamed or fantasized about being in the same place I was. I wasn't one of them, but I understood this was why they hired me, so I accepted it. Like earlier, it took several takes. The director would review the shot and make small adjustments each time. After the last take, I saw a large wet spot on the front of the lead actor's trousers."

"Then it was time for the unrated scene. A host of costume and make-up people swarmed around the actor while I lay there naked. This time, he was to be naked as he approached the bed. The camera angle was off to the side to avoid full frontal and he used his left hand to shield his erection, thankfully contained in a flesh-covered sock. The scene began with the lead actor approaching me, and once in position, he began humping against me. His covered cock slid against the covering over my vagina, but the sensations passed right through. My nipples became erect, and I felt my wetness building."

"After several takes, the director was happy, and we moved on to the last scene for which I was needed. In this one, the lead actor would be laying on top of me, his arms extended and propping himself up with his hands placed on either side of my body. This scene was more challenging because it needed to be mixed with prior facial cuts shot separately with the lead male actor and lead female actress. The scene would be filmed from several angles including above and below. As the director reviewed the earlier footage, the makeup people worked on my face and hair."

"The next thing I felt was the lead actor lying on top of me, his body pressing his erect cock against the patch covering my vagina. I wanted to turn away, but he told me to look at him because it would help him release his creative juices. I feared the possible double entendre. Here I was, face-to-face with the avatar of the man I hated more than anyone, the man who destroyed our family. When the director was ready, he said to go at it and try to simulate real sex. He yelled 'Action'. I was sweating under the lights, and the patch covering my vagina began to slip, aided by the movement of the lead actor's covered cock. As my pussy became more exposed, I was afraid his cock might slide into me, so I yelled 'Cut!'. Everything stopped, and I pushed him off."

"That was enough. I yelled I was through, gathered my things, and headed for the front door. I paid my own way back to Oslo, and thought about filing a protest, but later learned what they did was mostly proper. Most sex scenes are between two body doubles. It is rare, but sometimes a lead actor will film such scenes if they have it in their nudity clause. I had a new appreciation for body doubles, but my own acting career lasted one day, and looking at the final scenes after release, I was on screen for eight seconds, and no one knew it was me!"

I said, "Wow. We have something in common. The nursing home did everything properly, but like you, I couldn't stand it any longer, so I headed for the front door. I'm sorry for your terrible experience."

Jorunn shook her head, "Don't be sorry. The experience ended up changing my life for the better. After I got back to Oslo, I swore to never work for anyone else again. I wanted to direct my own scenes, so I started doing vlogs. That led to the creation of my tour company. As things turned out, I walked out one door and right into something I loved. Plus, I walked out wearing this really cool, braided leather Viking headband I have on now. You are halfway there. You have walked out the front door. Now you must find something, or someone, to love."

A profound statement from someone so young.

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Chapter 9 - Spikersuppa

December 16 - Afternoon

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I noticed the sun getting low on the horizon. Jorunn caught my glance and said, "The sun sets early here in Oslo, around 3:30 in the afternoon. In some of the northern cities, it set last month and will not rise again until spring."

I didn't want to spend the rest of the day looking at museums, and flushed with my success on the hill, I took a chance. "Do you ice skate?"

Jorunn replied, "I do, but not very well."

I said, "If you know of a skating rink with lights, maybe we can go there and skate."

"There is a nice lighted one in downtown Oslo called Spikersuppa," said Jorunn. "When the sun goes down in Oslo, the twinkling lights are turned on, bringing with them their magic. The ice-skating rink is close to the Christmas market, which is our agenda for tonight."