Christmas Mystery Theater Redux 01

"That's simple, then." said Lestrade. "We'll check each woman here, and see who is wearing 'Wildcat Red' lipstick, or has it in her purse."

"I've observed them already. They're all wearing that shade of lipstick." said Holmes. "Apparently it's a popular shade during football season." There were some chuckles and some groans in the audience at that.

"No accounting for taste." said Constable Gregson with a grin, which drew some laughter and murmurs of agreement, including from the Mayor and Cindy. He then said "Inspector, I've assembled everyone in the drawing room, whenever you are ready to begin questioning them."

"Thank you." said Lestrade.

The lights faded, and when they returned, everyone was sitting on the stage area in chairs on one side. On the other side were three chairs.

"We are going to interview all of you." announced Lestrade. "And I will warn you that anything you say can and will be used against you in a Court of Law!" she added, showing the magnificent fair play of the British law.

Lestrade then added "And I already know who I want to interrogate first."

"Do you have a suspect already, Inspector Lestrade?" asked Holmes, looking and sounding very surprised.

"There is one man here who is at the top of my suspect list." Carole said loudly. "A man so diabolical, he makes his daughter do her homework and go to bed early!"

"OH, HOW AWFUL!" all the kids said in unison. The audience laughed.

And then Carole walked from the stage area out into the audience. She came right up to me, extended her little arm, and pointed right at me as she said loudly: "Where were you on the night of the Fifth?!"

"Uh, at the Policeman's Ball." I said, my arms extended outward in mock surrender.

"A likely story!" Carole said loudly, looking out over the audience. Then she looked at me again and said "Stay in Town! I'll be watching you!"

As she turned and stalked back onto the stage, the laughter in the audience turned to applause. I was laughing too, and out of the corner of my eye saw Sheriff Griswold at the next table, laughing it up, his mustaches twitching with great merriment.

"That wasn't in the script." Laura whispered to me.

"No, it was completely ad-libbed, though obviously planned with the class." I whispered in reply. "And very well done, I might add. They got me good."

"Carole should not be disrespecting her father in public like that." Laura said unhappily.

"Heh." I said. "With that sense of humor, she's going to be a great Police Officer one day." And that did nothing to improve my wife's mood. Couch time with Bowser in my future? I wondered...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

People were brought one by one to the side of the stage where the three chairs were. Sherlock Holmes, Inspector Lestrade, and the person being questions sat in the chairs. Constable Gregson and Dr. Watson watched over the others, occasionally talking amongst themselves.

The butler was interviewed first, and he said "All of the ladies were in the drawing room. Messieurs Adams, Beck, Carlo, and Dalton had been in the room, but had left at different times, and none of them were in the room when the shot was fired. Mr. Boddy had left the room after the other four gentlemen did."

The ladies were interviewed next, and confirmed that they were all in the room with the butler, and that all the men were not in the room at the time of the shot being fired. But Mrs. Dalton very quickly volunteered the information that Mr. Boddy and Mrs. Adams had been seen kissing under the mistletoe that night.

"One thing is for sure." said Lestrade. "The Butler didn't do it."

"Obviously, Inspector." said Holmes. "And unless one of the women pulled an amazing trick... or they're all in it together... we can eliminate them as suspects, as well. Let's talk to the four gentlemen, shall we?"

Mr. Bartholomew Beck was the first to be interviewed. "So you were Boddy's business partner?" asked Lestrade.

"Yes." said Beck. "I provided capital for some of his ventures, and advised him on some of them."

"Did Mr. Boddy owe you any money, beyond the venture capitalism?" asked Lestrade.

"No, nothing beyond the investments in his businesses. said Beck.

"Did anyone owe Mr. Boddy money?" asked Sherlock Holmes.

"Uh, I believe Mr. Dalton owed Mr. Boddy some money."

"Gambling debt?" asked Lestrade.

"No," said Beck. "It may have been over an Engineering company startup, which fell through when Mr. Adams failed his Engineering certification test. That left Dalton holding the bag."

"Where were you when the shot was fired??" asked Lestrade.

"I was in the bathroom." said Beck.

"Any idea who might have done this?" asked Holmes.

"If I had to guess, I'd say Mr. Carlo is the killer." said Beck. "He's a gambler, and audacious enough to do something like this."

Next was Mr. Aldrich Adams. "So you're an engineer?" Lestrade asked.

"Yes, I'm a Board-certified engineer now that I've passed the test." said Adams.

"You passed? You didn't fail the test?" Lestrade asked.

"Why, no." said Adams, looking surprised. "I passed the first time. You can check it out."

"We'll be sure to." said Lestrade. "So, did you owe Mr. Boddy any money?"

"No." said Adams. "I do believe Mr. Carlo owed Mr. Boddy a considerable sum of money, and Mr. Carlo was pressed on how he was going to pay it back."

"Mr. Adams," said Sherlock Holmes sternly, "was your wife Augusta having an affair with Mr. Boddy?"

"No!" said Adams hotly. "My wife is not like that! She wanted nothing to do with that dirtbag Noah Boddy!"

"So who do you think the killer might be?" asked Holmes.

"I think Mr. Dalton is the killer." said Adams. "He spoke to Boddy just before leaving the room."

Next came Mr. Dalton. "Oh yes, Mr. Boddy was definitely kissing Mrs. Adams under the mistletoe." he said in reply to Lestrade's first question. "In fact, it's well known that Mr. Boddy and Mrs. Adams are boyfriend and girlfriend, and she doesn't love her husband any more."

"Were you in business with Mr. Adams?" asked Lestrade.

"I was once." said Dalton. "I was an Engineer with him in his company, then left to start my own business."

"So who killed Mr. Boddy?" asked Lestrade. "You weren't in the room with the ladies when the shot was fired? Where were you?"

"I was getting a drink from the cabinet in the hallway." said Dalton. "I like that brand of Scotch better than the swill in the drawing room."

"And to answer your other question," Dalton continued. "I did not kill Boddy. Mr. Beck is the killer. He and Boddy were partners, and they were not getting along very well."

Last was Mr. Carlo. "Yes, I'm a professional gambler. And I made money and quite the decent living at it."

Lestrade asked "Did you owe Boddy any money?"

"No." said Carlo. "I did not owe him any money."

"What about Mr. Dalton?" asked Sherlock Holmes. "Did he owe Mr. Boddy money?"

"Not that I know of, but I'm not sure." said Mr. Carlo. "What I do know is that Dalton has been lying about working with Mr. Adams. Dalton is not an engineer of any kind, and did not work with Adams."

"So you think Dalton killed Boddy?" asked Holmes incisively.

"I have no idea." said Carlo. "All I know is that I did not kill Mr. Boddy."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After a followup with Mrs. Adams, who broke into tears as she was forced to confess she had indeed been kissing Mr. Boddy under the mistletoe, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson conferred privately with Lestrade and Constable Gregson.

"This has been all too easy to solve." said Holmes.

"Easy!" exclaimed Lestrade, and Carole did not need much effort to be scowling at that.

"Oh yes! Even the Iron Crowbar could figure this out in one reading." said Marie with a wicked grin. Carole made the two-finger sign at her eyes then at Marie, who returned the gesture. People in the audience chuckled, not realizing that that was ad-libbed between the two bestest buddies, just as Carole's interrogation of me earlier had been completely ad-libbed.

Meanwhile, Holmes had been pretending to writ on a couple of easels that were turned around backwards. He and Watson then turned the easels out to face the audience.

"What we do know," sai Holmes, "is that Mrs. Adams and Mr. Boddy were kissing, and likely had been getting together before."

Constable Gregson said "And I've confirmed that Mr. Adams did pass his Engineering exam."

"Therefore," said Holmes, "the deductions are simple. Each of our four suspects, Adams, Beck, Carlo, and Dalton, made these four statements. Each man made two true statements, and told two lies. Four by four." The boards read:

Mr. Aldrich Adams
I'm a Board certified Engineer after I passed the test.
Mr. Carlo owed Mr. Boddy money.
Mr. Dalton is the killer.
My wife Augusta was not having an affair with Mr. Boddy.

Mr. Bartholomew Beck
Mr. Dalton owed Mr. Boddy money.
Mr. Adams is not certified as an Engineer, he failed the test.
Yes, I was Boddy's business partner.
Mr. Carlo is the killer.

Mr. Charles Carlo
I'm a professional gambler.
Mr. Dalton is not an Engineer and never worked with Mr. Adams.
I did not kill Mr. Boddy.
No, I did not owe Mr. Boddy money.

Mr. Denny Dalton
Mr. Beck is the killer.
I was an Engineer with Mr. Adams.
Mr. Boddy was having an affair with Augusta Adams.
No, I did not kill Mr. Boddy.

Part 4 - Are You Not Entertained?

As Marie's piano was brought onto the stage area, Carole stepped up to the front and addressed us.

"You may come up and look at the boards during intermission." she said. "But before the break, since we are required to provide you with enter-tain-ment, we will dance to a song that means Christmas in every way!"

Have you ever wondered why 'Saturday Night Live' and variety/comedy specials always have a musical guest or band on? Steve Martin gave it away on one of his comedy specials years ago, saying that because they were required to provide entertainment, they had a musical guest. I guess it was required in case someone was not entertained by the comedy, and I have no idea who required it. But they always have musical numbers on those comedy/variety shows.

And who am I to argue when The Vince Guaraldi Trio's most Christmas-y of Christmas songs, Linus and Lucy from 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' is played? Marie began playing the instrumental on her piano, and all of the rest of the class that wasn't in the play poured out from the back and began dancing to it.

The audience was clapping along when Carole came into the audience. "Y'all dance!" she told me and Laura, then made her way to Sheriff Griswold and had him get up and dance with her. Tyson had gone out and found his mom, and had her dancing with him, then other kids came out and danced with their parents.

"Shall we dance?" I asked Laura. She did stand up with me, and we did a very easy portion of our old Tango routine. Edward and Stephanie Steele got up, as did others at the other tables, and we had a jolly good time.

After the very entertaining musical interlude, the kids all went behind the stage while the people at the tables began attempting to solve the mystery. I got up and went and got something to drink while my table pondered the mystery...

To be continued.

Dear Readers, I truly hope there is not more than one solution than the one I constructed. Can you figure out what my solution is? And determine who murdered Mr. Noah Boddy, in the kitchen, with the revolver?