Christmas to Christmas

"Anna, I'm so sorry that you had this happen to you. Honestly, I haven't been concerned about the pace at all, because I'm so afraid that I'm going to try to push you into something you didn't want to do and you would break up with me. So I'm fine with taking it at your pace. You tell me that I'm your knight in shining armor...I tend to look at it as what you have done for me. I thought I was happy living the single bachelor life, teaching and playing my music around the area. But once you came into my life, for the first time I realized what I was missing. Now I'll do anything to keep from going back to my way of life before you.

"As for the risk -- the risk would be never finding someone else like you, because I doubt that girl exists. I'm not about to start looking at you differently after you told me what happened. In fact, I might become even more doting on you than before, although I don't want to smother you and not let you bloom on your own.

"I don't want to pressure you, Anna, but I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with you, and I'm going to do everything I can to stay with you and show you just how good I can be for you."

It was Anna's turn to cry now, and he thought he might have said something wrong, especially professing his love for her. But when she smiled, Eric breathed a sigh of relief. And then he was surprised when she lifted her face to him and gently kissed him -- not on the cheek, but on the lips. Her lips were soft and warm, and instantly Eric was flushed with emotion at this woman who trusted him so much that she was willing to be with him despite what had happened to her. He knew he was going to honor that trust by doing all that he could to make her comfortable anytime they were together.

Anna leaned back and smiled at Eric. "Thank you for your words and for your understanding. I'm glad you're going to stay with me and help me through this. I want you to know that even though my therapist says having you with me is a great thing, that's not why I'm with you. I'm with you because I like you very much and I want to see how far we will go together."

She kissed him quickly again, and then tugged on his hand. They started walking back through the park, holding hands tighter than ever. By the time they got back to her house, twilight was falling, so Eric walked her up to the door to make sure she felt safe. At the door, she gave him one more kiss, followed by a smile as she said, "Thank you for a perfect day, Eric! You don't know how much I appreciate it!"

She turned and went back inside. On the way to his car, Eric smiled to himself. If she would have told him about the attack sooner in their relationship, he guessed he still might have stayed with her, because as much as he was doing for her, he felt his life was greatly improved with her by his side. But it was a moot point. He looked forward to every single minute they were together, and her news today wasn't going to change that fact at all.

Independence Day (July 4^th)

The county lake was struggling to accommodate all who had invaded it for the annual Independence Day activities. There were all kinds of watercraft out on the lake, from jet skiers to boats pulling water skiers to pontoon boats with partiers aboard to recreational boaters who were enjoying all of the activities on display in front of them. There would be a community barbecue, followed by a concert and then fireworks on the water as soon as nightfall occurred.

The first month of summer had gone quickly for Eric. Normally when school was out in May, he would have taken most of his summer to return to his hometown and work with his dad on the little farm they had together. But this summer he had decided to stay here with Anna, and when they found out he was in his first long term relationship, they happily agreed to his plan.

He and Anna had spent every possible minute together in June, even if it was just for walks together in the park, which had become their favorite activity. Eric had also volunteered to provide music therapy to some of the residents at the care home. He had enjoyed that immensely, and as much as he loved working with kids in school, he felt this might have been a little more rewarding, to both the residents and to himself.

Anna had been fortunate to get July 4^th off. She had worked a 12 hour shift the night before, so she needed some sleep before they could go to the lake together. He had instructed Eric to pick her up at 4:00 that afternoon, and they would go out to the beach front and spend time relaxing and watching the people around them. It would be the first time Anna had been around a crowd of this size since the attack, so she was a little leery of going in the first place. But Eric promised never to leave her side, and do all he could to make her comfortable.

When they arrived, the crowd was larger than either of them expected. Eric could tell that Anna was a little apprehensive to stay, so he put his hand on her arm and said, "We don't have to stay -- I'm sure we could have just as much fun doing something else."

Anna shook her head no. "I want to do this, Eric -- if I can make it past this, it will be a big milestone in my recovery. But let's see if we can find a spot on the beach that's not too crowded."

They waded through the beach towels and lawn chairs and people playing all sorts of games, eventually finding a spot on the far end that wasn't too crowded. Eric had brought a large umbrella, and he stuck it in the sand and opened it up. They spread out their towels underneath, and each of them lay down and watched the activity on the water.

It was not private at all, so that limited the things they could talk about. But for the immediate moment, they enjoyed their time under the hot summer sun. Unfortunately as the afternoon progressed, the crowds grew, so that even the far end of the beach was now crowded, and after a football being thrown by a group of young men knocked over their umbrella not once but twice, Anna had had enough. There were too many people for her comfort level, and she just didn't feel safe.

Eric understood, and they packed up their umbrella and towels and headed back to the parking area. Walking through a bunch of cars still made Anna nervous, so she clung to Eric the entire time until they reached his car. She started to breathe regularly again once they were moving.

She reached out for Eric's arm and said, "I'm sorry for ruining your day, Eric. I really thought I would be okay, but that was just too many people. I promise I'll make it up to you."

Eric shook his head. "You don't have to do that. It was too many people for me either. Do you want to go to the park and spend some quiet time together?"

Anna shyly smiled. "I have a better idea -- why don't we go to my house? It's about time I let you see where I live. Plus there is a great patio out back with a couple of chairs that I think would fit us perfectly. Janice and Kim are gone, so it will just be the two of us. Are you interested?"

Her suggestion surprised Eric, but he realized it was another positive step in her recovery. "That sounds great! Let's go."

It took about 20 minutes for them to get to her house, and all the time Eric was nervous that maybe Anna was being open to him only because she made him leave the lake. When they pulled up, Anna opened her door, but before she could get out, Eric stopped her.

"Anna, we don't have to do this, if you are uncomfortable. There's really nothing you need to do to make up for wanting to leave the lake. I don't want you doing something you'll be nervous about."

She looked back at him and laughed. "Eric, we've been together for over six months now. I'm pretty sure I know you well enough to know that we are going to be fine. Plus, don't you think a boyfriend should know what the house looks like where his girlfriend lives? Come on -- let's go relax and enjoy being together."

Eric felt better, but he would keep a close eye on her to make sure she didn't regret inviting him later on. They walked through the house and out onto the back patio. Eric noticed the direction the house faced, and said, "We might be able to see some of the fireworks over the lake from here -- they should be just to the left corner of your backyard."

He looked about the rest of the yard. Up by the house was a gas grill, covered with a tarp. He called out to Anna, "Does this grill work?"

Anna shrugged her shoulders. "As far as I know. We don't use it very often, but it's hooked into the natural gas of the house. It was here when we moved in as part of what we pay rent for."

Eric removed the cover and saw a very clean expensive grill. He opened it and noticed that among other things, there was a collection of accessories -- including a vegetable basket -- that looked like they had never been used. He opened the gas valve and pressed the ignitor button, and the grill fired up. Satisfied, he shut it down again, formulating a plan that should make their evening together very special.

"Anna, can I cook you supper? I can do everything on this grill, so we don't have to heat up the house. I can promise you a very romantic supper on the back patio together."

Anna smiled and came over to where Eric was standing. "Of course you can cook supper for me -- I'd love that! I don't have any food that is meant for the grill, though. What do you have in mind?"

Eric laughed. "I know we just got here, but let's run to the store together and decide what we are going to make. It may not look like it, but I'm a pretty good grill master, and I bet this will be one of your most favorite meals ever!"

They went to the store and picked out a couple of marbled rib eyes, along with a can of baked beans and some fresh veggies that Eric would chop up and grill in the veggie basket. As he prepared the food in the kitchen, Anna sat back and marveled at his skill. They'd been together for six months now, but she was still learning new things about her boyfriend, and nothing that she learned discouraged her from wanting to learn more.

Eric preheated the grill, and then put the steaks and veggies on to cook. He found a bowl in the kitchen that was heat rated to over 500 degrees and put the beans in it, so the grill would heat them up as well. He made up a little spice mixture from the available spices in her kitchen to sprinkle over the meat as it was cooking. He also added some to the veggie mixture. Timing everything just right, he started taking food off the grill and over to the outdoor table where they were going to eat. Anna had brought plates and tableware from inside, as well as a pitcher of lemonade.

Eric brought her steak over to the table, and just like a server at a fancy steak house, encouraged Anna to cut into it to make sure it was cooked appropriately. Anna did so and smiled when she saw the juicy pink center of the steak, cooked perfectly. Eric bowed, and then went to retrieve his steak. They ate together as the sun began to set behind them. Other than the occasional pesky insect trying to interrupt their setting, the evening was perfect.

Anna cleaned up the table as Eric did the same to the grill, making sure it was ready for the next time it was used (secretly hoping it would be he that was cooking). They finished just as the last sliver of the sun set behind the horizon. Eric pulled out two chaise lounge chairs and pointed them to where he expected the fireworks to be seen. He still wasn't sure if they would be visible from her house or not, but it had already been a great evening, so if they couldn't see them, it wouldn't put a damper on anything.

As they waited for night fall, Anna turned over to look at Eric. "I'm glad you came over today. I don't know about you, but this has been a much better time that if we would have stayed at the lake. Even if there had been less people there and we had stayed, I'm glad it turned out this way."

Eric reached for her hand and took it in his. "This is pretty great. A nice quiet evening with the woman of my dreams, cooking for her and now sitting here together, waiting for a fireworks show to begin that we may not even be able to see - what could be better?"

Anna released Eric's hand and stood up, then walked over to his chair and crawled in beside him. He scooted over as far as he could to make room for her, but her body was leaning up against his on his left side. She lay her head on his shoulder, and put her left leg over his. The warmth of her body against his was very evident. Eric wasn't sure where to put his left hand, but he ended up setting it on her back, just below her shoulder.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes, when all of a sudden they both saw the flash of lights in the distance. They found out that they could see almost all of the fireworks, and especially the ones that were shot the highest in the sky. Without speaking, they watched the show together, enjoying the brightly colored explosions miles away. It was as if they were being treated to their own personal fireworks show.

After about 20 minutes, the show ended. Anna turned her head to look up at Eric, who smiled back at her. She brought her hand up and placed it on his chest as she said, "I need to tell you something."

Eric tensed a little bit. He really felt things were going great, and was surprised when she had come over and climbed on his chaise with him. He tried not to show concern, because he didn't want to alarm her, but he could tell that she picked up on something.

"Relax, Eric," she said. "It's not anything bad! I just needed to tell you that I've been doing a lot of thinking since that day you said what you did to me at the park. I have to tell you I was confused when you told me you'd fallen in love with me, because at that time I still wasn't sure I was loveable. I was afraid I was a marked woman after the attack, and I wouldn't be able to ever offer that kind of love back. And I knew that as amazing as you are, if I felt like I couldn't love you, I'd never be successful with anybody else.

"But these last two months have been amazing. Seeing you work with the residents at the home showed me another side of your empathy and caring for others. Watching you take care of me, including giving in to me when I wanted to leave the lake today, and then this amazing supper and evening for just the two of us...it's overwhelming to a girl who needs to be overwhelmed with love like this. Eric, I want this for the rest of my life, and I know now that I feel this way because....because I've fallen in love with you.

"When I climbed over into your chair with you, it was a test, but not for you, because I knew I could trust you. It was a test to see if I could give in to my feelings for you and not let the terrors of the attack dominate me when I made close contact with you. I couldn't believe how natural it felt, Eric -- like we were supposed to be together like that to watch the fireworks show. As soon as our bodies contacted each other and we got comfortable, I knew I was in love with you. I waited to the end of the show to say anything, because that moment was just perfect, and I wanted to let it dwell in me so I could remember it the rest of my life."

She raised her head and faced him directly. "I love you, Eric. If you'll let me, I'll love you forever. I didn't think I'd ever be able to say that to a man, but I know that you are the man I want to spend forever with. I'm getting better -- I think tonight is a perfect example of that. Can you stay with me, and keep me feel safe and secure? Can you continue loving me as we work through this?"

Eric started chuckling, which brought of look of surprise to her face. "Anna, what you have asked me to do is the easiest thing in my life. Loving you is such a pleasure -- such a total sense of belonging where I need to be. You are worth whatever it takes to show you that my love for you is complete, yet still growing every day."

Anna scooted up to give Eric a kiss -- on the lips, where they lingered for a few seconds before breaking it. She lay her head down on his shoulder again, and before he knew it, she was breathing regularly, a sign that she had fallen asleep. Eric took the opportunity to reflect back on the last six months. It had been a whirlwind to be sure, and yet he knew he would continue riding the whirlwind as long as possible. Lying with her head on his shoulder, he felt very protective, and vowed to continue protecting her to the best of his ability for the rest of his life.

His next memory was being awakened by Kim, who had apparently come home and found Eric and Anna sleeping on one of the patio chaise lounge chairs. She gently tapped him on the shoulder and waited for him to open his eyes enough to see where he was and what he was doing. Eric looked down and saw that Anna was still there, with her head resting on his shoulder. He tapped her on the back to wake her up, and when she saw Kim standing there smiling over the top of them, she blushed as she sat up and stretched.

Kim chuckled and said, "Well, it looks like you two had a cozy night together. How long have you been asleep?"

Anna stood up and faced her roommate. "I don't know, but I don't think it's been very long. Eric and I came home after the beach at the lake got way too crowded. And I discovered another talent he's been hiding from us -- he's a master chef on the grill! You should have tasted the steak and veggies he cooked for me. It was the perfect evening with the perfect man!"

Eric blushed as Kim smiled at him. "The perfect man, eh?" she asked. She looked at Eric as she continued. "I didn't know there was such a thing! But it sounds like you've done enough to convince Anna of that! After all, if she slept in your arms until after midnight, she must have been comfortable!"

"After midnight?" Eric exclaimed. "I can't believe we were out here so long! I should be going -- Kim, it's always great to see you."

Kim laughed. "Likewise, I'm sure. Can I count on you coming over and cooking for Janice and me, as well as Anna sometime soon?"

Anna jumped in before Eric could answer. "Yes, you can -- I'll share my man's cooking talents with you any time! Come on, Eric -- I'll take you to your car."

She led Eric through the house and out to the front door to where his car was. As he opened his car door, Anna grabbed him and pulled him into a long hug, ending it with another kiss on the lips. As he climbed into the driver's seat, she said, "Good night, Eric -- thanks again for another perfect day. Each time we have a day like this, I don't see how it can be topped, but then you always manage to figure out how to do it."

He smiled and replied, "It's easy to have a perfect day with you, Anna. I thought it was going to be at the lake. But you showed me that something better was available. So I'd say this day was on you!"

She blew him a kiss as he started the engine. She stood outside by the driveway and watched him back into the street, before driving away. As she headed back for the house, she saw Kim standing in the doorway. When she opened the door, Kim could hardly wait to talk to her.

"So, sleeping together now?" she asked jokingly. "That's a pretty big step, don't you think?"

Anna blushed. "I know, it surprised me as well. But it seemed so natural, and there wasn't any fear of the terrors stopping me. I belong in his arms, Kim -- I know that's where I'm supposed to be. And....I told him I love him tonight. I think I knew it two months ago, when he told me. But I had to wait, if for nothing else than to give him the time to walk away, knowing that I was still a broken woman. But I'm not going to give him that chance anymore. I'm going to do all I can to show him that he needs to wait for me, as long as it takes."