All Comments on 'Circle of Red'

she had a fucked up family and friends.everybody knew her husband was fucking around and did tell her,some friends and family especially his parents.

We'll done!!!

With friends like that who needs enemies. Two yrs & none of them thought to tell her. She has his child thats still a baby. Nobody thought to tell his wife what they knew for two yrs. The husband is an idiot you never make the side bitch the main bitch especially when she's a whore bitch. She fucks for money she don't love your ass. You give up your wife & kids for that. God made him pay in the worst way. I loved when she booted Megan out.

Very good Story

Make up your mind as an author. Who is telling the story? The mom? The son? First you had the mom relate the story and in the middle of nowhere and without any warning, it's from the son's POV.

This changes from her narrating, to him, back to her, to him ... Pick one or give SOME indication the narrator has changed, such as a line of = marks.

I agree with the Anonymous's, switching POV 's midway through with no transition was confusing. That aside, I think it was fairly good, that title piques your curiosity.

Do add some transitions between the change of POV. But it is a great story. Try to continue on.

POV's were a bit confusing, but I really liked the story.

I was really enjoying the story but the quick change of pov was confusing and just stopped the flow of the story,

I have to agree with some of the comments above about POV. But my pet peeve is the use of words that don't exist. "As she grinded" was used at the beginning of one sentence in the story. Try "As she ground"

I've read this story several times, so I was surprised to see I've never left a comment of gratitude. It's just such a good, sweet, feel good story. A mother and her adoring son in love! A mother who smokes and son who is thrilled by that. A mother who teaches her son how to make love and smoke like a man. Like I said, it's a feel-good story that always keeps me coming back for me and I wish there was more to read!

-slimv

I don't know what everyone else (except for "slimv") was complaining about, with regard to the shifts back and forth in who was narrating various parts of the story. Each shift in narration was plainly labeled, on its own line - "--- Carol ---" and "--- Brent ---". About the only other thing the author could have done, to make it any more plain that there was a shift in who was telling the next part of the story, would have been to put "--- Carol ---" and "--- Brent ---" in bold-face type.

I found it sad that eleven readers could only find themselves able to complain about that, in an otherwise good story. I've been editing SSW_1050's "Mandy and Me" for 31 chapters, now (along with "A Designing Woman [6 chapters], "Bonding Time [6 chapters], and "Lifetime Tenure" [3 chapters] ) and I've never seen even ONE note of complaint regarding the shift back and forth between two characters narrating parts of the overall story!

This will probably end up being the story from your collection that I like least out of all of them. I gave you straight fives on New View. But not here. 1/5