All Comments on 'Claiming an Ally Ch. 02'

This was amazing. I love the way that you built the characters up and the sassy nature of the princess. I've got a feeling that her being spy will enable the king to keep her. 10/10 - Can't wait for the next chapter :-)

I'm so impressed with this story, I constantly look for new submisions daily! Great characters and story plot! I can't wait to read more SOON!!!!

Can't wait for it!!

I also enjoyed your second part greatly i already commented on the first one and I now actually believe this is already something great.

I just hope nothing too bad happens to Emera.

Really love your story.

Best regards.

C.

Your story is written towards those with a romantic heart. I hope that nothing truly bad happens to Em. I like your writing style. I think with practice you could actually get published. Good Luck in the Future!!!

I have read the first 3 chapters and am pining for more! You really are a gifted writer. Thanks for providing such a riveting read :o)

You write well and your characters are engaging. I agree with the other comment that this could be polished up and published. I am having difficulty with the balance between plausibility and fantasy. Obviously you have latitude with plausibility when writing in fantasy. Em's behavior, skills, fearlessness and passion are quite attractive, but within the confines of a patriarchal society they seem a bit over the top.

A suggestion would be to explore how she is viewed by others, those surrounding her who clearly would question how a woman, much less a pampered princess could possess such skills. Do they view her with disdain for being so odd? Do they pitty her for being "man-ish?" How does she see herself and accept who she is when there are no other women who would support her independence, risk taking, bravery, and marksmanship?

This was just a nit pick I have, that others may not. Don't think for a second I'm not enjoying this story, because I am. I like my characters to have flaws and when I read a story as well imagined as this, I want it to be something that sweeps me away, not forcing me to imagine my own version of how she came to be who she was and why she appears to be so readily accepted and at ease with herself.

I am really enjoying the development of their conflict. I like Emera's strength. Bravo! Can't wait for the next bit!

Always,

Jayna

One of the best story so far in the site

Well, lol didn't expect the last part, but still I don't really understand how this is nonconsent/reluctance. She has yet to be raped or even sexually stimulated without her consent or without her wanting. I really hope shit like that doesn't happen since I really enjoy the way this story is going so far.

great story, but as someone else has said i dont know why this is in the nonconsent section! keep it up though :)

Nice build up of tension.

FYI, reins are thin strips of leather which aid communication while riding a horse. A king reigns over his kingdom. Sounds the same, yet the meaning is quite different.

Thank you for sharing your creativity with us. I'm enjoying this tale and look forward to reading your others as well.

While I admit that we are still in the opening chapters, I can't help but feel this is mis-categorized. There seems to be all "Con" with really no "Non". It doesn't change the fact that it's a thoroughly enjoyable story but, more along the lines of historical romance.

could not finish it.