Clinic Trials

"And when you decide I'm too much too?" he asked softly, the experience speaking up in his voice.

"Highly unlikely," she murmured, "But if I start getting overwhelmed, I sit with you and we talk. Work out how to address it together as a team." She cupped his cheek and lifted his head slightly to look up into her eyes, the same soft warmth they always had for him. "I could ask you the same question. When I'm too much... or not enough... or if I turn you off the way I did him?"

He snorted. "Do you have any idea how difficult it's been to hide my...," he trailed off, blushing a deep red. "Er... want...," he changed what he was going to say. He was quiet, then murmured, "No. You're not going to turn me off."

She looked down at him, then shook her head before she rested her cheek on top of his and held him some more. "I've got you," she murmured after a moment. "Do you want to stay the night or would you prefer to wait?"

He thought for long moments, his mind screaming at him all of the reasons that this was a stupid idea: how worthless he was, not good for anybody, and how nobody would ever want him around in the long term. Finally, he slowly nodded his head, gathering his courage and taking a step into the dark in a way he hadn't in years. "All right. I'll try."

"OK," she murmured and pressed another kiss to the top of his head. "I'll go change for bed, then come get you. Do you have a change of clothes in your truck or do you sleep in just your boxers?"

"Depends on the weather. Tonight, I'd probably just sleep in my boxers, but... I've got groceries in the car. Why don't I drop them off at home and come back? Give you time to change...," he offered.

"That's probably a good plan," she murmured. "I'll change into a nightgown and wait for you." She hugged him again, "If..." she trailed off, "If you leave and change your mind about coming back I'll understand, just ask that you send me a text... OK?"

He paused for a long moment, then looked up into her eyes. "I'm not leaving because I changed my mind. I'm not... going to change my mind. If you're going to get upset or scared because something bad happens..." he poked his temple hard with his finger, "it'll be easier if it happens sooner rather than... later."

"I'm not going to get upset or scared," she stated firmly. "You don't scare me."

He looked at her, the fear in his eyes not going away, but there was an undercurrent of desperate hope there too. An impulse to trust one last time. "OK," he whispered. "Then... I'll be back in a little bit... Heather," he breathed.

She studied his face, then smiled sweetly, "I look forward to your return, Daddy."

His breath caught and his eyes glistened. He blinked rapidly and a hesitant smile caused his beard and mustache to twitch. "Me too... baby girl," he whispered as he stood up and walked out to his truck. It took him nearly forty-five minutes to drive home, unload and put away the groceries, pack a small bag with some clothes and his kit, and then return. He drove back up to her house and sat in the parked car for several moments, literally shivering in fear. This man who had stared down charging soldiers shooting at him was scared to death that she would turn away from him if she saw how broken he truly was. And yet, he was going to walk back into her house anyway, because maybe, just maybe, she wasn't lying. And so he walked back up to her door, carrying his backpack over one shoulder, and knocked softly.

She opened the door, smiling up at him, then stepped back, "Welcome home, Daddy. I missed you." She took his hand, closing and locking the door behind him before leading him to the bedroom. "This is our room," she offered softly. She took the bag from him and set it to one side before sliding her arms around him in a hug, her head nuzzled into his chest. "I've got you."

He slowly slid his arms around her, holding her to his chest. She was so small and his first instinct was to protect her, even if it was from him. To curl around her and make sure nothing could ever harm her, that it would hurt him instead. "I'm here," he murmured. "I'm here, baby girl."

"Missed you," she murmured into his chest. "Let's get you ready for bed. I would like to cuddle you to sleep."

He nodded, then released her to go and sit on the bed. He lifted his shoe over his knee and started to undo the knot. "I know what you said before, but, if I'm honest... I'm still worried you're not going to like what you see the longer you're around me," he confessed softly.

"I'm worried you're not going to like what you see the longer you're around me," she responded simply, sinking to her knees to help him with his shoes, then his socks and pants before rising to her feet once more. "You haven't even seen me naked... you might not like the view."

"I'm not. If it's even kind of like what I've imagined when you're...," he trailed off, then blushed again, realizing how overmuch he was sharing and perhaps, how creepy it sounded. "... er... therapy..."

Her brow furrowed slightly in confusion, and she tilted her head as she studied him. She opened her mouth and then closed it before giving him a soft, sweet smile. "Let's go to bed, Daddy. We'll see how you feel about sleeping beside me, yeah?"

He nodded, standing up and unbuttoning his flannel shirt, leaving him in just his boxers. "Is this...," he said slowly. "I brought a shirt if you don't want...," he trailed off, looking between her and his backpack.

"Are you comfortable like this?" She asked softly, her hand reaching up to cup his face. "You've been wearing only this in front of me once a week for several weeks. If you're comfortable crawling into bed to lay beside me like this, then we'll do that. If you'd prefer to wear a shirt, then you can do that. Your comfort is most important. I am comfortable with you like this."

'I am comfortable with you like this'. He stopped, letting those words sink in, then slowly, he set his flannel shirt with his pants and his shoes. "All right," he murmured. "If... you're comfortable. I get... hot," he said softly.

"You're very hot," she agreed, then blushed a dark red, turning towards the bed to turn it down. She crawled into it, then stretched out on her back near the left side and patted the bed, "I would like to cuddle you, Daddy."

He slowly walked around her bed to the other side and turned it down, then crawled in. Gingerly easing next to her, careful not to jostle or hurt her, he slowly reached out and pulled her in against him. "I've... got you, baby girl," he breathed. "I've got you..."

She snuggled into him, wrapping her arms around him in turn, "I've got you, Daddy," she murmured, nuzzling into him as she closed her eyes. Her hand stroked up and down his back, pressing him into her. "Sleep, Daddy. I love you, I have you."

He gently laid his head down on her shoulder, where his breath was soft and hot on her neck, closed his eyes, and slowly relaxed. He didn't go to sleep immediately. His mind was racing, trying to come to terms with how wonderful it felt to hold her. How soft she was, how small and precious in his arms. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt with anyone else. He didn't even notice that despite his wanting to stay awake, he drifted off to sleep, comforted in her arms.

For the first night in years, he slept dreamlessly, tucking her tighter under his bulk to protect her from the world. When the sun came up it lanced into his face and caused him to flinch, "Good morning, Daddy." Heather stroked her hands up and down his back gently. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, I..." He blinked awake and realized she was half underneath him. "God, I'm squishing you! I'm sorry...," he shifted, trying to give her some relief.

She whimpered under him, a soft squeak escaping as her face blushed bright red. His knee was between her legs and when he shifted to move he ground against bare skin at the v of her legs, feeling the dampness of her core against his thigh. "It's...." she swallowed. "I enjoyed having you on me."

"I... Oh," he said softly. He lifted his head to look down into her eyes as his brow furrowed, "Really? It wasn't... hard to breathe?" he asked. "I'm not exactly... small..."

"I wasn't having any issues breathing, you kept most of your weight lower..." she trailed off. "We promised to be honest with each other. Yes, you were squishing me, but it was a pleasurable squish and I was enjoying it. I like being pinned to the bed and helpless..." she blushed red. "I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable."

He shook his head. "Not uncomfortable. Just... didn't want to hurt you," he said softly. "Don't want to ever hurt you... precious...," he said quietly. His eyes were so soft as he looked at her, that her heart simply melted into a puddle.

"I promise, you didn't hurt me," she stated simply. "You didn't make it hard for me to breathe, you didn't make me uncomfortable. I like your weight on me, I like you holding me." She bit her lower lip, then tucked her head into his chest wishing desperately that she had a magic wand to help him see what she thought, how she felt. How being pinned was arousing and made her ache, she wished she was brave enough to tell him, but with how hesitant he was she didn't think it was a good idea.

"Ok. OK...," he said, slowly easing back to the position he'd been in. "I... liked it. Felt like... I was protecting you. From... I don't know. But... it was nice. I didn't... have the nightmares. It's been a long time since...," he trailed off again, his arm tightening around her body again as his face once more found her neck. Not quite kissing her, his lips barely touched the skin as he held her.

She shivered slightly, a faint giggle escaping at the tickle of his beard before her hand reached up to stroke over his head and gently massage the back of his neck. "I did too. Now, would you like the first shower or would you like me to take the first shower? Nicole will be getting up soon, luckily it's Saturday."

He thought about it for a moment, then his arm tightened again and he nodded slowly. "Bed," he said simply.

"Bed?"

"Stay in bed," he nodded again. It seemed like a really good plan. She was soft, and she smelled fantastic.

"I can't stay in bed all day," she objected, "We need to have breakfast, and feed Nicole. Then spend time with her." She ran her hands over his head, "But nothing says you can't stay the night again tonight," she pointed out logically. "Or that you can't hold me or cuddle me while we're doing other things."

He sighed. "I know...," he murmured. "It was just... you're so... comfortable," he murmured.

"I'm a squishmallow," she giggled softly, then stroked her hand up and down his chest, gently combing through his hair. "I'm touching you, Daddy."

He nodded. "You're the first in quite a while...," Deacon said softly. "I don't know how to tell you how good that feels..."

"Just say it?" She stated simply. "I can't read your mind, I don't have a magic crystal ball, Daddy. If I do something you like, tell me. If I do something you don't like, tell me. If you want or need something, tell me. If you don't want me to do something, tell me."

"No, I... I don't know how to describe it. The English. It's better than good. Better than wonderful...," he trailed off, trying to explain.

"OK, Daddy," she stated simply and continued to gently touch him, her hands warm, soft, and small on his body. She enjoyed touching him, a smile on her lips as she watched her hands trace patterns on his skin. "So I keep touching you."

Deacon nodded, then on impulse, he shifted slightly and pressed a soft, intentional kiss to her neck. "As long as you still want to," he said. "Not going to tell you to stop..."

A soft whimper of pleasure escaped at the feel of his lips on her skin. She continued to gently touch his body, one hand massaging his scalp and the back of his head, the other tracing patterns on his chest. "Not going to tell you to stop either, Daddy. I love touching you, being in your arms. Makes me feel warm..." She paused, and then a blush and a soft giggle escaped. "Love the feel of you between my legs too... so hard being a good girl every time I straddled you... wanted to beg you to turn over so I could ride you."

"Yeah?" he breathed softly. "I'm so used to... scaring women away. Like an ogre," he said softly. "They say women like bigger men, but if you get too big...," he trailed off.

"I don't know about that," she stated simply, "I just know that I like you and being around you."

He pondered that for several moments, then tightened his arm around her and rolled, pulling her with him as he rolled onto his back placing her on top of him. "Like this?" he asked softly, looking up at her, his arms gently wrapping around her waist.

She mewled softly and sprawled on his chest. Her thighs pressed to either side of his hips and she held him, nuzzling into his warmth, "Uh-huh..." she breathed. "But with nothing between us... nothing to keep you from claiming your baby girl." She closed her eyes to bask in having him holding her, trying to shove her desires back in their box until he was ready for it. "I'm a good girl, Daddy."

"A very good girl," he agreed softly. "More than I deserve," he added, rubbing her back with his big hands. "So very good..."

"I disagree, Daddy," she stated firmly, melting into his grip with a soft mewl of pleasure. "Besides, even if I am... we don't actually live in a world where people get what they deserve. I want to be good to you and care for you, it makes me happy to do so. I want to give you everything you desire. I can't, but I want to."

He was silent as he looked into her eyes. His hands released her back and moved up to cup both sides of her face. "I'm starting to think that maybe... just maybe... everything I desire is right under this roof..."

"Yeah?" She asked softly, her head tilted to rub her cheek into his hand. She leaned down and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his lips. "Welcome home, Daddy."

His eyes softened slightly and a small, but relaxed smile settled onto his lips. "Hi, Baby Girl...," he breathed before guiding her head down again for another kiss. This one, while gentle, lingered as he took another step into the dark. As he did though, he felt more than he saw in his mind, a small, feminine hand reaching and taking his, steadying and guiding him as he walked the unfamiliar ground.

She sighed in pleasure, melting into the kiss, then laid her head on his chest as she held him and his hands returned to her back. "I could stay like this for all time," she confessed softly, her mind relaxing as she basked in his warmth and the sound of his heartbeat. "What would you like for breakfast? Normally we make waffles."

"You mean besides you?" he asked, a small bit of the playful that he had long forgotten slipping out. He snapped his mouth shut and blushed at how brazen the statement had been.

A soft squeak and he felt her cheeks warm against his chest as she blushed a dark red, "I'm more of a snack than a full-on breakfast, Daddy. But maybe you could have me for dessert after dinner tonight," she teased softly. The hand tugged and he took another small, careful step.

"Yeah?" he asked softly. "You wouldn't think that too... quick?" he asked softly.

She was silent for a long moment, her hands gentle as she continued touching him. "I think, that we can't compare our relationship to others. We've been seeing each other weekly over the past several weeks. I feel safe with you. Yes, it's quick, but I don't think it's too quick. I think we're going to go as fast or as slow as we need to." She lifted her head to look down at him, "Plus I've had lots of fantasies about us..."

He looked up into her eyes, searching, before he finally whispered, "You and me both. It's incredibly hard not to when you're... rubbing on me for an hour a week." He paused, then added, "I guess I never really thought about it like that. I always thought... dates and then maybe, if she wants, some kissing and months later maybe... that. Except... it never worked. I assumed it was me..."

She leaned down to kiss his lips, "You can be the perfect package, just at the wrong address." She smiled down at him, then sat up slightly to pull on her nightgown so it was a little looser at her neck. "You're perfect for me. I want to be perfect for you. We'll work on everything else, together." She leaned down and pressed her lips to his again gently, this time she nibbled on his lower lip and darted her tongue in to explore his mouth with a soft whimper.

He took another step. His hands reached down to gently cup her bottom as he kissed her, a soft, low groan of pleasure echoing from his throat as they kissed. Then, without breaking their contact, he rolled again, this time, tucking her under him and he pressed her gently into the bed, careful to keep the bulk of his weight from simply crushing her. Hesitantly, his tongue emerged from his mouth and licked softly at her lips, tasting her.

She gasped at the shift, then a soft, needy little noise echoed from her chest and into his mouth, it was part whimper and part whine. She licked at his tongue, playfully teasing it, then sucked it into her mouth, encouraging his explorations. Her hand came up to cup the back of his head and gently massage it in a decadent offering of pleasure and a slow-building need.

Gently, a contrast to his frame, he explored her mouth, his tongue curling sensuously against hers with the softest of touches. His groan continued, giving her ears a symphony of satisfied pleasure to listen to as the kiss dragged on. Finally, their lips parted, leaving each panting for breath as he stared into her eyes. "My... Baby Girl," he breathed.

"Yes, Daddy," she murmured, smiling that warm smile up at him. "Your Baby Girl, Daddy." She stroked her hands down his back, then lifted up to kiss him tenderly again, sucking on his lower lip. This time her hips rocked, grinding up against his groin gently, teasing him.

He blinked and smiled a shy smile as she rubbed herself against his already semi-hard cock through his boxers. "You really have no idea how incredibly sexy you are, do you Baby Girl?" he breathed. "Without even trying..."

Her nose crinkled slightly, "Not really. I never thought of myself as sexy... I'm kinda big for my height and..." she trailed off, her eyes darkening slightly, "Nobody ever seemed to want me."

He reached up with one hand, supporting himself with his other, and touched her cheek. "Look into my eyes." When she slowly did, he murmured, "I... want you, Heather. All of you. Your body is sexy as hell and I'm turned on right now just touching you. But...," he trailed off and his hand lowered to gently touch the skin between her breasts. "I want this too. It's... more kind and gentle than any I've seen and... it might be selfish... but I need that." He paused, then offered softly, "I've seen... a lot of bad. I still... see it. I can't help it. I'm going to take a lot of patience, but...," he bent and brushed his lips across hers briefly. "I think you're worth the things I'm going to have to fight through," he finished.

"I'll fight with you," she offered softly, "By your side, every step of the way." She lifted up to brush her lips against his again, sucking on his lower lip because she loved the way he tasted. Her tongue darted in to explore his mouth once more and her hips rocked up, grinding against his cock teasingly.

A soft growl escaped his chest as he melted into her kiss. The hand that had touched her chest, slid lower cupping her breast through her nightgown and squeezing softly. Their tongues dueled as his thumb flicked lazily over her nipple. Finally, he shifted, his lips trailing along her jawline and when he reached her ear, he grunted, "Fuck, you feel so good, Baby Girl..."