All Comments on 'Close Friends but Closer Buddies Ch. 02: Scott'

The eagerly awaited sequel. Hopefully, there won't be another. Pardon me while I puke.

In part 1 I said I would wait to see where this was going...Pity that it's going down...He said in part 1: "My wife and I have been married about 10 years. I love her very much...", then at the 1st chance he cheated with her friend...And if his wife founds out he will say: "It´s nothing, it's just sex, honey"!!! Where did we hear this kind of bullshit talk in LW? Is there any difference? What was the difference between him and the husband of his lover? Why did that husband cheated? He only knew her version...And he had to fuck her with the kids near by...what if they showed without them noticing? So where this story is going? with at least 3 cheaters in it (we don't know yet about his wife) this only can go each part lower and lower...1*

These characters are behaving like many humans do. You have to appreciate how the guy feels. A sexy woman throws herself at him and he's weak. He has a sexy wife, and the other woman's husband, the cop, likes to play around, so it looks like a formula for disaster. Not the usual super good husband and the cheating slut wife. So far, three of the four characters are unfaithful. We will learn more about the wife, I am sure.

The wife knows that her cop husband cheats,so why not get a divorce. Why ruin a good marriage for a roll in the hay. Why does he succumb to his neighbors advances. No good can come of this affair. And they both have children. Just a poor story on adultery .

Holy Shit! This is erotica, erotic fiction. Most of the stories on this site are about fantasizing the what if. Adultery in the mind. The story is ok, like anything on here, a little refinement is needed, and it reads like a porno. I'm ok with that. It seems that there will be more, so lets see where it goes. Forget the few moronic comments about marriage morality and take to heart the more critical ones to hone your craft. Maybe some of the next readers will do that

This type of story is not for everyone. I happen to love this genre. Love chaeting husband stories. If you don't, move on!

This is starting to look like a caricature of a failed marriage. Cheating is a symptom, not the problem. The first woman to approach him and he's fucking her the first opportunity, indicating a very shallow tepid relationship with his wife, despite the words to the contrary; actions speak louder. Haven't decided if the guy is just cheap and stupid, or lacks the character and ethics to be a good husband. Being married to a medical professional you think he would be more savvy to the possibility of getting and passing on an STD. Yeah, even from a doctor, especially one who just insinuated that he is not her first fuck buddy.

Great sex is no substitute for a great marriage, but I guess we each have to make that decision for ourselves. In this case he is having great sex with a great wife and a great family and a bright future and . . ., how fucking greedy and stupid can you be? Yes, he relates some ups and downs in the sex department, but it sounds like things are going great right now. Kate's situation is entirely different, and understandable. But she is heartless and unethical to ensnare a friend's husband with a good marriage, which makes you wonder if Kate is not at least partly to blame for her failing marriage. She has just demonstrated that she is selfish, impetuous, careless with others lives, and a stupid risk taker. Not the qualities of a good wife or mother.

So even though it is a standard formula plot, you are executing it well enough. Just because some of your characters suck doesn't mean your story does. Its all about truth and consequences. When and how does the truth come out, and how just and reasonable are the consequences. That will be your challenge if you don't want to be the author of just one more jack-off cheating asshole and whore story.

Good luck with it, and thanks for your efforts to this point. Think I will withhold rating still I see the completed story.

Isn't it strange how the average tone of comments about this story are so different from the vitriol it would have received had the genders been reversed.

"Isn't it strange how the average tone of comments about this story are so different from the vitriol it would have received had the genders been reversed."

Which comments are you reading? They seem to be the same as usual to me. Half hate cheaters, the other half are cheaters.

"Which comments are you reading?"

Very few of the resident insecure closet cuckies bother to comment on the cheating hubby stories - some simple deductive logic solved that mystery for ya.

May I first of all congratulate you on a good story well told.

This is the first time I have commented on Literotica for a long time (well over a year) both because the story is so good and because there are a number of defects (in my opinion) that could be improved on relatively easily.

First of all, what is good. You have an interesting plot with interesting twists. The characters are built up by detail and ‘showing’ their character rather than just saying. The husband and Kate both come alive and are credible. While most women would not behave like Kate, a few would and you paint both her motivation and character. The scenes bringing in Quinn and Eileen are excellent (though the Eileen scene in particular is hard to follow. The wife Joan is the least ‘real’ of the characters though you paint a good background build up for her – you just do not follow it through in what she says or does.

There is good dynamic tension in what he will do & also in the wife liking how turned on he is without realising it is because of her friend – or perhaps she does.

We are left expecting a train crash but unsure how it will pan out. Excellent. You do not need to write a third chapter but I am left extremely interested in reading it if you do - & hoping it will not be some form of cop out.

What stands out is that you get inside his head giving his thoughts & doubts.

There are nice details in plotting such as the masturbation scene and some of your phrasings are lovely such as ‘informal, make yourself comfortable sort of person’

Now for the weaknesses. In my view the weakest scenes are the sex scenes because unlike in the build-up you do not show his thoughts and feelings. So when he has sex with his wife, he is spurred on by thoughts of Kate. Then he is purely ‘doing’ with no guilt or thoughts of Kate. Is that likely? Similarly with sex with Katie, what is he thinking and feeling? The sex scenes would be far, far more erotic if you showed inside his head.

Another smaller point is that you give quite a run down on Kate’s character. Now if the story had been true, some of this would have been from Scott’s own observation and some from what Joan told him – which if shown would have added piquancy and made the story more ‘real’.

These points are not about making the story fit my personal buttons, they are about following the existing thrust of your story better.

As you probably realise, you make quite a few errors in writing and also clumsy writing in places. To give just a couple of examples ‘in a different place than other people’ would be better as ‘different place from other people’, ‘changed and morphed’ is just pointless repetition – morphed means changed. I can give numerous other examples. It is not about nitpicking; clumsy writing gets in the way of the reader – which is a pity.

My advice would be either to get an editor (one who will not try to override your story or style) or do what I did on my two stories (before I got diverted to the poetry section) – which was to read it through to myself over and over again, picking out and changing any bits that felt awkward.

Anyway – I look forward to reading more from you.

Hubby is created as a self-absorbed horn-dog. Seems inconsistent with his indecision about Kate.

A friend wouldn’t give in to the whore.