All Comments on 'Closing Time 02 - FTDS'

unreadable confusing boring pile of shit

I wish you haven't finished it and tried to make it something romantic lol. It failed.

Crap, what I just wrote is even better then the shit I just read

Why would you give this woman and Albert a decent ending? Are you serious? She literally ruined her family and just gets to go start a new one. Wow.

Well she was a saleswoman that's for sure. A corporate whore. She deserves to be lonely.

The only comment I can make is "STOP USING THE FTDS NAME!" You are not them nor can you write nearly as well as they can.

Wow. You turned that into absolute garbage. Probably should have quit while you were ahead. Seriously, how did you convince yourself that this was a good direction to take this? You owe me about 8 minutes of my life back.

So this stupid bitch literally whored herself. Then cried losing her family, seemingly wanting to get them back somehow, but never tried. She ruined it and also essentially walked away. Yeah karma comes for those people two fold.

Well this was unsatisfying. I feel like the FTDS name was taken in vain.

This is a disjointed mess of a two chapter story that contains not even one likeable soul. Given how well they run their lives, all of the adult characters would be destitute in reality. The wealth that miraculously appears through stock soothsaying and emotionally deranged painting is a potent reminder this distasteful submission is set in some malignant, anti-matter universe to which one visit is way more than enough.

Simple suggestion …Ribtickling…as our English teacher used to say..read what you have written once before submitting your assignment !! Confusing Arnold with Albert so many times pours to just this! If you respect ur readers it’s actually take some time and read the shit you post! Even if it’s pathetic and disgustingly vile…zero! For such and wimpy part 2

Too bad after a first chapter of good quality, but this one is just too stupid and too ridiculous. 1⭐

Hahaha this reminds me of a national lampoon piece , it was tragically hilarious, darkly brilliant and subtly blatant ! I’ve been forced into giving it 5 stars but only because I have to !!! Great work

One of the most utterly depressing stories I have ever read. This tale is utterly amoral there is no happy ever after. The sociopathic narcissist slut wife...dumps her family like a used disposable diaper...then the bitch gets her happy ever after with the predator that "claimed" her worthless self. In essence this worthless tale is a celebration of what I perceive as core evil... It celebrates sexual addiction...and the using of all others as merely walking tools to gratify one's momentary impulsive lusts. As such it is one of the most destructive depraved and frankly sickening pieces of trash I have yet read on this site.

I gave it 1 star....because I find it simply sickening when the bad guys are CELEBRATED as good.

piss poor - 1*

What a load

Her son was right. She was a prostitute

This is one of the most disgusting stories I've ever read. This is the absolute extreme way a "strong" business woman spreads her legs and prostitutes herself to get ahead. Your story set good business women back 50 years.

Terrible people doing terrible things to innocent family members with zero consequences is the worst. Arnold, Caroline and Kevin are far better off without the selfish bitch in their lives.

Part 1 was pretty good.

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The direction you took with this ending was about as bad as it gets around here without being the usual cuck crap. Illogical…confusing….stupid. Just bloody awful.

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Massive fail.

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1 *

Maintained my interest throughout, only due to one factor, the only major point of the entire story that guaranteed readership. That point being that all of the characters portrayed were not impactful in the least. The entire hook to the story is that Sarah is completely delusional.

The author’s mistake was during the epilogue, where it is stated “Thanks to Sarah’s initiative…”. Any reader who believes that Sarah had any initiative, or that she was somehow a ‘player’ in the business is equally delusional. A term comes to mind that I haven’t recently heard: malarkey.

I enjoyed the story until the ending. I think her husband and children deserved a better ending. I am also disappointed that the cheater came away with a happy ending, while the innocents had to pay a significant emotional price, losing a wife and mother.

I really did not like this story. It was stupid people doing stupid things for no proper reason. Sarah being the prime mover. But those around her were stupid as well with the exception of her two children. There were no redeemable features for any of them

The story grated and irritated no end.

Scores 2/5

This one is difficult to score; I want to score it lower than it most likely deserves and am questioning myself why. Normally the cheating wife story goes one of two ways; spankbank or vengeance.

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In many of the betrayed spouse stories, the aggrieved party meets a better choice of partner the second time around and this allows the happily-ever-after endings that many readers crave. These after divorce romances have become almost a standard epilogue, but this may the first time I have seen that trope developed from the point of view of the cheating party. She paid the price of losing her family, but does end up with a younger, talented and wealthy man that worships her.

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Our puritanical angel on our shoulder would whisper "That bitch doesn't deserve happiness after being such a stupid, disrespectful slut!"

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The contrasting devil would give their standard reply "Deserve don't have SFA to do with how things end up."

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So the cheating slut lives a life of love and luxury with no negative repercussions. You are a waste to writing and a waste to humanity. This story is a complete piece of shit.

Well, that was time spent reading that I'll never get back

Sehr enttäuschende Geschichte voller nicht nachzuvollziehender Entscheidungen der Protagonisten.

This could have been a fine story with well developed characters and a dark, off beat plot. Unfortunately, we get a purely gratuitous, unforced error: "Forever. Walk away from the Firstens. Come back into my arms. We'll get past this." I am convinced that most authors here are misandrist feminist cunts or self-hating males. IRL, and "IRL" does matter when the husband is written as reasonably normal, no man would say that to a lying, cheating wife who has whored herself out. Despite her cold blooded, mercenary betrayal of her husband and children, the husband gets written as the stereotypical weak, needy, unprincipled, faggot of an LW husband. The vast majority of LW male authors need hormone replacement therapy to get them back in touch with what it is to be a man. The feminist bitches need to be sent to a re-education camp to help them shed their feminist false consciousness.

That was very depressing. Nothing and no one to like or care about. The wife turned into a whore and kept being a whore. And she abandoned her children? For what exactly? And when her looks and stamina and health fades away her joung stud will fuck around on her. As I said very depressing.

I enjoyed the first story. In this follow-up, I was not sure where I saw it going. I love a good BTB.

However, having said that, your story took an intriguing twist to BTB. It was not a RAAC. But had the cheating party not lose everything and in the end had a means to still be content in the results of the situation they caused.

She had full understanding the issues were solely of her creating. She was swept up in the hype and wanted a win for herself. This would allow everyone to see she was a capable person in the family. Your story gave details that I enjoyed reading in the build up towards the ultimate conclusion.

While many readers will not like the direction you took the story, I am not one of them.

5 Stars and keep writing

JH4Fun

Reading it was like getting a root canal. The dialogue was inane, excessive, and flat. This story could have been just as boring in half the words! 3*.

I enjoyed this story very much.

5* and thanks.

Well I didn't really like this becoming a Cinderella fantasy for a deranged whore but it was entertaining.

"It's something I should have kept strictly between her and me." - Besides the fact that the kids were already involved, having them there denies her the opportunity to lie or spin things.

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Albert obviously came a long way with his fingers almost touching her exposed breast!

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"Tell him about the IPO, and that we don't want to discuss it during regular business hours with our staff around." - They can't go into a private office or conference room?

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"With his father's goading, that included the one I didn't let my husband visit." - Why the fuck do they always do that? I don't care if hubby wants or has asked for her ass, if he doesn't get it, nobody does.

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"Sure, there was the satisfaction of helping a young man with a personality disorder have a normal relationship with a woman..." - As she herself said, there was nothing "normal" about their relationship.and his father could have hired an escort just as easily.

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"She said the first thing I needed was a motion to be allowed back in my house. I explained that I wasn't there by my own choice." - She IS still in the house, albeit downstairs, and NOT by her own choce.

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"So you must think I'm an idiot as well, because I'm a big part of the program." - She's admitted that she doesn't understand the IPO.

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They're at Launch Day, suddenly it's the weekend with no news?

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"The owner says he's limiting it to five hundred copies." - I thought it was 300, or is he expanding?

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I realize the gallery takes a cut, and I don't know how many pictures sold, but one went for over $500 thousand, and he only netted a little over $750,000?

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So Arnold is charging MORE for a less exclusive newsletter?

LOL-one guy was forced to give this garbage a five star rating, only because he had to. LOL Crazy readers in this category.

Isn't a FTDS story supposed to improve on the original? You failed miserably. 1* And yes, please stop using the FTDS name. These guys put you to shame. Fuck off and don't write anymore.

You're going to hell for trashing FTDS name with this pile of shit.

Awful. Simply awful. An insane waste of time.

Thanks for finishing this. No thanks for giving Sarah everything she didn't deserve.

What an incredible load of crap, particularly the epiloge. The slut an Albert get a happily ever after and the author hints that she has some remorse over what she did to her family. That's hard to believe when she went all in in her efforts to leave them on her rear view mirror. There have been some heartless, low life pieces of shit portrayed on this site but Sarah might be in the top ten. The author had the opportunity to add some reality to the situation by having them end up poor and homeless with recriminations and backbiting for their situation. But instead the miraculous appearance of artistic excellence out of the blue was more than I could take.

You should be ashamed for using FTDS name. You're too big a pussy to carry his jockstrap.

The narrative was well written but the plot lines had enough holes in them to look like a screen door. There was no mention she was miserable as a wife or high risk for an affair. She was knowingly played by both father and son, yet fell in love with the man who intentionally ripped her away from her family. Other than a single anecdotal comment, she never feels overwhelming remorse for losing everything. Just can’t get my head around all those gaps. 3*

A cheating wife who walks away from husband AND kids without a second thought, for nothing more than a bit of money? She must be a pathetic sociopath or something. How do you walk away from your own kids? Maybe she's on the spectrum, not her boyfriend, but they're still very much alike. Neither one cared that they destroyed the whore's family. Hope the boyfriend will be happy cuddling with a woman 15 yrs older than him, who's only staying with him because he has money.

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3 stars. I don't like stories where bad people win and this cheating wife is one of the worst. Toss in some ambiguous morals and it makes this piece of crap unworthy of being read.

Wow, abandons and betrays her family but got the happy end? I dont even believe that she ever loved her family with the way you portrayed her. Had no problems to fuck around, didnt care about her children and fell in love with her lover after one fuck. Says alot about her.

Ugh. What the Devil is happening to LW's! A cheating whore (by her own admission) gets to come up smelling like a ROSE?? UNCONSCIONALBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hated it. Bad enough the whore abandoned a loving husband for money, but left her kids too. At no time does she voice regret. Fucked father and son, who just happens to be major art talent and will apparently live happily ever. No consequence. No pain. Just wine and roses.

So she whores around, destroys her poor family then everything turns out peachy for her and her scum bag employers? Just plain sad. Instead of BTB this is a burn the family.

Hopefully we can get Saddletramp to put a proper ending on this shit show and burn these assholes.

WTF?

This one takes the cake for having neither rhyme nor reason. However, it's your story and your imaginary universe. One final point is, the story as delivered had nothing in common with the universe which the author known in this site as FTDS would have described, so in a very real sense this one felt like deceptive advertising.

Finishing the story is not like shooting a crippled horse to put it (and your readers) out of their misery. Not sure where you were trying to go with this damned thing, but you have a gold digging whore who prostitutes herself out rationalizing that "she is doing it for the family". We find out she is arrogant thinking she know more than her husband, and a husband who already does not trust his wife because he is hiding income from her. 300 subscriptions at $350 is $105K/month. So he could have let her in on that months earlier and made her a stay at home mom, but instead he knew what was happening and let her self destruct? Leads me to believe he wanted her ass gone.

So the ending of this story, husband loses gold digger, gains new girlfriend/wife. Ex-wife ends up as cougar with 15 year younger stud making fortune in art work and having her pop out more babies in marriage 2.0?? 2 stars at best.

"Sometimes the wrong action accomplishes what's needed."

It seems that you need to rewrite history. Why not give Hitler and all the nazis a happy ending? That's your thing.

Disgusting.

0 star - I did not like this story - it is not a very good idea.

Rambling with weak characters and uncredited POV changes. A story in search of a plot, or perhaps the other way around. 2/5.

Prepare yourself for a shit show of well deserved criticism. I think you think you're smart with your FTDS ending but in thus genre you just cut your own throat. I would not bother with story 24. Just sayin' LOL!

Someone please write an ending to this that goes completely nuclear on the bitch wife and the asshole father and son team.

Anon, I don't know if even Saddletramp can fix this buggered up excuse of a story. Maybe ribnitin could ask him nicely, huh.

You burn the innocent family and let's the bitch live happily ever after. What a lowlife piece of shit you are. You had to know you were going to get slaughtered writing this bullshit. Yet you did. You deserve every bit of the grief you're getting.

Ha, I'm not in the majority here, it would appear, but this seems like a good tribute to FTDS. Ok, yeah, FTDS tended to burn the cheater, but except for a zillion to one shot, the cheater would have been burned. I'd rather say that this was a good job, and thank you for sharing it, instead of giving it a 1 and telling you it was crap - it's wasn't.

Thank you!

The author has clearly written this story to draw out the wrath of the LW readership and he has succeeded brilliantly. I hope he gets a good laugh out of reading all the inane comments!

You reward a whore for destroying her family, traumatizing her children and deeply cheating on her husband? You really have to have the right character for it! Unfortunately, this is how our world has become. The liars, deceivers and destroyers triumph over the pure people! 1*!!!

It's incredible.....you've actually managed to sink further down the hole of non-talent and infinitesimal writing ability with each trash heap you post.

One of the worst stories I've read on this site. Cheating whore of a wife that come out on top. She wasn't even concerned about her own children.

A fun story! Excellent! Thank you *****

Cheating where gets rewarded

I did not like this ending at all...in fact I hated it with a passion. Unfortunately it's real life - not that this woman conveniently finds a brilliant 24 year old wonderboy artist that can make $750K in one showing ( I don't know much about art but does that ever happen?). - that was unrealistic and stupid as was the entire scenario.

The realistic part is that cheating spouses often do get what they want. Jerry Seinfelds wife was a home a week from her honeymoon with the love of her life, met Jerry at the gym, had an affair, divorced the poor dude, married Seinfeld and is still married 20 something years later. Not sure what happened to the first guy.

I do well, but my first wife had a heartless affair when I lowly Marine Cops Pilot off at war. She divorced me when i returned and married the high powered corporate lawyer 20 years her senior and has lived a lush life traveling the world. She'll never admit it was a mistake or care one way or another what it did to me (practically destroyed me) to this day. Best decision she ever made she tells people (and no, I was not an abuser, cheater, etc and I was a good enough father that the courts awarded me primary custody of our daughter). Can she look at herself in the mirror? Hell if I know. If not, she'll never admit it.

Point is that most cheaters find a way to justify their actions till the day they die....in some cases maybe it really was a good decision on their part (aka Mrs. Seinfeld).

It's much more fun to read a good BTB story where the cheating wife is either remorseful and the loss of her marriage by her own actions and it ruins her life forever, or she ends up as a drug addicted whore in a Mexican brothel and is disowned by her family. Sometimes these types of things might actually happen but usually cheaters find a way to justify their their decision to themselves and their friends and family and either live happily ever after or appear to.

So the story may have been more "real" from that standpoint but I really didn't like reading it.

3☆ because, while grammatically sound it wandered off into weird directions and pt 2& 3 could have been much shorter without taking away from the story. Also, no real delineation when switching POV's made it tricky to follow at times.

Perhaps bringing along the BTB crowd into a feel good about the cheater story won’t leave you a good rating but I enjoyed the rise, thanks

A story of a sort that I haven't read on Literotica before. It is well written even if a bit too kind to Sarah. The switch from Arnold's telling of Sarah's betrayal to Sarah's view point is confusing. It seems like the author started the story in one direction and then changed it 180 degrees from chapter one to two. I think the second chapter should not have happened and the first chapter have an ending where Sarah gets more of what she deserves.

No, not too keen on this one. Sarah destroys her family by becoming a paid (in stock options) whore. Ending up pregnant by a man she works for. What a grade A bit*h! Sarah was obviously only interested in what Sarah wanted. She never asked her husband for details about why the pharmaceutical company was a bad investment. The little she did ask about she shoved off as inconsequential. Albert is a piece of crap too. He was savvy enough to know she was married with kids and at least at one time loved her family. Albert didn't give a single thought to breaking up Sarah's family. Albert carries as much blame as Sarah for doing so. Arnold needs to get some fresh meat from Albert, make sure Albert never fathers another kid. Way too much wrongful treatment in this one.

Okay

3

Yeah, you finished it all right--finished it to an illogical conclusion.

Decently written, but went so far off track it didn't tie back to the original which was a disappointment considering how good the original was.

It may have been better to call this a companion piece rather than FTDS. The title raised expectations which was impossible to meet with the direction the story went. A title like "Closing Time - Out of the Phoenix Ashes" may be better suited.

Three stars. Not great, not horrible, just meh.

crap and a whore

but he saved Arnold and his children's lives. Hell, the dumb shit cuck was going to take her back, until he found out she was not only a whore, but a brainless knocked up whore. Their mother prostituted herself, ignored her family and fucked some retard for money, for her Family! That was the final lesson, her legacy of deceit and betrayal, she left with her children. And her new "husband" is a selfish deceitful manipulative bastard, who will someday have the same personality and values as his fucked up father. And why shouldn't he, his father's methods and values gave him another man's wife to become his fuck toy and baby factory. Once he's used her aging ass up I wonder what kind of pasture he will farm her out to, probably send her to nurse his geriatric father with some pity fucks and change his diapers.

One day her new children will meet up with their abandoned step brother and sister, and her last shred of dignity and humanity will be sacrificed on the altar of truth and full disclosure. They will be grateful she gave them life, but they will always carry the shame of the selfishness and deceit from which they were begat. By that time their father will be remarried to the trophy he deserves, and their mother will be an albatross around their necks, whom they will shelter, and feed, and clothe, and otherwise avoid. Sarah will end her great new life herself, with pills and alcohol, the whole time claiming she did everything for the benefit of the people she loved. And while only her last act will actually fit that claim, even that will be her final and complete act of selfish disregard for anyone other than her desires, her pleasure, her pain. Perhaps Albert will use her ashes as pigment in his last painting of her, as one of the souls depicted in Dante's Inferno. Hows that for FTDS yourself? Thanks for your effort.

Sarah not only whored herself; she was a prostitute, basically accepting investing money in an unproven "SCAM", ruined her loving family, took up with a horny young man and through her life away. She deserves nothing but bad breaks and have her and new family live on the street...

I think you wrote this just to be an asshole. You got your feelings hurt and panties in a wad because people called you out for not having a proper ending to the first story. So you wrote the most disgusting, vile ending you could come up with. Must suck to be the petty little wimp you are.

I do not understand why so many readers are upset about immoral characters in a category devoted to CHEATING spouses. I am surprised at the expectations for a Hollywood (or perhaps Disney) ending where the bad people get punished and the good rewarded.

FTDS is an acronym, before it is a name. Please read the comments to part 1 if you want to understand why I made it part of the title.

Many of the critiques in the comments make useful points. Many don't. Thanks for reading the story and commenting (whether you gave it a 1 or a 5).

You dare to mention Disney, Really, and really Hollywood…Someone is delusional

Seems like you wrote two bad stories. Try again.

How about just making it semi interesting and just a smidge logical? Would that have been too much to ask. 1

Well, this was a train wreck. Nonsensical shifts in behavior, implausible twists in the plot, and an out of touch perspective on the financial industry. You write dialogue well, but the story line pinballs so weirdly the most important characters don’t resonate. Should have stopped after the first installment.

That was obviously more complex than some folks expected! I don't understand the caterwauling over people not getting what they deserve: that's how life is. This was an interesting story. Please, though, at least use a chapter heading when you change from one narrator to another!

this story is so bad I have now added you to my rejected writer category. Now I won't see any of your crap.

Have a nice day and may you live in interesting times.

What a convoluted load of crap

What an a solute mess of a story! Is it over, finished? Doesn't seem that way to me. Just another collection of clichés strung together while to core of the story disappeared somewhere.

Dear author, yeah most of us come here to read Disney endings. 95% of the people reading here want to see the bad people totally destroyed. Knowing in real life that's probably not going to happen. This is our outlet from reality. That should be pretty obvious to you from the score you got and the comments. So don't complain when you write a story like this and it goes over like a turd in the punch bowl. As another commenter said "I think you got mad at the commenters of the first part and purposely wrote this disgusting ending". I completely agree. So you reaped what you sowed. Try writing a story where you destroy the bad people and look at the responses and scores you get.

This entry left me wanting less, it’s amazing when a writer can create a story and characters that leave wanting to never hear or see their names again. They all sucked! I was hoping maybe I could fall asleep watch Freddy Krueger kill them all!

@ribnitin, we're not upset at immoral characters in LW, that IS what the category is all about. Many (most?) of us prefer to see the immoral characters pay for their immorality.

This was worse than a cuck story! To make that bitch come out on top was a miscarriage of writing justice. 1*

Nah.

I reread this because I still am amazed at just how disgusting this craven tale ends up. It employs the use of the most blatant and inane Deux Ex Machina to change the ending from utter and frankly well deserved disaster for the slut wife and lover to a Cinderella ending for the "masterful" painter and now revered mate...is probably the lamest off stage entrance of a massive plot hole fix I have yet scene on this site. Only the very worst of authors pull this kind of newb hat trick...

Still 1 star...only wish that we could go lower...

"We both drifted towards sleep.

I was taking a chance by going out with the Firstens just a few days after the blow-out in The Hamptons parking lot." - DON'T change narrators, but if you MUST, give some indicator! "We both" was told by the husband, the next para was told by the wife.

The wife in this story is a miserable creating piece of shit who dumped all over her family. Yet some how this “author” wrote her a happy ending. This crap deserves less than zero stars.

I see by the overwhelming negative comments most readers(commenters) needed a different more BTB ending. From my experience and sideline viewing of real life the ending was VERY realistic. She moved on with a new husband, suffered a few regrets but had a successful second marriage and life. The ex-husband found a new love and wife and life moves on. Everyone was financially successful. The end. (I was the cheated on husband who recovered after a long time.)

So moral of the story...throw away everything that should mean something to you...including your own self worth..because just maybe...that weird way younger dude your whoring yourself to, may be a misunderstood genius? Just yikes

Maybe it's possible to be too creative.

Jesus, you ran this off a cliff big time. What a POS. The first part wasn't Hemingway, but this a huge mess. The tonal shift is enough the give you whiplash. You went from a basic, logical tale to "The Princess and the Tard." Oh look, a part 3! Pass.

Interesting in a cheater story the cheater ends up well.

Given the opportunity to reflect on all the change and pain her choices have produced, the most regret Sarah can manage is, "Sometimes there are no answers." Wow, she truly is a worthless, self-centered cunt. That response alone makes it clear she is not emotionally damaged by what she did to her husband and children, as the author later erroneously asserts. She is far too muvh of a narcissistic bitch to be troubled by such trivial things.

This was just off, it didn’t quite read as it should, the characters were very disjointed and it felt to me that you just made it up as you wrote it, no thinking it out before hand

Totally disjointed