All Comments on 'Clothes Make the Masochist'

Really hope there will be more! Great story!

Holy crap, that was so good on so many levels. Having done the “ try to conceive” thing you captured the experience of hot sex bring a chore. And the dialog rang so true. You brought these people to life in such an erotic tale. Damn, that was fun to read. Please write more.

This is wonderful! I'd love to read more from this couple

Thanks for the encouragement! Indeed, I have about 30k more words drafted, so there will be more.

As for the trying to conceive, well, write what you know, right?

“…a pas de deux as efficient and practiced as clearing the table.” Brilliant.

Looking at this in its entirety, there are some moments of real brilliance here.

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As an outsider to the genre, it was striking to me just how authentic a depiction of the fetish this was. But where the piece came alive was how you described his partner’s discovery of what he truly longed for.

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Additionally, I loved the line where you said - “But as the seconds ticked by, she couldn't help but feel a bit forgotten. As if she were not the unique show piece but merely the pedestal holding it up.” – That was such a crucial part of her discovery process, which you wrote in such a splendid manner. Of course, there would be doubt on her part, at least initially, as she contemplated her role versus that of her footwear. But while there was doubt, there was no attempt at shaming her partner, which felt right to me as I never felt like you were only writing for those who are already enthusiasts for this kind of material. You welcomed me on board and made me feel included, which I appreciated.

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For balance, I felt like there were some issues here. With regards to the opening, it wasn’t plausible that people with lower sex drives would have sex up to 10 times per week. I get that they were trying to conceive and that some of the sexual encounters saw them simply going through the motions, but still. Also, when you wrote - “Things would get better once they had their kids. Sex would be more spontaneous then, more passionate. Hotter.” – Most people have the opinion that sex lives suffer when couples have kids due to shifting priorities. This comes across as naïve and it’s pretty much the first thing I read here.

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I also had a problem with your choice of “pas de deux”. Is it stylish? Without doubt. But how many people that read this are going to know what it means? It came at a point in the document where you’d already went out on a limb with how often they had sex and the line about better sex coming after they had kids. My concern is did you give anyone who needed to look up what it meant a reason to come back? You definitely did, but all of the great stuff came after that point, not before. If you had access to your analytics, you’d see a healthy percentage of readers bouncing out at that point and not coming back.

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However, those are small complaints and you’ve done a terrific job with this. What I loved was how you built momentum throughout the piece, rather than squander it, and that process of her discovering his kink is a potential epic story that I’d be excited to read in the future. This is only 4,000 words, but I’d be prepared to join the couple on their journey and you’ve got the talent to do it justice.

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This is clearly a five-star piece of work and you should be very proud of it. With a little bit of refinement to the beginning, I’d go further and say that this is exceptional.

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82/100. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

An enjoyable story with some really classic sections. The routine sex whilst trying to conceive, the shame and panic as he admits his fetish, the power exchange as she realizes the depth of her control and the moment they acknowledge things will never be the same again.

All I hope is that she doesn’t abuse her power but I know she will, all women do.

5 stars. I'm glad I finally got around to reading this. I liked 'Asked and Answered' better, which I accidentally read out of order, but this one was very good as well.

The earlier comments say it all. Five star stuff, indeed. And the quality of those comments say it even more. You gotta be good to inspire readers to make such an effort to comment on your work. I'm hooked!