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"I'm...begging...now...am I?" His breath was getting ragged.
"Does that turn you on?"
"Yeah."
She stopped. He started to thrust, then stopped. Good boy.
Where had that come from?
As much to distract herself as to excite him, she asked, "Do you want to come?"
"Yes, please."
'Please.' Interesting. "Do you want me to make you beg for it?"
"If it pleases you."
"If it pleases me!"
He looked at her, uncertain. "Doesn't it?"
"It does," she reassured him. "Beg for it." Wow. Somehow, even when he so clearly wanted to hear those words, it felt transgressive to say them.
"Please, may I come?"
Her own voice was getting raspy. She stroked inch by inch down the length of his cock. "Keep going."
His eyes closed, a curiously distant quality to his voice, he said, "Yes, please, may I come? Please let me come. I'm so close. Please please please."
A ridiculous idea occurred to her. But maybe worth asking, considering the surprises she'd heard already today? "What do you want me to say?"
"Count me down from ten."
"Count you down?"
"Tell me I have to come when you say, no earlier and no later."
"Wait for it. Ten. Nine. Eight."
He was actually recoiling to reduce the motion of her hand on his cock.
An ugly part of her reared its head. "You'd better not come early on me or I will be very cross."
"Stop, I can't do it."
She froze. Had she over-stepped?
He was panting as if he'd run a mile, shaking, his eyes squeezed shut. He said, "I just need a minute, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay."
"Okay," he sighed. "You can go on now."
What? Tentatively, she asked, "I can go on?"
"I mean, please, ma'am, please go on. Please keep stroking me. I just needed a minute so I wouldn't come too early but I'm ready now please let me come I won't be early again I promise." The words seemed to flow out of some distant part of him.
She didn't know she could oscillate between terror and lust like this. It was thrilling. With a stern self-assurance she certainly did not feel, she said, "That's better. Seven. Six. Open your eyes."
He did. His eyes were crazed, bottomless pools of mindless lust. He had never looked at her so before. Nobody ever had.
She stared deep into his eyes as she counted down the last strokes, drinking it in. "Five. Four."
Inspiration came to her. Slowing her count without slowing her hand, she said, "Three...Two..."
Beyond words, he pushed at her hand, straining to hold it back. She clamped her fist around his cock and let him drag it out from between her fingers, eking out one last stroke. It was enough.
"Oh god I'm sorry I'm so sorry." He bucked under her, thrashing wildly. She planted her mouth on his and rode the waves of his orgasm to a panting halt.
At last he said, "Oh my god."
She propped herself up on one elbow. "That good, huh?"
"Can I do anything for...?" He reached between her legs.
She pushed his hand away. "Tomorrow."
He grinned stupidly. "Yeah?"
"In these fantasies of yours, where I 'make' you lick my shoes, do I 'make' you lick anything else?"
He had the good grace to look ashamed. "Well, no."
She patted his cheek. "That's cute."
- COMMENTS
dyetied3 months agoThe earlier comments say it all. Five star stuff, indeed. And the quality of those comments say it even more. You gotta be good to inspire readers to make such an effort to comment on your work. I'm hooked!
MediocreAuthor4 months ago5 stars. I'm glad I finally got around to reading this. I liked 'Asked and Answered' better, which I accidentally read out of order, but this one was very good as well.
Anonymous9 months agoAn enjoyable story with some really classic sections. The routine sex whilst trying to conceive, the shame and panic as he admits his fetish, the power exchange as she realizes the depth of her control and the moment they acknowledge things will never be the same again.
All I hope is that she doesn’t abuse her power but I know she will, all women do.
Stacnash9 months agoLooking at this in its entirety, there are some moments of real brilliance here.
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As an outsider to the genre, it was striking to me just how authentic a depiction of the fetish this was. But where the piece came alive was how you described his partner’s discovery of what he truly longed for.
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Additionally, I loved the line where you said - “But as the seconds ticked by, she couldn't help but feel a bit forgotten. As if she were not the unique show piece but merely the pedestal holding it up.” – That was such a crucial part of her discovery process, which you wrote in such a splendid manner. Of course, there would be doubt on her part, at least initially, as she contemplated her role versus that of her footwear. But while there was doubt, there was no attempt at shaming her partner, which felt right to me as I never felt like you were only writing for those who are already enthusiasts for this kind of material. You welcomed me on board and made me feel included, which I appreciated.
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For balance, I felt like there were some issues here. With regards to the opening, it wasn’t plausible that people with lower sex drives would have sex up to 10 times per week. I get that they were trying to conceive and that some of the sexual encounters saw them simply going through the motions, but still. Also, when you wrote - “Things would get better once they had their kids. Sex would be more spontaneous then, more passionate. Hotter.” – Most people have the opinion that sex lives suffer when couples have kids due to shifting priorities. This comes across as naïve and it’s pretty much the first thing I read here.
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I also had a problem with your choice of “pas de deux”. Is it stylish? Without doubt. But how many people that read this are going to know what it means? It came at a point in the document where you’d already went out on a limb with how often they had sex and the line about better sex coming after they had kids. My concern is did you give anyone who needed to look up what it meant a reason to come back? You definitely did, but all of the great stuff came after that point, not before. If you had access to your analytics, you’d see a healthy percentage of readers bouncing out at that point and not coming back.
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However, those are small complaints and you’ve done a terrific job with this. What I loved was how you built momentum throughout the piece, rather than squander it, and that process of her discovering his kink is a potential epic story that I’d be excited to read in the future. This is only 4,000 words, but I’d be prepared to join the couple on their journey and you’ve got the talent to do it justice.
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This is clearly a five-star piece of work and you should be very proud of it. With a little bit of refinement to the beginning, I’d go further and say that this is exceptional.
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82/100. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Victoria14xs9 months ago“…a pas de deux as efficient and practiced as clearing the table.” Brilliant.
