All Comments on 'Coach's Bitch Pt. 01'

by rafa614

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16 Comments

Xmale06 over 5 years ago

Just the Coach's?

Great story you've got there man! I can't wait to read the following chapters...

Anonymousover 5 years ago

Good start

If this is your first try, good start. Good description of the action. And, you aren’t in any dire need of an editor. Now, that being said, i’m Not the best on humiliation, ownership, manipulation, or mind control if the humilatee doesn’t get some kind of pleasure out of it. I just don’t like mean. Ty is someone’s precious son. He has an awesome bestie, he sounds wholesome and basically good. Now, I don’t think any young man should miss out on the pleasures of sex from a homosexual event if no more than just experimentation. Many straight men, if they would, can actually say they have had an experience of the “gay” variety, and say it felt good. Would they do it again? Depends on how good the pleasure, and how homophobic their roots are. I look forward to how this develops, hoping that at some point Ty can find a way to derive some kind of pleasure out of submissiveness, or maybe, with the help of his bestie, make the coach the submissive with a little blackmail of their own. The coach is a predator. That’s ok in the jungle. No one should be humiliated into sexual acts unless that is the pleasure they seek, and there is some kind of prize at the finish line for all parties involved. Thank you. Let’s see what you’ve got.

Rwa4768 over 5 years ago

Good story

This story has good potential for several more chapters.

Anonymousover 5 years ago

No way

What a nasty person the coach is report him and have him imprisoned for sexual abuse. The worst sort of scum

Anonymousover 5 years ago

Good

Good for a first...Good build up....but there is so much illegal and wrong about this...coach belongs in jail..illegal photos, rape and more....he's far and old..why not take his phone...wish it was the friend who dominated him like he started...love dominant and humiliation stories..when felonies aren't committed..and really a 9" dick on a fat old man? So he would have like an 11" if he lost weight. Meh...

Anonymousover 5 years ago

Nasty Bastard

He would've washed that filthy cock before I sucked anything. Plus, you could've turned him in and told them he was sexually harassing you. He took pics of a minor without consent no matter what the circumstances were.

Anonymousover 5 years ago

That was really good

Just wanted to say that was a really hot story and you should continue it!

Wheelbearotx over 5 years ago

Great Start

If this was your first story, it was really good.

1. Ignore these folks whining about it being illegal and taking the coach’s phone from him etc. This is a story not real life. It is a fantasy about how one would end up submitting to something like this. It is also easy to say what you would do in a situation like this, until you are actually in it. A senior in high school is not necessarily a minor. He could be 18. If the readers’ focus is on what is illegal or immoral about this, then they should not be reading it in the first place.

2. I liked the story. It was a great build up. Great interaction between the friends. I wonder why the friend did not stick around after practice to verify the plug was still there before giving him the $50. There are a lot of opportunities for subsequent chapters. What will happen with the coach? Will the friend take things further? Will the other players get in on the action?

3. I like just a little more descriptive detail, but you got the overall ideas across for the reader to imagine the scenario. I also think a teaser at the end like the the coach or another player stepping into the shower would have been good.

4. Technically, watch your tense. You jump between present and past tense on occasion. Good spelling and grammar otherwise!!!