Cock-Sucker: A Cocksucker's Journal

Let me tell you a secret, the biggest cock I ever sucked was Craig, an older white guy. I was down on my luck, working tables in a bar for tips, supplementing my take-home pay by occasionally giving clients discrete blowjobs in the washroom cubicle.

I've been with a couple of black guys, but despite all those stories and the mythology about black cock, in my experience they've been no bigger or more impressive than some white guys that I've been with. Black cock is not necessarily bigger. I've known white guys with big cocks and black guys with small cocks. Although the colour-contrast is always very pleasing when a black cock enters a white mouth, ass or pussy. Or a white cock enters a black mouth, ass or pussy. I love people coming together and sharing mutual pleasures regardless of race or colour. We should all love and be loved. End of sermon...

Anyway, this older white guy with big sad far-away eyes makes it obvious from the start that he's interested. And I've got no particular place to go. Normally I don't go back to strange guy's apartments. My friend Jacques who works the same tables on a similar basis, a young Gay guy around my own age, tells me to beware, a quick suck-off in the men's room is one thing, but be careful, he might have other guy's lying in wait to gangbang me?

But he seems easy-going with that avuncular charm that always works for me, and he's offering me a ten-note. I'm reasonably fit and able to take care of myself in case the situation turns bad. You can never be sure. Nevertheless, I go back to his apartment. And when he gets naked it's breath-taking. I've never seen a cock so huge. He acts almost apologetic, giving me the chance of getting out now, if I want. He says as how no woman has ever been capable of taking him fully, although his former wife tried.

I know, you're going to ask exactly how big it was. Men are fascinated by such details. But I never ask him, and I certainly never get to measure it. Just that it was humungous! His cock is a translucent blue-veined tower of beauty. The quintessence of cock, the Taj Mahal of cock, the Empire State Building of cock, the Mona Lisa of cock. Every once in a while, perhaps only once in your life, you'll be fortunate enough to happen upon a penis of such perfectly proportioned size and beauty that the only possible response is to fall on your knees and worship its immaculate perfection. I'm not a boy naturally given to prayer, but here and now I say a little prayer of thanks to all the gods of gay sex that I've been so blessed.

He lies on his back on the bed as I undress, I'm already fiercely erect, and fascinated by him. When he smiles, looking down at my breathless open-mouthed ecstasy in expectation, it's like an embrace. I'm nothing more than a hollow ache waiting to be filled, aware of nothing but the racing of my heart. My ears get warm, my lips begin to twitch in anticipation, in thrall to sensations that words can never express.

I sit on the edge of the bed and take it in my hand, fingering it with awe, drawing the angry foreskin back off the shiny purple glans, tracing the raised ridges of blood-vessels along its length, the sperm-duct running beneath. Then I dip my head and try to take that huge plummy cockhead in my mouth. It takes a number of attempts before I'm able to draw it in between my lips. The soft blue blood-veins pulse up against my parting lips, thick and full-to-bursting with blood. My mouth makes a burbling-drool sound around the soft gag that's filling me to capacity and seems to grow larger and larger. It feels alive, this hard softness filling me, pushing against the roof of my mouth, pressing down on my tongue, forcing its insistent way into my throat, it twitches, animal and alive, urgent and vital. He grunts approvingly and ruffles my hair in an encouraging way, applying only the slightest pressure.

But I manage to slither more of it into my mouth and begin sucking gently, tasting the flow of pre-cum as his hairy gut rises and falls in response. For a moment I break off and squat there beside him, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, smiling at him. He laughs. Then I re-apply myself and manage to take even more, sucking at it more fiercely. Again I break off. I shift my attention to his balls, taking each one into my mouth at a time and using my tongue. After a while I eventually try to trap his cock into my mouth again, but he pulls free. He gets up and pours a drink for us both from his chiller. Sipping the alcohol helps blur things pleasantly, the warmth of the liquor explodes in my gut and radiates out pleasurably. I'm sitting naked and erect, but curiously unselfconscious. As though I'm mesmerised by him, under his spell.

He lies back on the bed, indicating for me to begin again. This time, when I return to mouthing his cock I'm playing with my own cock at the same time, jacking myself. He reaches out and takes over, his rough calloused fingers tight around my smaller but hyper-sensitive shaft, jerking me so hard that my balls bounce as I suck him. He squeezes my cock, and the combined eroticism makes me cum uncontrollably, spurting spunk all over his fingers as he chortles, the sensations roar through my body and the cock in my mouth slips throat-deep, lodging there, choking me. I've never been able to deep-throat. Although I've tried. I come pretty close now as the massive shaft throbs deeper, relentlessly finding its own single-minded way down my bulging throat, I'm drunk on it. My brain is mulch, I'm all swimmy and watery, it's as though the sun rises and sets, rises and sets as I suck-suck-suck him.

He's fucking my throat so hard my own balls jiggle and tremble, I fear my chest and my fluttering hummingbird heart will implode. Until he begins to cum in massive pulses that lift my head as though I'm a doll attached to him, messy drooling and slurping huge mouthfuls of spunk, like a fist tightening in my throat, sperm erupts like an expensive firework, with its flooding syrupy heaviness. I hold his beautiful cock in the saliva-wet clasp of my mouth as its pulses become less violent. It quietens.

He's so embarrassingly grateful afterwards because he says that no-one else had ever been able to take him so deeply into their mouth as I had. Naturally I respond that it was entirely my pleasure to serve such a magnificent cock, and that I was more than happy to suck him off whenever he wants... even though my jaw is just a little sore... I was still naked, my cock still messy with ejaculate. He carefully places a banknote on the head of my cock where it sticks on the slippery goo, much to our shared amusement.

When I get back to the tables and tell Jacque all the details I swear he's envious. He says that he's had a slow day, just a couple of regulars. They come into the bar and buy a drink, then the man sits nursing the drink in his fist as he watches the TV news or the trailers for the latest superhero movie. At one point he'll indicate to Jacque and they'll both go to the washroom cubicle for a blowjob. Then, back in the bar, he'll leisurely finish his drink, settle the bill with a generous tip to cover 'personal services', and he goes on home to his wife.

There are lots of complacent wives who are too preoccupied with going to the hairdressers, choosing new designer handbags or colour-coordinating the front-room curtains to bother with the dirty business of sex, who should be grateful to us cocksuckers who their husbands come to in order to get the satisfaction and sexual release that they need, that they deserve, that they are entitled to. Every time we crouch down to suck-off those married cocks we are helping that marriage to survive. Those complacent wives should thank us for every big mouthful of freshly-sucked married cum we swallow, because it means that they are freed of that obligation.

Meanwhile, I think Jacque is jealous of my encounter. 'Will you see him again?' he asks, as though hoping I'll say 'no' so he can step in.

In fact I return several times, drawn inexorably by the lure of his cock. Always to his apartment, always at dusk when the setting sun shines low through the blinds melting it all into soft shades of sepia. It turns out his name is Craig, he's in his mid-sixties, some four decades older than Jacque and I. But eroticism doesn't have a sell-by date. Sixty-five is not a speed limit, and we do seem to enjoy a degree of rapport. Sometimes, after we've had sex, he talks in gentle fondness about his wife who succumbed to cancer and died. About the bookstore he used to run, but after her death he kinda lost motivation, sold up and retired. He's not wealthy on the proceeds, but he gets by. Just that he misses the closeness and companionable intimacy of sex.

I tell him my story. That as a young Gay man, finally accepting and rejoicing in the recognition of my true nature, I was eager to experience all the gifts that male sex could give. The first time a man ejaculates in your mouth changes you forever, you have his sperms absorbing into the roof of your mouth, dissolving in your saliva, swimming in your gut, and you can't wait for it to happen again, it becomes an addiction, an obsession, you become erect just thinking about that moment, remembering that throbbing pulsing sensation happening at the back of your throat, you're replaying the memory over and over in your head until your need can no longer be denied and you deliberately go out hunting for another big cock to suck... waiting for the opportunity, hoping against hope he will allow you to suck him off... I sucked a lot of cock. I've been around probably more than a good boy should. I was less happy with taking anal, but once I'd been fucked regularly by an older friend it becomes addictive, and once he moved away I had such a burning craving for cock in my ass that it was truly overwhelming.

For six months I flat-shared with Jacque, and while we both had older 'friends' that we were serving we were so highly sexed that we regularly sixty-nine each other into blissful orgasm. We genitally shave each other. It was one of my older male friends who first encouraged me to cross-dress, and although I was initially shy and self-conscious, once I was dressed in flimsy lingerie it was an undeniable turn-on. Some men enjoy having a feminised sissy in flimsy lingerie to bum-fuck.

The fact is that most women consider wearing erotic lingerie to be a kind of betrayal of feminism, and that catering to male fantasies in such a way is demeaning. I absolutely respect that attitude. But that also means that men can create their own sex-fantasia for each other by enjoying wearing all those tiny lacy diaphanous wisps of lingerie when we suck cocks, being submissive in role-play games of dominance and servitude. And if real women seldom act that way, and if that's what turns the gentleman on, where's the harm in being the provider or facilitator? It only adds to the happiness of the world. It was the same older friend who first 'teamed' me while I was wearing my erotic Anne Summers flimsies, I suck his cock while his friend fucks my bottom, then they turn me around and switch holes. I felt so deliciously dirty. There was never rape, although we would play-act aggressive BS&M roles. There was never coercion, I was always willing and ravenous for new experiences.

I love cock... and am so very grateful to have enjoyed so much... I tell Craig I believe that it's every man's basic human right to have his cock sucked, it is one of the great joys of life, so why deny yourself? And if your wife or female partner won't suck you off (and they are perfectly entitled to refuse), or if you're suffering bereavement, it's entirely justifiable to find a receptive friend who will take pleasure in sucking you off.

It also happens to be every man's basic human right to suck a cock if and when the mood takes him. It is one of the great joys of life, so why deny yourself? We should all do it a whole lot more. I've sucked a lot of cocks, and never regretted a single one. I intend to suck a whole lot more. It's the cock-sucker's way. End of sermon... He laughs indulgently. Then he says out of the blue, almost bashfully, that he wants to fuck me too, and the situation really goes into overdrive... By then it was no longer a financial transaction. The sex is so good I'd have gone to him for nothing. Although every now and then he stuffs a slim handful of banknotes down the front of my underpants to show his appreciation, and I grin a big coy grin of thanks.

I mean, in no way could I pretend to be an anal-virgin. But the prospect of taking a cock as huge as his up my bum is intimidating. Whenever I've done anal in the past, I've always preferred for my partner to fuck me doggie, which satisfies my needs very well. Being fucked doggy is preferable, I enjoy the way it makes my own erection bounce and flip in rhythm with each and every anal thrust. I'm sorry if the idea offends some people but I'm always achingly hard and powerfully erect when I'm enjoying sucking cock or when I'm being bum-fucked. Some things simply cannot be denied. Some pleasures cannot be subdued. A spontaneous erection is the natural and healthy response to erotic pleasure, and being mouth-fucked or bum-fucked in a joy. So I'm more than happy with the anonymity of being fucked doggy. But on that particular day, while my friend with the big sad far-away eyes is lying on his back on the bed naked and I've been contentedly sucking his big erection for some considerable time, he says that he wants me to ride him -- cowgirl style.

As I unmouth his slippery-wet cock and look up at him he's beckoning in a leering way, his eyes steady and penetrating. Yet the peachy curve and the puckered dimple of my bottom make a smiling invitation. I feel a lick of fear in my gut, but our bodies just seem to lunge at each other in uncontrollable rapture. I feel a little self-conscious as I force myself to straddle him, he can clearly see my own erection bobbing and quivering with anticipation, as I reach down to guide him into me, at first taking just the fat bulb of his cock-head into my tight little rectum, and pausing as the warm glowing sensation flows through me. There should always be the slight frisson of discomfort as a hard cock forces its way through and into the tight puckered little orifice of your anal sphincter... not exactly pain, but that exquisite breath-catching moment of penetration that tells you without doubt that you're truly being fucked. Yet with him it's like a sex-flower that opens up with a rosy-golden glow inside me. I determinedly slide another inch of him into me.

He can see the expression on my face as I inhale sharply, and the way that my stomach flexes as I breathe more rapidly. It feels incredible. With one more determined movement I push myself down onto him so that his full impressive cock-length slithers all the way up inside me... it was too much, it tips me over the edge, and I orgasm spontaneously, one big spurt of milky-white spunk spatters up over my friend's stomach, then a second pulse, and a more dribbly drooling third pulse, the way that each spasm causes my rectum to convulse and tighten around his own embedded cock makes my older friend groan in pleasure.

My head is bowed, my hands pressed down onto his chest as the rage of sensations roars through us both, then I start to fuck myself slowly in long slow strokes up and down on him as my own wet dribbling cock sways and bounces. It doesn't take much more of that treatment before he grunts deep in his throat, I press down, taking him all, as I can feel him throbbing and flexing and filling me with his cum, my head thrown back now with a greedy hungry pleasure for him. After some considerable time, when our breathing has steadied, I very carefully dismount... and contentedly resume sucking his cock...

I make a mental note, this is one more tale to tell Jacque. One more reason for him to envy me.

Because, let me tell you a secret, Craig had the biggest cock I ever sucked...

--- 0 ---

MARK & LUKE

It was the long hot summer of 1985, I'd just turned eighteen. I was a skinny awkward academic student, so I was flattered when a big athletic boy a year older than me begins paying me close attention. His name is Mark, he seems kind and considerate with untidy blonde curls flapping down in his eyes, and I guess I nurse something of a boy-crush for him, so when he invites me round to his house to 'listen to some music' I was delighted.

As he drives me through town in his beat-up Japanese car I'm tongue-tied with anticipation. He doesn't seem to notice. He does all the talking, I just nod and agree, unable to believe my good fortune. His parents have a spread down by the river-bridge. He parks up and I meekly follow him inside. Once there he introduces me to his brother, Luke -- he might even have been his twin, he wears a faded Rock-band T-shirt and stonewashed jeans. In the family front-room they play some heavy new albums and Mark produces some joints which he lights up and passes around. Soon the conversation takes on a more flirtatiously risqué nature, and whatever reticence I may once have felt dissolves in the intoxicating glow of inhaled smoke.

Mark begins to jokingly complain his pants are too tight. He unfastens his belt and unzips, revealing his big hypnotic semi-hard cock, Luke is laughing and I make a pretence of being shocked, but -- greatly daring, I couldn't resist dipping my head in low to kiss the softness of its fat flared cockhead, which seems to almost naturally slip between my lips and I give it a long delicious suck which makes him gasp. I feel the pulse of blood beneath the skin, the exciting crawling rippling warmth of him. Within moments of my sucking him the mood has shifted.

Both brothers lift me to my feet, and lead me upstairs to Mark's bedroom, quite firmly. I was not about to resist, but their attitude allows me no chance for refusal. In Mark's bedroom there are team-pennants pinned to the wall and shiny sporting trophies on a shelf. As a sportsman he was good. He was very good. We undress, me a little self-conscious of revealing my arousal. Both brothers have flawlessly smooth skin and beautifully healthy bodies with big cleanly-circumcised cocks standing firm from a fringe of dark pubic hair and fat round balls. Like the song, 'he had the kind of body that would shame Adonis, and a face that would make any man proud' -- only in duplicate. I feel a little intimidated, but can't help trembling with excitement too.

They lay me on my back on the bed with my head raised on a couple of pillows, then they crouch one cock on either side of my head. I feel beautifully trapped. The total centre of their attentions. Their smooth clean bodies overwhelm me in vibrant masculine energies. I look up at them, smiling helplessly, as Mark simply eases his cock back into my mouth, more forcefully this time. I suck energetically. After a few moments he slides out from between my lips and Luke pushes his cock in to replace it. I get the distinct impression they've done this kind of teamwork before, maybe with a girl? But the fact that they are alternating, with a respite as I switch from sucking one to sucking the other cock, allows them to delay ejaculation for some considerable time... although I can't help myself, squirming nude on the sensuously cool coverlet with pleasure, I find myself shooting off a spontaneous hands-free arc of spunk in long white jerking strands up my stomach, which they find most amusing.

But whenever the pleasure is mutual and consensual, it can never be degrading. Games and role-playing are nice. I'm more than content to be submissive, and I simply adore wallowing in the role of being their fuck-toy, I feel so deliciously indulged. If it makes the friends I happen to be with feel more assertive, if it adds to their power-fantasy to call me a 'cocksucking slut' then that's part of acting it out too.