Cocoa Collins Ch. 01-05

“Omigod.”

“What.”

“A babe who drinks beer.”

“Yeah, well mainly I have one only at barbecues. As I said, we have only one type.”

“Just pour.”

“Hmm, at least you sound friendly and that indicates we may be compatible tonight.”

“We shall be.”

The travelled to the venue by cab.

During the journey, Harvey asked, “May I ask, do you do it on first dates?”

“That depends how lucky the guy is.”

He grinned and brushed her lips delicately with his and said, “Oh, I’m hoping the dice rolls my way tonight.”

* * *

The awards were confined to journalistic excellence and where judged by outside consultants to avoid charges of favouritism.

Cocoa led Harvey to the executive editor’s table and conversations all around them halted and the most attractive duo caught all attention.

Bert jumped up and greeted Cocoa with a kiss to the cheek and then Cocoa and his wife Trish hugged like friends. Nearly almost everyone on the newspaper who was somebody smiled at the warmth of that display of affection.

The university graduate from Melbourne, with no front-line experience in journalism, had almost over-night become a media personality of note.

“How the hell has that Cocoa-nobody managed to worm herself on to the top table when she’s only been here a few weeks,” said the business editor, Guy White.

“Obviously, you haven’t read the in-depth content of Hey, Babe!,” Maree his wife said. “I think it’s the most out-standing section of the Jupiter in terms of relevancy, good journalism, and being confrontational.”

“Yes, well you would say something like that since you lecture on advanced journalism.”

Such comment would appear at odds with the known fact that Hey Babe’s frontline editor Cocoa was not a formally trained journalist. What wasn’t known was that from day one of beginning her role, Cocoa had voluntarily undergone hours of intense one-on-one tuition with several of the newspapers senior editors and journalists to assist in her journalistic ability and practical newspaper competency.

In a magazine profile published about her rapid rise to an almost cult status, Cocoa described her efforts to improve her knowledge of newspaper journalism as ‘getting to grips with the fundamentals’ and oh boy did she feel as if she were emerging from being in the shadows. No longer did she require a ghost-writer to polish her writing.

Photographers swarmed around the Jupiter table and after Cocoa and Harvey were photographed sitting with the Squires, Cocoa with or without Harvey was photographed with the owner and chairman of the newspaper’s board of directors, Crystal Langley and board director Catherine Stewart and then Cocoa was taken to the centre of the empty dance floor where a bank of photographers took at least 100 shots plus film clips of her.

“Why is that Cocoa girl receiving so much attention,” Crystal asked.

Catherine replied enviously, “It’s the combination of a magnificent body in that magnificent dress and the mind is not too bad, either.”

“Well, if she’s made such a big impact in such a short time, we should bring her into consideration for the so-called Top Skirt Revamp.”

Catherine said uncomfortably, “But the intention is to launch a worldwide search for the right figurehead editor.”

“Yes, darling. But we looked further afield than Australia for the right figurehead to launch our new insert for young female readers of our newspaper, and we yet chose the girl Cocoa.”

“True, and totally without newspaper experience.”

“So, what happened? Total success, I believe. Look, I get bored unless I back my hunches. We don’t want some established tosser that’s exhausted her potential. With this chosen one, we have a youngster not yet in full flight. Allow free and frank discussion in-committee by all means, but don’t dwell on leadership. If you have to, tell them I have made my choice and will announce it in due course.”


Dinner was served and while it continued to be delivered to tables, dancing commenced. A number of guys descended on Cocoa but she fended them off and took to the floor with Harvey. They made a fine-looking couple on the floor but, sadly for Cocoa, she’d already found Harvey’s conversational capacity was too limited for her and she was already wondering how to dump him gently.

Later, dancing halted and Bert went to the rostrum and welcomed everyone on behalf of Mrs Langley.

“This annual event is held to mark out newspaper’s achievements,” the executive editor said.

“At the top of the pile this year was the tremendously successful Hey, Babe! 5-day insert which coincided with an astonishing find as an editorial recruit in Cocoa Collins, a university graduate with no formal training in journalism, who obviously carries a wicked load of talents.”

“We found her, and she found us to produce a remarkable fusion. For that we have to thank Mrs Langley, who has a remarkable talent for picking winners.”

(Applause)

“Many other people have contributed to the success of Hey, Babe! for which we are grateful. We took many risks, too many for my comfort but with the roll underway, I let it roll. As a result, in the first four months of its operation, Hey, Babe! has contributed substantially to lifting our weekday subscriptions by 2.17% over that 4-month period and for the past four months our daily weekday sales have lifted an average of 3.62%.”

“With newspaper circulation figures worldwide generally eroding, that performance is rather remarkable.”

“Would Hey, Babe! editor Cocoa Collins come forward and receive the Jupiter Publishing’s Top Department Performer Plaque for the year, ending last month.”

Cocoa received the award and a handshake from Mrs Langley and turning to face the crowd raised a fist high into the air in triumph, receiving huge applause.

Other awards followed and the final award was the executive editor’s award for Top Excellence in Editorial Leadership.

Faking wiping perspiration from his forehead, Bert Squires said, “I had nothing to do with this award except to appoint 10 editors randomly to make the judgement. They all had their opinions that were tossed into the pool for consideration, and the majority decided that this heavy-weight award should go to probably the contender who weighs the lightest of the contenders. Cocoa Collins, please come forward.

She skipped forward shaking her head.

Bert said, “Believe it Cocoa, this is what nine out of 10 of your peers decided. Their decision reads: ‘Our majority vote for this award goes to Cocoa Collins for her outstanding leadership in the launching of the new weekday insert Hey, Babe! She inspired her team of eight journalists to focus, create and excel and as a result Hey, Babe! hit the newsstands and home and office deliveries at a gallop and the pace if anything has increased. motoring editor Emma Banks who was elected committee chairman wrote in the report I received, “It’s almost impossible to believe that a young untried woman could come from Melbourne to perform outstandingly to lead such an advance in modern day newspaper journalism to hit young Sydney females between the eyes with so much clarity, relevance and outright panache.”

(Applause)

Bert invited Cocoa to say a few words.

“A very few,” she said, walking to the microphone.

“I trembled, I steadied and provided ideas and direction. My team did the rest. Simple, eh? Thanks everyone.”

(Huge applause)

As Cocoa walked back to her seat, people touching her and offering congratulations. Bert said, “While the band is setting up again, I’d like to say that our presses will start running the country edition of our tomorrow’s newspaper in about an hour. It contains another Cocoa story, this one co-authored with Sheryl Hope.”

“My blue pencil hovered over the print-out that had been referred to me. Do I sign it off or do I reject it? Then I thought, what was really wrong with it? Ah yes, it was contentious. Actually, in my read I’d thought it was beautifully crafted.”

“Contentious, really is that all?”

“I emailed features senior editor Stan Bliss and told him, ‘Make ‘Moving in’ the lead for Tuesday’s Hey, Babe, Stan. It’s contentious but very okay as is and could win a media award in some category.”

“Oh yes everyone, it’s about girlfriends moving in with their male or female lover. The moralists will have a field day over this one, perhaps trigging a debate over overall morality in Australia.

“Again, it’s only Cocoa and her team being relevant. The band’s ready and the bars have re-opened, so let’s celebrate our relevance.”

As the evening more on, Cocoa sighed to herself more and more, wondering how to let Harvey down and made sure he became concerned by the number of Champagne cocktails she was consuming.

Toward 2.00 am she when to the ladies and returned, smelling of vomit. Cocoa had used a finger down her throat to induce it.

Harvey rushed Cocoa home and assisted Kelly to put her to bed in the spare room.

Cocoa smiled when she heard Kelly invite Harvey to stay for coffee and wasn’t at all surprised when she awoke later and heard the headboard in the adjoining bedroom rattling and then caught the muffled sound of Kelly enjoying an enormous release.

Next morning, Kelly didn’t mention having sex with Harvey and Cocoa didn’t ask.

After sleeping for much of the day, she thanked Kelly for looking after her early that morning and said she didn’t intend to date Harvey again.

“Why not?”

“I don’t believe he’s my type, whatever type that is.”

“Um, do you mind if I call him and invite him to coffee.”

“Not at all, and if you wish to invited back here call me and I’ll disappear for two or three hours.”

“Won’t he be expecting to fuck you?”

“I shouldn’t think so. He now knows I turn to jelly when I drink too much.”

“That’s great and um, we could become serious.”

“That’s okay Kelly and actually I think it’s time I bought an apartment, to invest some of this money that’s amounting, and even get my own type of guy.”

“You mean one without a pole like Harvey?”

“I… I… um… err, yes.”

“Good for you girl, go for it.”



Two months after the publication of ‘Moving In’ and followed by ‘The Pregnancy Decision’, both of which raised controversy without threats of public tarring and feathering, Cocoa was invited to a Saturday morning final planning session of something called ‘Top Skirt Revamp’.

“What the fuck,” she muttered, and then saw replies were to go to Bert’s PA’s and shrugged, thinking something weird was in the air.

On Thursday, Bert Squires called Cocoa to his office.

“Hi, sit. This is about Saturday’s revamp conference. How would you like to be promoted to women’s editor?”

Wow, that was from a man in a hurry.

“Well?”

“If I were given a pretty free hand, I guess I could give it a pretty good revamp.”

“You guess?”

“Christ Bert, you’ve just dropped the proposal on to me.”

“Well you can blame Madam Langley for that. She’s nominated you, if one can call it that.”

“Wow.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“Yes, for now.”

“Are you interested?”

“More than interested.”

“Right, consider yourself the new editor-elect.”

She rolled her eyes and Bert the brute laughed.

“Come on Cocoa, you have a backbone of titanium. Enjoy the moment. Let’s have a stiff drink. Say nothing about this till the official announcement. The shit will hit the roof over this appointment.”

* * *

Cocoa attended the meeting at 9.30 on Saturday and immediately saw that attendance was confined to the newspaper’s senior hierarchy and her.

The chairman was women’s pages editor Mrs Jean Sutcliffe, who would retire at the end of the following month to become a senior advisor in the NSW Government unit responsible for improving the quality of lives for all women in New South Wales.

Jean welcomed everyone and said, “This morning’s meeting is our final plenary session. I welcome a new invitee, Cocoa. She’s here because Mrs Langley wants her as the new editor.”

She stopped talking, and began sipping water, eyeing the fifteen people in front of her, most of who were involved in heavy whispered discussion.

“Resuming, I must say I was, um, a little astounded too but for what it’s worth, I offer no opposition. In fact, but enough from me. Are there any other nominations or comments?”

A vigorous debate raged. Cocoa was honestly astonished that many speakers exercising their 1-minute right to speak supported her so-called nomination. She thought it might have been much closer to 50-50.

“Right, that’s enough. What Mrs Langley wants, Mrs Langley gets but nevertheless I move that this meeting approves of Cocoa Collins being declared the incoming Women’s Pages editor.”

“All those in favour?”

Eleven were in favour.

“Against?”

None votes were cast.

“Well that’s heartening. Cocoa didn’t vote, and the four missing votes will be considered abstentions.”

“Cocoa, I know you were only informed before the meeting began that Mrs Langley wants you as the person to succeed me as editor. I now will say I have the utmost confidence that you will succeed in the role and I suspect you will make reforms. You have my heartiest congratulations as you have already proven yourself within our midst.”

Everyone applauded.

“Do you have a few words to say, Cocoa.”

“Yes, please tell Mrs Langley I thank her for her confidence in me and I won’t let her down. I wish to know wills the department continue to be called Women’s Pages?”

“No Cocoa. We have two choices left from several contenders: ‘Today’s Women’, and with almost as many votes is ‘Progressive Women’.”

“Omigod, please inform Mrs Langley that my acceptance of the editorship is conditional on the section being simply called ‘She’.”

“You’re joking, Cocoa.”

“No Mrs Sutcliffe. The title ‘She’ accounts for females of all ages. It couldn’t be more specific.”

“Cocoa, listen to me. I’ve been women’s editor of the Jupiter from the day it launched, 14 years ago. And…”

“Will due respect, Mrs Sutcliffe, the ‘She’ insert will be about now, not yesteryear.”

“Omigod, you want the women’s pages downgraded to an insert.”

“Yes, a 6-day insert upgrade. Women’s interests are currently well-catered for in the Sunday Jupiter.”

There was silence.

Cocoa spoke again aggressively.

“It appears I’ve won the day.”

“Yeah, but look who you backer is,” said the finance editor sourly.

“One’s powerbase is one’s strength is it not, Mr Everest.

“Conceded, you’re one hell of a smart cookie,” he laughed. “I vote to approve a name change to ‘She’.”

Jean said, “Any support for that. A show of hands please.”

“All 16 including Cocoa’s are raised, and mine,” she smiled. “Let’s stop for early lunch. I feel ravenous after being caught up in this huge and fundamental change.”

During the 30-minute break, Jean and Bert took Cocoa aside.

“Congratulations,” Bert said, kissing her on the cheek.

“Yes, and I already see you as a winner because you have obvious vision, courage and style,” Jean said. “Please call me Jean. When can you start working beside me? Although I don’t leave until the end of next month, I shall be taking some of my accumulated leave from the 7th of next month, returning on the 31st?”

“I need 10 days to blood in my replacement, who, subject to your endorsement Bert, should be Sheryl Hope.

“But she’s mousy,” Bert protested.

“Don’t you believe it. She just emerging from her shell. She was reared by somewhat repressive parents and success in being co-author of the already widely acclaimed ‘Moving In’ feature story has pushed her into a higher gear. She’s a little like me, with unlimited imagination, can see probable outcomes, is pleasant to people and writes well and shows some leadership qualities. She’s another initially unlikely person to believe in Bert, trust me.”

“Oh hell, all right. We’ll advertise for a strong deputy.”

“You already have her. Your women’s affairs reporter in General News. I bet she’ll jump at the chance providing it comes with a promotion that deputy provides.”

“Christ, why don’t you take over the executive editorship from me now?”

Cocoa giggled and said, “Perhaps Mrs Langley may think I’m ready for that in a couple of years or so.”

They laughed, with Jean and Bert exchanging a deep glance.


Ends