Coffee and Claire Pt. 01

This story is very close to my heart as it has a lot of true elements from my own life. The wonderful Claire is modeled after my lovely wife and I wrote this story as a tribute to her after she passed away last year due to covid. She loved reading romance on literotica, something I teased her for a lot. Krish is very much like myself and I am indeed a biochemist by trade. I hope you like it. It took a lot of courage to put this out there so I hope you are kind in case you hate it. In any case, I welcome any feedback or comments you have and apologise in advance for any proofreading errors. I am a Brit so some words might be spelled differently.

This is the first part of the story. There is no sex here and it is quite long but I assure you that will come soon. Happy reading!

Chapter 1.

Sitting in a plush leather chair in Sandra's cafe in the beautiful town of Buckden, I was admiring the lovely autumn evening outside the window. The sun was just about to set, painting clouds in the sky with wonderful hues of orange and red. There was a crisp autumn wind blowing outside and I was grateful for the warmth of the cozy coffee shop and the excellent cup of coffee held between my fingers. To be honest, one can't help but contemplate their life and their place amongst the chaos of the world at times like this and I was doing just that. You could describe me as a successful bloke, looking at my life from the outside. Being a senior lecturer in biophysics at Cambridge would certainly give people a favorable impression of success. I had worked long and hard to get there and by all accounts I should have been proud to be so far ahead in my career at just 32 years of age. My parents and the two friends that I had were certainly proud, yet I couldn't help but feel like I had failed in life. The beautiful, smiling face of Claire Smith bringing me a fresh cup of coffee and my toasted teacake only served to exacerbate that feeling.

Clare Smith could only be described as an ethereal beauty. Barely five two, she was the personification of the word petite. She had strawberry blonde hair that looked red in the proper light, the greenest eyes I had ever seen until then and skin smooth like a baby's bottom. Her dimpled cheeks, and pixie nose made her all the more otherworldly. She had a long neck attached to an exquisite body that was slim and svelte but also curvy in just the right spots. To say that she blew my mind would be an understatement.

She was one of the first people I met in Buckden when I moved from Cambridge two years ago. Being new to town with a new house and a promotion meant that I was looking for things. I had stumbled upon her quiet cafe on the high street a week after my move and gone in for a much needed coffee break. The aroma of coffee beans wafted across the street and the delicious looking teacakes inside made my mouth water. It wasn't tourist season so the place only had regulars quietly enjoying their beverages and I took to the cozy ambiance of the place immediately. Claire had welcomed me with her usual bubbly attitude and had given me a detailed history of the place. I hadn't been smitten as soon as I saw her but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't immediately attracted to her. The cafe was owned by her mother Sandra who worked there until she had to retire because of a horrible car crash. Her dad had died when she was 13, a few years after they had bought the cafe and turned it into what it was. Having been around since she was a child, she loved the cafe and took pride in it. It would be considered too much information if you didn't know Claire. That day had started our uncanny acquaintance.

Claire was one of the kindest and most gentle people I met after I moved and she helped me a lot over the first few months with finding things around town. There was just this ease with which she went about life that made her all the more beautiful. She also had an infectious laughter and was always smiling. I found myself going to the cafe not just for her awesome coffee but also for the banter and the conversation that Claire offered. I was an introvert in a new town but Claire just made me feel so at ease that it was never awkward to speak to her. What started as a biweekly habit quickly became a daily one and after a few months, I had to admit to myself that it wasn't just the cafe that made me warm and fuzzy when I went there. I usually spent an hour and a half there and worked on the day's problems over a few cups of coffee. The only time I didn't go was if I was out of town or had other work commitments.

"Would you like some strawberry jam to go with the teacake, Krish?", she asked in the sweetest tone a person could have. Realisation dawned on me that I had been staring at her while she was laying out my order on the table. "Krish? Jam?", she asked again with a playful smirk on her face. I mentally slapped myself for being so stupid and getting caught unaware. To be fair to myself, not staring at Claire at that moment would have been more difficult than modeling a completely new compound in my lab. The warm afterglow of the sunset lit her exquisite face in a way that made her look like a Vermeer painting. "Sorry Claire, a bit distracted there. Yes please, I would love the jam.", I said sounding guilty. "Hey, no worries! You okay? You've been quieter than usual this evening, and have barely doodled anything in that stupid book of yours!", her expression was one of concern. "Everything's fine, just admiring the wonderful sunset." I said with a forced smile.

"Okay then, be all mysterious. I thought after two years of seeing you every evening, I would at least know more than your name and what you do for a living. I'm supposed to be your friend! Please tell me you're not a serial killer!" she gave out a melodious laugh and gently slapped my shoulder. "Hah! Nope, I definitely wouldn't find the time and energy for serial killing duties after my workday! I hear it's quite taxing!". Despite my sombre mood, her awesome bubbly personality had made me laugh again, probably for the third time that evening. "You should smile more often, it suits you! You look like Grouchy Smurf most of the time. Anyways, I'll get the jam and leave you to your doodling." "I do not doodle, woman! This is important science stuff that will win me a Nobel Prize one day!", I said with a mock glare. She gave me that amazing laugh of her's that made her strikingly green eyes light up and the deep dimple on her right cheek made an appearance making my heart beat a little faster. She walked off nodding her head and I admired her petite form with a violin-like back for a fleeting moment.

I quickly brought myself back to reality though, averting my gaze to my notebook. I wasn't anything special to her, just a regular at her shop and she was just as kind, friendly and funny with everyone I had seen her around. I so dreamt that the megawatt smile would be reserved only for me but probably so did the rest of the young men in the quiet town of Buckden. Men that were much less awkward, much more attractive and much younger. Not to say they were numerous but they did exist.

Now, I wasn't the ugliest bloke on the planet. I kept myself in shape, had long black hair, green eyes and was average height. My French father and Indian mother had blessed me with good genes making me look somewhat exotic. I had a spartan like lifestyle where I worked out diligently and ate right, mostly for the cognitive benefits and not the aesthetics. Despite this, I was nowhere near as attractive as the guys that hung around Claire. While I was fit and average looking, she attracted cover models.The problem was that Claire was only 23 and I felt like a cradle robber every time I entertained the idea of asking her out. She deserved to be with someone her own age who would grow with her, have fun and explore life. 32 year old Grouchy Smurf who dressed in sensible clothes and shoes and read biophysics books for fun was a huge no no for a vibrant young woman like her! I kept a respectful distance from her and felt guilty every time I admired her. It would only be too easy to open up to this woman, even as a friend and she would end up owning my heart eventually. She was not just another pretty face and was one of the strongest and most optimistic people I ever met. Clearly light years out of my league.

If you couldn't tell by now, I liked Claire very much! But I wasn't swimming in confidence when it came to romantic stuff. I was one of the most promising young biophysicists in the world but when it came to women, I wasn't any better than a moron. I had always been a nerd and had a crippling anxiety when it came to asking women out. Tried everything out there. Speed dating, online dating, hanging out at bars but I had yet to have a relationship with a woman. Sure, I went on a dozen first dates, there was never a second one. I didn't believe in sex without a connection or so I told myself, hence it should come as no surprise that I was still a virgin. Claire was the only woman I had ever bantered with. It blew my mind how easy she was to talk to. I never thought of any shortcomings from my introverted nature when I was with her. Over the years, I had loads of female classmates and colleagues. Even dates, no one had ever made me feel as relaxed as she did. My mom would be happy. She'd tried unsuccessfully to set me up multiple times. Even if I was willing, it had ended in a disaster every single time.

I was feeling exceedingly sorry for myself when Claire returned with the jam. I was so engrossed in self pity that I just mumbled my thanks to her and she gave me a questioning look, shook her head and went away. Seems like she was doing that a lot lately. "Just ask her out! You're not that bad!" my brain said. "Yeah, right!" I replied. The truth was that over two years later, I barely knew anything about her besides her love for the cafe and the surface details. She had mentioned that after her mother's accident, she sometimes struggled to keep the cafe going. Struggles I knew nothing about. "Who's fault is that?" my brain asked again. Frustrated about the lack of work I got done that day and having wasted time wallowing in self pity, I got myself together and finished my coffee. Closing my book and leaving money for the coffee and the tip, I started walking towards the door trying to ignore Claire. As I was about to leave, she called out "See you tomorrow Krish!". I gave her a quick smile and left. If only I could have been younger and more confident.

Chapter 2

It was a chilly Saturday morning. I was on the bus home from the airport after attending a conference in Seattle. I was feeling good and inspired after looking at all the new science people were doing. I also had the chance to meet my best friend who worked as a surgeon there and spent some time with a collaborator at the university of Washington. The time was transformative and I was surprised how many Ideas I had after spending two weeks watching other people work and approach challenging problems in our field. One idea was brewing in my head to solve a preferred orientation problem we were having in our lab. I opened my trusty notebook to make some notes about it when a slip of card fell onto my lap.

" Hey Krish! You looked very troubled this evening. I hope you feel less troubled soon. I'm here if you need to talk."

Your friend,

Claire

I stared at the card for ages, reading it over and over. When had she snuck it into my notebook? How troubled did I have to be to have missed Claire leaving a card in my notebook? How stupid could I be? She must think me an idiot! Why had I not seen this sooner? What would she think of me for not replying to her or even telling her I would be away? My mind was swimming with questions and regrets. I hadn't been to the cafe since that evening. Then I noticed the words " Your Friend ". It made me feel warm for a moment. Claire was indeed my friend! It wasn't a conventional friendship but she cared enough to notice I was acting differently. It was instantly replaced by guilt for not noticing the card sooner or going to the cafe before I left. I felt like a bad friend. Vowing to visit as soon as I dropped my bags off, I put the card back carefully and resumed my work.

I reached Cambridge around lunchtime and dropped into the lab to grab a book to refer. I had a nice lunch at my favorite sandwich shop and went to the bus stop again to take a bus home. All the while, thoughts of Claire kept swirling in my head. I was practically a stranger to her, yet she had the empathy to care about my tough times. I felt both lucky and disappointed in myself. I had never offered her a sympathetic ear in the time I had known her. Sure, we would talk about her problems with the cafe occasionally. It was mostly she who talked and me who listened. She would always catch herself before she said too much and I would continue 'doodling' as she called it. It made me laugh! She teased me mercilessly about it. Might that have been a call to my attention? I never put the doodling aside to make her feel comfortable enough to share her troubles. I was so afraid of her rejection that I had acted like a complete arse and never bothered to really listen.

That wouldn't do at all. I vowed right there that I was going to at least be a better friend and be the              re for her if she needed me. I may never have a chance for anything more but I would be an idiot if I wasn't friends with someone as wholesome as she was. When did I become so selfish and self centered that all I wanted from her was a date? She was a real person with real feelings and I felt tremendously ashamed of myself for having had the thoughts I had. I resolved to change that and let go of all my expectations. I would do it if I truly cared about her. I realised that I did truly care about her.

I was broken out of my thoughts when my bus arrived. Climbing on, I couldn't wait to get back home and speak to Claire and apologize for my shit behavior. I was reminded of my mum, the kind and gentle teacher who always saw the best in people. She was the reason I became an academic. Claire was just as kind as her and the thought made me smile. it had been a while since I'd called mum and I did just that.

" Hiya love! Been a while since you called your poor mother! How was Seattle? Frankie! It's your son! come speak to him!"

"Hiya mum! Sorry I couldn't call. Don't start guilting me! Seattle was very busy. How are you and dad doing?

" Your dad is driving me nuts with that stupid shed of his he keeps changing every week. He's adding a new doodad to his tool collection today. Says it will make cutting wood slabs easier."

"The doodad is called a table saw my love" came my father's voice.

" Hiya son! Hope you had a good trip. Are you home yet?"

"Just got on the bus home dad. congratulations on the new table saw! The old one was too beat up and unsafe. I feel so much better that you got a new one. Any new projects?"

"Don't you encourage him Krishnaprasad Ponton!" said my mum. She was clearly unhappy with dad's purchase! Now would be a good time to laugh at my half Indian half French name! A result of my parents being hardcore 'Hare Rama Hare Krishna' hippies. It was the reason I was mercilessly bullied in school!

"All he does is make stupid wood things. I thought retirement meant vacations in Spain, maybe a nice villa, but your father is too much of an 'artisan' to move!"

"Now now, my love, you know I promised to retire as soon as Krish got married. Not my fault your son is useless there!" My dad teased again. He was a woodworker and a great one at that. Mum had retired when she turned 64 last year and dad was 66 but he had joked that he wouldn't retire until I found a woman. It was his favorite way of teasing me for the last year.

"Whatever happened with that Claire woman, Krish? You speak so fondly of her. Have you asked her out yet?" asked mum.

"I don't have a chance mum. She's so much younger than me, not to mention extremely beautiful. You've seen her when you visited! I have absolutely no chance!"

"Listen here Krish, you're not too old but you will be if you don't do something about it. You are the best man I know. Handsome, brilliant, successful. Any woman would be lucky to have you!" mum said.

"I think you're biased mum!" I said laughing "Aside from my career, I'm hardly interesting and my career is so complex that people start snoring when I talk about science. I'm better off being alone."

"Don't say that son. You deserve to be happy and it breaks my hear when you say things like that. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there. You'll find someone just like I found your dad all those years ago." The blinding love in my mum's voice made me smile. They had been together for 39 years and were still so in love. I wished I had what they had.

"Anyways mum, I've decided that I won't date again. It goes nowhere and it isn't worth the hassle. What you and dad have is a one in a million thing. I don't think I'll ever be that lucky. And life isn't that bad! I got so inspired after Seattle. I think I have stuff to keep me very occupied for the next three years at least!"

Sensing the change of topic and my excitement, mum asked "It's great that Seattle was so inspiring love. How are Neil and the kids?"

Neil was my friend I visited who was married to a beautiful woman and had two adorable boys who were my god kids. I loved them to death and spoiled them often. "The boys are doing great mum! Josh said he wanted to visit the LMB this year for an apprenticeship. Wants to be a scientist like his uncle! Jake is an adorable little fella. he's grown so much since last year!"

"That's good son. Your dad has gone back to his toy and I must go too. I hope you reconsider the dating thing Krish. You'll make a wonderful father and husband. Must go now, Love you Krishy!"

"Love you too mum! Tell dad to be careful! Bye now!"

My mum's words were only too true. I had everything in life but I so yearned to be a parent. Neil and his wife Susan were excellent parents. We had been friends for as long as I could remember and they lived just down the street from us. Neil was as weird as I was and we bonded over our love for science. He was the closest thing to a brother I had. He and Susan found each other immediately in school. No one batted an eye when they both moved to the US to study and got married four years later. It was always meant to be. Susan was another woman whom I wasn't as awkward around but she still wasn't as good a friend as Neil and Sam were. Sam being my other friend who was a filmmaker and bit of a ladies man. His problem was of abundance. He was too good looking and cool that women threw themselves at him. It grew old after a while and now he was just as lonely as me. The difference was that he wasn't scared of putting himself out there. He was my bully oddly enough but one time he had needed help with his maths homework and I was the only one willing to put up with him. What started as a month long tutoring session turned into a lifelong brotherhood and he still apologises for the bullying. We both envied Neil and spoke about our shortcomings often. He would be the best person to have a drink with now. I really needed his input. My sad life only had two real friends and my parents in it. Wait, that wasn't true any longer. Claire had said that she was my friend too.

I wanted nothing more than a loving family of my own but the truth was that I would probably be too cowardly to chase after it. Maybe one day I would magically change, at least I could hope to. Reality demanded that I get off my arse and take the risk of being rejected and date someone, be devoted to them and find love. It wouldn't be easy and I was terrified of it but I couldn't wallow and yearn at the same time. Something had to give. With a head full of thoughts, I exited the bus when I got to Buckden around 4 in the afternoon. I was looking forward to a hot shower after two days of travel and was tired, sore and hungry. Then there was Claire. I was both excited and terrified to see her but I would cross that bridge when I got to it. I so wished someone like her could be my forever. Maybe even her?