by Anon2551965
A pretty hot story, needed some editing though. I didn't know message oil was edible though? Anyway, will there be a repeat performance?
Also the verb tenses kept changing from present to past tense. very distracting.
He was back and forth between alpha and beta, between strong and weak, between confident and worried -- without any clear character arc. She was two-dimensional, not enough character development. And one of your paragraphs ended with a period, followed by a .pl. (You really need an editor).
I liked the overall direction and shape of the story, but it needs an overhaul. 3 stars.