All Comments on 'Coincidences Pt. 01'

Brilliant story. Can't wait for part 2 to see where you take this. 5 stars

disjointed scene shifts, unless the narrator is an insane person a story should flow, not bounce around like a pin ball in a pinball machine in a hurricane

...can’t wait for chapter 2...

Superspy bullshit. Is every third man in the universe a SEAL/Assassin/Superspy? This is as cliched as foot long cocks and 40DD tits. One star.

That's one dumb cheating wife. She's married to a detective and still thinks she can get away with her little fling. I hope part two shows Bart just how wrong he is not to be worried about her husband. Both of the cheaters should be very afraid. Wonder if she will keep up her Wednesday dates?

please continue

meh

The wife claims she !over her husband. But what we see is a self centered, selfish woman who is lost and is destructive to herself and everyone else.The husband, I hope survives the undercover police work needs to be rid of her!!!!!!

Excellent story line and very well written. I’m looking forward to future chapters.

When the wife’s primary reason for cheating is that she is utterly selfish, that doesn’t leave a lot of room for mitigation from the husband’s point of view. Paula loved him so completely, yet did it anyway. Worse, the affair was important enough to her that she went to considerable lengths to see that it continued.

I wonder if the undercover op is also a means by which Bic detaches himself emotionally from their marriage/relationship.

A reconciliation isn’t impossible, although that would have to be a whole new relationship in my opinion. Years Into the future when compared to the time of this current chapter.

Is found in the study of history. A d thus it ended.

It was fairly obvious seeing where this was headed.

Would be fun for her to dump Bart and warn him only for him to keep up the arrogance.

Comes in one day and finds all his pens replaced by Bics 😈

After ignoring the warning he wakes up to find his dick replaced by one 🤣

Smoke that ass. And skin lover boy's calves off. Take off all his toes. Then smash his nuts into paste. He'll live. Just not able to walk correctly, much less fuck something that doesn't belong to him.

Just have to wait and see if this story follows the others.

They were happily married, but she cheated anyway.

Bic should have had the selfish slut served before he went off on the 6 month assignment. There's nothing worth saving in that relationship.

Good story. I like how you are starting!

Looking forward to the next chapter

Paula isn't sympathetic in any way I can detect.

So I really don't care about what she feels. I am interested in Bic getting back on top of his life. He certainly deserves better than being tied to a pathetic, backstabbing slut.

I will be interested in seeing where this is going. Hopefully you don't punish Bic but lay the board of correction across the asses that have it coming.

Looking forward to Pt. 2.

Thanks!!

I look forward to the conclusion

... since Bic was able thwart a bank robbery with a pen, how he might use the pen to avenge his marriage. I’ll look forward to chapter 2.

well written.

I can see this going either way.

But the guy needs punished and the wife? uncertain but she clearly doesnt love her husband all that much.

Maybe the husband will fall for a fellow undercover FBI girl hehe

It seems like a unfinished story, or maybe not.

Well written. I look forward to more.

First, thanks for NOT having a one-page Chapter One.

Second, I realize that it gives you a cliff-hanger, but assuming the story is complete, why not put the whole story in a single posting?

@Anonymous Re: "Superspy bullshit" - I don't see that. The manager of the hotel was the guy whose life he saved. Remarkable coincidence, but not exactly superspy stuff.

@lujon2019 - It didn't feel disjointed to me. It might have been helpful to put the scene titles in boldface.

but I smell a RAAC coming. No legitimate reconciliation is possible.

The anniversary champagne should have scared the shit out of her to the point where she ended the affair. As written, she seems beyond dense, even though she is also written as being paranoid to the point of wearing a wig.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. Her selfish decision to have a fling before having kids with her husband is a very clear signal that she is NOT worthy to be his wife and mother of his kids. There may be a chance of reconciliation, but I doubt it in this case. This story should have the hero get rid of his cheating wife and find somebody worthy of him and have the family that he desires. As for her, at least several years (maybe a lifetime) of regret - she may or may not find love again, and probably won't have kids (maybe she'll end up a lonely cat lady). Anyways, looking forward to part 2.

So the pig is out murdering black people and decides to Gaslight his wife? Hope he dies.

The Cat (Bic) toying with the mouse (Paula). I know the title says Chapter 1. If that is the case and there's another chapter then it's all good. If this is the end then the story feels unfinished. Is Bic gone for good? He's taken all his clothes but has he taken anything else? His tools, any family mementos? Since he went undercover, why would he need his clothes? Will he continue paying a part of the household expenses or will they lose the house since she won't be able to keep up with the bills? My biggest question is why Bic simply didn't confront his wife after the first time she cheated? If he loves her, why not put a stop to the affair before it grows legs? If her cheating even one time is a deal breaker, why play games? Does he think leaving a black wig on a car top is going to change anything or make her feel any worse? Seems unlikely. He doesn't have family but does she have family that she could go live with? A lot of unanswered questions.

Let’s see part 2

You write this in an understated style that somehow makes it that much more powerful. It's hard to see what else needs to happen--but of course I will eagerly read the second part, when it appears.

Thanks, ohio

Go undercover, Bert! Great story about an attractive narcissistic and selfish woman whose affair was more important than her marriage. She chose to ignore the clues and continued the affair until it was too late. I cannot see a single reason to give her another chance. He gave her everything he had, even clues and chances and obviously it wasn't enough. What can he give her tomorrow to make her truly happy, that he hadn't given her today? Nothing, people like her never have enough. She didn't count her blessings, but focused instead in the thrill of the illicit sex. Once she eats the prohibit fruit and enjoys its taste, will she ever stop missing the thrill? No matter how sorry she is, or what promises she makes him today, she is going to break his heart tomorrow again. Save him the sorrow. 5* for the great plot and the writing.

more for the management of tension and drama than any particular feeling of empathy with the characters.

Which of course is my helpful commentary.

Green-something

The writer stumbled in the premise for this story. The protagonist was painted as an action hero, attacking an armed thug with only a ballpoint pen. (No idea why a police officer wasn't armed, but... okay... let that go...) Why would a man given to instantaneous reaction to a threat indulge himself in a farcical cat and mouse game with a cheating wife..?

The writer shows some skill with words, uses a spell check, and the text is adequately proofed. I'll have to wait to see if the writer has better ideas for story plots in later works. Fingers crossed!

Looking forward to the reading part 2.

. . . enjoyed it. Looking forward to more. Thanks very much.

This is shaping up well. Looking forward to the sequel, and more stories from you. Keep up the good work.

Very nicely done. Careful, engaging. I look forward to Pt. 2 and many more.

One and a half pages does not require chapters when there are only going to be two chapters.

Ignore all the anonymous naysayers and complainers. This was a good story. Those who complain about this good free entertainment should either shut up or put up, i.e. they should write their own stories. There have been many good writers who have been driven away by uselessly negative responses in this category. Please don't let yourself be one of them.

anon.1

Look forward to part 2

I gave you 5*s but I do agree with some. No way does the husband sit back and say nothing, have sex with her like normal while she's still getting tapped by Bart.

I hope the second part is soon. I am ready for the revenge.

Ignore the ones that hide behind a cloak and snipe away, this was a good well written tale and I enjoyed it to the level of 5 stars.

Taut psychological thriller. You know the train wreck is coming, but can’t look away. Paula is a delicious villainess. I can’t wait to see what wayward path you create for her, and what rationalizations she concocts. Very engaging. I look forward to more. Thanks

As of late, Literotica's offerings have left me, unsatisfied, to say the least. Thats not to say that they weren't any good, they just didn't reach me. Your offering reached me. It was well written and didn't boarder on the fanatical. Looking forward to more from you.

Good story.

I really enjoyed this story. I made a mistake in the star rating, but could not get it to change to 4 stars. Keep writing more of the same quality.

hope you have the conclusion ready to go! She certainly burned herself, the worst kind of cheating, for no good reason. Nothing you can do but dump sluts like this or use them as a sex toy for a few years while lining up a permanent replacement.

It's easy to ignore weird things, especially when you have your head in the clouds.

Sad that so many seem to dislike the story. I hope they write better ones and share them here on Literotica.

For my part, thank you and I trust the next installment is every bit as good as this one.

Re: the very astute reader who made this comment: (So the pig is out murdering black people and decides to Gaslight his wife? Hope he dies.) Since you don’t have the balls to get and use an ID this is the only way you can be addressed, so here goes:

Just where in this story did the writer mention race? Yet you, very astutely seem to assume the bank robbers were black. I call you astute because a quick check of census and justice department records show that while blacks make up less than 15% of the population they are responsible for a much larger percentage of crime. (I don’t quote the percentage because there seems to be disagreement on the numbers, but all agree it is much larger than 15%. So in all probability you are right, the bank robbers were black. Thanks for pointing this out.

Now—on to why we are here; hapmarried, don’t let the nay-sayers get you down’ you have done an excellent job with this story—in fact, it’s good enough I’m now going to read your other work and I’m looking forward to the finish of this one.

GOOD LUCK! CD

Good story.

Remember half of these idiots who comment actually think these are totally real stories. Seems no one can grasp the difference between real and fake anymore, well the idiots any way.

Ignore the basement dwelling butcher them at any cost mob, I'm sure justice will out in part 2 and look forward to it. A couple of decent new writers appearing so let's support them, even if it doesn't go your way...if you ain't happy apply for a full refund. Thank you hapmarried for your work.

I don't think the husband is a cuck, he knows that he has the support a numerous people and the wife's life is going to meltdown. all of the bad stuff will happen and to her while he is away. I think you are in a position to write an ending that leaves both cheaters with lonely broken lives; unable to stand the sight of each other. Bic will return triumphant with enough female companionship to choose an honest life partner that just happens to be smoking hot.

Loved it and ready for Chapter 2.

Thanks

Be sure your sins will find you out. I guess they did in this case.

5

Yes, I know I quoted a biblical passage out of context.

Waiting for part 2.

Nicely done and an easy read. Looking forward for more.

I really liked your story. Can’t wait for the next chapter. Keep them coming.

Pretty good story so far. Interesting. Gave it 4 Stars.

I like the twist of a retired friend spotting the trouble from the get go.

Did not care for the last turn of events. No fan of the secret, dangerous, for my country and now I am out of touch you cheating "ho" missions. He will be a hero, save zillion lives, coral the evil bad guys, almost lose his life, etc. etc. then decide if he is really going to dump her.

Will try to keep an open mind about Pt 2 but it won't be easy. That last turn may be too much to over come....unless it is all bull shit and he really just moved to Costa Rica without the bitch.

Interested in where you're going to take your tale.

Good writing, well-developed characters, sexual tension. So far, so good. Waiting for more. Thank you for your effort! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️

were supposed to be delighted she got caught, and entertained by the way the stupid whore ignored all the subtle warnings. In chapter 2 we will get the drama and suspense of how the whore deals with her wrecked marriage, the methods by which she and her asshole are tormented and toyed with, and enjoy the frustration of her regret being too late and her attempts at contrition being too little.

I suspect the husband will get injured and the wife will try to win him back by being his nurse, hand servant, provider, and full time whore. I hope he lets her. Then when he's recovered he can form a new life with one of the incredibly brave and intelligent women he regularly meets but ignored while being a loyal loving husband. She has freed him while at the same time enslaving herself to a future of humiliation, regret, and a consolation marriage that will be like moving from a mansion to a trailer park.

Fortunately most women are way too smart to make this mistake, but its fun reading about the one's who do, and get what they deserve.

Thanks for the effort, I hope. Don't cuck it up.

Good imagination and presented pretty darn well, unlike, I might add, the trolls who have little creativity and try to sap aspiring writers with their poorly written meanness.

perhaps a bit predictable but with some definite wit. The "Bic" nickname and the reason for it were worth four stars all by itself.

Her:"It was a mistake. I'm so sorry. If I could just see him, talk to him.” A mistake is to break a glass, not cheat for weeks or more.

I liked your story very much. It wasn’t overwritten and it’s spareness made then ending more effective. It deserves a strong finish. Thanks for this.

clearly you haven't grasped the epicness of the mindfucking Bic gave Paula. And I suspect that the fun is only just beginning. And have any of you morons figured out that Jack might not be telling Paula the truth concerning Bic whereabouts? I think the mindfucking Paula will receive in the following chapters will be worth the wait.

Please make another story about officer Bic shooting one by one all the trolls who love making women evil and then burning them alive. These people are members of satanic cults. They create stories making women the worst human being on earth and then condemn them to death. The worst part is they make the husbands the hero in the end which is depicted as one of their kind. They abhor the authors who make erotic fictional characters that involves cuckolding and claim that there's no men who would act that way, yet they also create fictional characters for women who wouldn't also act that way in reality. But they do it anyway, because their intention is to burn them in the end, just so they could prove that women are cheaters, slut and whore by nature and men are the most superior human being in this planet.

Not the first husband to try, without confronting her directly, to guilt his wife into stopping her affair by reminding her of what she has at home. But cheaters are already rationalizing big time to permit themselves to stray, so the subtlety of this method never seems to work. And these men are the type to already be the best kind of husband, so the wife never thinks that the special attention means something different.

A young marriage and no children? Walk away.

I don't underestimate the flow of the story. I really tried but this story is too convoluted.

I hate that he was allowing her to have her fun and then when it was over to just take her back, assuming of course it happened sooner than it did. So just how long is too long? For me, it only takes once.

Looking forward to reading part 2!

Nice LW story. A nice change that there was even a wife for a change. Well written, good pace, and I felt her emotions in your writing. Great, 5star effort.

After all the cuckold trash have to suffer seeing in tags, descriptions and comments. Don't worry, I don't read trash stories, so those fetish eriters are safe from crying at my words.

Shame he just ran off with his tale between his legs. Only thing to make it 6star would have been positive btb action.

I think I've read this one before, probably when I wasn't logged in since it showed I hadn't voted. I couldn't remember the ending, and I'm not sure I ever read part two. So little time, and so many stories

It’s a solid story. The end detracts from it. Writers should stop using the cliche: ‘it was a mistake’. A mistake happens once, with mitigating circumstances - say a high stress level compounded by alcohol, and someone nearby who’s willing to take advantage. Deliberate choices aren’t mistakes, and certainly not when they are willingly repeated.

That’s some fine ass storytelling. Loved the suspense.

Just a great story that just keeps building suspense. Hapmarried is one of the better new authors of the past year.

****Very entertaining read damn that was good!! Thanks for sharing.

5 stars - I liked this story.

It was not as if he didn't give her enough hints and visual clues for her to realize that the current affair was just one too many. Too bad she did not believe in monogamy. She deserved what she got - no more Bic - EVER.

Really well done!!

Bic and Bart. How cute. 2

Tightly written, a fun ride. Poor silly woman. It's the Garden of Eden all over again, and the forbidden fruit that seems tasty... at first.

I remember a quote in one of these stories” are women born crazy, or do men make them that way?

Here is a better one. “ Are women born sluts, or do they evolve that way?”

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. The lesson here, to all aspiring to be married men, is get a pre-nup. If you decide to give her slut ass a second chance, get a post nup. Women spread their legs for attention, absolutely. But they really, really get horny for a huge bank roll. Threaten they with losing that. I guarantee they will somehow grow a conscience.

5 stars

Liked your story a lot

Haven't read the next bit, but I'd have finished it right there. No need for recrimination, emptying out of accounts, breast beating or revenge. The story works perfectly as it stands.

I'll go and read the next chapter now.

Reading all of hap’s stuff again. This one is just outstanding.

It's not done, can't comment. LP

Excellent.

5 stars so far.

Loved it.

Good story. No consequences for the cheating slut??

great story! Captures the rational of a habitual cheater. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Neat. Perfect in fact. I'm English so it doesn't need any more. Welike endings like this. 5*

Now thats how you write a story.

2 pages that told a story that most drag out to 4 or more.

Excellent work!!

Good story but I would’ve thought Bic would’ve lowered the boom, so to speak, B4 he signed on to the task force. Also, nothing else with her & lover boy, even though we can guess. The wig on top of the Fusion was a great move.

All in all, 4 stars. — Bob

A great read with no excess padding out with tedious details of how they met, their academic careers or minutely detailed descriptions of their jobs. 5 stars.

5 Stars on a Great Story . It Reminds Me of the Mickey Spillane type

Very well written story You could use a good editor. 5 for plot and silent emotions.

Damn good story! Burn time.

I haven't read this since it came out, so I don't know how it comes out. Right now, I don't see a reconciliation, but I can be convinced. One thing in favor of a reconciliation is that she wasn't monster. Too many stories have the wife so evil that you want her dead, and the authors twist themselves into knots to reconcile them.