All Comments on 'Cold Revenge on the Office Slut'

Penalty phase???

Good story, but not complete!

Giant RED FLAG. If the woman you just met gives you a blow job less than two hours after meeting her, remind yourself that there is nothing special about yourself. If she'll do that for you, she'll do it for any number of other guys.

The “cocktail” drug came out of nowhere. If they hadn’t been using it before wouldn’t it be odd for John to get the note from Evonne saying to add it to the cocktail? He’d have to ask one minor question about it and she'd be stumped, and they’d know something was up.

And where did the cocktail come from. You make it sound like a punch bowl or blender of premixed drinks. There was mention of drinks, but no mention of premade cocktails in the videos. What would happen if someone didn’t drink or drink much or was watching while the drink was made and question a powder being added? There was no mention of anything being added to drinks previous. Just one person remaining conscious would ruin the whole plan.

Nitrogen doesn’t float up in air, so you must have had the one tank filled with helium?

And how does Jim even know about the nitrogen tanks. His company makes stainless steel tanks. They sell them to a gases company that fills them, and with many separate gases. Jim’s company has nothing to do with gases.

So, he placed tanks of nitrogen in each of their hands. How does that “disfigure” the people? Place them in hand, then open valve? And tanks go subzero-cold so frostbite of hands? (If that was your plan, I would have leaned some of the cans on a face or two. Frostbite the flesh of cheek, nose, ear or lips for very public marking.) And the escaping gas gets subzero cold too. Is that the “cold” revenge? If not frostbite scenario then what was this disfiguring about?

How does Jim even know about tanks becoming cold if emptied too fast? It’s not like everybody knows this. Was Jim a welder at some point, or a compressed gases delivery truck driver at some point? Or some other occupation that used lots of compressed gases? (I was a chemistry major and used compressed gases all the time).

Why doesn’t he take the “heaps more”? What was the heaps more? Bearer bonds? Gold coin/bullion? Loose diamonds? Bricks of cocaine? Or was the heaps more just heaps more money? Shit. I would have taken as much as I could carry. Or was Evonne not worth that much? She was “stolen” from Jim, so he needs some monetary payback. It’s not stealing. Apparently, she was worth everything to Jim, and she was taken from him so it’s fair for some financial recompence. Plus, there was all the time and energy that Jim went through. That has to be worth something.

Interesting ideas in story, but too many possible flaws in revenge plan, don’t know what nitrogen tanks have to do with anything unless for frostbite (but it’s not mentioned), and questions about the “heaps more”.

Nitrogen filled balloons don't rise. And you never actually explain what he did with the nitrogen canisters, other than put them in folks arms (which wouldn't do anything.... the canisters are room temperature it's when you open them the nitrogen gas becomes cold, as it goes from compressed to normal temperature... basic Physics).

Not a bad story. I was hoping for more. The ending was very quick I think you could have expanded things out. Like what happened to Evonne did she beg for forgivenesses. How were people disfigured?

Again, with this author, there is no actual confrontation. Lack of drama or any kind of emotional response between husband and wife. Just a rather bland and pointless storyline. The writer is quite prolific and produces an easy to read story, but it could have been a shopping list rather than an account of the end of a marriage.

One point which grates slightly, he apparently kept going on for a million dollars in a suitcase in his house, surely he would have rented a safety deposit box for safe keeping?

Again no confrontation with the cheater. Did she plead, did she care? The story was good but without her reaction to being caught it was a wee bit flat. 4 stars for the writing.

Decent story, but I agree with the previous comments - too many details missing. Also, You said his wife changed into a short skirt and then her phone captured images from being in her back pocket - big error. Most skirts don't have pockets period, and the few that do have them in the front. This story really needs some work.

Ridiculous. A suitcase of cash $750,000 would devalue by the rate of inflation each year. So if inflation was around 3% then the cash would devalue by approx $25,000 yearly. In the approx 6 years he had the cash the purchase power would have dropped by around $150,000. Not exactly intelligent.

Mind you, this guy seems to have the brains of some mentally challenged person, given how naieve he was.

Not a scientist then!

Good story overall, but the ending was rushed and contained no detail on what happened to Evonne. 4*

That was bad. 2 Stars.

Nobody gets rich from burying cash in the back yard or stuffing it in a mattress. Okay, you got $750K but not only did it lose buying power due to inflation, but it could easily double every 7 years with a relatively conservative investment strategy. So what is shocking in not the suite case full of money. It the stupid of have a suit case full of money for decades.

The revenge was rather unsatisfying.

Another LW tale where the husband has secret riches. The second most overused trope after husband is a retired military intelligence officer or special forces vet that has started his own tech or security company. Dopey premise.

Not terrible, definitely needed some more meat towards the end though explaining the fallout and what happened with the titular slut. A good revenge story should show the results. 4 stars.

Stop with the quantity over quality.

Slow down, do one story, put in the time and effort to make it enjoyable, makes some sense, doesnt leave out or add too much detail, less cliched et al.

The problem here is, like so many "writers" you dont make your own story. You take everything everyone else has written, change the names, a couple of details and we get pure retreads.

I have read all 4 stories released on the same day. Most were saddled with too much detail building to an epilogue with way too little detail. This story was an exception. It was not just too little detail in the Epilogue but too little detail in the main story for a change.

Nitrogen is not lighter than air! It's either hydrogen or helium.

Nitrogen isn’t lighter than air ( air is 79% N2) the old blokes schwanger would have stayed as flat as this little dreadful

Good piece of a read, I must I enjoyed it thoroughly. But to be honest I find it extremely unbelievable an outsider can easily get into a board room of a company even with those nitrogen sleeping gas. Their should been ample security even with all those sex activities as they could be done discreetly and privately without the knowledge of security guards. And one more thing, the husband's virtuous patience horribly failed him when he did not check out Evonne's slutiest during their pre-marital relatioship. He heared rumors but he was in a hurry to put his penis in and ultimately married her. His patience also made him a cuckold all those times he only got BJ's and handjobs from the whore. AND one more thing, I would have liked a little more detail what happened to Evonne afterwards. Nice story pietro108.

“ It was also assumed that in a fit of insanity… he had permanently disfigured all of the participants.”

How? I don’t get it. Something about ‘cold’ revenge I’d wager but I’ve read it twice and have no idea what you’re talking about. Did you think a nitrogen gas canister had the same effects as LIQUID nitrogen, or what? Even then, what did he actually DO with them?

This story was a mess,no facts worked. Another out of space adventure.

So many unnecessary details go into your stories, yet the details that are needed are always left out.

There is never any confrontation.

Also the words you hyphenate in EVERY story are NOT hyphenated, for example disrespect is not dis-respect.

Peers to me, that some commenters are so into showing their 'smarts' that hey fail to read or understand the story. for example, the one that brought up the rate of inflation, would devalue the money.He had added Early in the tale, it was told that he added to the amount. He added 30k to the original 750k.

Decent story until it fell apart at the end.

How were the cheaters disfigured? There were no details, so the revenge fell flat. What was Evonne's reaction to being discovered? Did she even care that her marriage was over? She'd been getting gang-banged for a year and avoiding all intimacy with her husband, so they were more like roommates at that point. This needed a final confirmation between the betrayed husband and his cheating wife.

What was the aftermath? What happened to all the unfaithful managers? Any divorces or criminal charges?

I have to say that the husband sounded like a naive fool. If a woman has a reputation for being a total slut, and she starts sucking your cock two hours after you first met, then the rumours are undoubtedly true. You don't try to turn a ho into a housewife!

Nobody is THAT stupid.

I would love to read a follow up to what happened to the group

N is also -320 and used to clean up after oxygen. It also would have done more damage, that being said. I was a good fucking story.

As many others have said, nitrogen won't float a balloon. So confused as to why he put a nitrogen container in each of their hands. A thorough investigator could have traced the manufacturing of the cannisters back to his company. Thanx....

Loklie

Nice

This is an excellent five star tale. I would have liked more detail of the revenge, such as the disfigurement. However, this was retribution squared.

Five Stars

The ending was not clear or detailed. Could've went into more detail on the wife at the end there

I know that something was frozen, but would like to know what. Need more information about the fallout for the company in then epilogue. Good idea, but not expanded enough.

This is stupid. His dad gives him $750,000. There is no trail on this money. The police can confiscate from this money from his car during a traffic stop saying that they think it is drug money, and legally keep it. He can’t place the money in the bank since any deposit above $10,000 gets reported to the IRS and then investigated to determine if it is drug money. So is he just going to hide in in his house and hope he that his cheating wife can’t find it!

Might be nice to understand what happened with the wife. Martian Slut Ray? She just started a new job and became a company whore, presto changeo? Another story focusing on the technology and the surveillance and the revenge, and almost nothing about the human beings. Guess it is satisfying for nerds, but some of us like stories that focus on the people, their motives, their minds, their personal stories. Maybe that is something you can develop after you get all the techno whizkid stuff out of your system. Its kind of boring.

But thanks for the effort.

1 star - major parts of the story are missing. It is disjointed and has many gaps with brief unfinished descriptions. It did not make a lot of sense.

This story seamed very familiar

How do you buy a phone app with cash? The first of many factual errors. Thanks for the effort, but two stars.

What happened to the wife? A lot of plot holes here.

JUST DESSERTS...FIVE STARS!

More detail was given to how the husband got to and from and back to the alibi river than to the actual revenge itself. That let a lot of loft out of this story’s balloon.

BTW - While nitrogen IS lighter than air (about 3%) you would need a balloon roughly the volume of a 55 US gallon barrel to lift an average size flaccid penis.

Gave this one an overall score of - Meh....

Nitrogen is not lighter than air, and as such, will not rise. In fact, air is 70+% nitrogen. Only helium and hydrogen will make a balloon rise. It's a good BTB story but wholly unbelievable. 3/5

All I have to say is...this story was ok up to the end...and all this story has is a Shity end...again this is a story about cheating...and a fucked up wife...so what happend to her here.....................

Awful. Yes, this is a fiction site and this is a story. But this is so implausible that it is a waste of time. Everyday the managers spend half of it in a group orgy? No, never has happened never will happen becauseno business would last more than a few weeks of such a regime. Office sex and infidelity happens all the time, but not at this blatant level. This is not a "company weekend retreat" or something similar where perhaps a few of the bad boys and girls might engage in group sex. This is every. day. It is such a stupid concept that I should have never read any further but by the time I figured what was going on I was 3/4ths of the way done. By the way, it is very poorly written as well as ill-conceived. 1*

Why do you never have a confrontation?

Husband finds she's cheating, concocts revenge and never talks to her again .

How odd.

Another LW husband marries an obvious slut and then is shocked when she continues to be what she was when he met her.

I work in commercial refrigeration. Use Nitrogen all the time, to leak check systems. It’s safe, and can be vented into the atmosphere. So my question is, what was the significance of the nitrogen in this story? How did everyone become disfigured? I assume the punch had a knockout drug in it, but everything else is a little hazy. I also agree with the other poster. No way does this go on every afternoon, at the place of business. And even hoes’ use Sex, to get what they want out of life. So there were at least 3 women involved, who were also married. Sooner or later one of the guys would have bragged about it to the wrong person, a wife would have grown tired of it, or decided it wasn't getting her the “ advancement” she wanted. Not to mention, that most real estate agents have to be in the field. Working a 1/2 day, every day, and getting off at 5, are not part of this reality.

I loved the premise of the story. But it needed some work, especially on the details. Most women, under the right circumstances, can act slutty. However, peer pressure, from family and friends, usually shape the reality, they live in. Discrete affair with the boss, sure. A one off on a business trip, yes, it happens. But becoming a sperm receptacle for a bunch of older, over weight men is not gonna happen. I gave it a 3.

Would have enjoyed some more discussion related to what was done to the orgy participants?

Kind of funny but totally unbelievable. Plus, when you marry a cunt well known for being a primo slut, what does he expect??

All your stories are boring as hell imo. No decent aftermath, no emotion no nothing.

1*

Read again. No sympathy when MC marries a known slut.

Agree

Knew she was slut and wimpy married her

Yeah, most of would have fucked her, and just moved on with no intent on anything else, especially marriage. He had to know, sooner or later she'd cheat. I don't think he is a wimp. Look what he did to them. Think of all the divorces. GOOD JOB. Keep writing.

XYZ

Crap

If I were you I would find a new hobby... surely there is something you are good at.

How can anyone stupid enough to marry a known slut feel bad when she acts accordingly.?!

So many of these stories where MC is written as marrying a slut then ignored all signs and then gets irate.

I normally quit reading early and just read comments.. Occasionally skip through narrative to see if possibly author is being humorous.

My stupidity index just rose another few points

Another plot that seems to unrealistic.

Very average unrealistic story

an act of inhaling smoke from a cigarette:

"he took a long drag on his cigarette"

Ftds

Just a load of pathetic fucking bullshit

Wow you really are fucking pathetic with these bullshit revenge plots that are something a chick might come up with if she had half a brain. And the whole not fucking your wife because she's too sore from fucking all day 🙄 I mean come on REALLY

Weak assed story.

Pretty poor story. Could have a hell of a lot better in the revenge stakes

Dumb.

5 Stars as Payback is a Bitch and Karma is Her Sister

Who cares!!?

Knew what she was like and married her. Go girl!! Hoping she was replaced by another slut.

These stories with stupid MCs really piss me off. What Man marries slut and then gets what he deserves and cries about it

Not enough aftermath. You rushed the ending and ruined the story.

You've written better stories. This one really deserved a zero but the lowest rating the readers are offered is 1* which seems a tad high for this.

You had a great story going then blew it. Once the MC knew of the orgy that Saturday night, why not get the spouses together to crash it? Also nitrogen does not rise, you were thinking of helium. You rushed a good story.

I was half expecting the MC to morph into Baldrick and declare “I have a cunning plan!” and sadly, without Blackadder to stop him.

Too vague at points yielded 4 stars rather than the 5 that we’re headed toward.

Bill S.

This story had potential, but fizzled out at the end. Too bad, Maybe the author will write another chapter or allow others to finish it.

Entire. Hunks of the story are missing. What is with the scars? The canisters? Did you forget a paragraph or two? FTDS

What a waste, your MC tosses any moral or honor in the trash to get revenge and not a single lesson learned by anyone. Would have been better just burning the building down with them all inside while on the phone with his wife telling her to enjoy eternity burning like she was about to do.

It lacks a proper ending. IT leaves the reader yearning for more!

Too many loose ends.

STILL CINCO ESTRELLAS!

Feminist deformations of English, such as "fishers", gets a 1.