Cold Steel

"It's half mine, right?" She smiled. "I'm holding the other half for him ... you know ... 'till next time I see him."

There was a lot more to Addie that met the eye. I took the plate of Chinese food and sat on the bed, gratefully eating the delicious food she meted out.

It suddenly seemed so normal, with me eating dinner and her watching me. It seemed right to have an adult conversation. I started in my usual tactful way. "How did you get mixed up with a loser like your husband?"

Addie was expecting my question and had an organized reply. "Jace was a nice guy when I met him. Had a steady job that paid well. Then he got laid off and started hanging out with his union buddies. He's been drinking a lot and has become abusive. I came from a nice home. I can't ...". She put her head in her hands and started quietly sobbing. I awkwardly leaned forward to comfort her, not knowing exactly where to put my arms.

I then reached into my uniform pocket. "Oh yeah, I forgot. I got you your own room next to mine. Here." I held the key in front of me. She put her hand on the key while I held it and looked me in the eye, her steely blue eyes showing newfound confidence.

"Thank you. I'll never forget this."

"It's nothing," I said. Of course what she said touched my heart. It meant everything to me. My life was shit and it felt good to do something nice for someone else. I'd almost forgotten how it felt when you'd done a good deed that was appreciated. She gathered up her few things and kissed me on the cheek.

"Don't worry about me. I'll get back on my feet soon."

I smiled and waved goodbye as she shut the door behind her. I got up and put the chain on the door and checked the deadbolt. Never hurts to be safe. I searched the dresser drawers to see if there were any vodka bottles that she saved and found nothing but neatly folded clothes. I swore softly to myself and grabbed my purse. There was an all-night liquor store about a mile from the motel.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a wicked headache. I guess that's what a half of a fifth of cheap vodka will do for you. I wretched in the bathroom and then brushed my teeth. I looked quickly at the mirror and was horrified by what I saw -- dark circles forming under my eyes and hair that would have been more appropriate for the Bride of Frankenstein. I jumped into a hot shower, which helped with my pounding headache. I put on a light coat of make-up (mostly to cover the shadows under my eyes) and blow dried my hair to make myself half way presentable. I forced myself to iron my uniform (I hate ironing, and using those cheap irons and ironing boards in a motel room made the experience that much worse) and made a cup of coffee using the in-room coffee machine (this was an act of desperation born out of laziness). I took the wretched brew and added a shot (maybe it was two?) of vodka to help it go down. Yeah, I guess I had a drinking problem but that's for another day. I went outside and knocked on Addie's door.

She opened it, and was already dressed. She looked cute and composed, her dishwater blonde hair washed and dried and pulled back in a ponytail and wearing a black skirt, white blouse and two inch heels. She looked great, except for her puffy right eye that was going to turn into a world class shiner.

"You clean up nice." I meant it. I no longer saw a frightened rabbit. I tried unsuccessfully to ignore my emerging feelings for her.

"That's the way I dress for my job."

I hadn't considered that Addie worked for a living. Could a woman be a chauvinist? Why didn't I consider that possibility? I was glad that she had a job. It would make it easier for her to get back on her feet.

"So what do you do?"

"I'm an administrative assistant."

I leaned against the doorjamb. How did a smart, cute woman find herself in a hellhole of a marriage?

"What company?"

"It's a small importer -- you know, Italian dishes, English linens, our company resells to home furnishing stores."

I liked that stuff. If I could ever afford to be in a house again I would like to have those things. The lawyers in my divorce basically sucked me and my ex-husband dry. We sold the house and split the money. I did put some of the nicer china, crystal and dishes in storage and Ron got most of the furniture.

The coffee and vodka got me going that morning, but my stomach rumbled.

"Want some breakfast, my treat?" I asked, hopefully.

"Sure." She picked up her purse and shut the door behind her. She'd obviously been waiting for me to stop by.

There was a coffee shop not far from our motel, owned by Nicole "Nicky" Flores an old friend of mine who was married to Ron's cousin. I pushed open the glass door and was greeted by a familiar face.

"Max," the matronly owner of the diner called out to me. She opened her arms and gave me a big hug, her oversized breasts pressing hard against my perfectly ironed uniform. "It's been a while."

"Work, you know." Truth be told I loved eating at her diner but my job interfered with eating regularly.

She shifted her gaze to Addy. "So who's the little lady?"

Before I could speak, Addie jumped in. "Addie ...Addie Russell. Pleased to meet you."

"That's quite a shiner you've got going there."

Addie dipped her head. It was clear she was a proud person and she was embarrassed by her situation. Nicky recognized right away that she hit a nerve. She hugged Addie.

"You don't have to say a word, honey. I'm sorry. You're in capable hands with Max."

Addie looked at her soulfully. "She saved me last night."

Nicky looked at me with a glint in her eye. "If there's saving to do, Max is the one to do it."

I was enjoying the lovefest but had to get to work on time. "So Nicky, why don't you just bring us breakfast, surprise us."

"Will do." She wiped her hands on her apron and went back behind the counter.

Addie and I found a booth in the back. Fake leather covered benches. My side had a few rips in it fixed with duct tape. The Formica top bore the stains of many cups of coffee. Nicky brought two glasses of ice water and went back to the kitchen.

I pointed to Addie's right eye. "Are you going to be OK at work?"

"My boss knows I've been having trouble at home. It's not the first time Jace's hit me. She's been trying to talk me into leaving him. I know I should have, but it's not that easy. I don't know ... my marriage vows said for better or for worse and I didn't have the instruction manual on the definition of 'worse.'" She took a long draw off of the ice water. "One of the neighbors must have called you. I was too busy trying to run away from Jace. He was really drunk and tried to rip off my dress. I must have screamed loud enough to wake up the entire neighborhood."

"So this is it?"

"I think it qualifies as 'worse' when your husband threatens to kill you. He's never done that before. I've never seen him that angry." She was finding her voice. I followed her analysis with my own brilliant observation.

"He's a big guy, and scary. I'm glad I had Lanny with me. I'm not sure I could have handled him by myself without Tasering him."

Addie's eyes could only see the good behind my blubbering. "Thank you for rescuing me. I really mean it."

I tried not to blush. I couldn't look at her eyes, so warm and full of life, and searching. It wasn't for me. It couldn't have been. I was just a beat officer, married to my job and incapable of sustaining a long-term relationship. Besides, Addie was into men. Or so I assumed.

Nicky rescued me. She brought two cups of steaming hot coffee and two plates covered with a chicken fried steak smothered in sausage gravy, hash browns, and a homemade biscuit. It all smelled wonderful, but it was the coffee I wanted first. I lifted my mug to my lips and let the dark brown elixir slide down my throat, making me forget the frightful coffee in my motel room.

"Ummm," I let out. Good coffee did that to me. I watched Addie add a copious amount of cream and was fumbling with the pink packet of fake sugar. Clearly not a coffee junkie.

"So Addie, do you have any family that might be able to help out?"

"Not near here. My family is out west in Oregon. My parents and my sister are all in Portland. I met Jace when I was attending the University of Dayton and we stayed in Ohio when Jace got a job at an automotive parts supplier. Sorry to say that I'm on my own."

She wasn't really on her own. I was going to help her. "We've got to find someplace permanent for you."

Surprisingly, she already was rebuilding her confidence. "Don't worry about me. I just need to get my bearings now that I'm not in the house. I just need to figure it out."

"Let me know if I can help."

"You've already helped me more than you could know. I'll be fine."

I was impressed. Addie had gotten her feet quickly on the ground. I wasn't going to worry about her. I worked through the massive breakfast, cleaning my plate to Nicky's delight, and left for work. Addie stayed back, and was having an animated conversation with Nicky. I was outside and looked back through the plate glass window. She was cute ... no adorable ... and I wondered how someone like Jace could have been so blind.

* * *

My partner was still "sick" (I was betting he went on a fishing trip) so I was stuck with Lanny again. He came up to me in the ready room as I was drinking another cup of coffee. You probably suspected that police station coffee is terrible. In general, you're right. But this was my week to provide the coffee and I bought a special blend from my ex-husband's family coffee business. I cleaned the coffee machine and was enjoying the first sip when Lanny came up from behind.

"Sarge, you still got that battered woman in your motel room?" He might as well have broadcasted his message to the entire station. I glared at him, but the damage was done. All eyes in the ready room were on us, and awaiting my answer. I gave him the evil eye again, my best icy stare.

"Sorry, sorry," the dumbass answered in a loud whisper. "I didn't know that you didn't tell anyone."

"I helped her get her own room, so she's staying all by herself." I spoke it in a clear voice so that no one would walk away with the wrong impression.

"Right ... right," the dumbass rookie muttered. I turned my back to him so he got the message to scram. He did. I didn't see him until it was time to go out on patrol, and that was twenty minutes of bliss for me to enjoy my coffee in silence.

It was the usual bullshit that day. I let Lanny handle most of it while I watched from the car. A fight to be broken up here, a car break in there. There was always a lot of yelling and I always had to be vigilant for someone showing up with a gun. But that day dragged on, and Lanny pissed me off that morning with his big mouth so I tried not to talk to him.

When I got back to the motel that night I saw that Addie had left a rose in a vase on my nightstand with a note inviting me to her unit for dinner. I was floored by what I saw in her unit. She had set up a hot plate and a toaster oven and was making burgers and fries. There was a bottle of red wine from a winery that I recognized.

The meal was delicious. I asked her how she pulled it together. Eating a bunch of French fries dipped in catsup, she answered, "I just took the bus to the mall and bought this stuff." She pointed to her purse. "This was on Jace. I know he would have wanted us to have these things. He's so considerate." She gave me a demure smile.

I played along. "I'm sure under that super asshole exterior was a man with a heart of gold. I'm sure he'd want you to have his share of the money. He's just that kind of guy."

"I'm not going to be greedy, but I'm sure he would have wanted to help me get back on my feet."

"Hear, hear to Jace." I lifted my paper cup full of wine. She clinked it with hers. The wine was sweet, like her.

The dinner with Addie was the best one I had in months, dinner with a real live adult, funny, sad and cute. She told me Jace's continuous drinking brought about a man she didn't recognize. He became abusive, verbally and physically, but her first instinct was to stay with him. She started to be afraid when she was in his presence, and his open drinking with his buddies at all hours of the night made her shrink into a tiny shell.

That's when I came into the picture. As Addie told me that night, she had hit a low in her life, with her literally cowering at the sight of him. He seemed to be angry all the time, and his rage peaked that night when I pulled her out of their house. She was a regular girl, somewhat high strung, but a person with the usual thoughts and desires. She was opening up before my eyes.

Speaking of opening up, I noticed one more button on her blouse was open. I could see inside it when she bent over when we were talking and eating. Old habits died hard. I managed a stolen glance here or there with the hope she wouldn't catch me looking at her, lustfully. I now thought that Jace was the stupidest person in the world to let go this witty, resourceful and insanely cute woman. A flash of her frilly white bra, the side of her breast, and the soft curve of her creamy white flesh, made me think of Maureen.

I suppressed the thought. It was too fast. Addie was still trying to get her sea legs. Besides, she was just with a man. I doubted she was even into women.

But she was ahead of me, of course. It was as if she were reading my mind when she spoke. "You know the reason I went to the University of Dayton when I lived my whole life in Portland?"

"No," I answered. "I don't why you went there."

"I went there because I was getting serious with my best friend. I'd known Caitlin since junior high, and in high school we decided to experiment with each other, you know touching each other. I'm pretty sure I had a crush on her. My mother walked in on us one day and my parents made sure I went to college far away from Portland and my "silly" experiment. I met Jace when he was working on one of the electrical crews that assigned to the remodel of the student dorms. He was in a bar drinking with his buddies when I was introduced by a mutual friend. He was charming, cute and funny, and by dating him I got my parents off my back. That's how I got together with him."

"Oh," was I could manage. So she was a lesbian in high school and was sent away from home. She was married, but that marriage was over. And now this confession. But there was more.

"But you know what set off Jace the night you showed up?"

"No. You never told me." So this was the night it was all going to come out. I was sitting on her bed in a cheap motel room listening to her life's story. I was now regarding her as an amazing woman trapped in a worthless marriage.

"He saw some texts on my phone, sexy ones, with our next door neighbor."

"Oh," I said again.

"We hadn't done anything. It was harmless flirting, but it could have led to something. But I think what really made him mad is that our neighbor was a divorced woman in her forties."

"Uh huh," I grunted. I knew she was telling these stories for a reason. Was she interested in me? Was I that dense?

"But Jace was jealous of everyone. It got to the point where I wasn't associating with anyone because Jace thought that I was having an affair. I wasn't, but he started calling me a whore and a slut. I know my next door neighbor was interested in me, but I never let it get beyond harmless innuendo." She took another sip of red wine from her paper cup. "And now I realize I hadn't done anything wrong. It was his paranoia, and his drinking, that pushed our marriage off the tracks. What happened with yours?"

I was so captivated by her story that her question threw me off balance. How would I summarize a ten year marriage that spiraled out of control?

"There were two major shocks to our marriage, and both of them were my fault. The biggest problem was my job. I was never at home. Ron was a good guy about it, but after years of an empty bed it naturally pulled us apart. But the second thing I did ended it. You flirted with your next door neighbor. I acted on it. I don't know why. I was always bi-curious, and my next door neighbor made no bones about being interested in me. I thought she was quite attractive, and turned out to be great in bed. Ron found out about us and I guess that was about it for our marriage."

Addie nodded her head as I spoke, soaking in each word. She pushed the plate of French fries towards me, inviting me to have the last handful. I dipped a fry in a glob of catsup on my plate and continued.

"Basically, I fucked up my life."

Addie put her hand on top of mine. Perhaps it was to reassure me, but for me it heightened the sexual tension between us. "That's not true at all Max. You do good out there. You rescued me."

I leaned back and pulled my hand away from her. I'm wasn't sure what she wanted to do, but I didn't want to take advantage of the situation. "It's funny you say that. That's what I say to myself as well. I'm doing good. But all I have to show for it is a broken marriage and a lot of empty vodka bottles. But damn you, you're one of the reasons that keeps me going. I saw a frightened woman the other night, being tormented by an abusive spouse. Now I see a confident woman, unafraid of going into uncharted waters. That makes me feel good."

"You should Max. You deserve it."

I didn't want to, but I looked at my phone to check the time. It was late, and the grind started again the next day. Rise and shine at 6 a.m. "Addie, I've got to go back to my room. Dinner was lovely. I admire how quickly you've recovered."

I got up to leave. Addie got up as well, and tried to give me a kiss on the lips. I turned my cheek and it turned into an awkward moment. Her lips brushed my cheek and then she pulled back. She got the message that this wasn't the moment. It was late ... she was under my wing, and I didn't want anyone to look back on this and conclude that somehow I had taken advantage of her. I stepped out of her room and closed the door firmly. I leaned against it and enjoyed the last lingering memory of her sexy body.

* * *

Lanny again. Crap. I was going to kill Jack when he came back. We started with coffee at Nicky's café, but the rookie managed to piss off my longtime friend. He ordered eggs over easy and when they came back a bit overcooked he had a hissy fit when I had stepped out to take a call. Nicky took offense to Lanny's tirade and somehow his eggs ended up down the front of Nicky's uniform.

"Sarge," the agitated rookie officer called out. "It wasn't like that. Yeah, I complained about the eggs. She came over and picked up my plate and started yelling at me. Then I started to get up while she tried to take the plate back so I guess my arm lifted hers and the eggs uh ... went down the front of her dress. It was kind of sexy, the eggs hanging over her tits, but yeah, she was really pissed. Sorry about that, but it was just an accident."

I knew Nicky had a temper and the story Lanny told me rung true. "Just get in the fucking car," I said. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I believed him.

More bullshit. We got another call from a business being extorted by a local gang. It was an Asian neighborhood, and the gang was mostly teenagers from Mainland China. I had to listen to a store owner rant about why he wasn't able to make a profit. I heard the squeal of tires and Lanny shouting something I couldn't understand. I ran out of the store as a car rocketed past us. Lanny pushed me hard, and I fell prone on the sidewalk. Then I heard the unmistakable burp of a semi-automatic weapon discharging in our direction. Most of the burst exploded harmlessly into the brick wall behind me. But one nicked Lanny in the arm he used to shove me. I dusted myself off and resisted the urge to chase the car, instead tending to Lanny, who was sitting on his butt on the ground, trying to apply pressure to his wound.