All Comments on 'Collective Intelligence'

What a steamy, wild ride! Nine is a crafty bitch, I wonder what her offspring will be like! 5 stars all day!!

Beautiful from start to finish. You put a lot of work into this piece and it shows! That ending was absolutely chilling and I loved your characters, as usual.

@MediocreAuthor

Thank you so very kindly MA! Definitely had enormous fun writing this one, and Nine is certainly incredibly devious. I drew a bit of inspiration from the Trickster God, Loki, in her creation. ☺️

@DBM

Why thank you darling! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! It’s venturing out of my usual category, I’m pushing myself to branch out, lately… but I can’t lie I’m glad it’s done and posted so I can get back to slaving away on TDW, Chapter 15. 😂

Wonderfully done Seraph Nocturne. Thank you. If you write another part I will return!

Inspiringly well written. Five stars :)

Collective Cognition

An ambitious work, eerie, underground, disorienting.

@Anonymous

Thank you kindly, I do have some ideas floating about continuing with this series in the future! Right now, I'm working on publication off site, and moving forward with my running series, as I do have fans who are waiting for the next chapter and this event has slowed me down significantly.

@LessThanAWord

Thank you, I certainly appreciate the feedback, and I'm glad you've enjoyed the story!

@yowser

Very kind of you to comment, your readership is most appreciated! I think your summary is hitting all the nails on the head; I was inspiring to make something a little out of the ordinary for the Geek Pride event and I'm proud of how this story turned out.

The intricacy of YOUR thought patterns is as fascinating as that your own have attributed to Nine. Hers are limited (by necessity) to what you have written upon these pages--but strongly hint at the infinite complexity a mind such as hers would contain. As a male I can only give a lifetime's testimony to the complexity which exposure to HUMAN females has demonstrated. (I say that with appreciation for the three wives I've been blessed to love, my two daughters, my two granddaughters, and my two great-granddaughters. Needless to say my exposure has literally been vast and intense--and wonderful.)

You write well and this is an outstanding creation of your creative imagination. Thank you for sharing it with us. Please give us more--and thank you.

MLJ

Good read

Loved it!

There's a really intriguing nineteen-forties noir and nineteen-fifties classic American sci-fi feel about this piece - as if atom bomb experiments are going on just down the road in Nevada, and Eisenhower is still the president. Then you add in the magnificent Nine, who is hot as fuck and worth giving up your soul for. She's got touches of Milton's serpent about her, a fallen angel.

It's one of those stories that you should leave alone in its singular glory. It's a gem, as it stands.

Nice work, Seraph Nocturne - channeling yourself, one might think ;).

(Also, EB - how cool is that, my moniker gets itself into a story. That's not happened before!)

Terrific stuff. Well thought out and written. Enjoyed very much.

Loved it, and loved that it wasn't a generic happily ever after. Well, I guess it was for her ;)

What a fantastic story! Your writing style is definitely one of the best on this whole site! I hope a second part comes soon!

Anonymous - Loved it…

Very rarely will I write generic HEAs but I think in this case Nine definitely got her’s! Thanks for reading!

.

Anonymous - What a fantastic story!

Thank you, you’re so very kind! I’m glad you enjoyed this story. While I do not yet have a sequel piece or series planned for Collective Intelligence it isn’t off the table. I DO for certain have an upcoming Event piece that will feature another member of Nine’s extraterrestrial race, albeit she isn’t one with a hive mind ability. 😊

Living at Roswell but clearly pre-dating any such incident. I wondered if Nine might be a vamp given the sharp little teeth, mind control, enthralling, underground digs. Irrespective, Des is a lucky fella - if you're going to fuck up your first job so badly, definitely a better outcome than might be expected. Enjoyable 5 stars.

This is really strong, it’s amongst the best I’ve read here.

You’ve put your own stamp on a genre that’s been tackled by so many others. Nine was written superbly and the edge that you’ve afforded her makes everything pop. Despite the obvious connection between Des and Nine at the end, it’s her edge that makes me sit up and take a breath as I contemplate the places that a being as powerful as her can take him to.

It’s just my opinion, but I really think your ability to craft that edge within your characters puts you in a wonderful place as a writer. That’s the source of so much heat within this, which you never put on the back burner for a second. It felt to me like you perfectly understood the brief of creating erotic literature, which is to arouse the reader while telling a compelling story. There’s also an unapologetic quality to your writing that I’m really taken with, which conveys how strong you are as a creator.

Only minor issues presented themselves. I’d take some time to familiarise yourself with some grammatical and formatting rules in terms of dashes, hyphens and especially numerals. It got to a point where it came across like you were guessing at what was correct. Additionally, I thought the beginning was a little dry and it stretched credulity for Des to merely pass an entrance exam for the CIA to be given access to a highly dangerous alien captive.

People will pay for work of this quality and be glad that they did so. I’ve spent years editing work from creators who make a good living who couldn’t come close to this standard on their best days. Start writing in different genres, build your audience and get yourself on multiple paid platforms. If you do, consider a rebrand with a fresh pen name as the one you’re using here is really awful. Honestly.

Be all you can be.

84/100. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

@Stacnash

Thank you for taking time to read this story and leave such a well thought out comment. I've got my gripes with this piece, primarily that I rushed through it, which isn't typically how I approach my work. I completed it in three or four days right before the deadline for the Geek Pride Event. As such, there's a lot to be desired in it as an author; particularly lost details that better explain Desmond's presence and the organization that has recruited him. Character development was also forsaken, as well as a chance to run it through my Editor before publishing. I guess hindsight is always 20/20, and I doubt any author is ever totally satisfied with their work.

.

That said, I appreciate your view on it and for noting both the positives and negatives to be found in it. I'm publishing here on Literotica for little more than pleasure, so 'seraph_nocturne' is far more a screen name than it is a pen name. When I do make my way into the mainstream world, I'll very likely assume a proper nom de plume of my given name, which would certainly have charm as an Erotica author.

Very interesting. Plenty of writers out there specialize in what I would call "sapiosexual heroines seduced by higher beings" but there is very little equivalent of the same trope for males of our species (they don't know what they are missing if you ask me). We really are wired differently. ;)

When it comes to this story, I'll choose to believe this creature will treat our poor spy with compassion and that she's more into symbiosis than mental predation.

This is awesome! The tone is nice and creepy and the voice feels very polished. And Nine is delightfully feminine and sexy while also threatening and predatory. Loved the shared dreaming.

I am overwhelmed with both the depth of power nine possesses, as well as the seamless way you have chosen to reveal it. I am a fan of stories containing powerful creatures. Their Introduction generally includes a visual description, and a list of abilities. An alternative approach is the character performs, some feat, and then they are described.

I cannot recall ever gradually appreciating the abilities through the story alone. I don’t know if this experience is my alone, or if others experience it similarly. I would just like to say thank you very much for the opportunity to experience your skill.

@TalkSexyToMe2029 - I agree wholeheartedly, and though I threw this story together rapidly for an event I really enjoyed exploring the shift of power dynamic. I've got templates to keep this going, and detail it prior to Nine's arrival at Roswell, but it's on the back burner given my original intention of making this a standalone. The characters of course are phenomenal--particularly Nine so I feel it would be a disservice to not feature her in another work or two.

.

@djrip - Seriously glad you enjoyed it, and thanks so much for making time to read! <3

.

@1inquiringmind - I like to weave an air of mystery to my characters, especially beings like Nine who are detailed as fearsome and otherworldly... to give her limitless potential while still making her tangible, and not overbearingly powerful, did prove a challenge. But it seems overall her rather intoxicating presentation played off well, and I'm always happy to hear this piece was enjoyed for being so rushed and last minute as it was. :) Thank you for your kind words and thoughts!

With a bit of time and focus, I'll have more of this style of story to offer you all in the future.