All Comments on 'College Bounded'

I see you still think you don't need an editor. I stopped reading before the end of the first paragraph.

I assume you meant extramarital, not extra marshal (not a thing by the way). Either way, you are still wrong. Extramarital relations is defined as sexual intercourse between a married person and someone who is not his or her spouse. This does not include premarital sex.

That being said, the title was bad enough. What does college bounded mean? Probably meant college bound. One of many mistakes that could have been fixed if you had used an editor.

I know you're capable of writing a decent story: I've read some of your stories that were pretty good. But this is just so ...sloppy. So ...clumsy. Not just grammatical errors of spelling or punctuation (although those problems do exist), but the story itself. There's suspension of disbelief and then there's ...this. The premise is so shaky that it's dangerously near collapse. The backstory is lame. The dialog is awkward and unrealistic. The characters are BARELY developed, practically one-dimensional constructs who just don't interest the reader, and the central character seems to be struggling to sound "profound", but just comes off as out of touch. Like, maybe he has Asperger's Syndrome? Or maybe he'd be "more interesting" than he is, if he did?

As it is, this story was not sufficiently erotic or entertaining to trudge through four typed pages of it. In other words, by reading this failed attempt at profundity, I've wasted my time.

The first time they assaulteded hymn me choose to run for the exit

Men if that's what you think, then why do you keep reading my stories?

Come on you anony lot. This is a fantasy not a documentary. ease up a bit.

So what's coming up next. What's up with the sliver wind story.

Yet they don't take no for no answer or know of the tragedy he he faced in africa so how well do they know him

The mother and sister knew something bad happen to him, maybe not what specifically . In the end the sister proved her feelings for him. The big question is what will the dad do ? It had me worried in spots, but, it came together in the end. Another GREAT STORY. Thank You.

Interesting story. Please expand me to know what happens next

People continue to read your stories, because you usually create interesting plots and hot sexual scenarios. However, you don't utilize an editor, and you leave gaping plot holes. For instance, his mother and sister rape him and he runs away. His pastor confuses him more, so he goes and gets drunk. Yet, after his family rapes him again, he is suddenly "Yes let's marry! That will make everything A-OK!"

I love these types of stories where the son has to come around or not to the families way of life. I have read 23 of your stories and want, no need more.

the story is this writers style that is quite intriguing since it is loaded with strong emotions don't be confused by things the story has just remember that he was struggling with arousal that has been edging him for about a month so he was ready to crack but his own guilt was holding him back but his experiences weakened his moral fiber to the point where he was open to new ideas and was able to get on board with this new lifestyle the only confusing thing is the title because college is hardly mentioned

You need to fire them instead (tho I'm glad you finally relented and used one)

There are SO many grammatical, spelling and continuity errors that I can't believe ANY editor that actually comprehends the use of the English Language admits to working on this pile of dung

As to why we keep reading your work?

Because you spin a fine tale. You just suck horribly at the way you tell it

this could've been a great story.

a lot of story to be told. yet you made a long stroker story out of it. SAD.

you could've told extensively about the peace corps.

the story between pastor beverly and him and beverly and his family. you hinted a lot of plot lines and independent storylines you could've worked in into paragraphs to bring out more detail to the story.

confusing storyline in the morning when he ran away, church, somewhat readily eat beverly out but minutes/hour before he freaked out (okay sis&mom), bringing in Pamela without any reason at all. you also just could've said he stranded in a bar and they knew him/his family and just called them. Pamela or the bar would've been the same result and not deepen the story any bit, same shallow mentioning.

so they have sex and she confesses love for him and all of a sudden from panic and freaking out he just readily agrees? never before in the story mentioned before that he loves her or any bit in that direction. oh yea never thought of loving you even a minute before but now yea lets marry and oh yea just right away call beverly and get married.

wtf??

oh yea there's one little paragraph about him wanting to go to college, afterwards no more word of it. Title completely misleading.

Wished you would've chosen another topic, storyline and thought and characters for your stroker story. because this would've had A LOT of potential. you sadly misused it.

another writer would've taken the story into the Hall of Fame Section of Incest/Taboo.

When the story started to get good after Matthew got plastered I thought it should have been Olivia who devirginized her Brother instead of Mom,since it was obvious Olivia was the one who was in love with Matthew,and personally I think all Sibling Incest,especially Older Sister/Younger Brother types should have the Sister take their Brothers Cherry,it makes it so much more special.

As for Olivia,Mom,and Matthew admittedly them having Matthews babies is both excellent and upsetting,mainly because Mom was carrying her Sons baby which also makes that his brother or sister and Mom's grandbaby and so forth.As for Dad being mad that Matthew got Mom pregnant I think they should talk about it and accept the second baby into the family because even tho Jakes wife is having it doesn't mean they can't spoil the baby like a grandchild,which to any outsider who is gonna know except Matthew,Olivia,Mom,and Dad?.

Now the most memorable part I thought was when Olivia was in Matthews bedroom and confessed she was madly in love with Matthew and regretted she couldn't be with him forever without complications,and Matthew they get Married and started calling Beverly to ask her if she could marry both Matthew and Olivia right then,and she did,while getting ready to hopefully concieve their first baby.That to me was the most beautiful part of the story,and both Olivia and Matthew became parents to their own baby sister which shouldn't be any other way so the family line can continue with them.Truly Excellent Story Totally.

Olivia was so in love with Matthew but when dad came home she jumps up and runs over to him and starts to suck him off? Really? I hate when writers do stupid shit like that. If she wants to fuck other guys have say that and not shit like this pussy is only for you...and daddy....and uncle nick.....and the paper boy.....and Steve next door. Stopped reading when dad came home. Poor Matthew got dads sloppy seconds from mom, sis and even the youth pastor. How about you write a story where your MC doesn't get other guys' broke in whores or have to share.

I have to agree with Joshuad2477s. I would like to see a story with a strong willed lead character that doesn't cave or take sloppy seconds.

just as expected a great story. would have loved to see what happened with mom and dad with that little info at the end. but overall great story man.

First great story, but it's okay for Olivia to run off any girl that comes across Matthew's way. But she can go and fuck any Tom, Dick and Harry or Jake. That's some love she has for Matthew. Now to know what happens when Jake finds out his wife is pregnant. Fingers crossed for another chapter.

Mmmm i love and hate you. About half your stories are amazing then the other half start off amazing and then go sideways and off the rails. Others have said it but I'll say it also. The main character is a tool. A jealous sister so in love she drives of all other girls but as soon as she's got her brother where she wants him she literally runs off and fucks someone else with all three holes basically right in front of him. Oh and then he marries her. Someone who had no love for her other then as a brother up until that point. Come on

I hate that I need to explain this the whiners below but it was said during the first four person sex scene that Olivia loved both her brother and father but that they were different types as for her father she loved him and enjoyed expressing it in a sexual manner but that she is not in love with him while she is totally in love with her brother and wants to be everything to him her interactions with her mother and father are not going to detract from how she feels about her brother

Really good story that would have been better without the father, Jake. The Jake/Oliva relationship going forward needs to get explained in the next chapter.

How can Jake be afraid of impregnating Olivia as stated while he was fucking her anally and having a vasectomy as stated with Nancy stating Jake wasn't the father of her unborned child?? Other than that, you ARE in my top 3 writers on this webpage. Great job on your storylines.

Background would have been nice.we just get kid coming back from Africa to an incest fuck fest he wanted no part of to ok I married my sister and have kids

“She had even joined them when Jake was still in town.“ just now she said noone has fucked her in this town and now she implies she join the mom sis and Jake? Or?

“Fucking stupid that the father fucks olivia infront of a reluctant intoxicated Mathew…especially how she loves his bigger cock and how much more he is attuned to her.. shes been at matthew for a month and now the dad shows up and she leaves her brother and runs for him begging.

“ However, she didn't know if this would draw their son closer to them or push him farther away.” yes throw your virgin son into a crazy incest group fuck where anal and bigger dick is in play plus the women who supposedly loves him is with another for his first time sex experience all while he is intoxicated…. I hope he gets farther away from them.. i mean he did try to run like crazy away from them and now theyre doing even worse things.

Olivia did love her brother she just loved getting fucked. If she truly loved him she would have probably waited and gave her virginity to him and not her father especially I know she didn't love him when there father was in the door way she just up and ignored her brother she also didn't argue with her mother to take his virginity. 2 star

at least the sex scenes in his old stories are good

His new ones are better written over all but the lack of explicit fucking is a bit of an downer on an page like lit...

ruined it by having jake fuck the daughter

An off the wall family. A sequel would be interesting...

Sure it was a letdown that the Dad fucked Olivia but thankfully only in her ass and not in her pussy who Olivia was saving that for her brother Matthew specifically so I can excuse that.

Olivia may have enjoyed getting fucked by her Dad but from her perspective she really did fall in love with Matthew and even married him the first time he was inside her.Also the Woman Preacher advising Matthew to have sex with his Mom and Sister was beautiful and sweet,and for her to join them in their incestuous family was just awesome,and how she Married Matthew and Olivia over the phone was even better.

Now I think if they could just get rid of Dad then Matt,Mom,Olivia,and Preacher Woman could have a wonderful incestual life together and Matt could get all 3 of them pregnant and have a house full of children to love.

In my last comment I stated Olivia hadn't let her Father fuck her pussy,but I was wrong,apparently Olivia let her Dad fuck both her pussy and ass,but I'm sure both Jake and Olivia agreed not to cum in Olivia's pussy to ensure she could guarantee she got pregnant by the man she loves,namely her brother Matthew.

Now for the whole incest bond including the Pastor Beverly it was surprising,but also sweet as hell,and the way she just married Matthew to his sister Olivia no questions asked was so awesome,but the question remains if Beverly could become Matthew and Olivia's unofficial Sister and also if she could get Matthew to get her pregnant also and they all become One Big Incestuous Family with Matt's Daughters if he manages to knock up Beverly?

I get it was fan requested that's cool and everyone has there fantasy however in my opinion it was too far bringing the dad in I thought the mom and daughter were only ones having a sexual relationship to start with and they wanted to bring the kid in

Other than as the story for most part was good just that 1 thing I didn't like too much

The story lacked in context and development with too many inferred directions.

The intro of the husband for roughly a para?

The pastor intro and was it travels overseas, that was confusing as to significance of what occurred precisely.

I appreciate the work you put into the story but find it difficult to rate as it feels incomplete.