tagHumor & SatireCollege Lineup, Too!

College Lineup, Too!


"Okay, students," the gym coach said. "Please line up according to size."

The guys scrambled around unsure of what to do.

"Professor?" the students inquired. "What do you mean by size? There is height, weight and you know..."

"Discuss among yourselves what kind of line you want to form guys," said the professor.

The guys fiddled about, scrambled around and finally formed a line. There were tall guys next to short guys, heavy guys next to thinner guys, a lot of joking around and laughing.

"I see!" said the Professor. "Okay, girls, come on in now."

The girls looked around and wondered what was going on. The guys were all lined up straight across the classroom.

"Welcome to Human Sexuality 101! Today, we will discuss anatomy."

The girls all laughed. What was going on here?

"Men, remember your places. You will need to form this line again soon."

"Women, pick your favorite number from four to ten and form groups according to numbers, please?" asked the professor.

The girls gathered amongst each other. "Well, there are four in my family, so I guess that's my favorite number," said Sara. "I consider myself a number 10, so I'll pick that number," said Joan. "Hmmmmm," said Linda. "I've always liked the number 7 for luck."

"Alright, students," stated the professor. "Girls, line up with your same numbers that you picked. Gentlemen, and you know who you are, join the girls that picked the same number as you."

"But, professor," asked Sara. "The guys didn't pick numbers, did they?"

"They were born with numbers, Sara. You'll understand shortly," stated the professor.

"Groups, please form now. Let's have fours over there, fives over there, follow the routine.

Gentlemen, if you need to change your number, that's okay with me. But, the exam won't be until next week, so it's up to you."

The girls and guys all mixed with each other and gathered around sitting at rectangular tables next to each other.

"Girls, pick a partner in your group. You may have to double up. Get out your rulers please. Lesson number one. Rulers never lie."

"Guys, please unzip your pants," said the professor.

The girls started hissing among themselves.

"Girls, you're in Human Sexuality 101. If you're going to be embarrassed learning about sex, I suggest you join another class. Professor Kilden is teaching knitting next door, if you prefer."

NONE of the girls moved.

"Good, let's get started then. Take out your rulers and men without arousing yourself, let your partner measure you non-erect penis."

The men laughed. "Oh, that's a joke professor. What's that going to prove?"

"Exactly nothing, men," said the professor.

"Girls write down your measurement, your partner's name, and I'll see you next week. Observation is your first lesson."

Everyone left the room laughing...except the guys.

"We'll show them next week what we really have," bragged the guys exiting the classroom. Week Two

"Students, form the same groups as last week," requested the professor.

The professor looked around and some of the girls didn't have partners. "Guys, I said for the same groups. Girls, get out you notes from last week."

As the girls fumbled for their notes, the guys started to shift to the correct groups.

"Caught," the guys whispered to themselves.

Let's clear up that the length of a penis is typically measured with a man standing and the penis held parallel to the floor. Size of your organ should be measured horizontally along the top of the penis from the base to the tip.

"Girls, get out your rulers. Now don't be surprised but there will be growth in these men's penis' – Men, unzip your pants and let the girls see you before and afterwards," requested the professor.

The guys unzipped their pants. The girls remeasured the before.

Giggles filled the room.

"Now, girls, if you have a little experience, feel free to help and guys show the other gals how," said the professor.

The guys followed the instructions unzipping their pants. Each guy started masturbating and yelling, "Grab the ruler!"

The girls began to measure.

Some girls were a little more engrossed fondling each guy's penis.

Blushing was overflowing. Gasps filled the room. One female student even screamed, "He's more than 10 inches."

"Oops," said a few guys. "Sorry Professor, I came a little prematurely."

"Just clean up after yourselves," asked the professor.

The male and female students began exchanging phone numbers. The lesson was successful.

"Students, next week's topic will be about cumming. And for your homework...."

The students departed, grinning ear to ear.

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bypeppermintpatty2006© 2 comments/ 20983 views/ 2 favorites

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