by ukresearcher
What a twisted little story.....especially the surprise ending. But, now what?
as a set up. Good writing, good suspense, good detail, nice other characters, (especially Melanie) but it was all a set up and it will be impossible to come to a decision about whether to beat the crap out of Bill, forgive Gloria or even know if she was a cheater the first time. Anyhow, a "5" because of UKResearcher's consistently high quality of work.
Really well structured. I was afraid of the ending being too heavy, in a way it was a last minute reprieve.... Perhaps he should fail to enter into the original pattern or go looking for Melanie......
and a good read. Nice twist at the end. However, this story begs for continuation, at least for me. Please consider a chapter 2. Thanks for your hard work.
Woodmanone
Precise words fail me at this moment. The best analogy that comes to mind is that feeling you have driving down the road and a oncoming car crosses the double line heads directly for you then somehow veers off at last fraction of second. Full marks !
Well-written, interesting point of view, would have made a good episode on an R-rated version of "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" (with the sexual elements implied) although an adjustment would have to be made to the protagonist's condition to accomodate the visual aspect of television. That being said, although this is good "Lit", it's not much in the "Erotica" department.
I come here to read literate EROTICA, not plain ol' literature-with-a-sexual-element in it! The descriptions of what the nurse does for the protagonist hardly makes up for the overall paucity of an erotic tone in this story. On that basis, I only gave it two stars. If this was a "Lit" site, without an emphasis on erotica, I would give it five stars. But I wouldn't be visiting such a site, so ....
Also, I agree it is twisted and almost a horror story about a man still alive being harvested for his body parts. That doesn't fit the discription of "Loving wives." Therefore, even though it is creative and well written, I could only rate it 3 stars.
Of your stories so far. Not as dark, or tortuous, and the wife has at least some redeeming qualities. Thanks for writing.
if you cant respond you are bound to cease. TK U MLJ LV NV
this is Just vile. Not wonder the UK is 3rd power.
CONSIDER the father 's advice
The son's s father sees his own son lying in coma with has his head cut open for brain swelling which happened because the son came home early and found her fucking the son's Boss... and he ran off so fast in the car that the son may have either TRIED to kill himself or ou of control with rage
and the father says dont throw a good marriage?
LOL... ROTLOL...LOL... ROTFLMAO.... I am laughing so hard I gotta go pee!
tell me dad is that advice still good from the wheel chair ?
Nicely written...but the ending? Rotten, miserable, The story is set up for an emotional explosion, but it never can happen . The reader is left with nothing but the fragments of a dream.
A sad ending, but a cleverly conceived story that is very well written.
I definitely did not see that coming. My quandary is: should I ask ukresearcher to write a follow up or just leave us all hanging? Well written and highly entertaining.
a uk researcher yarn that didn't make me gag! I liked it. Don't sequal it. The ending is superb and should be left as is. I just hope the protag has the common scense to hire someone to mug Bill before he can make a play for Gloria.
Shitty, zweibeck, commercial ending...but such a wonderful beginning. The author could have gone real dramatic and had the protagonist killed, or a Christmas ending and he recovers.,.either of these scenarios, and the author can give all his characters a proper "burial", redemption, revenge, etc. With this ending...just a smelly fart. Nonetheless, 95%, a terrific, well written and plotted original story. Alas and alack.
I wonder if he will go to the hospital and see if there is a nurce named Melanie?
I liked the twist. Wonder if he ends up going on the trip and changes the wheels of fate...
As usual in stories by this author, the male lead character is weak (paralyzed) and can do nothing to interfere with the events (cheating wife and man who is stealing her). Never mind it was all a bad dream, it looks as if it's going to come true. The story was well-written, but there really was no eroticism. A nurse molesting an almost dead individual -- pretty sick and horrible. And of course, it would be impossible because a man in such a coma, on a respirator breathing for him, would certainly have a urinary catheter through his penis. Oral sex on a penis with a catheter? Yuck. Disgusting, not erotic. One star, it's the least I could give.
Will he really go on his trip, or will he check to see if what he thinks is going on,and check in on his wife in order to catch them.
After all the dream may have been a premonition of what was going to happen.
Thanks for the read
You had brought the story to a point of great dramatic possibilities, then wimped out at the last moment, taking the EASY non-imaginative route to a quick ending, & then your attempt at humor only added insult to his non-injury.
I know it's not up to me to tell an author how to end his/her story, but boo hoo, I was actually disappointed to have it just be a dream! I would rather he wake up to a nearly full recovery because of Melanie's "help."
The story was well done, artfully covering the conventions of the LW category along
with the fantasies of dirty fourteen year old boys that many of us entertain, and all in the service of setting up the spectacular joke of the ending.
At least it's spectacular if you have a warped sense of humor, which I apparently do, along with a willing suspension of disbelief, which I seemed to have to the very end. Definitely a 5.
Great story, very well done. I was there with you until nearly the end-didn't expect it to be a dream, but wasn't bothered by that. Kept feeling 'what if it wasn't a dream?' But I guess that's the point, isn't it?
Getting me all invested, hanging on every sentence, only to play the Dallas card?!?!
Bullshit
This began as an incredibly inventive story. Steve's confusion. The one-sided conversations with visitors. The revelations from each. Golden storytelling opportunities missed.
To reduce all that to a mere dream with a rushed unsatisfying ending was very disappointing.
when trying to prove a dream, TK U MLJ LV NV
when an author is so out of ideas, or simply will not stand by what he has written, that he resorts to such a weak and over used plot device such as 'It was all a dream'. He may as well have ended with the line; "I'm so unsure of myself as a writer, and have so little confidence in my abilities, that I have to cover myself with this dream crap, in order to protect myself from criticism!"
His leads are always so incredibly passive and clueless that I knew they must have been braindead.
he'd kicked Bill's ass. On general principles.
SANDBAGGED-YES!!!
Husband knows wife cheated at party
Dream was premonition
Warning!!!
Best he pretend to leave then lie in wait!!!
When I was 16, I fell off some monkey bars at school, hit my head on the floor. I was in a coma for 28 days. The bad part is lying there, family, friends, medical, they all talk like the person lying there is an object. Back in those days, no one knew much about brain waves.
I heard every single word, remember it all. It is amazing what people say and do when they do not think you can hear them.
Yours stories or at least the one's I've read, have been satire which I happen to like for a change. Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates this form of writing and I think it affects your score. I'm giving this one four stars.
Actually liked this one.
***** to encourage others
Was it a premonition, or just a bad dream? Sad story, but compelling.
And since i saw the letters UK in your name, we can all guess he'll be cucked while he's gone. He'll come back and find he's "hard" while she tells him how big and hard Bill is, and how he touches her in places he never can, but she loves him, and she and Bill bought a doghouse to put out back for him to live in once Bill moves into the Master bedroom. But she'll still be his loving wife until they grow old and die.
Sound about right? Cuz you UK guys are bigger cucks than Conservatives in the US are. And thats pretty bad.