Come As You Are Ch. 15

"I'm strongly considering picking up the habit but right now I'm clean and sober. It happened four years ago. The dynamic between the three of us didn't seem to change."

"It was a one-time thing. Gio and I went to Pike's a few days later and ended up laughing about it. It was a perfect storm of beer, hormones, and not having seen each other in a long time. I haven't had the urge to sleep with him since that night, and I don't think he has either." She offered him a weary sigh. "I was honestly afraid you'd get upset for keeping it a secret."

"How could I get upset when I've kept huge secrets from you and Gio for ten years?" He smiled. "If anything, I'm glad that after the past two weeks you still felt comfortable enough telling me."

"Comfortable enough? I almost peed my panties from terror."

His chuckle drew a smile from his friend across the way. "I'm cool. I'm going to fuck with Gio when we go back downstairs, but I'm cool. Besides, I plowed your girlfriend. I say we're even."

"For the record," Vienna said as she got to her feet, "she wasn't my girlfriend when you plowed her. She was someone I saw naked on a semi-frequent basis."

"Duly noted. A little help?" Garrett held his hand out towards Vienna who helped pull him to his feet. "One question though," he said. "I get why you'd look at Gio and say 'why the hell not.' Have you ever looked at me and thought the same thing?"

"No. Two decades of friendship Garrett, and not once, even when you were stark naked in front of me. I know way too much about you and you know way too much about me. I love you. I've loved you since we were kids. But I've never been in love or lust with you."

He put out his hands and threw a goofy smile on his face. "So what you're saying is, no chance of a threesome between you, me, and Colette."

"I know you're joking, but I'm still going to say 'oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck no,'" Vienna smiled back. "Seriously though. I love you, Garrett Temple West."

"And I love you too, Vienna Marie Polley."

"Alright, let's get back to the gym before we start hugging this out. People are probably starting to worry."

Garrett glanced around the empty hallway. "I'm gonna wander for a bit first. There's no one else around so this might be a good opportunity to exorcise some old ghosts. And you should hash things out with Gio and Colette."

"I know," she sighed. "Just don't get lost in the past." Stepping forward, Vienna placed her forehead against Garrett's. "There's a lot of stuff getting dug up tonight, and once the reunion's over we're going to focus on the future. You, me, Gio, Colette, and who knows who else?"

"Got it." Garrett lightly bonked his head against Vienna's, drawing a laugh from both of them. "Text me if I'm gone too long."

"Will do. And Garrett? Thanks for coming after me."

"You're welcome." Garrett smiled before turning away and heading down the hallway, whistling quietly, while Vienna made her way towards the stairwell leading back to the ground floor.

X X X X X

"You look nice."

"Thanks," Brenda replied to Danny. "So do you."

Danny looked out over the gymnasium. "I think everyone from our class is here except for Anne Jackson and Owen Dunbar. I haven't seen them yet."

"Don't know about Anne but Owen's in the Air Force," Brenda said. "He sent a little Skype video to Kim Ellis. She's going to play it later on, I think."

"Oh. Cool. I didn't know he enlisted."

Brenda and Danny sat side-by-side on the lowest level of the bleachers that ran along one side of the gymnasium. Danny had directed Brenda to the furthest set of bleachers, which sat isolated from the rest of the reunion. Upon arrival, he had reached underneath and pulled only the bottom row free from where it had been locked. "This one never locked right," he told Brenda when they sat down.

She studied her ex-boyfriend. He had grown up since the last time she had seen him in person. A little taller, fitter, leaner, and somehow more muscular than he appeared on television. He was every inch the superstar that his mental skills and physical gifts had set him upon since childhood. Hands clasped between his knees, Danny's gaze wandered around the gymnasium, taking in his old stomping grounds from his perch on the bleachers.

"What's it like being back?" she asked, trying to break the nervous tension.

"It smells the same," he answered. "Every basketball court has its own scent, its own presence. New Orleans smells like a swamp, San Antonio smells like a rodeo, and Boston smells layers and layers of varnish. So does this place, but it's fresh varnish mixed with pine trees. As soon as I smell it, it's like I never left."

"I get," Brenda said. "Kitchens are the same way."

"Did you ever end up becoming a professional chef?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"You were so dedicated to becoming a chef. I'm glad to hear it worked out for you."

"Thanks. Same for you... Salt Lake City right?"

"Got drafted by the Gulls right out of college," he confirmed. "Been there for six years, two more to go. I'd like to stay there longer, my entire career if I could swing it. Salt Lake is a great city and the new owner of the team is dedicated to making us contenders. There's a good chance we'll make some noise in the playoffs this year... heh." Danny smiled. "I promised Tyler I'd keep the basketball talk to a bare minimum while I'm here."

"Well, I'm happy for you. You worked hard and I'm glad it's paying off for you."

"Thanks." He took a deep breath. "I'm going to just come right out and say it. I'm sorry I hurt you, Brenda. There's a bunch of stuff I want to say to you. I've been going over and over it in my head since I got into town." He offered her a nervous smile. "Is it OK if... you don't have to hear it if you don't want to."

"Go ahead, Danny. I'm listening."

"I think about you a lot," Danny told her. "I think about the good times we had together, but mostly I think about how I hurt you. How I lied to you, how I lied to Anne about you and me, how I talked about you behind your back, how I treated you when we broke up. You didn't deserve any of it. I've got a long list of reasons and excuses in my head, but that doesn't justify how I acted. I was young, cocky, arrogant, and stupid. I hurt a lot of people, and I feel like I may have hurt you most of all."

He turned, looking Brenda directly in the eyes. "I apologize for any pain and misery I put you through. You didn't deserve it. You deserved much better than what you got from me. I'm sorry, Brenda. I hope that someday you can forgive me for what I did."

Brenda studied Danny. The confidence was still there, but it was the confidence that came with plowing ahead with a difficult task, the same confidence she remembered seeing in Danny anytime he went for a game-winning shot. However, his eyes sparkled with worry and his hands were tightly interwoven between his knees. He didn't flinch or try to add to and expound on what he had just said. Simple. Direct. Basic, with just a hint of emotion and a generous helping of regret, lightly glazed with the puppy dog look she knew too well.

Brenda weighed Danny's words as he silently looked at her, waiting for some kind of reaction. "Why now?" she finally asked. "Ten years, Danny. Ten years. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. I know you and I have both been back in town at the same time a couple of times. Why this particular moment?"

"I wasn't ready until now," he answered. "It's easy to say things over the Internet when you have time to consider what you're saying and you don't have to worry about repercussions. It takes courage to apologize in person, courage that shows you mean it."

He looked out towards center court, which was currently by the first few of their classmates brave enough or drunk enough to dance. "Entitled attitudes are a bitch to lose. I thought I had gotten rid of mine, but coming back here this morning I realized there's still a couple of seconds left on the clock. Tonight's pretty much been shaking someone's hand and offering an apology. A couple of people were like Gio - smiled, nodded, and said they had forgotten everything. Some didn't even go that far, just said everything was cool and that they were happy to see me." He sighed as he pointed towards the gym doors. "And then... I knew Vienna would be pissed, but... I guess I hurt her. I don't blame her at all."

Danny turned to look at her. "You and Anne Jackson are the big ones for me. You're the two people I've hurt the most in my life. I... I'm glad you're doing well in your life Brenda, and I hope you can accept my apology. I was wrong about everything. You deserved better when we dated."

Brenda nodded. "Before I accept your apology, Danny, I have one question. Why did you cheat on me with Anne? You got jealous sometimes, but I had no idea you and I were having any kind of problems. I thought things were great. Did I do something wrong?"

"Nope." Danny tapped his chest with two fingers. "That was all me. I thought I could get away with it. I had girls flirting with me all the time, but Anne... I knew she was easy. She knew I knew she was easy. With you I had dates. You cooked dinner all the time, and you... lit up a room when you walked into it. Anne? Sex. Forbidden, under the table, 'our little secret' sex, but I led her on about all the other stuff, the promise of dates, dinner, all that. And I lied to her about you, told her you were a spiteful bitch who wouldn't let me break up with you... oh, Christ. And then when being with Anne became routine, I hooked up with Amy behind her back so I could experience the same thrill." His head fell into his hands. "Amy Yates. I have no idea how to have that conversation..."

She reached out. Brenda lightly rubbed Danny's back in a way that, ten years later, was still familiar to both of them. "I accept your apology Danny... and I forgive you. I can see you're trying to be a better person. Your words aren't just lip service. That means something to me. I can't forget the past, but I appreciate that you realized how much you hurt me."

He looked up at her with a smile that slightly warmed Brenda's heart with a spark of nostalgia. "So, Colette and Vienna. I couldn't help notice while they were arguing... are they together? Like, the dating kind of together?"

"Yeah, they are. Just started dating this week."

"What about Michelle and Sadie? How are they doing?"

"Sadie's still Sadie. She's doing her video game thing and plans to ride that roller coaster for as long as she can. And Michelle in Telluride as a private ski instructor." Brenda nodded with her head towards the basketball team's table. "And you're still friends with Tyler?"

"He's the angel on my shoulder," Danny laughed, "just like always. I hung out with him all afternoon. He was the one who convinced me to make whatever simple amends I could tonight."

"Good for you, Danny. I'm glad things have worked out for you and that you're working on yourself."

"Thank you. OK... just have to wait for Anne Jackson and apologize to her, and then I can sit back and enjoy the reunion," he chuckled. "You two are the big apologies I needed to make." He put a hand against his chest as he blew out another deep sigh. "I feel a lot less nervous now."

"Me and Anne? We're the only apologies you're making?"

"The only big ones. I've got tons of little ones, but you two were the ones that were always on my mind. And I should apologize to Amy, but I have no idea how to go about doing it."

"What about Garrett?"

"What about him?"

"Aren't you going to apologize to him?"

"Why would I?"

Danny had held his hands loosely between his legs. Now, however, they were firmly clenched, squeezed tightly as the mere mention of his high school target's name. "Where is he anyway?" Danny looked up, turning his head as he tried to catch a glimpse of Garrett. "I don't see him. Probably went after Vienna. I swear, he always followed her around like a lost puppy..."

"Why won't you apologize to him? You put him through more hell in high school than anyone else."

"So what?" Danny spat back. Brenda shook her head, staring at her ex-boyfriend in disbelief. "I'm sorry," he told her, "but why do you care? I... wait, he was sitting next to you earlier, wasn't he?" Danny unintentionally barked with laughter. "Don't tell me he's still sniffing around you!"

"I care because one of my best friends is dating one of his best friends. So I'm probably going to be around Garrett a good bit."

He took several deep breaths before meeting Brenda's eyes. "I can't apologize to him," he told her. "I promised Tyler I'd get through tonight without talking to West. Just seeing him with Evelyn, I could feel that old hatred bubbling up inside of me. It's best for both me and him if we stay the hell away from each other tonight. Look, you accepted my apology, let's just..."

"And I'm taking it back." She nodded firmly, cutting Danny off as he tried to protest. "I'm not going to accept your apology until you tell me what the hell Garrett did to you that you can't even hear his name without getting pissed off." Brenda leaned back against the bleachers, arms still crossed, staring firmly at her ex-boyfriend. "I want to know what Garrett did to you, Danny. No bullshit, no talking your way out of it. Spill."

Danny shook his head. His lower lip quivered as he began talking. "I owed you an apology, Brenda. I don't owe you an explanation. West and I were at each other's throats throughout high school. You don't forgive that kind of thing easily."

"No, YOU don't forgive that kind of thing easily, Danny. You've never been able to let a grudge go. Garrett was never at your throat. Like you said, he was a lost puppy most of the time. You always instigated, and the handful of times he pushed back, you escalated."

"No, I defended myself. There's a difference."

"After the blizzard, when Garrett and I were talking about our History project? You were choking him against a locker and when he got free... talk about sucker punching someone, you put him in a headlock and kept clocking him right in the nose. It sounded like a can of tomato paste being thrown off a rooftop! And graduation? Sadie told us that YOU were going to Gio's house to jump Garrett and he and Sadie ran away!"

"Yeah, graduation night, when the bastard tried to dislocate my shoulder. If he had just... look, why are we talking about West? You see how worked up I'm getting over the guy."

"You owe him an apology. You tortured him for all of high school. You hurt him worse than anybody. Even me." It was her turn to sigh as she deliberated her next few words. "Garrett's still afraid of you, Danny. He wasn't going to show up tonight until he heard you were supposed to be on the East Coast. When you walked through those doors, he almost had a panic attack. All Garrett wanted was for you to leave him alone. Didn't you ever notice that he only lashed out when you pushed him too far?"

"Well," Danny said coldly, "if he kept his mouth shut and didn't fight back, I wouldn't have been so hard on him."

Brenda's response was equally frigid. "That's abuser talk, Danny. That's exactly what abusers say about their victims. That they deserved what came to them."

"Then what didn't you do anything about it? Or Michelle, since she was always looking to take a swing at me. Or anyone else for that matter not named Gio or Vienna?"

"Why? Because I think they were glad it wasn't them. You were an asshole and people around here were happy you took your issues out on Garrett and not them." As Danny stared down at the hardwood floor of the gymnasium he spent four years of his life in, Brenda reached out and gently squeezed his knee. "You sound like you've changed, Danny. You do. But you're still stubborn. When something's your fault, you come up with a reason that it isn't your fault, and you stick to it. If you're going to admit to your mistakes, you don't get to pick and choose which ones."

There it was. The puppy dog eyes and the telltale sigh. "You're right," he said quietly. "I was an asshole. But I can't apologize to him, Brenda. I won't. Every time my shoulder flares up, it's because of him. I can avoid him for the rest of the night, and I won't start something if he doesn't. That's the best I can offer."

After a moment's hesitation, she reached over to give him a loose hug. "I'm glad you're doing well Danny. And I accept your apology." Danny returned her hug before Brenda stood up and headed back towards her table, where Sadie, Colette, Michelle, and Gio had been joined by Evelyn.

"Everything OK?" Michelle asked as Brenda sat down.

"I need a freakin' drink." Brenda immediately reached for her wine glass and proceeded to down the remaining red liquid in one smooth, fluid gulp.

"I am guessing Daniel's attempt to apologize did not resonate with you," Evelyn quietly proclaimed.

"It did and it didn't. He apologized for cheating on me with Anne Jackson along with generally being a jerk." Brenda glanced over her shoulder. Danny was heading towards the bartender, chugging his bottle of Budweiser. "Then I asked him if he was going to apologize to Garrett. Let's just say that apology isn't in the cards this evening." A sigh escaped from her lips as Brenda turned back to look at her friends. "Where is Garrett, anyway?"

"He went after Vienna," Gio said. "They probably went to get some fresh air. Let me text them, see where they are."

Brenda brushed an errant strand of blonde hair away from her ear. "You should probably warn them that Danny's worked up right now. He might go off if he lays eyes on Garrett... oh, speak of the devil and she shall appear."

Gio had been looking down at his smartphone. At Brenda's words, he looked over his shoulder to see Vienna coming through the gymnasium door. "Hey Gio," Vienna said as she came up to the table. "Can I get a hug?"

Varying levels of curious reactions came from the young women gathered around the table as Gio stood up. Without a word, he opened his arms to his best friend. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said as he embraced her tightly in return. "It's not my place to tell you whose apology to accept. Your feelings, your choice. Just because I'm a cold-hearted bitch doesn't mean you need to be too."

"You are not a cold-hearted bitch Vienna." Gio leaned down and gently kissed the top of her head. "You're a passionate young woman who's fierce in defending her friends. It's why you're my best friend, and it's one of the reasons I love you." Vienna murmured as she squeezed Gio tightly. "And to make it official," he added, "apology accepted."

After an affectionate nod and one more firm squeeze Vienna let Gio go. "And I'm sorry too," she told Colette. "Whoever you apologize to is none of my business. Just because I don't agree with your personal decisions doesn't give me the right to snap at you over it. That's some ex-husband level shit right there."

Colette nodded with a gentle smile on her face. "Thank you. Water under the bridge."

"Did Garrett come back with you?" Brenda inquired.

"He's wandering the halls. Something about putting old ghosts to rest," Vienna answered. "How did it go with Danny?"

Brenda laughed haltingly. "He and I are OK, but Garrett isn't going to be a stop on the... what did you call it? The Great Emerald Pines Apology Tour? But Danny did promise to stay away from him for the rest of the evening." After dragging her hands down her face with exhausted frustration, Brenda looked around the table. "Fuck it. I want to get toasted and dance. Who's with me?"

"You have to ask?" Michell said gleefully.

"And you know you don't have to ask me twice," added Gio.

Sadie tapped her fingers against the table. "I want to dance, but someone should go get Garrett first. I'll do it, I gotta hit the can anyway."

Michelle nodded as Sadie got up and headed for the double doors of the gymnasium. Once she finished in the bathroom she simply began to wander, without a set path or destination. Memories flashed through her mind as she walked. The long hallway between the main lobby of Emerald Pines High School and the gymnasium housed the majority of classrooms dedicated to mathematics. As she passed one such classroom Sadie recognized the nameplate for Mrs. Powers, her teacher for ninth-grade Algebra I and twelfth-grade Algebra II, a pair of classes that she had barely scraped by with C's.