Come As You Are Ch. 15

She ended up taking a trip down her academic memory lane. Most of the classrooms had different names, but there was a handful that either brought about a warm smile or a weary sigh. Her journey eventually took her up one floor, where she passed through the science department while heading down the long hallway towards the cluster of history classrooms. As she walked, she slowly caught a glimpse of a slender form in tan slacks and a light blue dress shirt standing at the far end of the corridor in front of a closed door. "Garrett?"

Garrett looked up at the sound of his name. "Hey," he responded with a smile. "What's up?"

"Just wandering around," she said as she walked towards him. "Soaking in the memories. You?"

"Getting rid of mine. Taking the chance to look at things with the advantage of a decade's experience."

"And how's that working out for you?"

"Better than expected," he answered. "I hyped myself up to be overwhelmed with emotion, to have some great big cathartic moment walking by all these familiar places, but so far it's been nothing but dead air. Being let down's kind of a relief."

Sadie looked at the classroom door they were standing in front of. "And this is where it all began, huh?" she asked, motioning to the nameplate for Mrs. Jaine. Garrett offered a half-hearted shrug that brought a smile to her face. "I've been the other way. Every place I've been tonight, it's like I've taken a nitrous hit of nostalgia. Fun if you do it once or twice, but if you keep doing it you're gonna ruin your brain." She reached out with her fingers and traced the indentations on the plastic nameplate for a moment. "So look, I came to get you because you've been gone for a while. But I also want to take a moment to sit down and talk."

He ran a hand through his brown hair, which had reverted to its natural messy and non-styled state as the evening progressed. "I'd like that. Just you and me. Catch up for a bit, you know?"

Smirking, Sadie crossed her arms and leaned casually against the wall. "The last time you and I tried to sit and talk, though, we ended up banging on my kitchen table."

"Yeah, and then last night you sat and talked to the girls, and that's how everyone ended up knowing we had sex," he said, matching Sadie's smirk in a manner that made her laugh. "Seriously though, just sit and talk. No funny stuff."

"Aw, I was looking forward to the funny stuff."

There was a brief pause before Garrett responded. "Well, maybe if you come and talk to me... I'm sorry, are we flirting with each other? Because I don't know whether to keep playing it cool or up my game right now."

"You have game? That I'd like to see."

"I walked right into that one."

Sadie smiled as she pushed off the wall and patted Garrett lightly on the arm. "Follow me." Together they made their way up the stairwell at the end of the hallway. While the first and second floors were fully lit up to accommodate the high school reunion, only the emergency lights illuminated the third-floor hallway. Pools of shadow stretched along the walls and floor. The puddles of darkness seemed to amplify their footsteps as Garrett's dress shoes and Sadie's heels clicked against the tile floor.

"It's so weird being here at night," Garrett said, his voice echoing slightly. "Like we're trespassing in a long-abandoned tomb."

Sadie reached out and idly traced some of the brickwork with one hand as they walked. "This feels like every single horror survival game I've ever played. I half-expect the sirens from Silent Hill to go off any minute."

Her statement drew a noticeable shudder from Garrett. "Now I want to turn around and go back to where there are people."

Sadie moved closer to Garrett and slid her arm into his, an action that caused a brief hitch in his step before he managed to recover. "Don't worry," she teased. "I'll protect you from the ghosts of Emerald Pines."

Their destination was a set of double doors near the end of the hallway. "The auditorium?" Garrett asked as they came to a stop.

"Yep." Sadie tried the door, which, as she expected, was locked. A punch-number keypad was set above the handle. Even after ten years, the code easily came to Sadie. She called out each number as she pushed the keys. "4. 5. 1." A soft click came from the lock. "Colette was on Stage Crew," she explained as she casually pulled the door open, "and according to her they never changed the code from when they installed the lock. We snuck in here all the time during study hall."

Beyond the doorway was a rectangle of pure black. She peered into the auditorium, trying to force her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Vague outlines of metal-and-cloth folding seats began to form in her field of vision. "One second," she told Garrett as she stepped inside. After a few moments, the darkness was replaced by a dim, off-white light. Off to one side in the back center of the auditorium, Sadie looked up from the control board and smiled at Garrett as followed her, letting the door swing shut behind him.

They stood in the back row of the auditorium's balcony seating. Done entirely in brick and properly placed acoustic tiling, the large room had been renovated in the late 1990s to better serve the nearly 200 students that called Emerald Pines High School home each year. The seating on both the balcony and ground floor was split into three parts - a wide center section and two columns on either side. The seats were dark metallic green with light green leather padding on the folding portions. The control board sat behind a wide U-shaped partition, providing the sound and lighting for the large stage sitting below them.

Sadie led the way down the bottom row of balcony seating. She smoothed out her dress before sitting down. Garrett chose to keep a seat between them. When he sat down, he reflexively put his feet up on the railing in front of them. "This is still kind of spooky," he exclaimed. "I've never been in here before when there wasn't a show or performance going on."

"Colette swore up and down that this place was haunted. Maybe it is, with our luck." Turning to face him, she said directly, "Look, I'm going to cut right to the chase. Seven years ago you and I had a date and not only did you blow me off, but you also dropped off the face of the planet. The only way I knew you were alive was because you're one of my top-tier subscribers. You stopped talking to me, you stopped talking to Brenda, you stopped talking to Michelle. What happened to you?"

"Family emergency," Garrett immediately answered. "The couple I was living with in Orlando, the husband got sick again almost overnight. I had to race down there to help out. By the time he had finally recovered, I was just emotionally stuck and never got the chance to refuel my emotional gas tank. I was running on empty until a few weeks ago." He shrugged. "I know it's a poor excuse and I'm sorry."

"Bullshit."

Garrett flinched at the ferocity in Sadie's single word. "That's the same thing you told Michelle, down to the cadence. It's a memorized speech. You're either lying or there's more to the story. I want to know what really happened. You left me high and dry Garrett. I deserve to know the truth."

He took a deep breath but said nothing. Sadie watched as he moved his hand in a circle as if trying to draw the words out. He made noises that sounded like attempts at phrases and sentences, letting out a series of choked gasps and shallow breaths as he struggled to talk. "I..." His hand clenched into a loose claw. "... I can't... I'm sorry, I can't..."

"Yes, you can. Unless it's something truly fucked up, I'm not going to get mad or judge you. You can tell me."

"No, it's... I can't," he said, his voice cracking while his entire body shuddered. "I'm trying to tell you, but... my brain's not letting me. Just... God, remembering what happened... it won't..."

When Garrett turned to look at her, Sadie saw what Colette had mentioned last night at dinner. The haunted look. The act of trying to explain what happened was dredging up a storm of ghosts that swirled and moaned behind his emerald eyes, horrifying him to the point of emotional and verbal catatonia. He fought as best he could, however, it was a battle he was going to lose.

It was an impulsive kiss that Sadie laid upon Garrett. Their mouths touched just long enough to send a shiver through her entire body. She could almost see Garrett's heart pounding in his chest as she slowly pulled away. The fear was gone from his eyes, replaced by a look of joy. "Holy shit, you're still a good kisser," she remarked. Sadie managed to keep her breathing under control, but she couldn't deny the body-spanning tingle she was currently enjoying - a tingle she last experienced seven years ago in her kitchen.

As she leaned back into her chair, Sadie gently took him by the hand. "This is a safe place. There's no one else around. It's just you and me, and maybe the ghosts. Nothing's going to happen."

"That's the thing," he answered nervously. "I'm afraid something might..."

X X X X X

As he turned onto Granite Way, Garrett was barely able to keep a restrained smile on his face. Inside, he was grinning and hollering as if he had just won the Colorado Lottery.

Heading to Sadie's house had been a spur-of-the-moment decision. Gio had called it an early night, leaving Garrett to his own devices. A directionless walk around town seemed like a good idea. He had wandered until finding himself at the corner of Pine and Oak.

Whimsy had taken him up the block. Curiosity had led him to wander down the side alley. Nostalgia had made him knock on the back door. And then a minute later he was railing Sadie on her kitchen table.

The sex had been amazing. Almost six straight hours of tearing into each other. Even their attempts to sit and catch up quickly turned into some kind of carnal activity. Their time together had ended with a promise to meet up next Saturday for drinks and dinner. And from there, who knew?

Tonight may have been fueled by nothing more than unresolved feelings from their previous nights together. Still, there was no denying the absolute high Garrett was feeling. First becoming close with Michelle during Spring Break and now rekindling his all-too-brief friendship with Sadie. It felt like the beginning of a major hot streak, he thought as he walked onto his driveway, and all he had to do was play it out...

"Hey, asshole."

Garrett recognized the voice immediately before a fist crashed against his jaw.

He instantly crumpled to the ground. The gravel driveway dug into his arms, but the discomfort was nothing compared to the nuclear explosion of pain in his head. His brain was scrambled to the point where Garrett barely registered being pulled to his feet and slammed against a tree. His assailant drove his fist into his stomach, igniting a second sun of agony inside the young man.

"What, you think I forgot about you?" his attacker said as they grabbed the front of his t-shirt. "You think I forgot about all the shit you talked about me? How you tried to ruin my life?"

Garrett's tear-streaked vision managed to clear. What breath was left in his body caught at the blurry sight of Danny Eastman pinning him against the tree. His blonde hair was shorter, and somehow he was even bigger, but there was no doubt as to the identity of his attacker.

"I remember graduation," Danny said casually as Garrett began struggling futilely. "I remember you trying to dislocate my shoulder by snapping it against that gate. Every time I sleep on it wrong is a reminder of what you did. So when I'm walking down to Mile High this morning to grab some fresh bagels and surprise my folks, what do you think I hear?" Venom dripped from Danny's every word as he leaned closer. "You, whistling cheerfully without a care in the fucking world. And then I remembered, I didn't have to abide by Coach's little edict anymore. You're fair fucking game."

Danny pulled Garrett back before slamming him into the tree. The pain in his jaw had dulled from 'nuclear' to 'agonizing,' but Garrett couldn't find the will to cry out for help. The moment he tried, Danny hit the tree with him once again. "You didn't even think to look behind you. Just walking, stupidly oblivious like you were in high school. I don't know what's got you so happy, but it's fucking over now. I don't care that it's been three years. You still don't get to be happy."

Garrett did everything he could to focus on Danny. This was his high school bully. High school. They were adults now. He didn't have to put up with this. Garrett made a fist and swung, remembering everything Vienna had taught him, not to punch Danny's jaw but to punch through his jaw...

No sooner had he raised his hand than Danny caught the attempted blow. "Seriously, West?" He squeezed and twisted, compressing Garrett's hand and turning his wrist to the point that dropping to his knees was the only option to relieve the pain. "I can read you like a book. I always could. Any time you got that little flame of rebellion in your eyes I was already pouring sand on it. That's why I'm going pro, and... well, I don't know what you're going to do, but it isn't going to be with a smile on your face." Looming over Garrett, Danny twisted his hand a final time. "The next time I see you, it'll be your fucking shoulder that gets dislocated. Consider this a warning. Stay away from me. Stay away from Emerald Pines. There's nothing for you here."

Danny let go. Garrett immediately grabbed his wrist, rubbing it to relieve the pain as Danny walked away from him. "Oh," he called over his shoulder, "if you even think about going to the cops, right now I'm sound asleep at my parents' house. Considering part of my rookie signing bonus is going to pay off all their debt, I'm pretty sure my dad's got no problems giving me an alibi. Have a nice life, West." By the time Garrett used the tree to get to his feet, Danny was jogging away, leaving a bruised and broken Garrett behind him.

He didn't remember stumbling into the house, nor making it up the stairs into his bathroom. The face in the mirror was one he thought he would never see again, with an angry red mark on his jaw, hair tossed from being thrown around, and tears being held back because crying would let Danny know he had won. Wiping his face didn't help. Splashing cold water on his face didn't help. His deep green eyes were rapidly filling up. For a brief moment, Garrett considered letting go. It wasn't high school anymore. He didn't have to hold back. He could just break down, privately, without his friends or enemies around to see, and finally purge everything he had kept locked up inside...

His phone rang. It was reflex that made Garrett grab it instead of ignoring it. He brushed his hand against his eyes to wipe away the awaiting tears, allowing him to see the name on the Caller ID - Laura Collier, the family friend he was currently living with down in Florida. He took a deep breath and answered the call. "Laura," he said wearily, "it's six in the morning here. What's up?"

"Garrett?" His friend's voice overflowed with worry and sorrow. "It's... it's Ronnie. He's back in the hospital. He collapsed last night and... God, he was supposed to be better!"

Garrett's encounter with Danny was immediately forgotten. "Where are you?" he asked

"I'm at the hospital. I can't get a hold of anyone else, and the doctors... it's a different batch of doctors so no one's talking to me beyond all the medical stuff! I... Garrett, I need you here. I can't do this again. I just... I can't."

"Call your sister, get her to the hospital right now. I'll text Bobby, get him to come take care of the dog. I... I'll be there tomorrow afternoon."

"I'm so sorry. You just got back home for vacation and..."

"Hey, it's OK. My folks will understand." After hanging up, Garrett texted Ronnie's sister to let her know what was going on and sent a message to Bobby, the teenager living next door, to keep an eye on Laura and Ronnie's dog until Garrett arrived. It was over a day's drive back to Orlando. He'd leave his parents a note, drive as far as he could today, grab a crash nap at a motel, and get back there as soon as he could.

He dropped a quick text to Gio explaining the situation. As Garrett went to message Sadie, however, his thumb hovered over his phone's keyboard. The ache in his jaw swelled as he tried to type out an explanation to Sadie about not being there next Saturday. He managed to type out the first word before a vision popped unbidden into his mind - Garrett hitting "send" and then turning around to see a snarling Danny ready to drive a fist into his stomach.

The more he tried to type out the message, the more pain he felt in his jaw, and the more violent the image of Danny attacking him became. Finally, Garrett just shoved the phone into his pocket. He'd text Sadie later that day.

Half an hour later, Garrett was driving south over Independence Pass, a large thermos of black coffee sitting in the passenger seat. The further he got from Emerald Pines, the less he thought about Danny. Those feelings slowly packed themselves away. Each mile was more duct tape and each state was another shove towards the back of Garrett's mental closet. By the time he arrived in Orlando, looking half-dead in wrinkled two-day old clothes, any thoughts of Emerald Pines had been buried underneath a barrage of unresolved emotional clutter, consciously forgotten for the next seven years.

X X X X X

Sadie shook her head in shocked disgust as the story came to its conclusion. "I don't fucking believe it," she said quietly. "Danny jumped you?"

"Yeah." He pinched his nose before continuing. "Every time I tried to text you, I froze. When I tried telling Gio and Vienna what happened, I locked up. Laura asked me about the bruise I told her I was roughhousing with one of Gio's nephews and cracked my jaw on a table. And that was that. When I said to Colette I hadn't been back to Emerald Pines in seven years I wasn't exaggerating. Hell, just seeing the Gulls play on TV causes my hands to shake."

Slumping back in his chair, Garrett could only shake his head. "It's been ten years since we graduated. I shouldn't still be giving Danny this much agency over my life. I thought I had moved on. I was attempting to carve out my own life, I spent Spring Break with Michelle and reconnected with you..."

"Then Danny happened."

"Then Danny happened. After never processing what happened with Danny and helping Laura and Ronnie, I shut down. When I said I didn't get a chance to refuel my emotional gas tank that's what I meant. Any time I thought of texting you, or even Michelle and Brenda, Danny's ghost was right there, smacking his fist into his palm, almost daring me to give him an excuse. God, imagine what he would have done if he knew I slept with Brenda during the blizzard. He would have broken my jaw at the very least. Forget square one, Danny booted me back to square zero. I thought about therapy, but that meant talking about Danny and that was enough to dissuade me. Besides, what the hell was I going to say? My high school bully gave me PTSD, both Post and Present?"

He offered Sadie a small smile once he finished. "So, yeah. That's where I've been. And since Michelle isn't here to throw something at me, I'm sorry for blowing you off."

"You don't need to fucking apologize." Sadie reached out and took his hand. Their fingers automatically intertwined. "Thanks for telling me what happened. That couldn't have been easy to talk about."

"Kissing me made that possible. It settled my nerves."

"Why Garrett," she said while batting her eyes, "are you just trying to get me to kiss you again?"

"I wouldn't complain." Sadie's giggle was more nervous than she intended, but so was Garrett's chuckle. He squeezed her hand gently, a gesture she immediately returned. "So what about you?" he asked. "Fill me in on what you've been up to since the night I blew you off."