Comforting my Ex

"No." Was all she said in response. I pointed out that there were double rooms available for couples staying over. "What a surprise," she replied. "I have other plans."

If anything, the following week was even chillier. I tried to explain that the bride was a friend of mine but Sophie would merely nod and say, "That's nice."

I would ask her if she'd rather I didn't go. Her response? "It's not my place to say."

In the end, I decided that, as I'd already accepted the invitation, I should go. I explained my thinking to my wife and she nodded and went back to her reading. Later that evening as we got ready for bed, I commented that it seemed a while since we'd last had sex. Her observation, "I know when I last had sex". puzzled me. There seemed to have been an emphasis on each "I" that implied something that I was missing. My attempts to find out what, were ignored.

The wedding was on Saturday and we were travelling to the venue after work on Friday, returning after lunch on Sunday. When I got in from work that Friday afternoon, Sophie was part-way through the pile of ironing. That was a relief. It would save me some time.

But no. She picked up the pile of pressed clothes and headed for the bedroom. I examined the remaining items. Of course; all mine. I picked out a couple of shirts and started in. By the time I joined my wife she had her hard-shell carry-on case on the bed carefully laying her clothes into it. I looked at her enquiringly. She ignored me.

"Are you going somewhere nice?" I ventured.

"No, I thought, as I was on my own all weekend, I'd treat myself to a particularly shitty trip," came the sarcastic response.

I suppose I deserved that. I seemed to be filling all the top slots on the stupid questions list this month. "I just wondered what you had planned," I explained.

"Well, wasn't that nice of you. Showing an interest in little old me. That makes me feel so appreciated." She finished packing and went into the bathroom. I sorted my own case out. By the time she emerged, wrapped in a towel, I had finished and was at risk of running late.

After a quick shower and shave, I hurriedly dressed. I opened my overnight bag for one last check and found a box of condoms. I hadn't put them there. What the fuck? Frowning, I opened the box to see if it actually did contain contraceptives. It did and also inside was a notelet. It read, "Just in case Ellie trips Katie up and she accidentally falls on your penis."

This was ridiculous. I closed my case, grabbed my wallet and keys and went to talk to Sophie. She needed to understand that there was nothing going on between Katie and me. Sophie was sitting looking at her phone in the living room.

"I am not sleeping with Katie this weekend," I told her.

"Oh, why? Will she be on her period?" my wife replied, absently.

"What? No! I mean, how would I know? Why did you assume that I would be sleeping with her?" I asked.

"Because Ellie wants you to, and you always do what Ellie wants. It's not rocket science." Her brow furrowed. "Five letters; hit a puppet..."

"What? There seemed to be two conversations happening here and I wasn't making sense of either.

"Which what was that?" Sophie seemed to be mildly amused at my confusion. "Oh. Punch, of course." She tapped on the screen and a little triumphant fanfare sounded.

I didn't know what to say. My wife assumed that I was spending the next two nights sleeping with my ex but, instead of being angry, she seemed unconcerned; more interested in doing fucking crosswords on her phone. She knew I wouldn't be unfaithful but...

Her phone chimed. She stood, collected her coat and case and headed to the door. Again I followed but this time there wasn't even a 'goodbye'. She did pause though; turning to me as she stepped outside. "Tell Ellie she's won. I concede." and she left.

It was quiet in Nev's car on the two hour journey to our hotel. Nev seemed off, uncomfortable, embarrassed, perhaps even annoyed. Ellie ignored him; she seemed unaccountably elated while Katie appeared to be more distracted. I sat in the back, with Katie of course, lost in my own thoughts; replaying the events of the last few weeks in my mind. It was not a comfortable experience.

Nev announced that we only had about ten miles to go before we arrived and that prompted me to ask the obvious question that I should already know the answer to. "Where am I sleeping tonight?" I asked my sister, as Sophie's words echoed. Nev's shoulders seemed to tense even more.

"Well, I was going to share with Katie, but you and Nev sleeping in the same bed sounds a bit gay, so I thought, you know, if you two were comfortable..."

"What?" Katie was jarred out of her own reverie. "Sharing a bed with a married man? Are you fucking insane? What would Sophie think?"

"Yes sis. What would Sophie think about you asking me round to assemble the bed; set up the TV; use the windfall tickets; this last minute invitation, sleeping in the same bed as my ex?"

Ellie played dumb.

"Nev?" It might be unfair dragging him into this but I was past caring. ""Why didn't you put Katie's TV up?"

Ellie glared at him, as if daring him to contradict her. He shrugged before he answered. "I offered, mate, but Ellie said it would be better if you did it."

"And the bed?" I persisted.

"Same thing, Dave. It was a pain in the arse, having it kicking around for a week, just waiting to be bolted together."

"What are you saying David?" Katie asked. "What's going on?"

I looked at my sister with contempt. "That self centred bitch has been deliberately manipulating us. She wants you and me back together so you'll stick around this time. She probably dreams about being the cool auntie to our kids."

"But Sophie's been okay with you coming round," Katie protested. "Ellie said she was..." Her voice trailed off as realisation of my sister's deceit took hold. "That's why she was so curt when we went to the concert, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Sophie knows Ellie doesn't like her. She's too ordinary. Ellie also accused my wife of being controlling. She's not. That's the problem. We agreed our boundaries and priorities; us, family, career. All I had to do was remember that but, because Sophie didn't explicitly say no, I just let myself be led."

Katie was quiet while she digested what she'd just learnt. "Nev. Take us back. I'm not sleeping here tonight and David needs to be home. If Sophie has any reason to believe we've had sex, his marriage is over."

Nev looked at Ellie. "Are you staying?" he asked. Something in his tone wasn't right. Fuck! I wish I was better at understanding subtexts.

"Yes," she said, adamantly. "We all are. The price of a taxi home would be ruinous, so those two are stuck with us until we're ready to leave."

From my seat in the back, I could see some of his expression in the driving mirror: he seemed relieved somehow. I couldn't think why.

We drove on in silence now, Katie holding my hand. It was an gesture of support rather than intimacy. but Ellie seeing us like that, as she looked over her shoulder, gave a smile of satisfaction.

Finally we pulled up in front of the remote country manor that was the wedding venue. Ellie was obviously so keen to get us all booked in that she had her seat belt unclipped almost before the car stopped moving. Nev followed her out of the car, discreetly holding his hand up, telling us to wait. He went to open the boot of the car and pulled a single case out. He set it down and closed the tailgate.

"I'll take them home," he told Ellie.

"No!" she pleaded. "You'll ruin everything. Anyway, you'll be shattered after all that driving. You'll be too knackered to enjoy the wedding."

"I won't, because I have no intention of coming back." He shook his head in disappointment. "If your own brother's marriage means so little to you; why the fuck should I believe you'd treat me any better? Lose my number, Eleanor. We're done."

We left her there, shouting after us through tears of anger and frustration. Nev apologised as we began the trip home. "I only started to see a pattern in the last week or so. I fell for her games too."

Katie also convinced me that she was unaware of Ellie's scheming. "In fact," she told us. "In three weeks time, I'll be moving to Belgium. There's a temporary vacancy for maternity cover just outside of Bruges. I'd be stupid to pass up a chance like that. I only got the offer yesterday and I knew it would upset Ellie so I decided not to spoil this weekend. I wish that I had, now," she said, with venom. The three of us discussed how we each planned to deal with the fall-out from my sisters manipulation.

We decided that Nev would drop me at home to try to salvage my marriage while he and Katie would collect any belongings of theirs from Ellie's house. Katie would stay with Nev until she could move to Bruges and neither wanted to speak to my sister again.

So here I am, sitting in the flat this Sunday evening. I had texted Sophie to say that I was back home, alone, when Nev dropped me off on Friday night.

Her reply, "Good for you." wasn't very encouraging.

I texted the next morning. "I miss you. Can you come back early?"

She eventually replied. "No."

She got in twenty minutes ago, barely acknowledged me and went into the bedroom. I followed her.

I explained how Ellie had been orchestrating things to try to push Katie and I back together. Sophie just looked at blankly at me. I understood.

"But on their own, each thing seemed so reasonable," I protested.

"Us, families, careers," Sophie reminded me. "Just how fucking hard was that to remember? Three simple words in reverse alphabetical order. No mention of exes anywhere."

She pushed past me into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. "Katie was never interested in restarting our relationship," I called through the door. My wife didn't reply. "I suppose we have a lot to talk about," I suggested.

"You think?" came the muffled reply. She added something else but most of it was lost in the sound of the running water

So here I am, waiting for her to finish her shower; looking forward to putting the misunderstandings behind us and clearing the air. I knew she was ready to re-engage because, thinking back on her final comment, I was sure she'd said something like, "Yes David, we definitely need to talk."