All Comments on 'Coming Home'

GOOD

Loved it! She lost though so doesn't HE need to get started on the portrait?

Fantastic story of sibling love and hot hot sexy stuff. Please keep writing more of these two as they go through life together and most unusually with parental consent. Top story thank you.

loved this erotic romantic story. loved the characters loved the direction of the story 5*s .

Part of me wishes I knew more about the contents of her diary that changed their entirely family dynamic, then again not knowing probably makes the story shorter and get to the point more quickly. Well-crafted arc, especially appreciate the characters (and author) taking their time to get things moving forward.

Pretty good, I'd say. If that's the end of it I think I'm disappointed. Also wondering if this story means you won't be finishing 'The House Boat,' a story I was following and enjoying.

@Robinius1 - Never fear, the final chapter 'The House Boat' is currently in the approval queue and should be published soon-ish. 'Coming Home' was just a quick oneshot I wrote at the same time.

GREAT!!!!!!! Write more stories. Thanks

Absolutely loved this story! Character development was executed perfectly and the pacing of Laura and Brendan's relationship was nailed, both of which are two of the most important aspects of a story to me. Just a thought, I'm always a sucker for story titles that use a specific line from the story that really capture the overall essence of the tale. This is something that Xarth sometimes uses, who you mentioned as a source of inspiration. For this story, I think your line of "Brushstrokes of the Painting" would have made for an excellent title. Perhaps you'll disagree, those are just my two cents. If you agree, maybe you'd want to employ that in the future. Up to you. Again, very nice job. Thanks for the story.

Excellent!!!! And I absolutely loved the Morse Code dividers. COMINGHOME through out with TOGETHERFOREVER at the end. Clever! 5 🌟 stars.

2nd comment @ Robinius1....read shakna's biography regarding The House Boat. The last and final chapter is in post production and should be available for reading in a few days. Waiting on Katie's story is killing me. Ten revisions and counting.....

What can I say? I loved the story! You put enough background and character development to make the story meaningful, but not so much as to be tedious.

I have to think that those “discussions “ Laura had with her Mom had to be …..what’s the right word?, unusual, intense? Definitely different!

Great story!

@ScottishTexan, @Robinius1 - The last chapter of The House Boat is actually up! Unfortunately, something went wrong and it didn't get linked into the series, but you can find it on my profile.

@ScottishTexan - I am so sorry about Shivers... I feel like the anticipation is going to ruin it when I finally get it into a shape I'm happy with...

Wow!!!!!

Absolutely fan ..fucking..tastic!!!!!!!

Please… more chapters to this wonderful story…MORE!!!!!!!

We need to read more about these two, surely you have enough in you to make this tale into a many chaptered story. This story deserves enlargement into many chapters….do it!!!!!!

Story was good. Curious wants the next chapter with this family.

One observation: Why use the word "WHILST" so much? Everytime the word came up it interrupted the flow of the story for me. There were a couple other opportunities to utilize your vocabulary, to really show the readers your skill with words. That aside your story was amazing and I'd like to read about the liberal parents

Loved it, but definitely more of this story to be told. Laura's gallery show. Exploring the contents of the sex box (Pegging? What are mom and dad into themselves? *grin*). Laura and Bren eventually getting their own place, and maybe opening their own little restaurant, as mentioned as a passing fancy in this story. And then, the most intriguing bit of foreshadowing, when the dad said, "...lets just say we're not looking to become grandparents just yet". That sort of implies they expect to be grandparents in the future.

Nice slow burn keeping the reader engrossed in the tale. Would love to see what a chapter 2 looks like and where this story goes

needs to be married. and a baby too.

For someone who obviously does not speak English as a first language, and making allowances for the fact you had a poor Editor, it wasn't too bad.

𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐍𝐀, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐘

I am utterly in love with your story arrangement. Only 2 pages and I am in love. Just touches the right parts of the heart. It feels so DAMN GOOD while reading your story. I never thought 𝗫𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵'𝘀 '𝙆𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙚𝙚' (one of my most favotire shorts here) could turn into this level of beauty. Wow just wow.

Excellent story. Beautiful. Going straight to favourites. Thanks a lot.

"Thanks Xarth", "Coming Home", "Together Forever".

I see what you did there. ;)

I'm giving this a solid 4, I think. I have one major quibble, which is that the two major emotional transitions (Laura going from mad to opening up and Brendan deciding he wants to be with her) felt like they occurred in about the span of a breath. The emotional changes could have used a bit more space to grow. You may get some complaints here for putting off sexy times for longer, but don't be afraid to take the time the characters need to get where they're going when not writing a quick stroke piece. The people who enjoy reading more romantic stories will appreciate it,as long as the narrative stays engaging with quality writing.

Beyond that, the character interactions were very nice, the writing was well-paced and enjoyable, and hit the right notes of sweetly romantic sibcest. Also enjoyed reading a story that actually included the parents a bit. That they'd already come to terms and were playing matchmaker was fun.

Well done, sweet. Parents were a bit odd. Would have liked to know if the daughter liked anal as much as her mom seemed to...

Well done! You must decide now whether to leave it finished or add the next chapters to their lives. They do get married, say in Vegas, she hits a big pot in the slots, they buy a small restaurant, she gets pregnant, you know, but maybe he trips again, like the ex comes home from Paris, and .......oops!!. Well, just messing with you. You are an excellent writer. Don't stop. Keep writing.

XYZ

Very well-written. True tribute to Xarth.

The chapters are separated by '-.-. --- -- .. -. --. .... --- -- .', which is morse code form COMINGHOME. Nice touch Shakna.

Gotta say this story took me on a trip, but I genuinely enjoyed the adventure. I was weirded out by the parents at first but knowing how long it took them to come to terms with Laura's love for Brendan definitely served the story well. It went from unsettling to a fun twist on a classic trope because either the parents are left in the dark, or (and I'm normally not a fan of this one) they join in. Somehow you found a middle ground I didn't know about. I also loved Laura's character. She was timid and shy yet crazy in love and passionate. Your descriptions of her as a girl you make love to instead of f-ing was flat out expert writing. Easily one of my favorites. Thanks.

Love the story. Will there be another chapter ? AAAAAA++++++

Beautiful story full of love and hot sex liked the use of morse code between chapters (coming home) and at the end the Morse code for together forever would love another part.

1 star for a fucking annoying desperate and sexcrazy brother and sister.

i swear i’ve read this story before, but something feels different. did someone else write a story almost identical to this one?

REAL INVASION OF PRIVACY BY THE BITCH MOTHER FOR STEALING AND READING HER DIARY

Favorited. It was sweet and light and I'm gonna' enjoy coming back to this story. And it has been a hot minute since I read anything by Xarth, So I'm-a go do that, now.

It said Laura and Brendan were barred from dating,kissing in public,or even getting married,but to clarify some states have such lax standards that first or second cousins can wed,not sure about siblings tho.Also I am almost positive that Sin City or Las Vegas don't give a rats ass about such formalities as that is the highest marriage capitol in the world and they even have drive-thru ceremonies where you don't even have to get out of your car.

So don't give me that nonsense that Brendan and Laura can't be together.As for dating and kissing in public the obvious answer to that is go places where their friends are likely to go and just walk around and kiss all you want people will just think your a normal loving couple and not give you a second thought.

Finally about having children that may be an issue but if both Laura and Brendan are healthy and strong then the chances are good so will their children be.And for the parents of B&L and their obvious enthusiasm that their kids should be together tells me that they support them completely,and even if the siblings are found out by friends I'm sure they could convince them not to blab it out to everybody.

Cons:

Didn't notice any romantic crush the brother has on his sister until the moment in the clearing when he suddenly agrees to reciprocate her feelings.

It didn't add to the romance either that in addition to the girl he went to France with, he fucked several others. Just for sex. It's delusional to read the premise that if you're experienced in sex, there's less pain. I wouldn't be wrong to say it's just a matter of empathy and prior preparation.

Liked:

The romance with his sister, both in dialogue and action. That he didn't pounce on her, but chose to act gradually. Your graphic descriptions of their intimacy were very beautiful and sensual.

Loved the liberal and trolling parents.

An incest story without the trepidations of whether it is right or not, how to hide it from the parents, and also without "will they or won't they?"

Nicely done, sweet, romantic, fun and sexy

Five for you

I’ve reread this story several times over the years and every time it makes me smile

This is amazing! Thank you.

Now this is what writing is all about! enjoyed every word of it!