Coming Home?

Charlie looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Yeah, I heard something along those lines, I just couldn't believe it or anything else I heard. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good, now you still got the yard stuff in the back corner? I need some Weed B Gon. Gotta run, but I'll stop by one day next week." I said as I walked down the old worn wooden floors.

I had practically grown up going to Nichols every week with my Dad. It had been around for over a hundred years, and had one, or even two of everything you could possibly want or need. Hell, Home Depot sent people there if they didn't have it!

Walking out the front door I turned left into the parking lot and stopped short. There sitting on the lowered tailgate of my truck was Meg. Shit. What's she doing here?

I stood there for a moment and thought I may as well get this over with now.

I walked up and stopped about two feet away from her and said "You know, that's my truck you're sitting on."

Meg gave a half smile, the kind where your mouth moves, but your eyes don't crinkle up and said "yeah, there was a time you liked me sitting on, or even in your truck."

Meg looked down, then back up at me and said "You were a real shit last night at MCCAIN'S you know?" I hope you had fun, because the rest of my night sucked."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect to see you and it caught me off guard. I haven't had to confront stuff that I wasn't in control of for a long time and I just needed to go."

"And for the record, my night wasn't all that great either" I stated.

"Connor, you may not want to see me but we're going to talk. Now or later, but we're going to settle things between us."

I stood there looking at her, and shuffled my feet a bit trying to come up with something coherent to say. "I'm helping Dad around the house today and need to get back with this stuff. Do we have to do this now?"

"I know, I talked to your Mom earlier and she said you were outside working. I'd really like to talk; I think there are things that need to be said, and then maybe we can at least be friends. And Keith and Carla's wedding is next week and everyone is going to be watching us to see if some drama develops. Neither of us are like that, but I just think it would be better if that's not the first time we've seen each other since..." She stopped speaking and it seemed like there was more she wanted to say.

"Yeah, okay. Um, how about we meet at the coffee shop tomorrow say around 10ish?" I suggested.

"That'll be fine" she said. "Connor, I'm glad you're back, I hope it's not temporary. Lots of people have missed you, me included." And with that she hopped down off my truck and walked off saying over her shoulder, "coffee, tomorrow, ten."

I climbed into my truck and sat there for a minute or two trying to digest what had just happened. Like how did she know I was there or did she just happen see my truck? Crap, did my Mom tell her I was here?

I drove home and spent the next three hours finishing up the yard work. I caught Dad looking at me real serious like a couple of times, but he never said a word, and I didn't feel much like talking. My mind was wandering over the place and I was trying to make some sense out of the two-minute conversation with Meg. For someone that everyone tells me was so devastated, she seemed pretty sure of herself, and mature in a way that I hadn't ever seen before.

We finished up in the yard, and I grabbed a shower in the outdoor shower we have next to the garage, and washed off the dirt and sweat. Dad knocking on the door snapped me out of my thoughts of Meg.

"Hey, you trying to run down the well using all the water? Besides, supper's almost ready."

Things were unusually quiet at the table, and I swear I caught a few glances between Mom and Dad.

Finally, I'd had enough. "Mom, did you go sticking your nose into my business today by chance?"

"No, I didn't, but I did hear that you ran into Meg, and it's about time the two of you dealt with your issues. I know Dad told you the same thing; maybe for once you'll listen to us."

I sighed in resignation, "yeah I know, and yes, I saw Meg and we're going to talk. Now can we please just drop this?"

I made an early evening of it and hit the sack as I was tired from working in the yard all day, but then couldn't get to sleep. Tossed and turned for an hour at least, all the while wondering what was going to happen tomorrow with Meg.

Sunday morning was your typical June day; sunny, warm and clear with no humidity; that would come in a few weeks as the fields heated up. I puttered around fixing breakfast, and headed over to the coffee shop. I walked in and got in line to order. I'd taken to drinking coffee while I was away; Black of course, with a dash of sugar. Wasn't like there was a lot of cream out in the field where we were working.

I sat down at a table with the Washington Post and a few minutes later, right at 10, in walked Meg. I have to admit she did look good, a pretty sundress, strappy sandals and just a hint of makeup.

"Let me get an iced chai and I'll be right back." She said.

I watched her walk up to the counter and I couldn't help but notice her ass looked even better now at almost 30 then it did when we married. Maybe she'd been working out or something, but she looked, I don't know... I guess mature.

She came back to my table and sat down and said, "so how are you?"

"I'm good. Glad to be back and see the guys, but wondering what I'm going to do back here and if I want to stay."

She nodded as if to say she understood. "Yeah, I enjoy teaching, but I'm not sure I want to do it for 40 years. I'm glad it's summer and school's out, I was ready for the break."

"Look Connor, I really don't want to do this in front of everyone. Can we go somewhere else?"

I looked at her, paused a minute, and sighed. "Meet me over at the Baseball Field."

The Baseball Field was where all the good Little League and Babe Ruth tournament games were played. There were lots of bleachers to sit on, and years ago when we were in school, we'd sit way up in the stands and talk, watching whatever game was going on. She watched a lot of my games there too.

I got in my truck and drove over to the Field and climbed up to our old favorite spot. She pulled in a few minutes later in her Honda Civic and I could see she was on her cellphone.

She sat in the car for a few minutes and then put the phone down and climbed up and sat down beside me.

"Okay, it's your show. You wanted to talk, talk," I said, and motioned for her to go ahead.

"Connor, why did you run off and leave? Why couldn't you stay and listen to me explain what happened and how things got to the point they did? I fucked up and did things a wife shouldn't do, but I didn't sleep with Rob and I told him to stay away from me and to never speak to me again."

"Really"? I tried not to sound sarcastic, but I'm sure it came through, anyway. "So, what was I supposed to think when you'd been lying to me about the birth control pills, bickering with me over stupid stuff, and then I come home early, gee how stereotypical. I see Rob pulling out of our driveway, and when I walk in the door, you're half naked and then you freak out that I caught you!"

My voice was rising as I spoke and I stopped, put my head in my hands to compose myself, and turned back to Meg.

"Sorry." I took a deep breath.

"Maybe I should have heard you out, MAYBE, there was a somewhat reasonable explanation. Did he try to force himself on you? Sure didn't seem like that had been the case, especially since you were blubbering, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.... I just didn't see the point in sticking around to hear a bunch of lies and then I talked to Matt and it sounded like a good opportunity to go work for his company."

Meg sat there and took a deep breath. "Well, I can understand that and the truth of the matter is I made some really bad decisions and I'll always regret them, but I always loved you and I guess I still do. I was just getting overwhelmed with the idea of starting a family, hearing women from work bitching about how hard it was being a parent, other women wanting to play the field and have fun. And that night Jessica had some MDMA and gave me some to try; she swore it would enhance things for you and me in the bedroom. Unfortunately, it also ended up making me horny as hell and affected my judgment."

"Rob had run into us a few times before on our nights out and was always a gentleman. We even danced a few times, so when it was suggested that he drive me home, I wasn't thinking something inappropriate could happen. We were bantering at the club, making little innuendos, I guess you would call it flirting, and by the time he pulled into our driveway I was pretty well lit. He helped me out of the car and I was a little off balance, so he walked me to the door. The next thing I knew, he was kissing me and had his hand on my ass. I was pretty drunk and kissed him back. By that time, I wasn't thinking too clearly and the Ecstasy had me all revved up and I was mad at you. Mad because we were fighting, mad because you were so sure about being ready to start our family, mad because I didn't know why I wasn't ready."

"Rob's hands were all over me and I could feel my nipples getting erect, but when he slipped his hand inside my blouse and pinched them, it was like I woke up and realized what I was doing. I freaked out, pushed him away, and told him to get out, and just leave now. He got mad and left, and I sat there crying because I was so confused, and then you came home and I just, I just, lost it."

Meg stopped and looked up at me and said, "I'm sorry, I never meant to do that, and I never meant to hurt you."

"And you just left. You didn't yell at me, didn't want to hear from me, you just ran away. Which wasn't like you. I guess that told me how much I had hurt you, but I always thought we were best friend's first. Even before we were lovers. I guess that's what really crushed me; that my best friend left me."

She stopped talking and looked at me to see my reaction. There was a bit of moisture in her eyes and I could tell she wanted to say more.

I was stunned. Part of me was pissed as hell, because she had done things like I had assumed. Then again, she had NOT slept with Rob and had put a stop to things before he had done more.

I realized she was right about one thing; running away from a problem was not what I typically did. The reality though was that we were divorced and three years had passed. While I still felt emotional pain, I had suppressed it and moved on with life, or so I thought. Now, I wasn't sure, but what could I do about things?

I could tell she was waiting for me to say something, so I looked at her and tried to start talking.

"You're right, I don't usually run, and I shouldn't have. For that I'm sorry. And I should have at least given you the opportunity to explain. I don't know if that would have made a difference, but that's what I should have done. But three years have gone by and we've both moved on; you look good and I assume things are good for you."

"Things are mostly good. I'm looking into Grad school and I've been working out at the gym. I have the old gang to hang with and a few new friends. Oh, and I took up mountain biking, but I've missed having you in my life. It really hurt when you left and I got served divorce papers."

I nodded and said "I'm sorry, I didn't intend to be hurtful by filing, I just didn't see us continuing being married. And now it's been three years and we've both grown and changed. I'm trying to sort out the rest of my life also. I don't know if I can live back here after everything or if I need to find somewhere else to go."

Meg looked at me and asked, "So what was it like living in Argentina? Do you think you'll go back there?"

"I did like it there. The culture was exciting, the work was interesting and I made some good friends," I said. "As far as going back... I don't know."

"Lady friends?" she said with the questioning inflection in her voice.

"There were some that I was good friends with, but no one is pining away for me while I'm up here. It was weird dating, and I really didn't know what I wanted. Certainly not another relationship."

Meg looked down and I could tell that was like a dagger in her heart. Damn, I shouldn't have said that, she'll think I was trying to be mean.

She looked up at me and said, "Yeah, I get it. I didn't date for two years afterwards. In fact, even though I've gone out on a few dates, there hasn't been anyone I was really interested in, and since I don't get asked out more than two or three times before they stop calling, it must be obvious I'm not into them."

"Connor, I'm really sorry for what I did, and I guess I don't blame you for thinking the worst; I probably would have if the situation was reversed. But just know, I did love you; Hell, probably I still do. I'm not mad at you anymore for running out either. I know we can't undo the past, but I hope we can be friends, or at least friendly to each other. I won't come over to your folks' house if that will make you uncomfortable. And for the record your Mom didn't tell me you were at Nichols yesterday, I just happened to see your truck and thought, why not just get this over with?"

"I don't think you have to completely stop visiting the folks; I know Mom still thinks of you as another daughter. And I doubt I'll be spending much time there, even if I do decide to stay in the area. I'd really need to find a place of my own."

Meg looked up at me and I could tell she wanted to say more, in fact she started to open her mouth and then looked away and stopped.

She turned back and said, "Okay, I've said what I wanted to say and I don't want to keep hashing this out. I've got to run and meet some girls at the gym. I guess I'll see you at the wedding Saturday and around town. I just didn't want it to be uncomfortable for either of us. Thanks for meeting me and hearing me out."

I sat there not sure how to respond but figured something neutral or pleasant was my best bet. "Thanks for telling me Meg, I should have stayed to hear you out three years ago, for that I'm sorry."

She nodded acknowledgement as she was walking down the bleacher seats and I watched her get in her car and drive off.

I sat there for a while replaying in my head what she had said. Damn, the lying and the inappropriate behavior were definitely not 'wifely', but if I had stuck around and not run off, how would I have handled things? Would I have still divorced her? Would counseling have helped? And WHY was I so quick to run off? That was not the usual way I dealt with adversity. I could only think back about how deeply rocked my world felt. We had been BEST FRIENDS for years and there probably wasn't anyone in town who didn't think we'd be together forever. And then in an instant it all felt as though it was ripped apart.

I climbed down and got in my truck and did what I'd always done; I went for a drive out in the countryside. Somehow I ended up driving down this road on the way to nowhere. Literally. As in there were houses and farms scattered here and there, but there was no reason to drive on this road unless you were, A) going to one of the houses, B) Lost, or C) just out for a drive in the country.

And then I recognized where I was. Back when Meg and I were first talking about getting married, we saw this old, rundown house on a weed covered lot that was for sale. It had stone walls, rotten floor joists, a leaky roof, the plumbing needed to be replaced and the electric service was only 60 amp. We joked that was all we'd be able to afford, and then spend all our money fixing it up.

Funny thing is I came around a corner and there was the house. Someone had obviously put a lot of money and love into it as it shone. Flowerbeds and tasteful landscaping, with a wildflower field on one side were stunning. And kids toys were scattered in the front lawn.

I drove home and Mom was setting the table for supper.

"Where've you been all day," she asked.

"I went out for drive around the county, just thinking."

"Anything in particular you thinking about? Or want to talk about," she queried.

I was just standing there leaning against the counter as I often did when I came home from school.

She sat down and studied me for a minute. "You know Connor, sometimes Mom's have a unique perspective on things that can help, even if you're almost 30."

"Yeah, I'm just unsure about some things. And I'm questioning how I ended things with Meg. And do I want to go back overseas for work. It was interesting, but this is home. Even so I'm not sure this is where I want to be." I sighed, and just looked at Mom.

"You spoke with Meg, didn't you?" Mom said this like she already knew what had transpired.

"Yeah, we sat in the bleachers this morning and she told me what actually happened. She wasn't even mad at me, she just said her peace and asked if we could still be friends."

"I know, she called me and told me that you guys had talked. It's about time that happened. Connor, I can't fault you for being upset over what happened three years ago, but as Dad and I tried to tell you at the time, you need to deal with issues, not run away from them. And I feel like you still don't want to deal with what happened."

"Look at you, you've been distracted and driving all over the countryside the past week just like you did when you were younger. I could always tell when something was on your mind that you didn't want to talk about, or know what to do."

I looked at Mom and asked, "what do you mean, it was over three years ago? It's not like we're going to get back together and pick up where we left off. Besides, I need to decide what I'm going to do for work and where."

Mom just looked at me and said, "Mmmm hmmm." But her eyes were saying something else. Like there was more to the story.

Monday I did what I should have done sooner. I went over to Char's apartment to talk. She worked in the afternoons, and I could probably catch her after her morning run.

She was just running up as I pulled in the parking lot.

"Hey Sis, got time for some coffee with your big brother"?

"Sure, come on in. Is this what I think it's about" she asked with a smirk on her face.

"Probably. Nothing seems to be a secret around here anyway."

"Well, I do know that you and Meg finally had a sit down yesterday, so it wasn't all that hard to figure out what's got you beating a path to my place this early."

I plopped down in a chair while she poured the coffee that had been brewing and looked at her. Charlene is the more athletic one in the family and at 25 was fitter than I'd ever seen her. "Doing triathlons these days to meet cute guys?"

"Nah, the cute ones are just trying to pick up chicks; they aren't serious. So, what happened yesterday?"

I took a long sip of coffee and said, "Well, I finally listened to what Meg had to say, and heard what really happened that night. I still think she violated our vows, and I don't know what would have happened if we had talked about it. I guess what's got me twirled up is I should have dealt with it head on, and shouldn't have just run off. Now I don't know what to think about things or what to do."

Char looked at me and said, "I can't tell you what to do, but I do know Meg still loves you, and still beats herself up for getting into that situation. You know she pretty much ripped Rob up one side and down the other the next time she saw him. And I know she cut back on going out with the 'girls' although she and I will go out sometimes and let loose."

She paused. "I will say though, that if you think there's unfinished business with her and your relationship, you better do something about it and not wait."

We talked some more and then she had to get ready for work, and I needed to go for the final fitting of my tux for Keith and Carla's wedding.