Coming Home?

I was walking out of the Men's Wearhouse in the mall when I saw Meg coming out of one of the stores. I called to her, "Hey, what are you doing here"?

"Actually, I work here", she said. "Just part time while school is out. I'm on my break. What are you doing."

I told her about the tux and she said she had gotten a new dress for the wedding using her employee discount.

"I'm sure you'll look good in the tux," she said.

"Um, hey if you're on your break can I walk with you for a few?"

Meg looked at me for a moment and then said "Sure, I've got 15 minutes."

We started walking and made a little small talk but I figured I should just jump in the deep end. "I thought about our talk yesterday, and I appreciate you telling me everything that happened. And I guess I did overreact by taking off. I know everyone is wondering how to act around me and if they can talk about you, and I don't want people to feel like that. I don't know where that leaves us now, but I think we can be friends. At least if you still want to."

She stopped walking. I stopped, turned around and looked at her.

She had a very serious expression on her face and stared straight at me.

"I told you yesterday I'd like that. But I also told you I missed you. And I said something else if you'll recall."

"Meg, I get it, but right now I still have a lot to sort out. In the meantime, I don't mind if you stop by the house, I know Mom misses seeing you since I've been home."

"Anyway, I need to get going, I have some other errands to run and Dad asked me to pick up some lumber. Maybe we can talk more in a few days."

I wasn't sure, but it seemed like Meg wanted to give me a hug so I gave her one of those one arm hugs and turned to go.

I walked down the side aisle of the mall towards the entrance/exit and for some reason turned around. I didn't expect to see Meg as I thought she had continued walking down the mall, but there she was, sitting on a bench near where we had parted with her back turned towards me. And appeared to be wiping her eyes. Damn.

I drove off even more confused than I was the day before. Why did I feel like I was the guilty party and she the injured party? Oh yeah, because everyone told me not to run off, and to listen to Meg. Instead, I took off, threw myself into my work and just moved on. Or so I thought.

The problem was that while it was obvious Meg was hurt by my leaving and divorcing her, she had moved on and was living life. She hadn't sat around hoping I'd return and our old life would just resume. I, on the other hand, felt somewhat lost and unsure what I was doing or even where.

I spent the rest of the day doing some chores for the folks and just goofing around.

Wednesdays are half price night at the local cinema so I asked Char if we could go catch a flick. She was down for that, so I picked her up after work and we went to see the latest Mission Impossible, MI IX.

We were sitting way up in the back watching the previews when I saw Meg come in with a good-looking guy, and sit about halfway down the theater. Char noticed too but didn't say a thing. They seemed pretty cosey, sharing the popcorn and sometimes laughing at something one or the other said.

I stiffened and Char noticed where I was looking. She didn't say anything but seemed to be amused.

"WHAT" I whispered to her, as the movie was about to start. She just shook her head and said, "Nothing. Nothing brother dear."

We watched the movie and as much as I like an action flick, it was hard not to keep looking at Meg and this guy. The movie ended and I saw them walk out arm in arm.

I hardly said two words as we walked out and found my truck in the parking lot.

Char turned around in her seat and looked at me. "You want to tell me what's going on inside the tiny little brain of yours?"

"Not really. It's not important now anyway." I guess it was all bullshit about Meg not getting involved with anyone, and her telling me 2 or 3 dates was all she got asked out for.

Shit. Why does it bug me seeing Meg with a guy? Maybe I'm not as 'over' things as I thought. But what to do about it? Do I even want to do something?

Char sat there staring at me like she wanted to say something, but she must have changed her mind. She chuckled and turned away. I thought I heard her mutter something like "stupid men", but she just shook her head.

I dropped her off and went home. Tossed and turned and thought about everything that Meg had said to me the past few days. It was pretty obvious she still had feelings for me, and she even said so. What was it? Oh yeah, 'Hell, probably I still do' but it wasn't just the words she spoke. Even after three years apart I was pretty certain I could tell what she was really saying by the expressions on her face. No, this was about us. And the fact was it was going to be up to me to make the first move. She wasn't going to initiate anything, and now it looks like she has a new boyfriend. So where does that leave me and what do I want to do about it?

Thursday was another perfect day and a good thing to as the whole day and evening was going to be Keith's Bachelor Party as well as Carla's Hen's night out.

It started off with Me, Keith, Evan, Dave and four other guys playing a round of golf, not that I was any good, and then we hit a happy hour. Keith's brother Jeff worked for a limo service and was our driver for the night; no getting a DUI right before the wedding or worse. We went into D.C. for the night, hit Good Guys strip club and a few bars in Georgetown before taking the Toll Road back home.

Friday was rough, I don't think any of us wore in a vertical position before Noon, but then we didn't really have anything to do except for the wedding rehearsal and dinner.

And that's when I found out that I would be escorting Carla's cousin. I'm sure we had met at some point years ago, but wow, now she was a knockout! Probably 5'8", about 125 pounds, legs like you wouldn't believe, and curly brunette hair and dark eyes. The only word that I can think of to describe the look is Smoldering. Things were most definitely looking up!

"Connor, this is my cousin Shelly", Carla introduced us.

"So, you got stuck with me at this shindig", I said. "Not sure what you did to Carla that she put you with me, but I'm glad."

"Well,", said Shelly, "I must have done something right, you're the best-looking groomsman here"!

"But seriously, I'm only in town for the wedding and then I have to fly back home to Austin. I'm finishing up Grad school with a summer course. And then I start work next week."

Damn, I thought. Unavailable and Geographically Undesirable. Austin was like a blast furnace for 5 months of the year.

"So, you must be loving our Virginia weather as opposed to the heat of Austin then"?

"Welllll, it is pretty humid here which is hard to get used to. Even though I grew up in North Carolina and came here to visit a lot when I was younger, it takes a lot out of you."

We mixed and mingled the rest of the evening and I was standing with a few of the other groomsman when Carla came up to me and pulled me aside.

"Walk with me a minute"

"Sure. I'm really glad I came back for your wedding", I said. "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it, but it's been good being back home."

"I know, and we're thrilled to have you here. Keith was really worried that you didn't want to come back to town."

"I just wanted to tell you that I saw the way you looked at Shelly and I know you. Yes, she's hot, she's smart, and I have no doubt you'd have fun with her."

"But." I said.

"But she's had a bad break-up and I don't think you're ready to start dating someone right now either. And don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Women's intuition, as well as the girl network tell me that there is lots of unresolved stuff between you and Meg."

"So, be a gentleman to Shelly, and figure out what you want with Meg. And then, maybe sometime in the future..."

And with that she walked off and joined the rest of the Bridesmaids at the bar.

We wrapped things up about 10:30 and I headed out. A few of the guys were going to MCCAINS for a night cap, but I just needed some down time.

Somehow, I ended up over at the Baseball Field parked in the lot. I sat there a few minutes and then climbed up in the bleachers to the spot where Meg and I had sat days before. Our old spot from years ago.

It was a typical June night, warm, but not hot and humid. That would come in a few weeks. Having been a clear day, the night was cooling off and felt great. The summer solstice was next week and it had just been a full moon a few nights ago.

What did I want? The $64 dollar question. It was clear to me that I still had feelings for Meg, at least on some level. Pretty much everyone had either asked me point blank, or had obviously avoided discussing her and I wasn't sure how I felt about her whenever I saw her.

Had I made a mistake three years ago? She had never given me reason to doubt her or suspect nefarious deeds other than the birth control pills debacle, and her behavior that night I left. Granted there was something wrong then, but I should have at least talked about it. Might still have gotten divorced. Then again, maybe not.

I sat there and watched as the moon rose and shone through the trees. A light breeze came up and the leaves were rustling.

Sitting here brought back a lot of memories. How many baseball games did I play here. I was a catcher in Little League and played third base in High School. Meg watched God knows how many games sitting right here and who knows how many more times we both sat here talking.

I looked at my watch and it was almost midnight.

I slowly climbed down from the bleachers and out to the parking lot. And stopped.

Just like last Saturday, there was someone sitting on my tailgate. And I knew who it was even though I couldn't see her face.

"That's my truck you're sitting on," I softly said.

"Yeah, I used to sit here a lot."

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I was driving by and saw your truck, so I drove around thinking, and when I drove by a second time it was still here. So, I parked down the street and walked back. And you must have greased the pivot on the tailgate cuz it didn't squeak like last week."

"You still haven't answered my question. What are you doing here, or more accurately, why are you here?"

"Connor, much as I want to tell you you're a stupid man, I'm not going to. Or maybe I just did. Regardless, I basically told you last Sunday that I still love you. And I know from talking to Charlene and your mom that you seem to be confused about how you should feel towards me. In fact, that's where I was tonight. Over at Char's imbibing a bit more than I should have."

"She told me you guys were at the MI IX movie the other night. Wednesday night to be precise."

"She also told me that you seemed to be put out about something. Something you saw that night at the movie."

"Wanna tell me what it was that bothered you? And why"?

This was it. She wasn't beating around the bush. She'd always been pretty direct, at least until we started having our squabbles, but this version of Meg was even more pointed.

"Can I ask you something? After we were walking in the mall the other day and I left, what did you do? I looked back and I saw you sitting there and it looked like you were crying or trying not to. And I started thinking that maybe you were upset that I hadn't given you any indication of wanting to patch things up."

"And at the movies I guess it bugged me to see you out on a date and being all cute and flirty. Like things were great, and you didn't have a care in the world. Just that after talking to you three days in a row I got the feeling that you wanted more from me than just being friends."

"And stupid me, as you seem to think, was even debating asking you out for, for, well, maybe not a date, but to go do something and see if we could be friends."

"And then I thought why the hell even bother. But for some reason, it still bugged me."

Meg had been looking down at her lap and her head popped up and she started laughing. Or at least trying NOT to laugh.

Oh crap, did I just totally misread her and now I look like a pompous fool for thinking she wanted to get back together. Probably. She really does just want to be friends, and has no interest in us reconciling. Well, Char is right, I'm pretty dense.

Finally, Meg couldn't hold it in anymore and she started laughing out loud. And rolled over on her side in the bed of my pickup.

WTF? "Just what is so damn amusing?" I was getting pissed. Seems like everyone knows what's best for me, or knows some big secret that I don't and I'm kind of tired of that.

She finally stopped laughing, somewhat and said, "I would have said yes. To a date or whatever you wanted. And as far as my 'date' the other night, obviously Char didn't tell you."

"What do you mean by that"?

Meg started laughing again. "Chad is a teacher at school and he's a very good friend. He's also married. And Char works with his HUSBAND."

"You do know what happens when you ASSUME I presume"?

I stood there doing my best goldfish imitation. Words wanted to come out, but weren't.

"So...that wasn't a romantic evening. And Char knew all along? I'm going to kill her!"

Meg was almost in tears by now and I had to admit, hearing her laugh brought back a lot of memories. She hopped down off the truck and started walking.

"What are you doing"?

She turned around and grabbed my hand. "Come with me," she said, and headed up to the bleachers.

I finally came in about 3 am and maybe fell asleep by 5, just in time for the sun to come shining in the window.

We sat up in the bleachers for a long time talking that night. And no, we did not make love under the moonlight in the back of my truck, even though I always kept a blanket in the back seat. We said a lot of things to each other that should have been said long ago. I think Matt is going to have to find someone else to go back to Argentina. Not sure what I'm going to be doing for work these next few months, but with Meg only working part time over the summer, I suspect we'll be spending a fair amount of time together until school starts again.

The wedding wasn't until four in the afternoon and I did manage to sleep until 1130, so I was pretty rested when I got up. I got a shower and threw on some jeans. Mom and Dad were just coming in for lunch, and they both looked at me with that same old 'parent' look I remembered from growing up.

"WHAT?"

"Nothing, you just look like the old Connor that we haven't seen in a while," said Mom.

"It's a good thing you have two daughters, cuz I'm going to kill Charlene!"

"No, you're not," said Dad. "If this is what I think it's about, it serves you right! She was over here yesterday visiting and told us about movie night."

"You've been all beside yourself the past two weeks since you've been home and from the smile on your face it appears as though you've finally figured things out."

I just smiled and nodded.

The wedding was great. I don't need to go into all the details of what happened, how Carla looked, or the teasing we all gave Keith. And Shelly looked stunning in her bridesmaid dress. I know the guy's eyes were popping out seeing her.

As beautiful as she was, though, I spent a lot of time looking out at a really cute blond in a cornflower blue dress, who for some reason kept looking at me instead of the bride and groom a few feet from my side.

I did dance with Shelly at the reception as I was her escort, but I made certain to get Meg out on the floor with me for several songs. While one should never upstage the bride and groom at a wedding, it seemed as though our slow dance attracted a lot of attention.

Just before the newlyweds left for their honeymoon, I had grabbed Shelly for a slow dance, and told her what had happened the night before with Meg.

"I don't know what happened in your life and you don't have to tell me, but maybe it's worth talking to him at least one more time."

Shelly squeezed me tightly and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you, Connor. Carla told me all about what happened with you and Meg, and seeing you two tonight makes me think that I really need to talk to Drew some more."

The crowd was starting to thin out after Keith and Carla made their departure. I was ready to leave and saw Meg across the room talking with Charlene. I walked over and looked at her. Charlene took one long look at the two of us looking at each other and slowly walked off.

Meg just stood there, gazing up at me but not speaking.

"So, you wanna go for a ride in my truck?" I whispered.